I am a Hapa in a Nordic country. Due to my upbringing here, I've always seen myself as just another one of the locals. After all, I do my duty as a citizen by working, paying taxes, abiding by the law, and completing military service.Yet, throughout my life, I've always felt... hated. Disliked. An outsider. Until now, I never really realized why I felt this way. Today, it truly hit me.It's just racism. I've had this cognitive dissonance growing up where I was just blind to it. When kids in school called me a chink or asked how many dogs I've eaten today, though they laughed and mocked at me, I laughed with them. I thought it was all bants. When I served in the army, things were even worse with physical abuse in addition to verbal. Even the staff joined in on it. I was never truly liked or trusted—I was just the funny chink. And I laughed with them.In professional work life, people don't say such things to my face anymore, for their livelihoods are on the line. So I thought that people at this stage of life grow out of it.So I was heartbroken to find out that some things never change. When the coworkers' mask slips it is made clear that I am not one of the guys, I am still a perpetual outsider. The dog-eating evil chink.I just want to be seen on an equal level with my countrymen, but I'm afraid this will never happen. I cannot even "go back to China", as I was born here and I don't even speak Chinese. And even if I got citizenship there, I would face similar issues. Still an outsider, this time I would be the European barbarian.I have no sense of community or belonging anywhere. I have no real home.Can I ever find a sense of belonging? If so, where and how? Even finding love seems fruitless with racial discrimination from both races.
>>33841245yeah racemixing sucks, no shit. I will never ever consider a brown or yellow schmuck as 'British' or 'Swedish' or whatever. When you people tell me this, I just snicker inside myself.t.eastern european balkanoid
>>33841262Yes... unfortunately, I was born.But what can I do about it? I am neither race. Both reject me as their own.
>>33841286We Wasians must build our homeland where we may live in peace.
>>33841286I don't know dude, that's a modern problem beyond my 20th century alkie mind to solve.Find a hapa community in sweden or something. Try learning Chinese language and culture? Accept yourself for who and what you are and do better than your parents.I shit you not, when I was a teen, my mother sat me down and said this verbatim'if you bring a shitskin or a jew/muslim home, we will disown and disinherit you, mark my words'so yeah
>>33841307me again btw, just not to seem like a downer and rain on your parade, I also feel like an outsider in my own country and have moved far away, becoming very alone and isolated.My problems weren't so much racial as they were cultural. I look like my people, but I can't stand them. They are awful alcoholics, liars, cheaters, and thieves, and I do NOT want to be associated with them. On the other hand, where I am now, locals view me as such because I come from said culture, ergo we are both excluded in the same way due to different reasons.Remember, most people have their own shit tl deal with and realistically don't think about you at all. I met a Chink girl who was born in Germany and had similar problems, and all I could ask her is how weird it is for her to not know any Chinese despite both her parents being 1st gen immigrants. I would definitively try. I speak 4 languages just due to necessity.
>>33841307Shitskin is a word in some Balkan language?
>>33841245There's nothing you can do. This whole race-mixing thing is pushed because it creates this exact feeling. It creates people with no sense of identity or belonging. Even if you're surrounded by HAPAs you'll still feel off all the time. This is what the elite want, and sadly you're a victim of it. Meanwhile, the elite themselves have been practicing incest for thousands of years just to keep their DNA clean. Jews too, only breed with other Jews and the closer the DNA to their partner, the better it is.
>>33841342every culture has epithets for everybody.funnily enough I even asked 'but what if I fall in love with an Asian girl?'get this>well then you can book a flight to Hanoi and cry to HER parents once she inevitably bleeds you dry
>>33841307Becoming fluent in Chinese and being immersed in their culture won't fix anything. To the Chinese, I'm not a pure Han. I'm still a mongrelmutt.Which, this reminds me of another bleak thing—no matter what, even if I do reproduce, my offspring will have it even worse. Breeding with a European or Asian girl will still be racemixing either way. Breeding with another Hapa will also just result in children with no identity.Yet I have my biological urges. The desire to build and raise a family.This is cursed.
>>33841420we all have them urges.I hate women so much it's unrealLove from Kazakhstan
>>33841420Aren't all Chinese crossbred anyway?
>>33841245Despite being 100% nordic in a nordic country I still don't fit in because I'm autistic. Considering how old my parents are it's a miracle I wasn't born with something even more debilitating. Your parents and my parents both gave us a disadvantageous starting point, but that is not our fault so we shouldn't be ashamed. When I was younger I had a friend who was mixed race and I still consider him one of the best people I've known. Maybe you don't care about my post but I hope it helps. >Can I ever find a sense of belonging? If so, where and how? Even finding love seems fruitless with racial discrimination from both races.Believe it or not there are people out there like myself who can appreciate others for who they are. There are many who dismiss and disregard others for superficial reasons I'm not denying that. If you don't have friends you can at the very least befriend yourself. You are the person you spend the most time with after all. Maybe this sounds lame, but I think it's the most important friendship to have. Also don't forget there are many others who feel lonely and friendless these days especially among gen Z. Don't beat yourself up over faults you didn't cause and make the best of it. Maybe you will be lucky enough to find a true friend or several maybe not. Maybe you will find a decent woman maybe not. Either way try to make the best of it. What more can you ask of someone?
>>33841420Despite that, there will still be people who at least like you. Cherrish them. Stop thinking about being an outsider an focus on your hopes and dreams. That can bring value to the world. That will erase the negative feeling of being isolated and it will turn into a positive feeling of being unique, special and superior to everybody around you.>t. mixed-race guy
