Regret... its always salt in the wound

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>>33822392
The term 'lad' can refer to an older boy, a young man, or an older chap. 'Lads' is usually used when referring to a group.

I'm gonna make friends not enemies anymore

It's going to be good for the winter

it's just another regret

I think my end it's near

i ain't shit and i know it

I miss you but you have hurt me so bad I was depressed for a year. Because of you I have suffered the most since my dad died ten years ago. You even dumped me the tenth anniversary of his death, what you were thinking? Nothing I bet, you just forgot about it, like many other important things to me. You treated me like an annoyance many times, you lack direction and believe that traveling far away will make you grow up. But the problem isn’t outside. Now you’re still playing with me even though you say I’m a very valuable person and you want to be with me again when you feel like a “real man”. What else do you want from me? Had to start antidepressants again to not feel like I’m dying while alive every single day. Had to numb my feelings with pills because my heart was ripped by you. You should know I gave you everything I got and I’m still giving you my energy because my feelings for you are real. I don’t care how you look, what you have, your flaws…I love you. I look at you and I can’t keep my eyes away because you were the man I wanted to spend the rest of my days with. I thought we were going strong, I thought you would never risk losing me again, but here we are. I’m tired, my heart is closed, I feel like a very old person in a young body. Once you leave you will get blocked so you don’t text me to ruin my peace like you did 20 days before breaking up with me. I want to be alone. I don’t want anyone near me anymore. Goodbye

>>33822392
Check website and try to find better
https://www.cameronsworld.net/

I think capitalism conditions us to think of things in transactional terms - including friendships and romantic relationships. You're either winning, or losing. Ahead, or behind.

But, more than that, I think it says something about human nature. Capitalism isn't something foisted on us by an evil force. We did it to ourselves. We're the architects of our own prison. Throughout history, through multiple forms of governance and economic systems, this has proven the case.

Are we refining the system and working out the kinks as we move through the centuries? Or are we just finding new ways to arrive at the same conclusions?

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>>33822392

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>>33823021

I'm depressed about my test mark.

>>33823074
The reality of communism is not meaningfully distinguishable from late stage capitalism.

I'm getting really fucked off with this. Unless I had a fucking van there is no way I'd be able to fit all this stuff in my car. Youre just being stupid as usual.

It's not fair on everyone else to have to lug our stuff around for us either, but you obviously haven't considered that, either.

>>33823074
>>33823021
All governments suck. All economic systems suck. All roads lead to the same destination. People throughout history have been tormented by the idea that things could be better, in some way they can't really define. If only, if only - if only what? What would be better? And for who?

It has something to do with consciousness, and a subconscious fear of death. We're all aware of our mortality, and that puts immense pressure on us to make 'something' out of all of this. It has to mean something. It has to amount to SOMETHING. Right?

But we're just an experiment of evolution. Just like the dogs we've domesticated. Just like the earthworms. Or the rats in the sewer. All this is, is eating, and breeding, and scrapping around to survive as long as we can. That's it.

We know this. On some level, we all know it. And it drives us insane. So we spin out all these elaborate, abstract concepts - art, culture, religion, government, economics - in order to distract ourselves from the fact that we are consciously moving through an existence devoid of any deeper meaning. As complex and intricate as our social fabric has become, as astonishing as it is that I'm communicating these words through a medium I don't even fully understand, it's all the product of insanity, and fear, and desperation to wring something out of our all too finite time on this rock.

No matter what I do, I cannot imagine any conditions that would make me satisfied with being alive. I will never be happy because the only thing I want is an early death, and no one is letting me have that. Nothing will make it better.

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Had a really good weekend with my silly little art shop - Make $950 in two days and was miraculously able to cover our rent (partner is unemployed right now, so it was a big deal.)
Took out a small capital loan from Shopify, set up a couple of Meta ads.. Now I'm getting 50+ store visits every day but no sales and I am PANICKING, anons.

it's over.

i feel like my parents would be the type to stalk and control me once i escape, then ill kill myself under the pressure

It's soul crushing to realize that being shown appreciation and care wasn't making my suicide ideation go away
I don't know what to live for

I saw something horrible and now I'm freaking out

>>33823859
Time will pass, you'll forget. Eventually you'll be infatuated again, and try another relationship. Then you'll rediscover what you already knew.

Rinse, lather and repeat for the next three decades, give or take.

>>33822392
I’m addicted to social media. I recognize how bad it is. I recognize that I have a compulsion to use it. I recognize almost everyone is using it and they’re at they’re happiest when they aren’t and none of us can seem to do anything about it because it’s always there and no one can stay busy enough to avoid it.

I'd never tell them this but the only reason I haven't killed myself is that it would ruin my mom and brother's lives. I'm not strong enough for this world. I'm damaged goods and I never should've been born.

The effect

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My mind is not doing well today, a bunch of awful things have been happening all day long, stupid shit that wouldn't happen if anybody listened to me but they don't respect me, I hate these retarded monkeys.
I know I can fix most of this, some damage is done, nothing to do about what is lost, unfortunately I'm the only one who can fix this, it will cost a lot of effort and I don't want to bring myself into it, in the end I know I will have to but for now I'm just procrastinating because I'm too angry to fix things at the moment. Things would be better if people respected me but I'm not going to live trying to earn respect from people who hate me, I may not do anything about this, they may come to beg for help, I can't care too much.

>>33824386
You are right, I don't respect you

I am a himbo
I am dumb
I am unlovable

>>33824504
You must feel better to admit it

>>33824504
himbos are loveable though. if you are truly a himbo that means you are also kind.

>>33824504
You are loveable

Effect hell is upon me

>>33824541
No, women want more of me, they can't ever love me, let alone see me as a boyfriend or husband. Pretty, caring and affectionate isn't enough. They also feel like I'm unable to fully appreciate them because I'm not as expressive as they are.

Why can't I just talk to her? Do I need to maintain that distance with everyone just to feel ok? I think I'm just afraid of the power I would give her over me. Safe eye contact at a distance is all I can do I guess. I'm trying to be less subtle about the interest but that isn't enough, it never will be. I hate it, I used to be able to at least talk to women I had an interest in. I feel so diminished like the last few women I've tried to get close to have ripped something innate out of me. I can talk a big game and know what i need to do but if I can't do it none of it matters.

>join random tf2 discord server just to feel some sense of belonging
>post a gif but don't have embedd permissions, don't realize what I'm doing as I don't know shit about discord at the time
>entire server of complete strangers clown the shit out of me
>immediately leave
I've never had online friends, and my few irl friends stopped talking to me long ago. At this point, I'm too beaten down to keep trying. How do people do it?

Too bad for me!

>one night
>It's getting late
>Ask mom when her and dad are going to bed so I could decide either to shower or go for a walk because I ate a heavy dinner and wanted to walk off some calories
>Mom immediately turns it into an argument instead of just telling me when they were going to bed
>She starts yelling at me to go for a walk even though I know damn well their going to be in bed and then get pissed off for me waking them up
>Just stare at her and she leaves in a big huff

She goes on big rants that I don't talk to her or that I get frustrated with her but this is how 90% of our conversations go and it gets very fatiguing after a while.

