I am am early 30s M, WFH job, marriedI always envisioned myself being above the rat race. Surely I'm smarter than to end up in some boring job all of my life putting up with bullshit. But as of late I fear I'm ending up in that very situation, and I find myself both apathetic and miserable with my existence. I feel like the dad in the movie Coraline, who was successful in an "interesting" job, relatively wealthy, wife and kid etc, but no capacity for joy left in his heart. Incredible things happen around me and I feel nothing but the dread of returning to a menial existence. The few friends I have left are always busy, and reaching out to people comes with this fear like I'm asking too much for someone to take time out of their day to see me. I escape into "cool" hobbies but in a way that's just an excuse to further isolate myself. I'm getting irritable with my wife who is far from perfect but does a lot to make the home nice and try to cheer me up.I don't know, I'm just fucking tired. I go to the gym 3x a week and I'm even heavily involved at my church. I am afraid I cannot escape this iron necklace of apathy and despair and I will die having lived a life of wasted opportunity.Yet despite all that, I cannot help but think I still have time to change course. How do I get over my fear and invite the beauty of life into my soul once more?
you need to make that wife of yours pregnant. my kids gave me the meaning in life that was always missing
>>33837168That's life. You live, plant your seed, die. Just like plants that bloom at spring... they drop their seeds and die before winter. Your job in this world was fullfilled so there is nothing to chase anymore.
>>33837208I suspect that is a big reason. Many fathers in my family / cohort have too little time to worry about finding meaning because it found them.>>33837249Whatever floats your boat, but I'm not interested in the nihilistic faggot olympics anymore, I want to exert my will to change things. Back to the depths with you.
>>33837331Have kids or express yourself beyond writing books or helping people. I can't really help you, brother, wish you luck
>>33837331Again, it's just life. A normal biological process seen in every living thing on this planet. Not my opinion. But if you want to attach and chase an invisible carrot in front of you, then by all means go ahead.
>>33837365As opposed to doing what exactly? You are proposing no practical alternative.
>>33837418That's the point, there is none. You'll just keep finding gimmicky hobby after gimmicky hobby to keep you going, but deep down it's going to be the same. Perhaps you could try joining the Freemasons. I feel like this could give you a new purpose and re-ignite that internal spark.
Obviously have kids if you have no other ambitions in life. Maybe the next generation can do something more worthy than you
