Long story short. Im probably among the biggest eff ups on this platform and I suspect I catastrophically destroyed my life. I'm super self aware and I suppose the one thing I did right is: I actually figured out what all my problems ARE and the underlying factors at each turn BUT thanks in part to the economy and my past fuck ups , I don't really know how to get out from the hole I'm in. Here's the story in a nutshell:> grew up needing to become a doctor because its just what you did to escape poverty as a lower class family. > got into all the AP classes , was always a B student masking as an A student > I got into a C tier local uni but transferred to A tier top school for comp sci> proceeded to flunk out of Top school cause holy shit it was hard> go to trade school for essentially part time work but not for a trade major , just a technical tech one (an associates)> Get a job as a software engineer , FAIL CATASTROPHICALLY , they fired me > go into depression> realize in every job I ever had, I was a personality hire, people hired me cause I was decent looking and they were probably hoping I was a socialite -- but trying to be a techie was one of the biggest mistakes of my life cause I lost the social skills that would have made me a better personality hire in the first place. > back in school at 28 , just wrapping up a bachelors in the C tier uni from A DECADE AGO in hopefully compsci (cause my associates) just so I can say I have a bachelors at least in this shit economy. But deadass, im basically skating through with C's right now which is the saddest part.
>>33816755I actually like building projects / the actual work - I'm just toooo low IQ at times, I can just feel that I wasn't fast enough for what the professional standard entailed. And not low IQ out of some genetic defeatism , truth is the people that are good at this stuff - put in the reps and put those reps in when they were young and they didn't piss their hours away being a dopamine junkie watching netflix. Truth is I always wanted to be a writer but there's no money in that and even less now with things like AI and the overall market shrinking as fewer zoomers and people in general start reading -- its a dying craft in many ways. I fucked up so bad , I really don't know what to do from here? Finish the bachelors cause im almost there anyway. If I move away from tech - I HAVE ZERO OTHER SKILLSETS besides being good looking / customer service. im running out of time now - I just want to pick a lane and stay in it for a career. I don't care what , I just I'm also debating a life switch , basically move away from ALL technical spaces , admitting complete and total defeat that this isn't for me and just being a funny guy socialite type and maybe just focus on sales -- I wound up in tech to avoid getting bullied but I realized this social skills shit is everywhere , you can't escape it if you want to be a part of the game. So maybe lean into the obstacle and get good
>>33816761>I'm also debating a life switch , basically move away from ALL technical spaces , admitting complete and total defeat that this isn't for meonly because of my track record and dwindling resources. If I had infinite resources - I imagine myself as Sisyphus in this regard , I'd be happy to keep chasing the intellectual midwit dream lol if it was upto me , I'd just work in my study into the late night creating stories, building code projects, etc - just being an all around creative But its clear , I faked myself into acting smart just because it was the smart thing to do. When in actuality , I should have been retard-maxxing and accepting a lower station in life from the jump , but I flew too high / close to the sun. Now I have neither path
>>33816779imagine failing at school, getting hired as a software engineer, failing at that , and STILL going back into tech despite admittedly never being strong at maths or abstract thinking in the first place. Am I a masochist? Is this the most deadly sunk cost fallacy you have ever read in your life?
What do you want to write aboutWhy didn't you become a doctorDid you escape poverty or notTech fucking sucks, fell for the stem meme youIf you have no social skills then you aren't gonna be good at customer service or writing
>>33816953Horror and Psychological thrillers, because my GPA wasn't high enough / I wasn't into extracurriculars that they look for like volunteering and all the extra stuff you had to do on top of maintaining high grades at a good school, no I did not escape povertyYes I recognize I fell for the meme , i don't have NO social skills , im just not super funny or interesting.
bump. Guys im serious , I actually need some input and help ill answer your questions too
>>33816779>if it was upto me , I'd just work in my study into the late night creating stories, building code projects, etc - just being an all around creativeJust do that then! We really need you. The thing about creative careers is that you have to do them every single day. You actually end up working more than if you had a regular job. That is the deal. But the reward is that you love it. Go for it man. Why be afraid of failing at something you love when you already know that you can fail at something you hate?
>>33820488That's true honestly , ive failed at everything except the thing I wanted to do - perhaps its my souls calling or perhaps its fear cause if I fail at that too excessively then its over and im purposeless
