/adv/ - How do you cope with an absent father? - Advice

Anonymous

How do you cope with an absent(...) 10/21/25(Tue)05:46:22 No.33835950

File: 1758826497031622.jpg (22 KB, 399x501)

How do you cope with an absent father? Anonymous 10/21/25(Tue)05:46:22 No.33835950 Archived

I'm not fatherless but my father is your typical boomer oblivious to everything. He is a workaholic and basically thinks being a father is just giving your son a bit of money and talking to him a couple times with the most bland shit, nothing at all short dialogue.

I've tried to have a relationship with him but he is so dense and all my efforts fall into a broken sac. I feel like I'm both the father and the son in the relationship and I have to teach him instead of the other way around. My father never taught me anything and he thinks I was born learned or something, most of the basic shit a father is supposed to teach a son I learned by Google and YouTube videos. I have no memories of my father as a kid, he never did any activities with me or helped me with school or anything at all in my childhood, and it has fucked me up to my 20's, I'm so insecure and in need of love that I can't take the step to adulthood and everything seems fake, and I can see he hasn't changed and that coldness is still there.

How can I cope with this? I'm tired of feeling like shit, it's not like I can birth a new father from a vat.

Anonymous
10/21/25(Tue)06:12:00 No.33835978

Anonymous 10/21/25(Tue)06:12:00 No.33835978

Bump

Anonymous
10/21/25(Tue)06:35:39 No.33836007

Anonymous 10/21/25(Tue)06:35:39 No.33836007

The only thing you can do with an estranged father is get his side of the story

Anonymous
10/21/25(Tue)06:43:19 No.33836016

Anonymous 10/21/25(Tue)06:43:19 No.33836016

nothing. there is nothing you can do. my dad is a good dad, but he never taught me anything. in fact he prevented me from learning things because I don't do anything right and I need to let him show me how to do it (cooking, fixing the bicycle, putting groceries in the fridge, whatever) properly.

moving out the house was not as liberating as I thought it would be, he still brought me some food he found on discount from times to times (which I had to finish before it goes bad, giving me stress and making me fat) and I had to rely on his money when I was in college.

when I finally got my job, now that was the big change that I have waited for.

I don't blame him, he was working on a ship when I was born, he never learned how to teach/raise kids. I am glad he goes outside with my own children now, but I would never expect him to teach them how to read or something