Can a man ever truly be himself in a relationship?>Open up>Dont keep your guard up>they leave Is the game always pretending you're the most swag nigga alive?>NOOOO NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS Why wouldn't they be? They want us to be a fantasy version and when we fall short, they hate itLook, you dont need to be andrew tate but crying to a girl does seem like a bad idea
>>33814442>Can a man ever truly be himself in a relationship?No, if you're a man, you are alone. Your job is to bring forth light from darkness like a solitary god. The sooner you integrate this the happier healthier and holier you will be.>Is the game always pretending you're the most swag nigga alive?No, you pretend to be swag when it's affectatious and useful, but you're actually meant to become that swag, rather than go through your life being a phony, which doesn't work. >le women are adult childrenEveryone who has been in a serious relationship knows this, it's just polite to pretend otherwise. You're not supposed to turn any of these facts into a personality or argue about it with everyone, you're just supposed to integrate this knowledge and act accordingly.
>>33814464I foolishly thought anon>if I get handsome enough, charismatic enough, etc - then I can find a girl to open up to What a fucking mistake, everything you said is so right. So the question I have my friend, what is the role of opening up for us? Because being too rigid and masculine also seems to not be hot, but a guy who reads and is half a fag, it works? What do you think is the correct amount of feigned opening up, also man do they pretend like they want you to open upim a fucking idiot and i needed ur message, ty
I opened up to my fiance about regretting not exploring with other women before I met her and she said she could be okay with me fucking other women. I think if it actually came to it she wouldn't be okay, it's not a fetish so it's not like she really wants me fucking other women, she's just exceptionally empathetic and understanding. The following day she sucked my cock under the table while I worked from home so clearly me opening up was not the massive turn off you think it is.I guess what I'm trying to say OP is find a better woman.
>>33814473have pulled 100s of women, you have a generational pull btw props king
>>33814442Who caaaaaaaares?Be the man.
>>33814442>>33814464>>33814472You lack experience.>>33814479You'll never even get any.
>>33814478>have pulled 100s of women, you have a generational pull btw She's the only woman I've ever pulled, am I really that lucky?
>>33814442>Can a man ever truly be himself in a relationship?You ask a question too broad to be answered meaningfully. If you really consider the limits of the concept, no one can truly be themselves in any aspect of life. I'm never "truly" myself in front of my parents because I don't want them to know about my embarrassing habits and things that would embarrass them. I'm never "truly" myself at work because I have to be professional when I'm on the clock. I'm never "truly" myself in front of my male friends because we don't share certain vulnerabilities with each other. The only time people are ever "truly" themselves is when they are alone. I guess if you want to be as good faith as possible I'd say that relationships are where you can share parts of yourself that you don't share with the rest of the world. That doesn't mean completely releasing all emotional regulation and "crying" to your girlfriend every day. A girlfriend is supposed to be a partner in life - someone you can celebrate with, mourn with, and traverse the obstacles of life with. You absolutely can have that in a relationship. It happens all of the time. I suppose the answer to your question depends on what you mean by "truly" being yourself. To those who are genuinely bad people and have poor emotional regulation and interpersonal skills then no, "truly" being yourself would likely result in a lot of failure. If you're a dogshit human I imagine keeping your guard up produces better outcomes.
>>33814473The truth is, even feeling this way - your husband will find someone else that they THINK is better. And what then? Your husband leaves you for a paper weight of a neo-trad thottie and leaves you to start your life over. y e a r s later
>>33814490enlightened anon plz go ahead then >>33814494this take is "reaosnable" and "healthy"which to me comes off sanitized, when in reality every part of the human soul yearns for uncoditional love which you will scoff at and i will say should be aimed at so to some degree these conditions youve listed are just an agreement with someone else whose ready to hurt you when you show your soft underbelly look, if those are the rules to the game and that love of level cannot be aimed at, then fine by me but i will be a better player of said game
>>33814464Not just woman, majority of people, just look at vax.
>>33814442The way I look at it, I am very happy single. I consider a relationship a hassle. So, if I get into a relationship, I wouldn't care about if I made a mistake and they left. It might even improve my lifestyle.
>>33814511>when in reality every part of the human soul yearns for uncoditional love which you will scoff at and i will say should be aimed atThere is no such thing as unconditional love, anon. We're not dogs. A certain amount of reciprocity will always be required to maintain healthy relationships. There really is no way around it. It's not even remotely feasible to foster any kind of deep, loving relationship with someone who doesn't foster the same feelings back. >so to some degree these conditions youve listed are just an agreement with someone else whose ready to hurt you when you show your soft underbellyI can't tell you it never happens but the common denominator in who you choose as a partner is you. The vast majority of reasonable people in this world aren't looking to sink their own boat, anon. Loving, supportive relationships are beneficial for everyone involved and any well adjusted person knows how to speak about their fears and hesitations with their partner without malice. Lets put it like this - if you're in a relationship where someone intentionally hurts you because you've showed vulnerability then it wasn't healthy from the start. They weren't healthy, your relationships wasn't healthy and it had no chance of becoming healthy.
