How do I stop being disgusted at men liking me? Too many friendships went south, too many men I trusted confessed they were homosI can't function in the world without allies, women are not reliable. What do I do?
Make your intentions clear and stop being to mouthwatering?
>>33820712>What do I do?Perhaps be able to derive lessons from the experience, and use those lessons to 'dilute' the sour experience - adding one part that is not sour to one part that is is not that sour than all parts the later, and adding two parts of the earlier to one part sour further diminishes.
>>33820723>intentionsIt's more of a lack thereof >too mouthwateringI wonder if my appearance repels straight people. I've always tried to look good, I think its instinct. Seems like plain looking people have an easier time making friends and keeping jobs.>>33820728I don't know, I've come a long way out here. I feel like I've diluted plenty. Presently I feel like it would be cool to have someone to watch TV and drink beer with but somehow I scare everyone away. I might be literally intimidating people accidentally
>>33820712What do you look like fruity fly lisp accessorizer
>>33820794No I don't think I look fruity, I have really thick, wavy hair, placid facial expression and I'm somewhat buff
>>33820765It's probably because you have an alpha energy going. I love women who are strong and independent, seriously the easiest types to deal with.No I'm not interested in the weird dommy-mommy thing.Maybe men want that and the homos want you to dominate them?
>>33820765>but somehow I scare everyone away. I might be literally intimidating people accidentallyIt appears that you have found a lead worth pouring effort in.
>>33820712I've never had this issue anon. I also have an easy time identifying faggots and wouldn't be their friend. Weak men make poor allies.Maybe there is something about your appearance or demeanor that is attracting them?
>>33820712Your reality is a projection of you yourself. There's the concept that if the type of girl you like isn't interested in you, you have to change things about yourself to be attractive to her. Likewise, if girls you aren't interested in *are* interested in you, something about you is attracting them and you need to change that to attract the girls you like.Same thing about this. Something about you makes you approachable to gay men. Also something about you allows them near you. So you've got to look at yourself and the patterns you've experienced dealing with these dudes and change the program. It's all based on you, anon.
>>33821098Not OP, but similar happens to me with girls. I can talk to them without any problem. Usually they talk, so it's easier. But it always ends that they really like me as a friend only. Even if I do a bunch of flirting and some suggestive remarks.If I feel we are getting closer as friends she replies that she's an outgoing person and I am misinterpreting her behaviour.There is some vibe around me that I cannot figure out.
i just gave up on life
>>33821300What's your definition of "flirting"? Because "flirting" without expressing sexual interest is literally just friendly banter. It's the same exact thing.
>>33821321>What's your definition of "flirting"? Because "flirting"Usually a funny banter, with light sexual themes. It just doesn't feel comfortable to me to go into these kind of themes. Maybe I should, but I feel I will instantly alienate the woman I try to impress.
>>33821351>Usually a funny banter, with light sexual themes.Not enough. It's not flirting unless that sexual theme directly involves you and her together. A shit example would be>lol that's what she saidA good example would be when I went on a date with a girl from the grocery store who suggested I buy asian pears>Not gonna lie, I asked for your number because I wanted to see what your asian pear tasted likeSee the difference?> It just doesn't feel comfortable to me to go into these kind of themes.Get over it. You need to express sexual interest to get a girl sexually interested. Simple as. >Maybe I should, but I feel I will instantly alienate the womanYou are already alienating her by forcing her into a category (Friend) that you don't want her to be in. Look at it this way: You don't really want to be her friend, right? No. You want a girlfriend. You want to fuck at some point. So express sexual interest quickly. If she's into it, you get to where you want faster. If she's not into it, you don't waste time pretending to be the "friend" you didn't want to be in the first place and can move on to the next prospect.>alienate the woman *i try to impress*Fucking incorrect. If you are "Trying to impress" you are being something you're not. Meaning that even if you got her, you did so by acting. Bullshit. You get a woman by being yourself. i.e. finding women that are into what you're into. That way there is no act for you to get tired of. If you get a bitch by performing...you'll have to keep performing the act to keep her. Either you'll get tired of it and end it or she'll find out you were a liar the whole time and leave you. It's not a good deal, bro.
I wish I knew how to do the same with women, OP
>>33821452>I wish I knew how to do the same with womenDo this: >>33821098
>>33821098Well that's funny because I seem to attract trashy single moms despite people saying that I'm overly sophisticated, impressive and intimidating. And gay people. Every job I have its like a fucking magnet. I have to be social. I have to try to make friends
>>33821362> It's not flirting unless that sexual theme directly involves you and her together.Will have to force myself to do that. Never thought of sex as that important. Sure, good looks matter. I can talk with a hot woman. She likes me, but she never thinks of me as a partner, but just a nice friend.>If you are "Trying to impress" you are being something you're not. I tend to fall in this. Change my life schedules, be more available to her. I have an anxious feeling that if I make a mistake, she will not like me.>friend zoneMy idea was that if we get along, we can move our relationship to a romantic one. This apparently does not work. I do not want to keep an act. That is tiresome.Overthinking is also what constantly haunts me. This friend thing hurt me the most, she probably doesn't even care.
