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>What is /htgwg/?
How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of them even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.

>What is /htgwg/ not?
These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard today, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, give up, or insist there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can pollute. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!

>How to ask for advice
Context is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.

>Resources and Books
https://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach)
https://pdfcoffee.com/318797392-mark-manson-models-2016pdf-4-pdf-free.html
https://archive.org/details/robert-glover-no-more-mr-nice-guy-id-353324692-size-612
https://www.youtube.com/@YourWingmam
https://www.doctornerdlove.com/blog/
https://pastebin.com/7U5Sdhwq (Leykis 101)
https://dokumen.pub/why-women-deserve-less-firstnbsped-1467978302-r-1917433.html
https://www.fantasticanachronism.com/p/how-to-be-good-at-dating
(new suggestions with working links are welcome)

REMEMBER: It's good to read and prepare, but don't overdo it. Get off this site: go learn and build up your social skills by meeting actual women in the real world.

Prev: >>33811573
>>
>>33850893
https://www.youtube.com/@hoe_math
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9YkHU0Vz-M
>>
>>33850917
+
https://thepowermoves.com/pimpology/
>>
i have my first date ever with a girl on sunday
should i compliment her looks?
just telling her she looks beautiful or pointing out a particular feature like her blue eyes?
also how do i greet her? is just hi enough? a handshake?
>>
what are some red flags to spot a slutty girl?
if she doesnt post slutty pics on social media, is it safe enough to determine she is not?
>>
>>33850946
You're overthinking it. Just try to have fun. Say whatever feels right.
>a handshake?
No
>>
>>33850971
lol
>>
>>33849407
Is this how ur supposed to navigate talking to women? Push for a date asap?
>>
>>33851134
Also, what's the deal with charm/compliments? I hear to avoid it but on the other hand, a lot of women idealize men who do just that. I don't understand.
>>
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>>33851193
>>
>>33851193
Literally where did you hear that you should avoid it?
>>33851209
Kek
>>
>>33851193
Like with all things balance, zero compliments = uninterested, too many = over eager and desperate
>>
I cold approached a girl on the train the other day, asking her about the weather, she kindly replied and smiled back.

Ok, I'm so lost, how am I supposed to progress from here?
>>
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Reminder that she expects you to hit on her.

Beautiful women don't fuck cowards.
>>
>>33851399
Can confirm I've only had one night stands with absolute Chad's anyone who looks and acts like a loser I don't fuck.
>>
>>33851347
I don’t know what’s excessive or too little honestly
>>
>>33850946
Bruh itll be fine. Get ready then look at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes and hype yourself up, blast your favorite music on the way there. Relax, give her a cheeky smirk when you walk up to her a give her a hug. Aside from that no amount of advice will really help your first date, you only learn this shit from experience and there will be awkward or weird moments. Just try and have fun, personally ive had better results going in with the mindset of just trying to genuinely get to know her, and if it doesnt work out, there WILL be a woman out of the 4 billion thag will like me. Good luck bro
>>
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>>33850946
>also how do i greet her? is just hi enough? a handshake?
>>
>>33851479
Overthinking it mate. Ask yourself this, is it genuine? Are you wanting to say shes cute or beautiful because you do, or because you think you need to compliment her? You know when someone is kissing your ass, so just dont do it. If the light hits her right and you think
>wow she looks really cute right now
Say it, otherwise stfu and dont lie to try and get her to like you
>>
Be real with me, how much does living with you mom, having no car, working in retail, and having no degree negatively impact your dating experience as a man?
>>
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>girl I've been fucking texted me to cancel plans
>immediate relief that I get to stay home and jack off

It's too late for me isn't it bros
>>
>>33851666
Less than you’d think in getting a girl.
>>
How do I find a hot cool girl who loves me when I'm a dickhead artist/programmer with delusions of grandeur?
I either act asocial and strange, overly horny, or I act like an insincere simp
I can't balance myself
>>
>>33851839
You sure? What about having all of that in you mid 20s?
>>
I hate dating apps, how do I meet women in the first place?
>>
>>33852396
Coffee shops, ask if you can sit with them and then pretend to read your book for a while. Then see if they want to answer questions about their activities or current life situation
>>
I saw the pole behind her head and immediately thought of troonjak holy geggerald
>>
What does it typically mean when you text a girl who has shown interests and has flirted with me and I've flirted with her, clear and obvious signs that we're both into each other, but, she never texts me and when I do text her she usually leaves me hanging dry, and doesn't text me back ever? Is this just a hook up to her or what? I'm fine with that either way but I just want to be sure.
>>
>>33852589
It means she doesnt want to text you. Which could mean that she doesnt find you interesting actually or It could mean that she hates texting in general. Probably ask her on a date next time you see her irl
>>
I may be out of it or probably imagining it from lack of sleep and being stressed, but I could swear some girl is sitting closer to me and eyeing me during class. I might even be confusing her with someone else.
If I talk to her, it might be weird as I think I'm twice her age.
>>
>Have this problem of falling in love with the first girl I go on a date with
>Happens this time too
>Except after a few weeks she breaks it off
>A bit annoyed, but not as much as usual
>Even if I'm only dating someone I'll never date anyone else just out of respect for them
>This time I'm talking to another 4-5 women and plan on dating all of them
>Sometimes I think it's the best option and sometimes I have to wrestle with the guilt

How do I stop being such a pussy? I know that if I settle on one it's not going to last and I'll have blown my chances with the others. At least that's the way I justify it. But I just know by dating all of them one of them is going to really like me and I'll go straight into "settle" mode whether I like them a lot or not.
I don't really have it in me to say "Yeah I think you're cool but not what I'm looking for" because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...although they probably couldn't give a shit anyway and will just move straight on to someone else.
So to repeat, how do I stop being such a pussy?
>>
>>33852589
You're a backup plan
>>
broke up with my long term gf in june
since then I met one really extremely my type girl by cold approaching her
made it to three dates, ahd sex twice with her
but then she ghosted me
at the same time a girl my age I was seeing like three or four times and had sex three times
but I messed that one up a bit

but other than that in the paast four months basically no success
my dating apps have dried up
the girls im matching with are uglier and uglier
no point