>>33814528Then you're talking to a dog nigga because I could get there>BUT WHAT IF SHE She could get fucked by 6 men infront of me and slap me in the face with a bag of piss given the right circumstances and I'd say, thank you darling And if we cant aim up towards this then it's black or white. Its that or machivellian warparth into endless hedonism and material gain, WHICH IS FINE BY MEbut im not interested in some gay relationship with some woman using therapy talk to tell me why its reasonable that she wants to leave me over something retarded AND THE LORD SAID, LET THERE BE A TRT CYCLE, A GOOD CUT AND NICOTINE USAGE ALONG SIDE ENDLESS LATINAS
>>33814511>enlightened anon plz go ahead thenWhy?
>>33814564BECAUSE YOURE ON AN ADVICE BOARD IN A THREAD BEING HOLIER THAN THOUBUT AT THIS POINT, YOUVE LOST THE ALLURE WITHIN YOUR ANSWER BY THIS RESPONSE
>>33814561>And if we cant aim up towards this then it's black or white. Its that or machivellian warparth into endless hedonism and material gain, WHICH IS FINE BY MEYeah, I just don't think you're really meaningfully engaged with the topic. The idea that love is either "you can do whatever you want to me and I'll still love you" or nothing is myopic beyond reason. I don't know where to find that kind of relationship because in my 37 years alive I've never seen it. Unconditional love exists in movies and books, not real life. We can't take endless abuse and neglect and still be able to love. That's just not how the world works.
>>33814576then if thats the case im gonna start 90 shitty business ideas and cope so i appreciate the feedback i dont think its about enduring abuse however i do think its about overcoming hypergamy eventually, given a long enough time frame no one wants to read a book about some bitch thats tentatively into you because you might say something she doesnt like yet thats life, however the goal should be to aim higher eventually
>>33814579I don't blame you for the way you feel but, in the most respectful way possible, you just have a lot of growing up to do. Rectifying the way you think the world should be with the way it actually is takes time and experience. Real life experience, off of the internet. Good luck to you.
>>33814570Alrighty then.What was the question?
>>33814692am i gay
>>33814442Here is some advice:Life fucking sucks and you have to spend like 90% of it doing shit that you hate in order to make the other 10% good. If you want money, an employer is going to work you like a dog to make that money.If you want a woman, she's going to take what she wants from you, too.If you want to be smart in life, focus on what you're getting out of this arrangement, like a paycheck or a mother for your children.Suffering is not optional, you just need to get a little of what you want, too.
>>33814442moids admit that theyll all commit rape if they think theyll get away with it, and they think that the moid horniness epidemic is caused by their fucking canthal tilt.you post THAT shit and you say women have unrealistic expectations because we don't all tolerate being lied to, choked, raped, and cheated on.
>>33814442incels will tell you no, because this entire thread is demoralization bait designed to get (You), dear reader, to become further isolated from your community, more impressionable and manipulable, and more reliant on convenience consumerism
>>33814494Excellent post wasted on retards
>>33814442No, men cannot open up to women. Simple as. No matter how close you think you are with a woman, she will start losing attraction to you if you ever let the mask slip. Even if you have been married for 30 years with children and she has bared her soul to you entirely. Women do not want men to be vulnerable ever. Don't even let on if you are vulnerable at times with male comrades. Learn to accept it and get on with life.
i think that's the hardest lesson i had.like i get soulmates don't really exist but the fact that opening up/being vulnerable is a danger in of itself brings having a gf/wife a tier down.like, what's the point of having a gf then? a free hole? i mean i'd like kids but i feel like it'd be more honest to be in a "contract" with a girl to get kids and call it a day. i guess my vision was having a companion but i guess i got too redpilled on woman nature.
>>33816320moids do not view women as companions, and if they did, there would be no male singleness epidemic.
