When I was in middle school I thought I'd be unique if I was asexual, so I adopted that into my personality and told people I'm aroace all through school until I graduated. It didn't really make me happy, I still felt attracted to guys, but it felt like I dodged a lot of the trouble other girls ended up in by just not getting involved with guys and my grades ended up a lot better too.Now I'm in college and I've been doing the same thing, but there's this guy I like and I think he likes me, but there's this little part of me in the back of my brain screaming how I shouldn't sink my whole aroace identity for this guy.We've only spent time together in a group with some other friends so far, and I've been thinking about asking if he wants to go do something this weekend just me and him.Is it a bad idea to ask him out? My friends make fun of other women who make the first move and I don't think he'll do that since he knows I've told people I'm asexual.
>>33848249Stop telling people you're asexual because it is causing you these kind of problems and also no one cares. Second, yeah, ask him out, fuck your friends, they are having a crab bucket mentality, go out and get what you want
>>33848275this
>>33848249>When I was in middle school I thought I'd be unique if I was asexual, so I adopted that into my personalityyou aren't alone. this exploded last 20 years, but this was in the 90s too
>>33848275It matters to me some, though. It feels like showing that I like a guy is admitting defeat. I sort of wanted to feel like I'm the kind of independent person who doesn't need a partner.
>>33848898you should be admitting defeat here; the "victory" conditions suck and admitting defeat actually directly materially benefits you."victory" in this case means just waking up as a slightly worse version of yourself every day for the rest of your life.
middle/high school is the place to experiment with identity. it's fine to decide that, actually, middle school you was fucking dumb, and you don't identify with that label anymore.this being said. recognize that this man will want to have sex with you and it will most likely cause problems if you never want sex
>>33848898it's not a contest. you aren't winning or losing by deciding you want to change yourself and grow.
