>Used to be a neet/incel until 23>Decided to get my life together>Went to college, got degree>Also got a gf at the ripe age of 26>Really happy for a while, knowing I'm not dying alone or a virgin>Time passes>Get to grad school>Living together with her now>The novelty has completely wore offNow I just want to be alone. In fact, I think I was happier when I was a neet incel. I do care about her, but I really don't know if I want to marry this woman. Other than watching anime, she's a total normie and mostly just spends time on twitter now. All she talks about is social media controversies, how men are horrible, how such and such literal who said something racist online, etc. I can't stand it. I want to play guitar/video games and just read about random shit in my spare time. Instead I have to cook and clean and drive her around. Also somehow find the time to study for my master's on top of it all.I don't know how much of this is just me wanting to go back to my previous self or how real my grievances with her are. But I just can't accept that this is my life from now on. Forever, until I die. I feel like God has decided to punish me for wanting things that were never meant to me in the first place. I begged for a gf and for a woman, any woman, to notice me. The monkey paw curled and now my life is this absolute hell.What the fuck should I do? It's not like I can tell her all this shit. She wouldn't understand. It wouldn't make any sense from her perspective. And as annoying as she is, I still care about her. She's my first gf. But I just don't know what to do. Maybe I should just blow my brains out. Then I'll have some peace.
There are better women out there anon. Part of normie life is trying and failing to find that person. It is what it is, most people don’t get it on the first try I also have friends who have fallen down this constantly ragebaited by Reddit posts hole and it’s exhausting. Some kind of brain rot that makes them feel intelligent
>>33844913I know there are better women out there. I just find it impossibly difficult to break up with her, especially when she hasn't done anything so seriously wrong that it would warrant it. Like cheating or physically attacking me.
>All she talks about is social media controversies, how men are horribletime to throw her out.the good thing is, now you've got some practice, maturity. your attractiveness has gone up, and you'll be better at flirting/chasing.there's a very good chance your next gf will be an upgrade.
>>33844864Sounds like you found a girlfriend just for the sake of getting a girlfriend. If you were really in love your brain would release addictive endorphins every time you see her. And you would be so attracted to her you would feel a constant urge to mix your DNA with hers by making children. The fact this is not the case shows it's only an opportunistic relationship. So, evaluate your feelings and calculate your odds of ever finding another girlfriend and if so, the odds of her being better than the current one.
>>33845024I kind of don't care about getting another girlfriend. I think I'd prefer to be alone over the current situation. At least I'd have some peace of mind.You're right that I don't really love her in that sense. But I do care about her, more than I should maybe, to the point where I'm pushing through this because I don't want to break her heart. Shit fucking sucks right now, but I don't want to see her bawling her eyes out while she takes all her shit from my place. Ideally, I just wish she would forget about me and leave me herself.
>>33844864Stop larping. You're making up scenarios in your head. None of this is real.