Need to get buffer, need to get richer
or what
I guess I'll keep cold approaching
>>
>>33852589
She just wants an orbiter. Many such cases.
Cease all contact.
>t. been there before. Currently talking to a girl, that was flirting irl, and she replies to the texts immediately and set up a date right away. When girls want it, they don't play cat and mouse dumb games.
>>
Any Hinge chads here? I matched with someone, but no messages will send. I've restarted the app, signed out and in, even deleted it and they still won't send.
I haven't been unmatched because then all of the messages and the match disappears. It's only happening with this one account though.
>>
I'm 22 and went on a date with a 27 year old Asian women last night and it went well and we have a second date planned for next week, which is a while but I have two questions. Is that age gap weird, I don't really think it is because Asians don't really age but other people might think it's weird, and the second question is what do I do in the meantime? Do I text her to check in every once in a while or what?
>>
>>33854667
not weird, me and my wife are both 37. I have grey hair already, she as an Asian has not. when I met her, I thought I am the older one. if you stay together make sure to make babies before 35. if you scheduled the date, sure, just relax.
>>
>>33850893
>friendly, pretty face
>big booba

Man, that's like my ideal girl right there. Jealous of whoever got to sit there and take that photo.
>>
Would it be weird for a 31 year old to ask my 22 year old Coworker out? We get along great, and we occasionally text outside work. She's mentioned to me that she'd date an older guy up 10 years older in idle conversation, which seemed sort of weird to me. We've never actually hung outside of work, though. I am worried she just sees me as a "work boyfriend".
>>
>>33850946
Kiss her on both cheeks and a 5 second hug my nigga
>>
>>33854667
A 5 year gap is honestly the max where it feels natural. More than that starts feeling weird and anything over 7-8 years is honestly fucked up. But that's my opinion, so idk

As for what you do in the meantime, text her fun shit, don't be a boring cunt.
Don't just hit her with "how's your day" all the fucking time, be fun, be different, make a call back to your date to show you listened, try to make inside jokes with her, etc.
>>
>>33854908
Nigga she basically said she's open to dating you. Yes it's weird as fuck you being almost 10 years older, but you're both adults so who gives a shit

Send this bitch a text message RIGHT FUCKING NOW to plan something. If you don't do it right fucking now you're a faggot gay ass nigger.

Do it and update us. Now.
>>
I'm trying to get an otaku/femcel woman. She is a friend if a friend.

She tries to mimic anime and chose either tsundere or yandere as her personality.

What would you recommend in trying to get her to like me?

I was thinking about being very forward, that I know about her behavior and I want to encourage her.

She plays Wild Rift and I play LoL on PC, so I know we may have compatible kinds of autism.

I want to know more about otaku culture and what to expect. You can ask me anything, I want to be as honest as possible with her and here too.
>>
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>>33853989
>>33852615
>>33853900
Forgot to mention a few details.

1. We have a ten year age gap, she's 18, I'm 28. She has made mentions before that it was crazy we're so far apart in years and I always reply with "Yeah, so?" And she just laughs.

2. She approaches me with a smile and maintains strong eye contact, always gets super close to me whenever she wants to talk, isn't she about putting her face real close to mine, we've touched hands and she didn't pull back so I know she doesn't mind proximity or touching.

3. She's a Jehovah's witness, I'm not, the Jehovah's church pretty much shuns anyone who dates an "outsider".

4. She was abandoned by her dad when she was younger so she has daddy issues hence why she's into a much older guy. But I've been there and done that.

Thoughts? I just want to make sure what I'm getting into, from the looks of it she's just going to treat me like a "sneaky link" or whatever considering if her church finds out she'd get shunned or excommunicated.
>>
>>33855356
*isn't shy about putting her face close to mine

fucking autocorrect
>>
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>>33850893
I think if I don't somehow force myself to change then it'll be hard or impossible for anyone to like me. My mentor and friends think I need to "just be myself" but I don't know how trustworthy their counsel is considering I'm still a virgin at 24 it have no close friends. Should I just give up and an hero?
>>
>>33855356
Sounds like a bad idea honestly. Walk away
>>
Every time I’m flirting with a girl I start getting engorged.
>>
>>33855511
In what way? I don't think the JW church is exactly the vengeful type.
>>
>>33854667
I'm dating someone 14 years younger than me and before that I was dating someone 14 years older. I couldn't give a crud who thinks it's weird. I'm concerned with how much of a good time one person is having - me.
>>
>>33853969
>Keep cold approaching
This is the way. I started today. I was allowed to leave either after 3 approaches or I spent 30 minutes looking for someone I found attractive. I ended up only making two approaches and missing two because I wasn't mentally prepared for approaching a group or just bitching out. Got one Instagram and the other had a boyfriend.

It will only get easier with time. Soon, I'll be at the point where I can approach like it's second nature to some random chick when I wasn't even planning to go out for that reason. I didn't die. It wasn't hard. I just have to put in work to get better at it.

>Need to get buffer and get richer
Yeah, but only for yourself. Control of your mind is way more important. Rich buff dudes still get played by women. Kinda like how a short dude getting a leg lengthening surgery to fix his height doesn't fix his self esteem issues and he still fumbles while talking to girls. If being rich gets her wet, you don't want her anyway.
>>
I'm talking a hot normie chick and it's hilarious how narrow her emotional range is. She seems freaked out and just doesn't get the comments I share. Everything is "oh that's good, nice, awesome haha" and facts like "I ate this, then did this". Nothing deeper whatsoever. Maybe it takes time with her, but I might actually break it up because I can't be understood by this emotionally untraumatized woman.
>>
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>/htgwg/ btfo
>>
>>33856373
honestly, the successes from cold approach have led me to keep doing it.
but, they have never led to any long term thing for me
that's the next barrier I need to get through
problem is I'm 32 and nearing my peak of attractiveness, with no real prospects makes it a little nerve wracking
like I imagine myself in a couple years having to chase 30 year old women
jesus that would be awful

i only have access to young women for maybe 3 years max
gotta lock the fuck in
>>
>>33856685
>problem is I'm 32 and nearing my peak of attractiveness,
If you stay healthy, our peak is in our 40s. You have way more time than you think because you're only just starting.
>like I imagine myself in a couple years having to chase 30 year old women
Incorrect. I know a super average dude with a beer belly who's 56 with a woman 18 years his junior. Pumped 2 kids into her too. Married for over 5 years. Women naturally prefer older men, so the only thing that makes you too old is thinking that you're too old. I'm sure you know that lack of self confidence leaks into everything: the way you walk, speak, eye contact, etc. Don't sell yourself short. Those 20 year old dudes don't have shit on a fit 36 year old who's attractive, can fuck well *and* actually has accomplishments and resources.