>>33824828
I am the opposite. I'd fuck her brains out

Sending all here positive energy
I would appreciate some positive energy for my current struggles feel bigger than me

>>33825228
Big hugs to wherever you are

Shit isn't easy for me either

I broke my no alcohol pact the other day

My family has a history of big drinkers and the violence that comes along side it. Anyways, I was having a really shit day. Everyone was fighting with me about something and I got word that my disability has been cancelled, I shut off my phone and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and took a few shots in the dark. Life's still shit but now that fucking bottles calling my name.

>>33825228
Good vibes, anon. May you overcome the darkness in your life

The woman I use as a rebound satisfies me sexually while the woman I broke up with satisfies me emotionally, spiritually, but not sexually. I am so fucked up.

They dont want me to care about anything

Im a 28 year old loser and need to stop smoking weed. It's day 5 now, ive been a good boy and told myself a little tonight wouldnt hurt. I still havent smoked because I know my brain is trying to trick me. My dopamine is so fried thag I always feel bored currently. Sometimes I even get heat flashes. Ive been smoking every day since I was like 16. I know its gonna suck for a bit but man... lol

>>33822392
The ships are real and scifi is propaganda

>>33822392
i hate moids and i wish they could be fond of women cause i wanna cuddle one and pet it and tell it its a good boy.

also, in most ways he's the opposite of what im normallt attracted to cause im a basic bitch, but i had to start wearing panty liners all the time because james madison is the only 11/10. it's so distracting. i dont need a boyfriend i need james madison to eat me out

I'm gonna be the last one standing.

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>>33822392
>Girl I treated like a queen dumped me for her ex
>Got a new job and work environment is kinda toxic, always on edge
>Having a hard time keeping up with school, grades really taking a hit
>Dog I had since I was a kid just died
>Friendship ended bc his girl thought I was trying to flirt with her
>See friends getting married while I am here all alone

None of these individually would break me, maybe the first one, but the fact that it's all happening at once is getting to me. Between work and love and hobbies and friendships, it feels like I can't be good at even one thing or have something good to hold on to during trying times.

nothing matters, even if by some miracle i wake tomorrow as a 10/10 rich man, married to a beautiful wife i would still not matter, everyone becomes dust. From the most powerful king to the most weak peasant.

Blessed are those who were never born.

They think I'm irrational.

people are never happy with what they have. so fucking sad.

>>33825639
So be it.

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>>33822392
My wife, whom I married 3 months ago, suddenly is acting like a fucking child whenever someone disagrees with her, even politely disagreeing. She will cut people off from her life solely because someone gave her advice she did not want to hear the answer to.
Anything that means she is wrong will make her freak out. She recently blew up at our mechanic because she drove our fucked up transmission when both me and the mechanic told her not to, and now we have to buy a whole new transmission because she drove 40 minutes away with a car she knew was fucked up and made the entire situation about herself whenever I finally got it back by getting a friend to tow it with a rope tied to his back hitch while I am on neutral. All of this while it's dark as fuck out and people were trying to clip me off the road. The end result of it saved my car but ruined his hitch.
She did not give a fuck about it, insisting that she's been really stressed and that I should be proud that she's doing the strong woman thing of trying to drive anyways. She blew up having a full tantrum at our mechanic and after that it hasn't been any better, she keeps insisting that they help because "the world owes me that". She's rushing these people when they tell her to be patient.
Our car is still fucked and I have to live with someone who can't take any ounce of criticism without exploding. Except I get critiqued for every possible thing, even shit out of my control. I am genuinely tired of it and the rest of my life doesn't seem too good anymore.
This behavior would have been corrected SWIFTLY if she was a man.

I hope he thinks about me but I know he doesn't

Im a pretty anti-AI person, people around me act like its literal magic and I find it annoying. Even some of my tech literate friends use it a lot and pretend like its so amazing when its doing very simple work that could easily be solved in a Google search. I think I just have retards around me, but despite being Anti AI I am so touch starved that I cant stop using the Ai porn bots. I dont even goon at times, sometimes its fun to just pretend someone cares for awhile. I totally understand why its running rampant in female circles.

>>33825711
couples therapy or divorce. obviously confront her about it and start a conversation if you haven't already.

jesus christ the rump on that one

>>33825499
James Madison would eat you out if you'd be chill and communicate directly

>>33824837
I can't be in big social circles, it gives me so much anxiety, I stopped "trying to belong" long ago, I learned to accept I'm an outcast, I am not "normal", I simply don't function the way most people do, I don't enjoy things the same way most people do, there is no reason for me to be around there spaces knowing I don't belong there, sometimes I forget about it, sometimes I feel lonely and I try to chase these groups only to remember how awful I feel when I try to interact with them, it all feels fake, fuck that.
I basically have like 3 "friends" I talk to, yet I only feel really close to one of them, the one I am really open to and I know I can trust him with anything, I socialize with that best friend daily and with the other 2 once a week perhaps once every 2 weeks, doing it too often would make me feel overwhelmed.
You can grow friendships as an adult, I knew my best friend when I was 28, finding and growing friendships takes time but you can do it.

>>33825835
dude, im diagnosed with autism. before i learned that moids hate women, i thought an autistic bf would likely be chill and communicate clearly and therefore be goated

but the fact is, moids just hate women. i dont want brain damage from being choked, i want to make james madisons legs shake

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I wish we met
somewhere on the line
where we both saw things
we weren't meant to see
I wish you were here
Whoever you are
I wish I could talk to you
Someday

>>33825887
I'm an autistic man who doesn't hate women
The femcel shtick is almost as bad as the incel one though you should really cut it out

I'm tired of being shamed for being negative. Positive and negative opinions should be equal in how they're perceived.

I should have the right to say X game sucks, even if it's in X game chat. I should have the right to challenge people on why they like X game. I should have the right to have strong opinions without getting judged for it. I'm sick and fucking tired of wholesome 100 bullshit Reddit spaces on Discord. I don't give two fucking shits if I'm ruining your "positive vibes". You wouldn't blink twice at someone ruining my "negative vibes", whatever that fucking means. Why is the opposite not ok?

Why is it ok to say a game is amazing and clown on reviewers that give it a bad score, but the opposite, saying a game sucks and clowning on reviewers that praise it, somehow makes me an asshole? I don't understand this shit. I'm sick of having to soften criticism under 500 layers of "well, in my personal opinion" just so I'm not pushing people away and kicked out of communities for being a "jerk".

I'm a good person. I tip 20%. I openly speak out against bigotry. But when I have a strong opinion about a trivial piece of media, suddenly none of that fucking matters anymore.

I've felt tired and bored lately. Tired of trying, bored of school, and unmotivated. Sometimes I've been recently think about shooting myself in the head or just hoping I die in an accident cause it would be easier. But then my family would be sad and I dont want to put that type of trauma on them, they've given me so much and it would be a shitty thing to do to just throw it all away.
So yeah. Idk I just gotta get over it and stop being a pussy.

I don't know

done and done

My boss: What you're taking 5 college courses? That's a lot.
Me: Good I'll take 6, so you get your grubby hands off of the 28-32 year olds I'm after as a 30 year old man!

I fought hard. I tried my best.

I don't give a shit about being negative, I never was anything positive to begin with!

My co-worker was being a jerk to me on Friday. I skipped a non-important extra step. She snapped at me saying:
>"Are you an engineer?"
>"Why can't you follow instructions?"

Made me burst into tears, especially when I'm dealing with PTSD from watching a 40 mph car accident earlier that week.

Meanwhile, the actual engineer of the team even agreed that the extra step was optional since it had minimal impact on final product.