>>33845080I wish I was larping
>>33844959Breaking up is super hard but stringing her and yourself along is worse
>>33844864>>33844913This is cope OP. Any girl you find is going to talk about shit you dont give a fuck about where you have to smile and pretend to be supportive. Any girl you find is going to require you to set time aside to tend to her needs. Driving places, making dates, being annoyed she doesnt care about managing the finances the same way you do, being annoyed she cares more about how the kitchen looks when guests come over instead of caring how efficiently you can utilize it so you can get back to optimizing your fucking life.Being alone means being able to manage your time as effectively as you want to. Being with someone else means when you are done your shower and ready to do the next thing, you have to wait for her slow ass to shower and do her makeup, and it's just enough time to keep you from getting invested in something else in the mean time like a game or a show and it just builds more resentment because you feel like you are wasting time. The only resource you will never get back. You spent a long time in your life being able to manage your own time. Now you can't stand prioritizing other people for a single second. I have been in this exact situation. Still am. Every gf I get the novelty wears off in 2 months and I get tired of going out on dates and just order takeout. I begrudgingly do all the bullshit boyfriend stuff just so I can get the sex. It fucking sucks. I try to be optimistic and tell myself caring about other people is a skill you can build with practice, just like how when you started going to the gym at first it fucking sucked and now you like it. But I can't tell you if it's true because it hasn't worked for me. It's all just labors of love. Maybe in a time of hyper realistic affordable AI powered sex dolls things could be different for people like us, but its too early to tell. I started to come to terms with the idea that I just need to cuck myself and stick to poly girls and escorts just so I can live my life on my own schedule
>>33844864It's possible to have a gf you actually enjoying talking to and share interests with. You're being basically a phony jerk, wasting your gfs time suppressing your utter contempt towards her, just because you just want a warm female body. I don't have any easy answers, but you really should break up. It'll be painful but, in the long run it's better to just rip the bandaid off.> I feel like God has decided to punish me for wanting things That's an unreasonable and melodramatic to line of thought to go down. The problem simply is you just stuck to the first girl willing to pay attention to you, and let issues fester and avoided communicating. You dug your own hole, fell into a common dysfunctional relationship pattern. I think it's common because as kids growing up, we all have to deal with annoying women and we're not allowed to criticize or leave, i.e. family members, teachers. We have no choice but sit and listen to them be stupid and annoying for hours, and just accept that's the way it is. But it should be different with your girlfriend. You should be able to say things like "Social media controversies seem petty and boring to me, lets talk about something else." I don't recommend you say that though, just break up. But early in a relationship you should be on the same page about that kind of thing. Listening to your partner discuss their interests shouldn't fill you with irritation and contempt, keep the bar higher for compatibility next time.On the other hand, maybe you just need more deep male friendships? When you have more relationships, you need less depth from your gf.
>>33845215Dude it's not just a "first girl to pay attention to you problem". I've dated 50+ women. Half of them I really liked. A handful of them I felt like were hand delivered to me from God they were so perfect and we were so compatible. It wears off. Always 100%. I really believe it's some kind of brain wiring gone fucked up from spending too much time alone as a kid/teenager.
>>33845213Not every girl is like that You just date personalityless girls because they’re hot and then get mad that they have no personality
>>33845269You sound like a whore. Some of us are normal and capable of love
>>33845215>You're being basically a phony jerk, wasting your gfs time suppressing your utter contempt towards her, just because you just want a warm female body.That's wrong though. I don't even enjoy sex with her anymore. Even hugging her gets me a kind of physical reaction where I just kind of want to get away. She's the one who's utterly obsessed with me and wants to marry me, for whatever fucking reason. I actually did try telling her the truth, twice actually, she just breaks down crying and then starts begging. To the point where I have to walk back on what I said and just take her back. Nothing changes though, I go back to this facade and the relationship still sucks. I don't think she even cares whether or not it's fake as long as we're together.
>>33844959I had a gf that I was physically addicted to. Constant endorphins and wanting to mix dna 24/7 and all that jazz. Still hated everything about her. We fought constantly. She cheated on me. I left and was grateful to be single again. Other girls were fun and nice, but it didn't feel like home. Couldn't stay away more than 3 months without begging to be with her again. Hated her again the very first date after reconnecting. Love is just chemicals that make you want to make babies. Relationships fucking suck.
>>33845299You shouldn’t let her treat you like that She should go be in a relationship with a guy who also doesn’t care about actual love. If you want love you should go seek it, and if you want solitude you should also get that. I think youd find someone much better just choosing what you want to do
>>33845312I had this with a guy. He is the definition of evil but I could not stop thinking about him and forgiving him. And there was another guy I genuinely loved and will probably love forever despite not being attracted to him, and I loved him so much that I started to find him hot. Weird
>>33845320>Treat you like thatLike what? She's like a broken puppy without a home. I don't even understand what she likes about me, but she attached herself to me and won't let go, even after telling her this relationship is a lie and it fucking sucks. It's also on me for not going through with it anyway the previous times, but it's really hard to watch someone you care about breaking down in front you, begging you not to leave them, while also reminding you of all the stupid shit you promised them and the moments we had together. Like that guy said, I don't want to mix my DNA with hers and all that I do is kind of from a place of self sacrifice, but I guess if I'm doing all this shit for her it must be because I care about her on some personal or platonic level. Maybe it would really be better for everyone involved if we went our separate ways, but she doesn't fucking understand that. She's dead set on marrying the ex incel who doesn't even love her, and I don't know how to get away from this.