>>33814442Unless there's an enormous amount of trust between a man and his partners, no. Women value strength above anything else, they are the more cynical and blackpilled of the sexes. It's men who are the naive ones. When they think they can fully open up to their wives they only to receive contempt and scorn in return. When women ask men to open up, it's because she intends to use those things as weapons to mentally and emotionally manipulate a man. It's an instinctive survival mechanism, that they themselves are unaware of. It takes a true partnership; mutual respect, and trust, for a man to truly feel safe in being himself in a relationship. Because in that of situation, the woman helps him process his emotions and help him overcome his shortcomings, and vice versa. But those types of relationships and marriages are extremely rare. That's why a man should only every truly open up to his moth, male relatives and his male friends.
honestly most people in general are like this. there are exceptions but they're rare.as a woman i feel this but i always assume it's because i'm the problem. because there are men and women who constantly open up to people and don't get abandoned, and there are men and women who want a partner/friend who can cry to them. there's a "right" way for people to open up (slowly, don't reveal any "scary" or "painful" feelings, don't be "too much".) and a "wrong" way, and somehow we're always doing it the "wrong" way. but we aren't taught the "right" way because nobody around us wants our emotions to be heard at all, they all want us to be emotionless bobble heads for them.
>>33816819mommy issues much?
>>33816845You have to be over 18 to post on this website
>>33816320>like, what's the point of having a gf then? a free hole?Yes, that is why most men date and marry. If you married your companionship you would simply bee yourself and let the vulnerability filter out incompatibles. But that comes with the risk of being left single and 99% of men will always choose a moist hole over personal integrity.
>>33816819My mother is an emotional child who gets disillusioned with and ignores/scoffs at her son for extended periods of time after watching action movies.I have talked with my mother about my shit and guess what I got? Stares, belittlement, mindless contradictions.I am going to kill this woman, and probably her entire side of the family of they don't get on guard too soon and kill me back, one day.
"Oh dear, you know what bothers me? I saw on TikTok that your kind of person is the one who ends up killing themselves"Yeah, whatever, if that day ever comes I will make sure to take all your, among others, ribs out and line then up.
>>33814442the answer is no.women do not see men as human beings. married men have lost their wives after opening up and their wives couldn't take it
>>33814442in my experience, no.My ex wife for example, after being caught cheating said this, verbatim:>remember when you first told me you loved me? You cried... Couldn't you have said it like a real man? 'Hey, I like you a lot we should take this a step further.'never EVER emotionally open up to a woman who isn't your mother or therapist.
>>33814442Yes. If a man isn't being himself that's when problems arise. You could live with a man 30 years and not know the real him just to find out he's not been being himself the whole time so don't sit there and force yourself to be with someone who you know ISN'T being themselves.
>>33814442A real man isn't gonna be with a girl that he can't be himself around. Only guys who can't manage to really get what they want or don't know what they want TO get it is gonna sit there and tryda be with girls that he knows he can't be himself around. A real man knows what he wants because we actually put thought and effort into thinking about and figuring out what we want. The people who actually take time out to consider what's best for us. Truthfully.
> Is the game always pretending you're the most swag nigga alive?No, but you can't be "broken". Vulnerable = broken to women. In a patriarchy, men are the leaders. That's servant leadership. You can't be broken.
>>33818016You can be broken if you want. Besides, if a man is truly broken, he will be broken. Let’s not pretend that performing the contrary fixes the broken man, it simply conceals the fractures to his spirit, but its still there. Faking that you’re not broken is a shit strategy my man, it only leads to further disrepair of the soul. Kinda like neglecting a tooth cavity.Women don’t mind if a man is broken, what they wanna see is if that man is in the act of repairing and planning his resurrection or if he is a man who gives up on himself and lets the void swallow him whole. And women don’t want the second type of man, they want the first. And by pretending to be unbroken you’d fall into the second camp of men. So don’t do that.
>>33814442>Can a man ever truly be himself in a relationship?Yes. But only if you were being yourself during the start of knowing someone. If you purchased a relationship using fake performances, then you will ALWAYS have a negative outcome the minute the mask slips. Because you’d have guaranteed you have chosen a woman who prefers you being fake to yourself. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, and when a man casts it upon himself, the more he will feel inclined to fake, fake, fake, shrink into himself again and again until there’s nothing of him left. He’ll stop knowing who he even is.
>>33816819moids never respect women. moids hate their sexual partners the most.>>33817282moids get triggered by women who acknowledge this>>33817341moids literally admit that they just want to rape and torture women>>33818047yeah moids brag about being fake and wonder why women dont like them
The levels of insecurity ITT are insane. If you can't open up to your girl find a better woman and if you can't find one that you can trust, I have bad news, you're a shitty person too.
>>33814442I'm guessing the best path would be to never keep your guard up, learn to get hurt and through that build yourself into that swaggin nigga. If you don't pretend to be someone you won't have to keep your guard up. Most people can't affect your life in meaningful ways by rejecting you.But that doesn't mean a lot coming from me, I never had the courage to commit yet
>>33818992this is such a weird angleare you implying if you open up and they leave, ur the issue?