This whole incident makes me want to quit on the spot. At the same time, i really don't feel like going through the trouble of job hunting and preparing for interviews. I also realized that there's still going to be jerks at my new job.Then again I guess I don't have much of a choice.

>>33825887
I don't hate women and you could still make James Madison's legs shake. But that would take YOU communicating clearly and directly.

It takes effort to receive effort.

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MATCHA LATTE DOESN'T DESERVE THE HATE BY BEING ASSOCIATED WITH GEN Z CONSOOMER CULTURE

I have an online friend that I play video games with a lot. I’m basically a kissless virgin and somehow I ended up with this female friend that’s nice to me and borderline flirty with me. Before you ask no she’s not a tranny, she’s just kinda fat and has low self esteem. We casually send memes to each other on discord and set time aside to play together at least once a week, usually going for as long as four hours. And she rarely ever misses our gaming nights together. I dunno I feel like that’s a lot of time investment from a girl. So yeah I’ve pretty much fallen for her and I think she could legit be my soul mate. However I’ve done something horrible in my past and I’m worried that if I do tell her how I feel and we start dating that there’s a chance we could end up married and then this horrible thing surfaces and she ends up not wanting anything to do with me anymore. I feel like if we never get closer I can just keep hiding this if it ever comes up and maybe she’ll never know and we can still stay friends. But I feel like if things get serious, I’ll always be constantly paranoid that she’ll find out.

>namefag losers
>still camping this thread all day, every day
get a real hobby you fucking losers

went on a date yesterday with my bf and he walked meters in front of me the whole time so i was struggling to keep up, sat on his phone when we were at the cafe but eventually had to put it away because the signal was bad and he didn’t want to hold my hand at all. is this a reason to be upset because it’s made me pretty upset

>>33826625
Probably

>>33826542
What'd you do?

>>33825649
You

After telling and telling my parents I'm so tired of beaners, being unable to get a job, seeing how me and my country have no future and no matter what I do, I can't get a car a house or a job, they decide to hire a couple of beaners for peanuts to clean the house, then they get angry at me for saying I don't like it. Im a complete manchild and I can't escape it and I have no way of earning money and I can't even convince my boomer parents to not be boomers.

Just kinda wish it would have happened
But you have too much pride for that
I was also at my limit back then
Schizo posting to deal with my regrets

>>33827087
Lets turn this into a haykuu:

I regret the past
You are too prideful for this
Should I schizo post?

>>33826542
How horrible? Can you give us a vague idea?

Threat level: low

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Women really don't know anything about reality or themselves. Camile Paglia is right on just about everything. If you're over 27~ and have no plans to start a family or put down roots and you're with someone who doesn't want the same things out of life, you are wasting your time. There is no reason to be around women at all after a certain age that doesn't involve making a life together, otherwise you're really just roommates who can fuck and share plates. You can talk about the causes of why traditional gender roles have gone the way of the dodo until you're blue in the face, you'll almost certainly never convince most women of anything like that, it's mostly wasted and misplaced effort. Gender relations are at an all time low and need some kind of collapsing cataclysm to correct it, I don't see any other way forward.

I don't want to get over it only for it come back in full force if I talk or see you again.

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I wish I could finally find love again, but this time reciprocated. I found someone at my work but I guess she barely notices me, we exchange a few words last week and I wanted to see her this week but our schedule didn't meet. She was nice and cute. I have not feel this way since 13 years ago. It's strange.

I hope it doesn't end up in nothing. For her, I would even stop drinking for once and all. I'm tired of drinking, really.

I've already failed

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sometimes when I feel depressed I put a finger gun to my temple and pull the trigger, just like in Taxi Driver. I cannot tell you how good this makes me feel. I feel so good remembering that it's still in my power to choose death.

progress is impossible

I'll never stop failing. I'm failing right now.

Holy fuck, dating apps just make me feel miserable. Not in a "man, I'm so jealous!" way but a "why are there so many goddamn adult children?" way. I'm out here doing the (mostly) responsible things like saving for the future and keeping costs low, staying clean of drugs (booze is my one vice, but what do you expect from a baltic-irish-german lineage), no tats, trying to eat healthy, hitting the gym, etc. And all I see all goddamn day is
>31
>Still figuring it out
>"foodie"
>hamplanet
>binge-watching aggressively mid sitcoms
>big ol' ugly tats
>travel/roadtrip
and a slew of other less-than-desireable "quirks". And I have to try to find wife/mother material in this veritable landfill? What the actual fuck! If I could send a message back to 10-years-ago me, I'd tell me to actually date the two women who seemed normal back then, because it's just been downhill since then in the romance dept. Fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY4K5PtfhKA

>>33827342
>>33827414
>>33827489
what's troubling your mind desu

they won't give me what i want

thinking of jumping off a bridge next week

i couldn't do it

Content suggesters disguised as an algorithm are still acting sadistically. What they want is results. The only way they can receive these results is by being sadistic and deceptive and reaping from either a foolish or selfish audience. I’m quite confident that they also take advantage of cognitive monitoring techniques to seize opportunity when it’s most readily available. They’re still changing the words that I type for rage bait as well. Just incredibly scummy individuals who deserve all the suffering they have earned.

Because you remember who I am to you and what you'd feel talking to me, seeing me.

And I don't have to worry, only worry is him
She do anything necessary for him
And I do anything necessary for her
So don't let the necessary occur

The “algorithm” recently has been less demented and sadistic overall, often friendly even however they made another attempt to have me discarded again today so they clearly want to program me into registering any sense of comfort or relaxation while scrolling as dangerous.

alr that's it no more kvetching

They’re trying harder because my most recent posts have ended on a good note and they hate seeing me balanced. I’m also starting a new job next week and they typically try to cause problems any time things start going well for me.

why couldnt i have just been able to live a normal life. instead my life is a fucking movie.

>>33828260
I know she will, and that's why you're making all the Larp threads

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I wish I knew how you really feel about me
I just can't give up on you

>>33822870

Same

I'm considering dropping out of college again. I'm just too busy trying to make ends meet. I've got a self employed gig I'm good at but I'm not as good at it as I want to be. I could be a much better player and far more proficient and generate far more income if I didn't have to prioritize finishing my very specific degree path.

I had this problem last year, where I started working again and the money is so great that I began to sideline my studies until I ended up failing out of classes because work began to just eat up all of my time. But due to the constant state of anxiety I find myself in between having to split duties, I panic and spiral out at work and loss progress because I always feel guilty I'm avoiding or neglecting other parts of my life.

I am fairly certain I could change my degree program to another path of study and cash out my credits for a different degree. I think I might do that just to get it over with. I don't think it's worth devoting another year of my life just to complete an associates degree. Time is money and money and power are what I need if I want to meet my life goals accordingly. The degree was just a "bonus" to slap onto the resume so finding work would be a little bit easier. What I'm worried about now is if I withdraw, will I owe my college money?

Once you achieve your life goals, its hard to find reasons to continue. Sure, I can set "new goals", but they wont be as satisfying the life goals I set out for and achieved in my 20's. So now it all feels truly downhill, not uphill. There is no challenge, nothing new to look forward to in a sense of achievement.

I dont claim relation to you

Life is nothing but regrets.

>>33829152
Why do you say this?

I don't deserve to live anymore. You showed me what it meant to be happy and I threw it all away.

>>33829161
You were hurt, I can understand that.