How long have you been cold approaching? I've been gliding by dealing with women in my immediate vicinity (work and friends) but that's not sustainable. So I literally just started today.
>>
>>33856708
>56 with a woman 18 years
imagine the IQ disparity
>>
>be me
>22, KHHV, uni student, unemployed, but been approached every single time I've gone out to clubs/bars
>not really attracted to women, I prefer EA girls
>have my first physical touch in said Asian country but didn't slay due to high inhib
>really want to go back, I can afford it but I'm just too frugal
>still don't know what to do, I think my lack of experience with girls and life in general just holds me back constantly
>>
>>33856834
more info, i have like 10 girls i've met either on tinder or IRL that've said they want to meet or re-meet when I return, I just want to get this feeling of loneliness out of my system so I can finally focus on life and live like a normal fucking man
>>
Do I just give up if I’m autistic/weird
I go on meetup groups and chat to women and try to be friendly but it just doesn’t stick and they’re always just polite and nice but then sort of drift off and end up talking to other people and seem naturally more friendly around them.
>>
>>33856844
I feel really stiff, and detached from reality in general, and I actually used to be much more social unadjusted. I'm just starting to realize finding women and talking to a woman with the intention of being more than friends is expected.
>>
>>33856844
Start exercising your cold approach muscle. >>33856373
>>
>>33856882
Where do you recommend a NEET-esque go to approach women? I don't like clubs here because they're sort of dangerous
>>
>>33856928
Appearance wise, I'm around 14% bodyfat, 5'10, some muscle, pale, long hair but not a typical white since I have dark eyes and hair. I don't consider myself attractive so everytime a girl has shown me interest it's left me quite surprised.
>>
>>33856928
I literally just started going to Target today. That or walmart would be a good place. Then you can move on to higher end places if you want.
>>33856934
>I don't consider myself attractive so everytime a girl has shown me interest it's left me quite surprised.
This is your biggest problem. Confidence is a huge part of your attractiveness. This is why fat/ugly dudes still get women. There's something still appealing about them. Maybe they're funny. Or they style their clothes well and smell good. Maybe he's big but muscular and makes her feel safe. Women consider the whole package when looking at men. This is also why short dudes still pull women. So you've got to get it through your head that you're not unattractive. You've been given evidence proving otherwise. You have to learn to control your mind and realize that your physical body is just used to certain feelings, releasing certain chemicals caused by certain thought-paths. And it likes to remain where it's comfortable / familiar. So part of mending this is doing shit anyway. Acting like you're attractive even though your body likes feeling as though you aren't. Over time the body gets used to the feeling of attractiveness and you progress forward.
>>
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>>33856955
Thanks, man, that sort of makes sense, I'm kind of a stubborn person while being a perfectionist so I can get in pretty bad ruts. So far, I've been talking to girls on my Instagram that I share mutuals with, this is how I've gotten all of my previous dates so far, they've all lead to nothing but I suppose IRL is the next step.
>>
>>33857026
IRL is the next step but I have a few pointers.

First (because of your pic): You can have a minimal amount of light conversation through text, but never idle text (texting with no set purpose). All that does is exhaust things to talk about on the date. And by having a set purpose I mean:
>Setting a date
>Meeting at her place
>Getting her to do something
If there isn't a set purpose, keep the texting to a minimum. Say she texts randomly asking how you're doing
>Hey, I'm good! But ngl, I have a lot of work right now. We should meet up at x soon and I can tell you about it.
One thing about women: they will talk to you all day and it doesn't mean shit. I know of a dude who met a girl at a park and talked to her for AN HOUR thinking they were hitting it off. He asked for her number at the end and she goes
>I like talking to you, but I have a boyfriend.
Don't exhaust your attention on a chick without getting anything. They thrive on masculine attention. Conserve it while being polite.

Second: Drop the perfectionist bullshit. Nothing is life is perfect. You aren't. I'm not. Nothing is. You'll get further in life if you accept that and move forward despite not having perfect conditions than you will waiting for perfect conditions and effectively never doing anything substantive.

Would you rather have an imperfect opportunity now or no opportunity tomorrow?

One book I just started that I think will help you is "How to make a few Billion Dollars" by Brad Jacobs. It's less than $20 on amazon. The whole first chapter is on how to recondition your mind to be successful in life. It can be applied to anything; not just business. Trust me. It will really help. If Brad used these techniques to create multiple multi-billion dollar companies, you can use it to build confidence and get women.
>>
Maybe you guys can give me some advice.

>37 (good genetics has most people guessing I'm early to mid 20's)
>5'11"
>Fit, workout, run, have six-pack
>Full head of hair, no receding
>Attractive, good jawline and facial structure
>low 6 figure WFH job
>Stylish dresser.... I have good taste

The Cons:
>Introvert, socially autistic
>No family, no friends, no social network (I'm as atomized an individual you'll ever find)
>Only ever had one girlfriend (ended 2 years ago)
>No experience with approaching women

Should I try dating apps, or simply focus on IRL? From what I've read, many seem to say that the apps are awful and can damage confidence. Is this true or are people simply being bitter? If IRL is the preferred path, what would be a good way to start?