>>33820712have you considered that a homo could be a good ally to you?did you know that JFK's best friend was a homosexual?
>>33821835Honestly I don't trust them. In my experience they make weird smiles, find excuses to ignore personal space, share suggestive memes/videos. I understand why they do it and I don't hate them for it but friendship is about feeling like you can let your guard down. I don't want people that I have to call out, the harmony is already destroyed
>>33821879that's fair. I'll just say while many/most of them are as you describe, some of them, such as Lem up above, are not wired like that. or rather, Lem was indeed obsessive over Jack but he was safe and kind to him.not all same-sex contact is dangerous although believe me, I'm deeply suspicious of it myself.
>>33821885I think society was different back then plus JFK was the fucking president so he would naturally be more respected.
>>33821894well, they met when Jack was 15 and Lem was 16. then they stayed friends for 30 years. Jack was a very sickly boy and Lem would take care of him.
>>33820712It is extremely bad for a number of reasons to willingly associate with gay perverts. >>33821835If you want to turn a legendary intergenerational fortune, and political machine where your blood had to kill thousands into one perverse lifestyle, and less money than a mid size chicken franchise...>>33821879You're right not to trust them.
>>33821825>She likes me, but she never thinks of me as a partner, but just a nice friend.Because you never went past the line of sexual. Women aren't these asexual beings bro. They like sex just as much, but usually *more*, than we do. >I tend to fall in this. Change my life schedules, be more available to her. I have an anxious feeling that if I make a mistake, she will not like me.You need to do the literal exact opposite of this. *Don't* care about mistakes because you are who you are. Have other shit to do so she has to conform to *your* schedule. *She's* the one who's supposed to be worried about making a mistake. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. It takes zero skill to be that way. But a good, masculine man who has his shit together? *That's* rare. *That's* the prize. You, and most men, have the roles entirely reversed. >My idea was that if we get along, we can move our relationship to a romantic one. No. That makes sense on paper until you realize one night stands are a thing. Relationships from tinder are a thing. Do animals pretend to be friends before mating? No. They make intentions clear and get a clear yes or no. Now, we as humans have to be more nuanced and suave, but the principle is still the same. >This friend thing hurt me the most, she probably doesn't even care.She absolutely doesn't. Most women don't want to outright hurt your feelings. But she's not gonna feel something for someone she's not attracted to. Just like if a fat ugly girl confessed to you. You don't want to hurt her, but you also give zero fucks about it as well. Same exact thing.
>>33826084that is tragic OP, are you meeting these guys at the same sort of place?
>>33820712I remember a recent study talking about how women rejected by attractive men are less likely to accept advances from other less attractive men. Which anecdotally is confirmed by my own experience IRL. You're not disgusted at men, you're most likely really insecure and see rejecting men as a way to boost your self esteem.
>>33827408I don't buy this framework, seems like a gay way of thinking. Having an aversion due to bad experiences and a lack of interest is not the same as romantic rejection. I remember being a teenager just hanging out and feeling my social drive shutting down and thinking "what the fuck am I doing with my life" but I continued to hang-out because of some sense of duty. Its that exact same feeling of "Don't you have anything better to do than trying to involve yourself with me".When I say I want friends and allies I'm talking about people who are actually productive and share good ideas, make jokes, talk about aspirations. The people that disgust me are the ones that are testing-the-waters, scanning how I feel about them, measuring their own self worth in my reactions. I've seen this "friendships" play out dozens of times, they always end up toxic covert narcissists or homos
>>33826090Used to be church or school, now its bars and work. It's normal social skills to be somewhat receptive and open to people trying to meet you but you start to pick up on bad cues over time
>>33827467I don't really see the issue. I've had women attracted to me and after rejecting them I'm still friends with them. If anything, those probably make the best friendships as long as you don't lead them on.>what the fuck am I doing with my lifeI think the real problem here is this warped idea that you're supposed to "do something" with your life. Which again, could be a byproduct of low self-esteem urging to latch onto something to give you a sense of self-worth. Most normal people don't think like this for a reason (or lack of a reason). Like all animals, we're just here on this Earth to be ourselves
>>33827516>warped idea that you're supposed to "do something" with your lifeHave fun man
>>33823839thanks Anon. I definitely have to change my attitude towards getting women.Being strong minded is no problem towards other men, but for women I turned soft and bent my personality a little bit. This will be an interesting task.
>>33820712>too many men I trusted confessed they were homohuhthis happened to me twice recentlyfucking infuriatingone of them is married with young childrengl anon