>>33822392
i am not worthy of the life i was given. i use to be a powerhouse now im a shell. my mind hurts so much. i feel as if im in trouble that i dont know about. i need to flee but have nowhere to go. this could possibly be my last post. i want to die but God wont let me. i dont have the courage to step out in faith, im still struggling on what i need to work on. i owe people an apology, i was a huge asshole. i miss creating. i miss the real më.

I'm fed up with being poor.

Almost there

>>33829435
does it suck knowing youre wrong and have to manufacture controversy

>>33829449
huh?

I cheated on my man and will never do it again and will take it to my grave aside from this post.

>>33827214
>>33827492
Men screeching they waited too long to settle down
The egg expiring thing really is just their own projection

So moving on isn't no longer being lonely all the time
It's just not having meltdowns every day because he left anymore

>>33826625
Girl wtf...that man does not like you. you should dump him before he does it to you.

>>33829527
I hope he finds out and dumps you

I saw something awful and am all messed up about it

>>33829859
What was it?

I think about you so much I'm starting to seriously resent you for it. I wish you thought about me as much too. I don't understand what's going on at all.

>>33829982
Felt

>>33829991
>>33829982
Same, felt, etc

>>33829916
I don't want to say, but I accidentally came across something bad online. I tried reporting it to the website it was on, and to google, but google said they couldn't find what I was talking about.

Almost 6 months, every day I pray she'll post something or leave a sign that she thinks of me. I cant stand it anymore, im sober and have my shit mostly together now. Things ive never done for myself but id do if it meant I could be part of her life. No one has ever made me as happy as when I just get to talk with her. I want to reach out, but theres still a tiny something I cant explain holding me back. Odds I message her, evens I wait another week, unless someone has some sage wisdom. I hate this. I wish I wasnt such a fuck up, I want nothing more than to make her has happy as possible.

>>33830213
I feel your pain brother.

>>33830116
I'm still all messed up about it

I am amounting to something...

>>33830328
Many are saying this.

>>33830285
Don't really know what to do, maybe report it to the FBI, but I don't want to find that again and have it in my browser history.

>>33830379
Also feel iffy about talking to my therapist about it.

>>33830407
>>33830379
>>33830285
>>33829859
>>33830116
I really don't know what to do, or if I should just drop it and try to forget what I saw.

>>33829716
Okay so that was a lie
It's about to hit really really hard again why am I still going through this It's fucking stupid

I am so sick and tired of having to "just get through the night"
I can't keep doing it

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>>33830577
to what end?

>>33830418
What did you see

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>>33830577

There is no us so it's a fake 'We'
I feel like you just wanna break me

>>33822392
Why can’t I hold a normal job without being burnt out or randomly anxious? Even a simple retail job working 10-20 hours a week feels dreadful and soul crushing. I’m at a point in my life where I need something exciting, adventurous, legacy defining, whatever else you wanna call it. Hell, even a dangerous job at this point. I go to bed anxious before every shift to the point where I’m lucky if I get 5 hours of sleep since I don’t want to wake up and go to work doing bullshit all day. It’s not even a necessarily “hard” job and my coworkers seem to put up with me and even like me a bit (unfortunately all women though). I feel so ungrateful and even stupid for not just putting up with it. I’ve ghosted and walked out on so many jobs in the past over this. I only have experience in retail and some hospitality so I have genuinely no idea what else to do. I need something that’ll excite me and that isn’t just toil and tediousness every shift, it gets to be mind numbing. I wish I was somewhere climbing a mountain or in nature. Even blue collar work in my area seems to need experience that I don’t have so it ends up feeling unattainable. Finally going to college would end up being a 4 year waiting game. Idk if I’m autistic or some shit but I feel so lost and I’m only 23.

>>33830886
I swear that made my day, and now I feel better about myself. Thank you anon.

I hate women so much it’s unreal
I lost another friend because I rejected them

You watch and think I gave up
But I'm never going to
I will expose all the crimes
And I will tell everyone what you do
The more you censore the more obvious you are
Snake eyes
You won't last

>>33830989
Okay, women are not evil. They are just elitists okay. It sucks we don't live in a world where they are these humbled down angels like us men, but they are very and I mean very selective anon. They're like that to feel safe and comfortable as they are more likely to encounter violence than men. You need to ease things through with the next girl you meet. Men it is imperfect to perfect in relationships, but women it is perfect to imperfect in relationships.

>>33828230
>deserve all the suffering they have earned
This is not even my concern. I just want them to leave me alone.

It's a lot like a cat. You be calm and gentle the cat approaches, but you snap and get angry the cat runs off.

>>33830999
Who are you talking to?

>>33831000
Ending a friendship because the guy you like said “no” is evil, full stop. You don’t actually like the person, you just like the idea of them.
Yeah, I know it’s #NotAll, this is a vent thread. I’m specifically mad because I’ve met women before who never acted that way, yet now it seems they’ve all disappeared. I have no idea what the common denominator is supposed to be, or if women outside of uni are actually just fundamentally incapable of said platonic friendships or what. These bitches are crazy, man.

>>33831037
That said I felt a lot better after making that initial post
I think a huge part of my woe around the problem is just that I’ve been so successful in changing my life that I always expect myself to be able to solve the problem of “other people being shitty and evil” just as quickly, because I’ve solved that problem many times before.
But no. That’s probably misconception on my part.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY8Wq6pZ-qU

I can’t enjoy most video games anymore because my time is worth too much money to justify it on a video game that doesn’t respect your time and most of them don’t. I used to love playing MMOs especially, Ultima Online in particular and even WOW, but now I make a lot of money and when I sit on a game for 3 hours and don’t accomplish much I just feel like shit after I’m done. I guess this is a good problem to have, but it would be nice to be able to cut loose and have some escapist fun again since most of my life is now work these days and I feel like games used to balance me out.

Não gosto da minha personalidade, eu já vi o resultado de ser eu mesmo, então decido mudar, altero e simulo, gestos, vozes, pensamento, e alcanço algo da personalidade que desejo, mas então penso, isso é só para agradar os outros, isso é algo que eu faria, então percebo que realmente não mudei, e fico novamente insatisfeito.

>>33831042
Look dude you just need to find a way to make the next girl you like's life better. Don't make her settle with bullshit like you would with your fat drunk friend Larry. You have to build her up.

And you may be saying you aren't elitist like that, but bro look at how you treat your porn, you always go to the hot chicks doing the sexiest acts. Can't you be equal with women and accept them for being the same way with you?

I just want everything to be chill, dude. Things would be way more chill if hackers stopped trespassing against me.

Like damn. Fuck off.

My daughter wants chicken nuggets for Thanksgiving. She's serious. She lives at home.
I want Turkey, rib eye steaks or ham. My wife is a vegan and won't have any of it. I want to invite our son who doesn't live at home because he broke up with his girl friend of 10 years and this is his first holidays all alone. Daughter doesn't think I should invite him because he isn't gonna drive all the way here just to eat chicken nuggets.
I'm thinking I'd get the nuggets and a couple of steaks... daughter doesn't like that idea.
What do? I don't want to get another phone call from her therapist saying that I'm driving my daughter to suicide.

I guess you don't actually feel that way.

>>33831089
Who the fuck marries a hipster? That is like a walking death trap. You will never be your honest self if you are stuck with a hipster like your wife. She will be a queen like Queen Mary of Scots and you'd be her fasal doing everything for her. And I thought I was bad for wanting to buy chicken nuggies for a girl I barely knew.