>>33845352Most women are desperate for the social status of being in a relationship. If you have a job and look good, she won’t care if you guys actually like each other or not. She just wants the ring and the body. And of course you care about her, because you’re normal. But that doesn’t mean she’s allowed to manipulate you into staying with her when you are unhappy in the relationship. Some people are just genuinely stupid and don’t know what a relationship is actually supposed to be like. Of course she doesn’t want to lose you- you do everything she tells you to do. She wants control, even if she isn’t an outright master manipulator or abuser. She’s probably not even a bad person. She’s just in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.
>>33845368I don't think that's the case. She was actually with a dude when we met years ago. I thought it was kind of weird how despite this, she was always looking for me and wanting to do shit together. Turns out she didn't like him all that much and already had a crush on me back then. Her boyfriend knew and wanted her to stop talking to me, but I only found out about this later.Eventually she dumped him and we started dating like 2 months later. If she just wanted the relationship status, she would have stayed with that guy. I think she's just a weirdo and has a fetish for autistic virgins or something. She said her first boyfriend was also nerdy/awkward and was also a virgin, and she took some other dude's virginity before me as well.
>>33845322I miss you K
>>33844959>I just find it impossibly difficult to break up with her, especially when she hasn't done anything so seriously wrongthen you're still incel, plain and simple. women deserve no credit for simply not doing anything wrong. cut em loose early and often. you are causing your own suffering with your lack of ambition and embrace of cowardice
>>33845400So she’s a serial monogamist Still not very different from someone just wanting a relationship for a relationship. Also, if she was able to be in a relationship with a virgin guy she didn’t like before, whose to say she’s not doing it again with you? If she truly loved you she wouldn’t be incapable of hearing you out when you tell her you’re unhappy. She only cares about what she wants.
>>33845411Not me
>>33845418The previous guy was her 3rd or 4th boyfriend, I don't think it the virgin she talked about. But I also don't ask her shit like that because it's weird. It just seems like she has horrible taste in men and I happen to fit all the descriptors. But yeah it's true she doesn't give a fuck about how I feel over the whole thing, she just wants me to never leave her.
>>33845435>she doesn't give a fuck about how I feel over the whole thingSo you understand that now it doesn’t matter how she reacts to you doing what you want, right? She threw a fit every time you tried to leave, and now there is a precedent that you will cave every time she does it. It’s like dealing with a toddler
>>33845269It's called novelty. Men are wired for it as a sexual success mechanism. If you can get women easily, you tap into this part of your nature more. It's why men who watch a lot of porn or have a ton of sex have to get into freakier shit to get off or else it feels boring.
Well what now
either blow your brains out or get on antidepressants. your life is great man
>>33848063How is any of this great? I lost all of my freedom for a parody of a domestic life and a wife which I don't love and who will never give me children.>Just get on chemicals that permanently fuck up your brain and castrate you bro
>>33844864All the good looking women who would make great wives and mothers are taken in high school and college the latest. Whatever remains is taken shortly after they enter the workforce. There exist very few good looking (7 and above) women that are single and have a good heart, are modest, raised in a decent family, soft spoken and pretty. The window of opportunity when they are single is very very narrow. These are the 2% of women, the highest stock of females this wonderful creation can offer. If you don't frequent their circles or the events they attend you have no chance of meeting them. Women also don't go anywhere alone, so whatever hobbies women have or events they attend it is done with their husband or boyfriend and if they are single with their groups of friends.
