Y’all idk what’s wrong with me… I may very well be a certified schizo but who knows don’t have courage to go to a doctor to find that out not that it would help me at all.I am a very troubled person my early 20’s were riddled with drug use, falling in and out of love at light speed with these random women, and trying to pursue a bachelors degree in som cool. I had like a mental break and all of that stopped. I moved back in with my dad who does not like me and never left the house except to buy weed and DoorDash to earn money to buy weed.Fast forward to today and I like to think I managed to built something somewhat nice out of that wreckage. Got a wife and a full time job but I feel like I’m going crazy. Every little thing sets me off and I gotta go to bed or just to non verbal my poor wife is miserable idk what to do. This morning I had a dream about this girl Molly I met a while ago. Always had a little bit of a crush on her but never pursued it in anyway I only knew her for a short time through mutual friends. She was not a primary player in the comedy of my life by any means I barely think about her at all. Kinda forgot she existed until I had this dream this morning about her it was so real we had gotten married had a life it was all so real and I woke up to realize it wasn’t true and felt dread. Like I had just watched a loved one die. This girl means nothing to me she didn’t do me wrong we barely spoke when we did know each other why do I feel this way? I have a wife who I love so much why do I feel this way about this random person out of nowhere??I just wanna be normal I wanna cope without doing drugs what do you guys do as fellow schizos? I need something to change idk what else I can do