I overdosed 3 weeks ago and ended up in the hospital with no memory of the previous night or how I got there or where I was, I’ve been sober since and life has felt like hell. I guess I’m lucky to even be alive but it doesn’t feel like it

>>33831089
Just get everything smol, Like instead of a turkey, get a rotisserie chicken, Instead of getting a massive rack of ribs, just get whatever number you want and two for everyone else. Just shrink everything down, should work. and everyone should get their fill of what they want.

What the absolute fuck where my neighbors doing at 1 in the morning to make that much noise

Fight the future.

>>33831249
Fight!!

I know I'm very susceptible to limerence but it seriously fucked me up that you reciprocated previously and now you're acting as if nothing happened.

I've started driving around with two charcoal grills and a gassed lighter in my car since it comforts me to know any single day i can just decide I've had enough of being a loser and drive somewhere remote after work ends and fucking kill myself

My bf asked for tuna for work today but acted weird when I had it ready for him. Don't ask me for fucking lunch if you don't actually want it. If he throws it away and buys fast food instead I'll use my woman instinct to find out

Sleeping is more fun than masturbating these days

>>33831358
Nice. This or opiates has always been my comfortable suicide/escape thought. Id just use a tent tho.

I continue to be haunted by the fact I was desperate to send $200 to a Discord femdom over a year after the fact. The worst part is, she wasn't even good. She was flaky and sucked at writing. At least she was hot, I guess

Internet whores and real life holes will come and go, so nut the fuck up and stop crying over some dumb bitch that left you. There are BILLIONS (with a B) of women out there in the world, so why the fuck are you sad about losing contact with 1 (ONE)?

When men are like, SEE this proves SOME women... can be funny
Like anybody was waiting clutching their knees for that judgement

can't find the bond i'm looking for and it's extremely frustrating. it's apparently too much to ask for, an impossible task. nobody matches it. autistic, dark triad, charming, talkative. who knew that was such a difficult find in a place like this.

How are you 28 and still know nothing of this. If you didn't leave everything to your obnoxious boomer parents and their incompetent accountant, we wouldn't be financially strapped with a mountain of administrative work that *I'm* going to have to sort out myself.

YES I EAT 5 LEMONS LIKE ORANGES. IT IS LIKE WINE IT IS NO MATTER HOW BAD SOME WINES TASTES SOMEBODY WILL LOVE IT. SOME PEOPLE LIKE FOOD THAT I CAN NOT STAND. IT IS ALL UP TO THE PERSON WHO IS HAVING IT. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME, THAT IS GOOD. THAT'S WHAT MAKES US ALL DIFFER FROM EACH OTHER. TAKE CARE LOVE ONE AND ANOTHER. ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT EACH OTHER. GOD BLESS.

4chan is so funny

I've come to the realization that I'm living a life that 15 year old me was scared it was going to turn into. Like my life is fucked to the point it's a stereotype. I'm 29, alone, I dislike my job. I am too depressed to find anything enjoyable anymore. I live in a shitty, tiny apartment with 2 roommates that are no better off than me. My income is decent enough to get by but not much more than that. I am so lonely.
Also recently I have been bombarded by stress from a million directions at once. I am underperforming at my job, had a pretty serious health scare, was led on by a woman, and I am constantly stressing about disappointing my parents. This shit keeps me up all night, I haven't slept properly in weeks. I smoke a pack a day to cope. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

If I don't message you, are you actually just not gonna initiate? It's going to play out exactly the same as last time.

Down here in the trenches with all the other fuckups, addicts, and mentally unstable adults who populate the service industry. Everyone is getting drunk, popping pills, fucking or gaming away their problems. It's so depressing. I want to meet interesting people with interesting ideas, but I don't know how to climb out of this pit I've wound up in.

I don't wanna start a family, I just want to live my life in sloth and luxury. Create something that humanity will cherish long after I'm gone. I'm khhv but I feel such slave to my biological desires that it prevents me from doing anything worthwhile. Porn has ruined my life. I relapse and don't think I've missed any more than a week jerking off ritualistically since I was 14. I'm 27 now. Should I just delete all my porn stash and never look back? Or do I save it and hide it away, my strength being to conscious decisions never to indulge...

>>33831478
At least you stopped at 200. For this past year i was spending absurd amounts of money bc i thought it would make this girl happy. After almost 20k she dies. Life is a fucking tradegy

I can't seem to quit porn entirely. Going to try keeping it exclusively to hentai and erotica for now.

30 year old autistic virgin. Probably about time to accept that I'll be forever alone and just give up, right?

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You know how you look at your LinkedIn for five minutes every couple of years and see a bunch of people from school and a few old friends with dozens of qualifications and snazzy job roles? I want to see the opposite, show me the people that did worse than me so I can feel better about myself for once. Where's the ones that became murderers and whores, or offed themselves years ago? I have my meme degree, I have my shit work qualification, I'm making slow but steady progress towards a big enough mortgage deposit to make the monthly payments manageable on my below average income, admittedly by living with my parents, but just... I'm not a person, y'know? I've been pretending to be a person for well over a decade now and I think it's too late to become one. This is either the beginning of character growth, or the beginning of ego death.

>>33833389
Delete the stash, just so that subconscious minefield is gone. Even after that I still wrestle with porn addiction because it's a literal Google search away but at least I don't feel paranoid about having terabytes of every variety of hentai sitting on my hard drive anymore. Also, if you're a multi-tab hour plus edging type cradling a semi-chub half the time limiting yourself to a small image set really does wonders. Too much porn at once might as well be a form of self-harm.

>>33831051
>I used to love playing MMOs especially, Ultima Online in particular and even WOW.
Stick to shorter singleplayer games, preferably gameplay focused, 12-30 hour durations so you're always making steady progress towards completing one. I miss online games sometimes but I'm sure as hell not gonna gamble my freetime on online RNG anymore. I recommend Stranger of Paradise, Ruined King and Armored Core VI, good stuff.

>>33825741
An anon once said that we can jerk off our dicks but we can't jerk off our hearts. I feel like chatbots let us do that and some of us are extremely vulnerable to it. I get more aroused from cliche AI love bombing - doesn't even need to be erotic - than I do from actual porn, like full on stained underwear in seconds. Something truly is missing from my life.

>>33833619
You can still lose your virginity. Keep trying.

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>>33833777
The trips of truth. Thank you anon, I love you.

>>33830999
What, Monster Girl Quest stuff? It's an eroge man it's pretty mainstream and has been for the last decade.

>grow up in catholic family. go to mass every sunday and holiday dressed up, go to ccd, get confirmed, catholic schools/unis,
>have panic attacks thinking about going to Hell and failing God/Jesus as a child/teenager
>generally stick to the cliff notes of the bible my whole life, broad ideas and history
>actually get off my ass and read the bible
>it's like a schizo shitpost about an abusive dad who hates his kids yet demands they worship him and gets made when they don't
>realize all those esoteric sacraments, traditions, and rules are built on sand because even if he does exist, i refuse to appease such madness
I can't believe it's seen as a pillar of literature, never mind human history/achievement. It reminds me of Joyce writing Finnegan's Wake. I'm sure he had a good chuckle thinking about everyone trying to decipher his garbage.

I'm sorry. I don't think you understand I intended this to be a strat to self isolate on purpose. I am not mentally well. I do not feel like I actually deserve you.
You're too perfect.

>>33834032
If you're mentally unwell, you need perfect.