Appreciated in advance.
>>
>>33857188
Do IRL. Apps truly are horrible. Take the graphs in pic related. The left two are short term and the right two are long term. Men judge women accurately on a bell curve no matter how long they've known them. However women judge more harshly when they don't know you, but accurately when they get to know you. What does this practically mean? You'll get rejected by below average women on apps who would be completely invisible to you IRL.
>Introvert, socially autistic
This is solved by getting out and doing it anyway. Read my response here: >>33856955. The same shit applies to you, but regarding introversion and social acumen. I'm an introvert, but I approached 2 women today and got one instagram. Also asked a girl at a grocery store out last week and we tentatively have a date scheduled.
>No family, no friends, no social network (I'm as atomized an individual you'll ever find)
Means nothing. Cold approach on one end and get out doing hobbies to make friends on the other end.
>>No experience with approaching women
Easily solved by doing it anyway and learning from the inevitable mistakes. Everyone has and will be rejected. Even chads get rejected because not every woman likes every "chad". Kinda like how some men don't care about huge tits and others don't care about round ass. Some women legitimately prefer huskier men, for example. So exercising the muscle just makes it easier for when you do meet the woman who you like and likes you back. You should be keeping track of what women respond to you. That's your "Tribe". And over time, you'll learn to just approach that type and you'll get way more hits per approach. You should also look at the other advice i replied to from that same thread I linked to.


There's a good video by hoe_math explaining that chart btw. He made it. He also has a YouTube and explains male/female dynamics well.
https://www.tiktok.com/@hoe_math/video/7265825405293038891
>>
>>33857188
U should be good for dating apps, just make sure you show off your six pack (in a way that’s not forced like do a pic of y at the beach instead of gym selfie) and lie about your height and say ur 6’0
>>
>>33857249
Thanks for the advice anon. In your experience, which IRL places are best for meeting women? I know you mentioned the grocery store. Do you try bars at all, or are they not worth it?

Also, yeah I need to get out more to find friends as well. It's tough because I'm in a small town and also new to the area.
>>
>>33857249
So how did you strike up a conversation at a grocery store? The opening of the conversation/interraction is what baffles me.
>>
>>33857250
If I do decide to try apps, what is the meta? Like which apps are best for finding a quality relationship? I'm not interested in merely hookups.
>>
>>33857306
I can’t speak too much about the apps since I’m not attractive enough that they work for me, but in my experience
tinder seems like where hot sluts looking for hookups are
hinge seems to be the “it” app right now where you get all kinds of people, the women I know IRL on dating apps are all using hinge”
Bumble just seems to be the reject pile full of fat and fugly chicks and Asians trying to find a green card
>>
>>33857301
I'd like to know this as well. I'm not bad once I've been introduced to someone, but I have no idea how to just approach someone spontaneously.
>>
>>33857306
NTA but bro. Those apps are primarily *for* hookups. (Tinder, Hinge, etc). Imo apps are more difficult than IRL. The same 5 chick who would swipe against you on an app would give you a chance to shoot your shot irl.
>>33857294
>What are the best places for meeting women?
Optimally you'd meet them while doing something you like to do. For example if you were into cars, meeting one at a car show would be perfect. But it works the other way as well. If you don't go to bars often or really care for them, why would you look for women there? You're dealing with women who do shit you don't even like, lol. So the answer depends on you, but Grocery stores and similar places are good because that's something you have in *common*. Don't go to areas that are outside your interest zone, because you'll find women who...don't share interests.
>>33857301
>>33857345
I started the convo like this:
>Excuse me, but can I meet you?
That was it. Super simple. Kinda gets their attention because it's a weird way of phrasing it and they may ask "wait what?" and you'll explain "I wanted to get to know you." But it totally works. Then a template convo is:
>So what's your name?
>My name is Anon
>Are you from around here?
>Why Haven't I seen you here before?
>Oh, were you hiding from me?
>I just wanted to say hi because I thought you were pretty.
>Do you think I can put your number in my phone? I think I might want to meet up sometime.
I basically stole the script from a YouTuber named Gavin Leron. Unfortunately he mostly approaches older and fat women, lol. But that's because that's mostly what's in the stores at any given time. Its exactly what I saw when I went to target. Also he's only into black and latina girls. But the thing is, it helps get rid of your anxiety because it's legit pov and you can use his basic script on ANY chick. Over time you can edit it to fit your personality.
>>
>>33857396
How do u deal with this if the girls is creeped out or laughs at u and now u gonna worry of u see her in public again
>>
>>33857396
Seems pretty simple and generic, but it's good info to know that something like that works. I'm sure what matters more is the way you're delivering it.

Also, regarding the apps... that was my understanding too. Still I thought they might be worth a shot, if only to quell my curiosity of what I've been missing out on.
>>
>>33857453
What's worse anon.... a potential slight embarrassment, or being lonely the rest of your life?
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>>33857453
I don't because that doesn't happen. At worst, a girl will be afraid and inclined to reject in the most polite way possible. Also the liklihood that you'll organically see the same girl again is so rare it's not even worth thinking about. And even if she does, she definitely won't remember you. That girl that rejected me earlier saying she has a boyfriend doesn't even remember what I look like. This is "main character syndrome". You're important to YOU. Which is good. But you are NOT important to others. You don't remember the random 40 year old blonde lady you walked by yesterday. Same thing here.
>>33857460
>I'm sure what matters more is the way you're delivering it.
100%. It's confidence, eye contact, and speaking clearly. Also dressing well with good hygiene and self care.
>Also, regarding the apps... that was my understanding too. Still I thought they might be worth a shot, if only to quell my curiosity of what I've been missing out on.
Nah. You also gotta consider that it's literally a for-profit business. It's structured in a way to create long-term customers anon. Just pretend we're in the 1980s and meet girls irl like men have for thousands of years. It's tried and true.
>>33857471
>What's worse anon.... a potential slight embarrassment, or being lonely the rest of your life?
Exactly. And these women won't remember shit about you 1 hour later, lol.
>>
How do you get over not feeling attractive? I'm not the worst looking and at least I'm tall I guess but I'm not a fan of my face seems like I have bad skin, lots of blotches and moles. people say women care less about looks but I feel like it affects my confidence.
>>33857471
I mean for me it's like, I'm thinking of this girl at my gym who looks kinda awkward and nerdy but I think she's cute. Seems like most people at the gym just want to be left alone so if I go up to her and try and strike up a conversation it might go really badly and then I wouldn't want to go to the gym when I know she might be there, who even knows she might complain?
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>>33857498
> I'm thinking of this girl at my gym who looks kinda awkward and nerdy but I think she's cute.
You should be cold approaching random women you find attractive at a grocery store and getting experience before you take something like this on. You're way too in your head to pull that off right now. You'll fuck up simply because you think you'll fuck up, lol. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to build confidence and experience before going for this. But if you must, you should aim for just small talk with her and NOTHING more. Build up a rapport. Not to get her number, but just for experience talking to women. That way if she's not into it, you can just not talk to her anymore because you didn't take it *there*.
>How do you get over not feeling attractive?
See this response: >>33856955. That is how you start changing your reality.
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>>33857539
would it be good to start small and just make eye contact and smile? Or do I need to try and go right to approaching
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>>33857568
I'm sure this isn't the case, but whenever I hear someone saying smile at her, I think of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aI09Yu6tWQ It's only 16 seconds but funny as fuck.

