I have had a chronic condition for as long as I can remember. It has caused many other issues, such as weekly anxiety attacks, digestive problems, stiff movement, vision issues, tension in my entire body, tinnitus, chronic fatigue, POTS, headaches, brain fog, the grip strength of a 70 year old, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It culminated in me almost dying from sepsis about 3 years ago.I’ve spent years and tens of thousands of dollars to try to fix the issue, from mental health, physical therapy, dieticians, clean eating, weight lifting, walking/running, you name it. A couple of months ago I was finally able to get a general idea of what is causing these issues, it is most likely extremely tight pelvic muscles from birth, which caused my back to compress my spine, which caused a cascading effect throughout most of the muscles in my body, from my head to my toes.Since starting to treat the issue a lot of my symptoms have greatly improved, but I have a feeling of regret and dread in the pit of my stomach. What triggered it all was realizing that I could have approached a girl that has been very kind to me online for the past 10 years or so, but I was not in the condition to do it. I’m all but certain she’s taken. It caused me to think about everything I’ve missed out on. I’m just shy of 36. I have had no relationships, never worked, dropped out of college 15 years ago from the anxiety, just video games, anime, and weird hentai as hobbies, and even then, as this condition worsened and worsened, I found myself enjoying those hobbies less and less.This is not even going into my family and school life, which went really poorly.I’m just not sure what to do, for years my goal was to fix this issue, but now that it’s fixed it feels as though I reached the peak, only to look down on my ruination. The only person I have in my life is my mother, who visits one day a week. I worked so hard only to be too lateSorry for rambling a bit.
god gives his silliest clowns the funniest jokesthe thing I learned about regret: life doesn't care, and it can always hit you harder
>>33837664Better l8 than never