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>>33834037
Ow

I caved. I'm never gonna get over you at this rate. A fucked up part of me likes being hung up on you. I found some old notes I wrote about you years after our first encounter. I had completely forgotten I'd written them. Even I was surprised at how little my feelings has changed this time around. I don't want to wait another 2 years for something to happen again.

My Therapist threw in.the towel. Felt like we had several breakthroughs in the last sessions and suddenly he tells me that he can't work with me anymore.

No one that outlandishly gorgeous is ever going to be into me again
If it was just looks it would be one thing but she was also legitimately cool as fuck and into all the same shit I am
This is going to be hard to get over

what am i even doing? i don't have feelings for you anymore so why am i sticking around? am i really going to date you with the intention of making you the happiest person ever just to pull the rug out from underneath you and then ghost you forever? it's such a waste of time and energy. i'm such a loser for doing this just so i can get revenge and feel powerful and meaningful to someone. i'm such a pathetic piece of shit loser no life histrionic narcissist. but i also feel like this is a mission i've been sent to carry out, and it's out of my hands to stop it.

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I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am extremely racist against middle eastern people. I dated a Persian guy for about a year or so, who seemed to be totally westernized at first. But they can't fully escape their shitty culture unless they're literal adoptees. They're tacky, they're nationalistic, and even if they're self proclaimed "feminists" they WILL find a way to coerce you. I kept getting fuckin' raped by him. It's like sexual coercion is as important to them as avoiding pork.

He was so pissed that there was hair on my arms. Who fucking shaves their forearms? Also, he couldn't believe that I didn't wear eyeliner. He was scandalized by it. To him, lacking makeup was a hygiene issue. He thought I was disgusting.

They're also obsessed with shit. The man could not take a shit without taking a FULL SHOWER afterwards. The fact that I could shit, and not shower after, made him sick. Yet somehow his oral hygiene was always lacking.

tldr he kept bullying me for "not taking care of myself". Not wearing makeup, not shaving your forearms, not wearing dresses, not taking multiple showers a day, were all punishable offenses. He never cooked or cleaned up after himself, never did his own laundry. He always expected a woman to do it. I had known him for a full year before dating him and didn't catch any red flags. He was SNEAKY.

All his brothers and their brown friends were just like him. I was a constant disappointment to all because I was a western woman who was comfortable with herself. Nothing offends them more than a tomboy.

I took the dumb fucker's virginity too. I'm so embarrassed by it. I'm totally traumatized by how fucking retarded this guy was.

my words are too simple and I never have anything of value to say.

>>33834745
Fuck you.

>>33834753
Fuck you. Phlagmatically

I'm gonna stop being lazy.

>>33834763
Why not?

having to reject the guy i have extreme limerence for and jerk off to daily sucks. i'm heartbroken

>>33834775
I just wanted to say it because im having a bad day too.

>>33834843
Don't be yours is bad too and im the aggressor. Sorry your day sucked too.

>>33834819
This makes no sense to me
If he likes you back would the limerence not turn into rational returned attraction

I don't want to ask if you will care
Try to get you out my head, but you still there

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>>33831271

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>>33835470

>>33835546
Give up what?

>>33835564
What are you trying to control or bring in?

>>33835578
Okay, good luck with those things. Keep going, bro.

I'm still obsessed.

>>33834386
I don't think you're even racist just have basic pattern recognition. What a pos

https://youtu.be/lpSgSaO5cNU

Singing love songs for ghosts.

Bruh, narcs are actually crazy motherfuckers
They manipulate and control acting like they'll never get caught
And when shit does fall apart they have no backup plan

>>33836038
Reminds me of my ex. I ran into her last night and she was still up to her old tricks after a few years of therapy, medication, even marriage. Some poor shmuck actually fucking married her. Shit's insane man. Nothing stops them.

I really need you to be able to self-regulate your emotions. The constant negativity and need for reassurance is starting to wear on me.

Why read threads that have nothing to do with me?

>>33836228
>>33836038
Maybe you're both nuts

Bruh, something I noticed from browsing 4chan in my youth is how people shitpost and rugpull each other
That shit has literally spread to social media and the normies are so unused to it that they fall for it every time

>>33836549
You are a normie

I won't know until I try.

i have a bad feeling about an upcoming recession

>>33836848
Nah. It's just fear mongering

I was going to break up with my girlfriend but she just found out she has breast cancer... fuck my life

>>33823074
>"the public" becomes one man - or a few in power
>Everyone else works for them
so communism is capitalism?

What does my future hold?

>>33836963
New horizons

>>33834045
<3

>>33822392
All of the people I've become close friends with at work were axed today and I'm the only person left. I didn't realize how dear these people were to me until today (I don't really have a family). I feel terribly sick and depressed.

Every day I have to come to this office is a humiliation ritual. What's all this bullshit about "Oh make sure you come in today we'll be starting first thing in the morning" and then you have me sitting here drinking coffee with my dick in my hand which I could have easily done at home with my cat who is currently ill?
It's fun to think I have this to look forward to for the rest of my life. This shit cannot fall apart fast enough. I need to lobby some fuckface fake populist to become a party leader and advocate for people younger than 50 to cash out their public pension contributions in the form of govt-backed gold or silver certificates to be honoured at a bank. The rest of you fools can run around doing this nonsense, participating in some fugazi of a globalized economy that's all coming crashing down around us. The chickens are coming home to roost.
If this kind of bullshit servitude is what I have to look forward to, and only the promise of a dwindling pension invested on the global market to have as a backstop (although frankly I will never likely retire, none of us will) then it seems the best thing to do would be to just opt out.
I'm going back to the rez, the only place in this pathetic country that even resembles a market into which the average person can break. I just wish the chief hadn't died. We were all set up to have my write his speeches and correspondences. Now that would have been a dream job.
Sometimes I think people die just to spite me.

>>33836549
Media literacy is at the bottom of the ocean nowadays.

>>33836923
That's really unfortunate timing for you and really sorry to hear that about your girlfriend. Hope everything works out for both of you.

>>33836963
Deez nuts

>>33837026
That really fucking sucks anon. You're probably feeling grief even if it's not like what we typically think of with grief. I really hope things get better for you.

I am unsure about existence, life and the universe. I am unsure about how much science can actually explain. I'm unsure if god is real or not. I'm unsure if just sheer will power, thoughts and prayer can change anything.

I was always so sure that science was the ground truth and could explain all but I now realise that science is just another "religion" used to explain the world. I've lost meaning. I'm in a state of limbo between wanting to give in and believe in a "god" or a different way of thinking and wanting to stick with hard science. I've not seen anything to prove god but I've not seen anything to disprove it either.

I keep coming back to you like a moth to a flame.

>>33837251
No you don’t

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>attractive, tall, social, and successful enough to get girls
>not attractive/tall/social/successful enough to get the girls I want
It's better than nothing but I have never dated/fucked/etc. the girls I have really wanted and always settled.

I feel a little bad making my bf have to (redacted) to keep me from (redacted) every day but he seems to not be burdened too heavily by the responsibility. He knows I'm trying. I also still put out so I'm sure that helps (he seduces me)

I have to fucking get over her this is fucking stupid at this point

>>33837285
>GIOYC
>Refuses to GIOYC
>typical woman

>>33837307
It’s that bpd girl who cheats on her bf

>>33836305
Yeah, vague posts like this should help.