I honestly don't know what to tell you because I don't know how you speak or interact with people. I would lean towards an approach and small talk when you cross paths while not exercising.
>>
>>33857586
>>33857568
But either way, you should be cold approaching in general anyways. There isn't ONE particular girl that you can't do without, anon. Put most of your energy into building a skill that's applicable to all women. Not just working up the courage and putting all your energy into talking to ONE.
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>>33857396
Interesting. Thank you! I would like some further insight/wisdom/techniques if you have the time to provide them. Help me get to your level.
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>>33857602
>Additional techniques
Read all my replies and stuff on that thread. It'll be obvious who's me because I always say the most shit lol.

As far as dealing with women I'll give you a few things.
1. Believe what they DO. Not what they say, unless it aligns with what they do. Newsflash: women can lie. Shocker, I know. But they can and will. But their actions do not. For example, take a woman who SAYS she values her relationship but constantly goes out clubbing in skimpy clothing and doesn't want her boyfriend to go with her. Does she actually value the relationship?
2. Most men, when dealing with women, project their idea of the perfect woman onto her. They take minor things as "signs" that she's perfect, or "the one" etc. They are blinded by their projected fantasy instead of seeing her as she is. For example, there was an anon earlier this week lamenting that he was "used" by a woman for sex. Meanwhile, he knew she was a slut before they fucked, she specifically TOLD him she wasn't looking for anything serious, she was on a year long trip across Europe (alone) and stayed at his place, fucking him for a month while she was in his country. He seriously asked "I wonder if she's done that before" even though it's obvious that's what she did the entire year, lmao.
3. Do not pretend to be something you're not to "impress" her. If you "perform" to get her, you must "perform" to keep her. It'll end either when you're tired of pretending or she discovers the lie. The key is finding a woman who likes you as yourself. You will need to change though. Meaning: confidence, backbone, the ability to tell her no, zero simping, calling her bullshit, being your own man with your own opinions regardless of what she thinks. Most dudes think agreeing with everything will make her like you. It actually turns them off. They can tell when you're bullshitting, but will be happy to take advantage and get free food and dates for a while.
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>>33857662
Please keep going. I am writing this down. I like reading so I was thinking bookshops might be the place to go after I get experience at grocery stores.
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>>33851374
You tell her a neat fact you learned about meteorology. It might be nerdy but it will help break the ice.
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>>33857679
>bookshops
Exactly. I guess I can come up with a few other things.

1. Expect failure. Get comfortable with that. But failures are opportunities to learn and get closer to your goal. For example: when i went to Target today, I learned that approaching immediately when I see someone interesting is important. Just do it. Otherwise you could lose the opportunity. I saw a girl that was my type but I walked past, tried to rehearse more then go back. She was gone. It's better to get rejected and gain experience than fail to execute and wonder "what if." At least you know you tried.

2. When dating, avoid dinner dates. It's hard to get to know someone when you're shoveling food down your throat. Start with a light date (tea coffee) where you can actually have a conversation and see if you like each-other. If she insists on a dinner date, she's likely just using you for food. If she doesn't care, it's a better sign. And as an extension: for future dates take her to do shit you already wanted to do anyway. For example, I like go karts. So I'll take her there. I like photography. So I'll give her one of my cameras and we'll go out and shoot some stuff. A woman who is interested will not care what the date is. A woman who isn't that interested won't want to go out unless she gets something out of it, like food or you spending money on her. Food is always a tangent to the date. Not the main date itself.

3. Many women these days are "acculturated prostitutes" meaning: a prostitute who is socially acceptable. They mainly take payment in time, energy, and (indirectly) money.

Money example: Food dates. Expensive dates. They don't like you, so you must make it worth their time to see you.
Energy example: Idle talking with no real point. Could even be sexting. Some will masturbate to it then not even fuck you, lol.
Time example: Asking you to do things for them.

Solution: don't put in more energy than they do. Match them.
>>
Look you all, just treat trying to get hot chicks as fun, not be so serious about it. Okay? Yeah it can be a serious thing, but look at it like this, everyday you go to a 7-11 to get a scratch ticket to scratch off, do you get irritated that most of the time you lose? No. You have fun. It is the same thing with getting women, and even keeping her okay? So stop getting so pissed at yourself when this dream girl of your's metaphorically throws a glass of water at you like had you been on a date. Focus on how good every moment was before and even after, and then just let it go staying positive still.
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>>33856601
>Maybe it takes time with her
Nah, some people are just shallow like that (or for some reason extremely unable to open up). I would move on in a situation like that as those superficial convos rub me the wrong way.
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>>33857301
Just gotta say something loud enough so that they can't ignore it. I either start with a relevant question or a lighthearted comment and get good responses.
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>>33850893
Man...I come to these threads and become inspired to attempt a cold approach but then I hear stories of guys being absolutely demolished and laughed at and ruined after being posted online and I just don't know what to think. I really don't. It just makes me sad. I don't know how to contend with the fact that I might die alone and unloved. It terrifies me. It feels like already being dead.
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>>33857077
Got it. I'm going to be honest, I'm familiar with these concepts because I began browsing r/TheRedPill at 12 then I moved on to the blackpill but I digress. I'm not sure where I turned the road and completely decided to forego all of the wisdom, so to speak, that I picked up but I will definitely begin to implement this now, anon, thank you.
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>>33858120
Just got home from my date with her.
she had nice thick strong muscular legs, but was very shallow. No depth to her conversations.