>>33814442>Can a man ever truly be himself in a relationship? Yea absolutely, my relationship only got better as I let down my walls with my woman and we're both completely authentic with eachother. We put on an act for the first little while sure but as things got more serious we got more real, I wouldn't have it any other way.>Is the game always pretending you're the most swag nigga alive? Absolutely not, I have zero 'game' at all but always did well with girls just by being authentic and kind. >>NOOOO NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS >Why wouldn't they be? They want us to be a fantasy version and when we fall short, they hate it.Saying all women refuse a man who's anything less than perfect is ridiculous, would you say the same thing about men? Real love is accepting the good and the bad, learning to love the things that drive you nuts about someone because you know you'd miss those weird little quirks if they were gone.>Look, you dont need to be andrew tate but crying to a girl does seem like a bad ideaIf you're constantly a crybaby, odds are it's going to be an uphill battle for you. If you're capable and confident but having a rough time and need to get it out of your system, odds are she's going to be happy to help you work through it.
>>33814473it reminded her you're a threat
>>33816088>Suffering is not optionalkwab
>>33816139the only post with reading itt
>>33819205No, they're obviously the issue but if you never ever find someone you can talk to then the issue becomes yours. You should be capable of sussing out whether a woman is extremely judgmental or not fairly early on. It was almost immediately apparent to me how compassionate and understanding my fiance is. If the bitch is a cunt who dries up the moment you open up it shouldn't take months to figure that out.I recently opened up to my girl, truly opened up I mean the kind of shit I've been holding onto for a decade, genuinely my biggest insecurity, and we have had more sex in the last week than we have in the prior probably 2 months.
>>33814442You can "open up" just don't be a weak bitch. Same way a woman can change her appearance, just as long as she doesn't turn herself ugly (I'd leave her).
>>33818992ueah, it's retarded. moids tell victims of abuse to choose better men (even though moids admit that theyll all commit rape if they think they can get away with it) yet moids hate nothing more than their gfs and wives
>>33817302Some women have no maternal instincts. Best to cutoff contact and move on with the rest of your life. >>33818992You have to be over 18 to post on this website
>>33818083Anyone who says moids unironically is way too deep in the incel blackpillsphere to be taken seriously in any capacity.I hope you find peace and break out of the crab bucket that is your mind anon, and find a qt partner someday.
It's not about what you say anon.It's about how you say it and when.Theres appropriate times to open up, but there's also very inappropriate times to.
>>33814442My ex cries often in front on me…I’ve seen his vulnerable side multiple times. I adore him and he was the one to dump me 2 months ago. We’re seeing each other for some time before he leaves the country. Thing is, I don’t need him to pretend to be someone else to love all his virtues and flaws. You haven’t meet a woman who truly loves you yet.
My ex humiliated me pretty bad after opening up. And kept doing it throughout our relationship. What finally did it for me was she saying "no woman wants a man like you". So fucking weird hearing this after years of "you're the love of my live", "this weekend was perfect, thank you so much", "I never had anyone like you, you're so special" and such.Anyways... In my social circle of dozens of people between family, personal friends and work colleagues, I can think of about 2 people who SEEM to be having a good relationship. At this point in time, I really don't know if I still believe in love, soulmates, I thought I found someone I could be myself around, only to be hurt and have my self-esteem stomped into the ground.So I say, maybe there is such a woman out there, but god damn it's rare. I have so many people around me telling me to never get married, and from my own experiences, I just might take the advice. Don't know if I got it in me to promise eternal love again.
>>33820510True. To make it explicit: the incorrect time is anytime you are a male and opening up to a female.Hope this helps
>>33814464Real shit, been real since the beginning days of man. We're just next up to experience it. I'd add that tiny solaces are what keep men alive, you can never be your true self in a relationship again but you can have tiny moments that make what you have worth it. Idk, im also still figuring this shit out. I wish to have a family but the idea of being that kind of leader but foregoing parts of myself to do so seems/is an odd transition im navigating
>>33814494You have shit parents
Im a woman and I can't be myself because at the first sign of emotion, my partner will just dismiss it as some overdramatic womanly hysteria even when it's just a reasonable emotion. At best he's like a fake friend pretending to listen or care but will forget about it the next second
>>33820496crab bucket? i know what moids are like because they admit it. i've encountered like three other misandrists so far.i cant get a partner because i dont want brain damage from choking.
>>33824945Bro just let me choke a bit
>>33824969enjoy your "loneliness" epidemic
>>33825617>Won't choke and can't take a joke
>>33825819KAM was a joke, and moids get triggered if a woman expects head
>>33825893KAM - not really funny to be honestI'd give my girl head every day