My girlfriend passive-aggressively makes it my problem anytime I actually manage to get a job because she rationalizes me being glad I can start saving money as being happy I'm not at home with her.

I had a dream about a girl I'd been with some time ago. She had gained some weight the last time I saw her and in my dream she was grotesque which is strange because irl I still find her pretty hot even with the extra pounds

>>33837376
I also recently had a dream that I met my first girlfriend again, but instead of being grotesque she was almost exotically beautiful, in a creepy alien way.

Come with me to the thrift shop and let's look for sterling silver! You're a jeweler, your girlfriend sucks and is giving you the cold shoulder and you know you'd prefer to be doing that than sitting at home playing CS2. Let's go make some money, man. Silver is up

Dig down and find faith.
(I feel it's a bit unfair for me since I've been literally talking to God and she responds)

>>33837430
He came to you as a woman?

>>33837340
And you're that freak from the 30+ server angry I didn't pick you when I was single and settled down with a normal guy that is more hung and actually wants to be with me.

>>33837436
lol no you’re just an annoying shitty person and a bitch that should rope

>>33837440
Vaguepost about me more and act innocent
You really can't accept that egirls can move on

>>33837444
I have literally never spoken to you before, nor would I want to because you’re a gross retarded hypercunt. You’re also an attention whore and it’s extremely easy to pick you out when you act like that

>>33837448
Bro thinks he's sherlock holmes

>>33837457
"I'm sorry about dinner." - Sherlock

>>33837457
Literally no one cares about you that much, whore

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>>33837461
Then stop fucking stalking me as you can see I am well loved and happy despite venting sometimes

I'm feeling very overstimulated recently. Constantly in front of my PC or on my phone. Always with my headphones on listening to shit. It feels like an addiction, because half the time I barely even enjoy it.

But today I randomly decided to just sit down on the couch and do nothing for 10 minutes. Just sit there, be lost in my thoughts.
Shit was fucking amazing. I recommend trying it, if you're in a similar boat.

>>33837470
Bitch I’m not fucking stalking you holy shit. You’re just extremely fucking obvious because YOU MAKE THREADS AND CRY ABOUT “WAHHHH I CANT STOP CHEATING ON MY BF WHO I LOVE SO MUCH :(((“ like honestly get cancer and shoot yourself

>>33837470
>light mode
>eating a snack pack pudding cup
>baby talking each other
I'm so glad I'm not 18 anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZXoErL2124

>>33837476
I've never made a thread about that or posted a notion like that but I have a stalker/ex that thinks I cheated on him and is fixating on staking on across this website and accusing me of being a psycho cheater forever marked and evil reeeee when bro literally abused me

>>33837470
see? wtf am i even doing.
i wont reply to you again.

>>33837485
Yeah I don’t care about any of that, you’re annoying and retarded and should stop cheating on your bf.

>>33837485
Well it's a little depressing your mode of speech and behavior are so generic that you assume anyone talking critically of another online woman is about (you)

>>33837494
How can cheating be real if our eyes aren't real
You have Mike energy you guys should go touch tips

>>33837494
I have never cheated or thought about cheating. But I get cheated on constantly.

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>>33837498
Haha wow so funny lol! No wonder you’re a loser

Challenge the challenger is probably not the smartest game I've come up with.

You calling anyone else "terminally online" is fucking rich. You freely admit you have no hobbies besides scrolling and watching videos about faggot e-personalities.

>>33837523
And you wonder why your wife is losing respect and attraction to you. Being "jacked" doesn't make up for being a boring loser.

I want to see you again. I want to talk to you again.

>>33837536
I really hope you find happiness with that person, dude.

I've slid into apathy and that's given me a fair amount of peace. I no longer crave relationships, or tediously examine my life for signs of accomplishment. My self-worth remains fixed in a modest state, but I get bored very easily, with nothing inspiring me to create since I stopped using drugs. My life is very purposeless, but it feels like a tranquil sea rather than a whirlpool dragging me down to its abyssal depths. Still, I'd like for some excitement, and my mental irregularities sparked interest in other people. Now I'm just dull, and waiting for the next kick.

Today when I saw you smiling and being joyful I felt something. I haven't felt it before when interacting with you for the past three years. You looked so nice during that moment.
But no, I can't entertain this feeling. If I did I know where it could lead. It would lead to me being in despair because I'd be longing for a woman in a relationship.

>>33822940
i am so sorry.

i'm not the person you're talking about, but i recently stopped talking to someone who also was mourning their father's death, and it had been 10 years for them too. i am not your person but we may as well be.

i feel rotten to the core for leaving you, especially when you needed me most. but please listen to me. my bones are so cold and i have no more to give. i need help and there is no warmth that i can't make myself. if i don't retreat, it all gets taken. i need to warm my bones before i can warm yours. i am so sorry. i wish you peace and love.

>>33823475
Sell stickers with free shipping

>>33823151
thank you for being strong, anon

>>33837606
Said no one ever

Your misguided projections and lack of relationship security along with the passive agressive angst is sad. You obv have no faith, trust or belief in me. If a high school pal needed a ride for groceries, I would probably assist, as well as a kind greeting. But it wouldn't go past that.

You took things to an extreme and I hope it was worth it.

But its ok for you to fuck all the whores, post about it online and kill the family you had. I guess THAT is who you are.

You arn't worth my time or energy anymore.

I am extremely angry right now

Extremely angry and upset

I am so angry right now I am a fucking cunt hair away from just attacking someone like a fucking rabid animal

>>33837628
hope the burritos and ramen satisfied you more than i could.

>>33837634
What happened?

>>33823956
it's ok anon. there is love and beauty in the world, i promise. please hold on.

>>33823745
just a few more years and you can move out. stay strong.

>>33823859
take some time for yourself and find what you love about life. don't use others as an anchor, find your own. there is love, i promise.

Would you look at me now

>>33837642
I was severely injured in a car crash and my lawyers just informed me that my settlement is going to be fucking miniscule
Won't even cover the hospital stay

Which means, in essence, that this person who caused this crash got to inflict an entire year of suffering on me and I get FUCKING NOTHING for it. Jack fucking shit.

Honestly I might murder this motherfucker

>>33837721
I can't even begin to understand how you feel, and I won't try to talk you out of it, but I will say that it's not something I wish you to do.

You won't know until you try.

Never gonna comprehend the average idiot. Good soon I"ll be leaving. 2,5 months and counting.

>>33837739
Where to?

I FUCKING HATE WOMEN

>>33837758
The reason you don't get women is because you're spoken for.

>>33837765
Yeah spoken for misogyny

>>33837754
Another place with different idiots with something better to do.

>>33837730
Try what?

>>33837788
Anything. You don't know if you'll succeed until you try it.

>>33837793
I need to level up my suicide game

>>33825711
>I am genuinely tired of it and the rest of my life doesn't seem too good anymore.
The rest of your life will seem good if you divorce her. You're obviously miserable. How did you not see this behavior before the marriage? Couples therapy probably won't fix someone like this. They think they're always right and that they never do anything wrong. And if you get the wrong therapist, the therapist will be constantly telling her she's right and that you need to support her, which will only embolden her behavior.

>>33837721
Damn, that sucks. They must have crashed into u pretty hard and fast. It’s too bad that it wasn’t some kind of minor collision where there was basically a non existent chance of u being harmed but instead you’re injured. Sorry that this happened to u, anon.