I'm not even gonna text her again. I'll go jack off
>>
>Some anons even get laid on this site
no they don't.
>>
How do I know if a girl is into me? To this day, I've never had a girlfriend.
>>
I had a rough break up about a year ago, I feel like I want to meet someone new at this point.
I have confidence and know how to talk with women, but I feel a little empty inside, I don't know how to explain.
Feels like I get uninterested too quickly even if I'm talking with a girl that I find highly attractive. I also catch a lot of girls looking at me at the gym, but I just can't find motivation to talk to them and maintain a conversation. How do I overcome this feeling?
>>
Recently, I've been told by people on this board and in this thread that if you're not getting women, you're not "confident" enough, you're "not being alpha"
So let's explore a case study. Pic related is Mizkif, an ex-boyfriend of the now famous streamer Emiru. Emiru is an attractive woman with a lot of clout, so high-status. To attract a high-status woman, a man has to be super high-status and therefore display all of these masculine traits. We already see from this picture he's the peak of male physicality, but let's also examine that personality that women and /htgwg/ is always harping on being more important than looks.
For our case in question, while he was with Emiru, Mizkif
>Threw objects at his girl's head
Is this "masculine poise?"
>immediately backtracks controversial comments with "just kidding"
Is this confidence?
>Whines and cries live on stream
Is this being alpha?
>Lets dumb thots contradict him and say nothing back
Is this being dominant?

Or maybe, is it that the "whining, moping incels" are right and women are actually just skullfucked and are pairing off with algorithm-brained peanuts heads just like they are, and are no longer selecting for actually masculine traits (tall, dark and handsome, quiet confident, reserved strength, standing by your word no matter what)?
No, they're just not being "man enough" I guess, we should start chucking our phone at our girlfriends' head and then threaten lawsuits and be on the verge of tears about it, making a big public stink.
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>>33859467
Assume she isn't until proven otherwise
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>>33859720
I mean, it's not like he's getting high quality women either, those 2 in the picture look like the most basic whores ever. If you're a good man, that's because you want the quality stuff, not this vapid shit that will jump on the next "popular" dick in weeks.
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>>33859768
My brother in Christ, "vapid shit" and "basic whores" describe 99% of women in the west these days who are 5/10 or above. They have no incentive, positive or negative, to reign in their behavior
>quality stuff
There is very much something to the "all the good women are taken" demoralization meme, all the "good women" my age are already on their 2nd or 3rd child. And even then, half of them will divorce anyway.
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>>33859785
>my age
Good! You found your problem, date below your age.
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>>33859800
Hot, quality college-aged or freshly graduated women want nothing to do with a crusty 30+ guy, they want twinks their age
>but I'm dating an 18 year old and I'm 35!
No one cares about the fat movie theater cashier you're plapjaking, I'm talking about real quality young women. Age gap paranoia has become fucking insane in the states
>>
Be hot enough
Be around them regularly
Have an easygoing unflappable attitude
Wait for them to do cartoonishly obvious things for your sexual attention, then fuck
Any further effort is not only deeply counterproductive but has a "crossing the picket line" effect on gender relations and the dating market as a whole
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>>33859823
>want nothing to do with a crusty 30+ guy
Holy shit you never leave your house do you?
I bet you're a neet loser, that's why they would indeed never care about you.
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>>33859850
>Holy shit you never leave your house do you?
LMAO that's the instant go-to
>You're a NEET, you're a loser, you don't go outside!
I live in one of the biggest college towns on the US west coast town and go out almost every week. I talk to college-age women all the time and shoot my shot. It never lands, ESPECIALLY if my age comes up because I always get mistaken for a college kid myself when I shave so they always ask if I'm a student.
>just lie about your age bro
Lying is for losers
pic related is a screenshot from my small business bank account I took the other day, how's your business doing? How much cash in the bank you got, loser?
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>>33859868
>this much insecurity
thanks for proving my point.
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>>33859883
>make baseless assumptions about someone he doesn't know
>gets shut down appropriately
>calls it insecurity
This is my problem, 90% of people including >(You) would be better off as mulch, and if I don't want to die alone, I have to interact with and tolerate someone even more thick-headed (a woman)
>>
Tips on attracting an extremely liberal man hating feminist who hates straight perverted men the most?
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>>33859938
Have even a fraction of a backbone and be visibly muscular and taller than her
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>>33859938
Beat her shit up in bed, they love that.
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>>33859938
Do not agree with her, ever, manhandle her.
These women literally want a father figure in their lives, be one, an agressive one.
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>>33859938
You’d be surprised what her deepest desires are. You can’t unwire biology.
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>>33859938
Is she already attracted to you?
If not there's nothing you can do. Here's an easy guide to tell
>Has she expressed real interest in you by going out of her way to try to get t know you, exchange contact info, or otherwise engage you?
If the answer is no, then she's not attracted to you. No, eye contact is not a sign of attraction, you actual basement dwellers
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>>33860160
What are the signs of attraction?
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How fucked am I if I'm fat? I'm like this pepe fat, but with a lot more muscle on the arms and legs
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>>33860173
I literally fucking greentexted them in that same post you bot
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>>33860181
That's not a sign of attraction
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>>33860160
>eye contact is not a sign of attraction
Depends on the type of eye contact and the context of the situation, if you're both casually chatting and you're both looking into each others eyes then yeah it's not necessarily attraction she's just conversing, if she randomly stares at you and doesn't break eye contact without saying anything then she clearly likes you. Not everything is as black and white as you're making it out to be.
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>>33860160
>eye contact is not a sign of attraction
retard
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>>33860200
>if she randomly stares at you and doesn't break eye contact without saying anything then she clearly likes you
Or, you could have a booger and it looks gross and she can't take her eyes away

I'm not trying to be some bitter incel, I speak from experience. I've had girls do the whole eye-contact, hair-flipping, coy smile shit to me too, and every time I go to shoot my shot it's
>"Oh I have a boyfriend"
>"Sure you can have my number" *Ghosted after first text*
>Connects on social media, leaves dm on read