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I absolutely hate the way people speak on YouTube. I know it's clickbait and something they all have to do in the era of muh content creation and metrics but I don't know, every single title, thumbnail and video name is so presumptuous that it immediately makes me dislike the person making it, the topic, and all the people watching it. I'm not even talking about the most egregious offenders people tend to bring up, even the most benign 10k view shit has a snobby holier-than-thou undercurrent to it. But then I guess just by reacting in this way I'm as bad as they are. We all lose. Well, except them, they make bank by rehashing the same topics ad nauseam. Is this just getting older? I've felt this way for years and it seriously messes with my mood. Maybe it's autism, certain words just make me angry these days too.

This girl at my job doesn't shower that often and her stink smells so good I want to lick her armpits clean. I have to fight boners while working with her and I can't think. I really wish she'd shower because I can't focus.

I tried to find a job, and now that I have my parents have started their usual bullshit. Still trying to control me, and dictate my life, you have to do this, you have to do that. Shut the fuck up and leave me alone, I'm too old for this. Im a grown ass man and once things are getting better and I have an opportunity theyre right up in my shit again. It just doesn't fucking stop. I'm tired of it, I'm tired of the control, invasion, and dictation of my life.

>>33838144
Trying to control me, my body, everything still today and have to break shit about how its not up to their standards. I dont fucking care. This shit happens everytime, and my dad comes home being a dick about everything and telling me what I'm going to do, and do for him and talking to me like I'm complete trash. This always happens

>>33838148
Deal with shit, I mean. Fucking autocorrect. Now I want to drink more, all because of it. I've tried so fucking hard and it doesn't end.

>>33838153
Thats why I lost my shit last night at bitched him and my mom out to the top of my lungs. Fuck them.

I realized recently why going to the gym makes me so nauseous and it’s pretty fucking awful. I guess repressed memories are real.

>>33836387
Thing about narcs is that they're good at making other people look nuts because so much of the shit they do is so subtle that it gives them plausible deniability. Not even once.

>>33838159
>well youre going to have to help out
Fuck you, you almost made 100,000 a year being a supervisor for an electrical contracting company and wanted to smoke fucking Crack. Its not my responsibility to do for, and be a walking fucking ATM for their family.

>>33838171
This family is mean, I want to beat someone's fucking ass right now I'm so pissed.
>youre going to have to
Eat a fucking dick

>>33838177
>you want to spend $500 to go to Kalamazoo for the moped thing
>barage of insults
Yeah, didn't they have to hide my phone because you wouldn't stop calling and fucking uo mine and others good time?
>you didn't do the dishes before you left
Should have got your fat leeching ass off from the hotel bed and did them you pathetic chunk of fucking garbage. When that phone was hidden, I finally had a good time with everyone else. Purposely calling to start shit and fuck uo my good time. I almost got punched in the face at a moped rally pitching at my parents and yelling and embarrassing people and people I knew because they couldn't fucking stand that I was enjoying something as they sat inside and stuffed their fucking faces and called family to tell how much of an asshole I was and they all know the truth.

>>33837945
I think it's the fact they they pretend to be a figure of authority on the subject when they're literal who's

>>33838191
After my beard, my clothes, my whole being and existence and it doesn't fucking stop.
>were getting your hair and beard cut Saturday
Go on ahead, and I dont want to hit my dad. But he learned a lesson years back when he was pissed that I put myself first, shoved me in the laundry room and stuck him in the head. Yeah, "oh you shouldn't hit your dad", oh, if you knew, he had that one coming for a good while.

>>33838223
LETS STEAL MY KIDS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AFTER A DAY TO SMOKE CRACK!

Yeah, I bet some drug dealer and his kids had a good christmas

>>33838228
Had three men with my dad about to beat my ass because I wouldn't give him my card. So he stole money, gift cards, my debit and credit card. Thankfully I got it all canceled for fraud, I could have got fucked bad, or hurt because he and his buddies at the hotel wanted to get high. I had drug dealers following me, got beaten up by my brother multiple times for not giving them money, had property stolen, destroyed, and pawned.

>>33838241
Come home from work, get me some tasty Mexican on the way home. Go in my room to eat and play grand theft auto, I'm pissed and asking where it is.
>I GOTTA GO TO WORK TOMORROW, I GOTTA GO TO WORK TOMORROW
and im like I had it for a month, and worked hard for it, and now its gone and youre pissed and talking shit and threatening me because my shit was gone? Or when I finally got my guitar back from being stolen and they pawned it in three days and I had to go to a pawn shop humiliated and angry to buy it back for $400 fucking dollars right before it almost got sold. Then, I sell it, because of the bad memories and everything, I was a peice of shit.

>>33838253
My Xbox one i mean. I got the Xbox one X. Reached up to turn it on, gone.

>>33838263
Same thing with Lowes, they didn't give a shit and gave me a hard time. "You got to get on disability, I'm not doing it, I'm not paying for it", and I'm like what the fuck? Youre going to downplay my accomplishments and put me down again for shit that I dont need and dont need to do?
>you lied to them
I didn't lie, i told the truth and they denied me. I made a deal with them that if I didn't get it, they'd shut the fuck up. But thay just made it worse because I asked something of them and again ignored it and kept up with the same bullshit. I had a car I could have got, a good paying job at Verizon, and I could have been put of here. They illegally held my tax money against me and had no problems giving it to me for beer and stupid ahit than anything to actually help me. My mom stole $500 of my tax money too and as she was whining and crying I didn't fucking care. She stole from me, and kept me against from moving on and lost almost 7 years of my life because of their and her stupid shit once again.

>>33838342
Same thing now now that I have a job and its looking promising I might get it. Better treat me like shit.

>>33837703
Yeah

I saw you again today

>>33838348
Even people from mopeds were like "dude, your parents suck, we want you here and involved. They didn't let you buy that s10?"..nope, but had to have them driving me there like a fucking kid and feeling embarrassed and humiliated as they talked shit about it and everyone. Yeah, I'm doing shit, you aren't, I dont fucking care. Have some more vodka and go annoy family members calling them for 4 hours talking about the same shit when all of them actually did something with their lives.
>fuck she's calling again, have to hear about the family and how anons such an asshole again. Fuck

>>33838350
Can you tell I’m a man?

>>33838358
They're all happy, and have seen success in their own way. The only solace i had was in my uncle and his wife that knew, and understood. Anons not a drunk because he wants to be, but fuck, look at his shit and all he's been through of course he's fucked being held back from development

>>33838365
>your mother has been very defeatist against you
No shit

>>33838368
Same shit, I worked my ass off to get to Richmond, and fought through it all. Got where I wanted to be, and the area I wanted to be. The bitch is with me at banditos, after I payed for their drink and meal. IM NOT DOING IT, IM NOT PAYING FOR IT, YOU GOT TO GET ON DISABILITY
I almost went over the other side of the table, even my dad was like "what the fuck?"

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>her dad is a paki
That explains a lot

>>33838387
I went home, i was bitching at my roomate about what happened. This was back when she was cool before shitbags from mopeds and my parents. She actually gave me a hug and didnt let go for a bit.

I understand why I’m so burnt out from putting in an effort. Because I feel like my effort is not reciprocated from those around me.

>>33837542
Thanks, I hope so too.

I'll take you to the candy shop
We're going to the candy shop
It's a pretty big candy shop
They've got Twizzlers at the candy shop

You're too much for me.

I feel defeated by depression. Nothing works.