The greatest sign of attraction is if a woman is trying to get into and stay in your orbit. After all my years of experience I brush off any other "indicators" you incels come up with.
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>>33860221
>she looked at me for 5 whole seconds bro, she's in love with me and wants my cock!
Pathetic and delulu
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>>33860191
How would you know, if you asked? You bot.
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Okay /htgwg/ what I realized is tinder and bumble is completely inefficient at getting women. Much better success with interpals but the problem with that is I dont want to always want to travel and go on dates. Is there any other app or SOMETHING like that where it's not a dating app (pay to play, whores only on there, and other bullshit) where you can contact girls and they will answer. I like the language exchange app dynamic because girls tend to be open for conversation for obvious reasons.
>better leads with language exchange apps
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>>33860228
You might have autism son.
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>>33860260
>son
I'm older than you

Let me give you an example from my life, from when I was in college (15 years ago)
>taking MWF lecture with girl I know, hot, glasses and big diddies
>She looks over at me every few minutes, maintaining gaze for several seconds
>Doesn't look away when I make eye contact
>During following weeks move locations in lecture hall often, her behavior is consistent, she isn't looking at the clock or door she's looking at me
>Get to know her a bit better, after a few weeks finally work up the courage to ask her out
>"Oh I'm sorry anon, I'm already seeing someone"
And no, I didn't miss my chance. I dug into it and she was dating that dude since the summer before the semester began. Honestly, YOU guys are being the autists, analyzing every little cue and "hint" to hype yourselves up and give yourselves false hope.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
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>>33860296
>And no, I didn't miss my chance
sure
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>>33860310
We're reaching INDIAN levels of delulu here
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>>33860223
>I've had girls do the whole eye-contact, hair-flipping, coy smile shit to me too, and every time I go to shoot my shot it's
Lmao probably because you're not as attractive as you think you are and have zero game, I've never had that problem, some women just like playing mind games and if you can play along then eventually she lets you hit. You probably hit them with a "hey you're really beautiful and I'd love to get to know you, we should exchange numbers!" like a lame goober, of course they'd reject you, hell I would too if I were a woman.
I've rizzed up girls with boyfriends multiple times and they always end up cheating on them, an autist like you wouldn't know how to maneuver in that situation because you have no social awareness. You're not even qualified to be in this thread giving advice to anyone since you're clearly jaded from being rejected so many times loser.
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>>33860367
What are some good openers and tips?
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>>33860367
That's some wonderful short fiction you've written
Now let me drop a statistical fact about men who are "successful with women"
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>>33860388
>posting dating graphs
certified loser, you idiots always reveal your incel tendencies sooner or later, stay mad.
>>33860387
Usually I start with a dumb joke, and if she giggles it's usually a sign she's open to a conversation and I just take it from there by asking her about herself, offering some small input about what I do, but always following it up by asking her about herself, women looooove talking about themselves, they also love when you let them vent about their trauma or whatever dumb drama she's got going on. But then again, if you're not attractive, nothings going to work. I've also dealt with situations where the girl acts interested and then she pulls away, this is a mind game, typically what I do is not say anything to her until she eventually caves and comes looking for my attention again, or, I go and talk to some other girl to let her know she's not as special as she thinks she is which typically brings her back down to reality.
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>>33860426
I mean, who's more of a loser, a guy who's building something and needs to step through the world carefully, or a guy who has time to fritter away and obviously nothing important to lose by possibly incurring other men's wrath.
Unrelated, but you ever see the movie Layer Cake? Great movie, I highly recommend you watch, all the through the ending.
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>>33860426
Good shit, I'm on the right track then, thanks for the tips friend!
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>>33860436
Not trying to incur anyones wrath but you're clearly jaded and bitter about women rejecting you and you're projecting all of those emotions onto hopeful anons on here who could have a shot with some girl and you're making them second guess themselves, it's scummy behavior.
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>>33860468
>anons on here who could have a shot with some girl and you're making them second guess themselves
They're gonna strike out 99% of the time and end up in the same place I am. They're better off waiting until they find women who have undeniable interest in them.
>scummy
looool I'm not gonna get called scummy by a homewrecker. I'll see you at the bottom of the layer cake, where all the dollops of shit belong.
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>>33860476
>They're gonna strike out 99% of the time and end up in the same place I am
You poor soul...
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>>33860482
Yeah, unlike your short fiction, the truth is painful and unpleasant, innit?
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>>33860492
That's YOUR truth my dude, I'm no Chad, but I've had the chance to have a relationship with multiple pretty girls, some of them I don't even believe I could pull them to this day.
The world is a giant place, chads are actually really really weak at everything beyond their appearances. If you aren't butt fucking ugly, you just need to dress well, smell well, get a nice haircut and stay fit. Know how to talk, how to joke, trust me, it isn't difficult at all, just try talking to girls without intention of fucking them, just try to see how long you can keep a conversation, how many times you can make her laugh.
Girls are no different from a retarded dudebro, you just need to know how to speak their language a little.
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>>33860476
>They're better off waiting until they find women who have undeniable interest in them.
Dumb advice, if you do this, you're never going to find a girl, women show interest yes, but they expect you to do 95% of the work in wooing them. The entire time they'll give you small signs like deep eye contact, smiling, proximity, it's all a courting game, the worst thing you can do during the early stages of meeting a girl is rushing all in and saying stuff like "You're beautiful" or "You're gorgeous" or just flat out asking her out in general, it just reeks of desperation.
>I'm not gonna get called scummy by a homewrecker
lmao what an idiot, most of the times the girl won't even tell you she has a boyfriend until after the fact. I've had girls literally rave about how their boyfriends love them so much and how they (the guy) will do anything for them, and immediately after they're done doing that, they start coming on to me and flirting like crazy, women are sluts, even if they show signs of interest and claim that they love you, they'll still cheat on you, grow up lil bro, that's just the way women are.
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>>33860512
>Dumb advice, if you do this, you're never going to find a girl, women show interest yes, but they expect you to do 95% of the work in wooing them.
Literally every single relationship I've had was either with women that I met on dating apps where the interest is mutual by design, or women that have all but thrown themselves at me. I've jut aged out of dating my preferred pool of women (21-25)
>they'll still cheat on you, grow up lil bro, that's just the way women are
Oh believe me I know, that's why I'm not doing any more LTRs. Even if they don't cheat they always have a backup plan.
Still doesn't make you any less scum, and you will get what you deserve one day. You're a piece of shit to your core and it WILL come back to haunt you when you're 40
>lil bro
I'm older than you, zoom-douche
>>
>>33860511
I never said anything about Chad redpill bullshit, and I've been in multiple relationships I'm not a KHHV
It's just amazing to me how trying to tell you morons "no, a girl holding eye contact for five seconds does NOT mean she wants to suck your dick" is triggering this fucking hornets from a wasp's nest response. It honestly looks to me like none of you have an actual fucking clue what you're doing, you're making shit up, and then getting mad when actual people who do go outside and fuck tell you things are different from your made-up bullshit.
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>>33860535
>I'm older
And with less experience.
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>>33860535
>ou're a piece of shit to your core and it WILL come back to haunt you when you're 40
Nah I'm done dealing with mentally ill sluts, I just recently met a religious trad girl and I'm planning on finally getting serious here. Enjoy being a jaded loser though.
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>>33860552
>I just recently met a religious trad girl and I'm planning on finally getting serious here
Well, there it is, she's gonna cheat on you and the cycle will be complete. Thanks for playing.
>>
I'm extremely cute, like Hollywood-level cute, and also short (5'8"). Most women I meet instantly want to become my friends, BUT they want to become literal friends, chatting with me, hugging, etc. But I'm actually a very sadistic, horny, and dominant man, so I'm thinking about getting a head tattoo and piercings so they stop looking at me that way. Is it worth it? Not a virgin, just tired of hearing this bullshit constantly.
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>>33860540
You said yourself my guy, your only experience with women os through tinder or if she really likes you from the get go.
You wouldn't know shit about flirting at all.
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>>33860582
He's too afraid to actually shoot his shot and would rather play it safe by just going after women who are attracted to him rather then going after girls he's attracted too. Sad state of events.
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>>33860552
>I'm planning on finally getting serious here.
Lol sure you are
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>>33860582
>>33860593
If you did something 100 times and always got the same result, would you do it 101 times just to be sure?
I mean fuck me man, the anons ITT are gonna figure it out themselves one way or another. You're the ones making up whole-cloth fiction or embellishing tales of plapjaking into fantasies about wooing models.
>>
>>33860616
>embellishing tales of plapjaking
Lol the last two girls I got with with were skinny blonde girls both aged 19, but sure buddy, keep coping.
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>>33860757
Wonderful fiction! You should take up creative writing.
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>>33856708
I’ve been doing it for 2 months
On and off sometimes before when I was younger but never really focused on it until now

Basically dating apps would be hard as an older man so much less volume
But I do feel that I do look much younger then my age
I’m just talking from a results so far respective
Realistically if I keep doing this it’ll take 1000 cold approaches before I get a gf probably since I’ve done over 300 now with only 1 real person going on multiple dates with me
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>>33860804
>If I can't get prime pussy neither can you!
Wonderful cope! You should take up self harm.
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>>33860807
>Realistically if I keep doing this it’ll take 1000 cold approaches before I get a gf probably since I’ve done over 300 now with only 1 real person going on multiple dates with me
What type of analytics are you doing though? You should be looking at what types of women respond to you in the first place. What type just talk and which escalate to even one date. If you're not getting very good results, you could try different looks. Maybe instead of X style of clothing, you try Y. Over time you build a profile of the type of woman who's attracted to you, what style you have that works on these women, and your hit rates increase because you're mostly just targeting that subset or "tribe" with variations based on how you present yourself if you want to be that granular.
>But I do feel that I do look much younger then my age
Women naturally prefer older men so you've got an advantage.
>>33860581
>Most women instantly want to become friends
Because you're acting like a friend. You should be expressing sexual interest much faster, that way the "friend" vibe is gone. If you don't want female friends, stop acting "friendly". Act like a dude who wants a girlfriend. Don't entertain idle talk. Make sexual banter involving yourself and the girl. You're likely being way too indirect and doing the whole "I'll be nice and friendly and over time things will grow into a relationship." No. Act like a dude who wants to fuck and date from the beginning. Either they're not into it and you don't waste time being "friends" or she's into it and you get to where you actually want to be faster.
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>>33860860
>Because you're acting like a friend. You should be expressing sexual interest much faster, that way the "friend" vibe is gone. If you don't want female friends, stop acting "friendly". Act like a dude who wants a girlfriend. Don't entertain idle talk. Make sexual banter involving yourself and the girl. You're likely being way too indirect and doing the whole "I'll be nice and friendly and over time things will grow into a relationship." No. Act like a dude who wants to fuck and date from the beginning. Either they're not into it and you don't waste time being "friends" or she's into it and you get to where you actually want to be faster.
For the sake of it, is there anyway to quantify what % of women will find you attractive enough to accept your advances? How would you go about calculating that. Aspie question, I know, but I'd like to know the odds behind everything and ways of improving my chance.
>>
Autistic here been texting a girl at work for 2 days now but literally only about books the entire time and I want to venture out topics wise but I have no idea what the fuck to bring up out of nowhere. It's been 3 days since we texted which is a problem what the fuck do I say out of the blue?
>>
>>33860886
>Is there any way to quantify what % of women will find you attractive
No offense, but do you know how to read minds? This isn't an equation you can work out on paper. Take a chill pill and just do it.
>>
>>33860889
Talking to a girl means absolutely nothing. They will talk to you because they like to talk. The objective is expressing sexual interest very soon and then either moving forward because she's interested or stopping communication because she's not and you didn't want a talking buddy to begin with.
>>
>>33860909
I would agree but it's a coworker so I don't want her to be a bitch and gossip about me or something and ruin my chances with the other women
>>
>>33860919
Yeah, but you're also not doing fuck all to get what you actually want either, lol. You're wasting time, acting like a friend, purposefully putting yourself in the friendzone then hoping you can somehow burrow your way out. Be polite, straightforward, and direct.
>Hey I think you're cool. I'd like to take you out sometime but no pressure, because I can just take someone else out instead.
Make it your own, but something like that. What you're currently doing really isn't a viable alternative.
>>
>>33860947
I already asked her out it's more of meetup as friends thing. I never really flirted. There is no way I can take it further right now without making it weird. If she touches my shoulder or some shit and gives me a hint I'll try it.
>>
What do you talk about to women on dates about? In all of my previous dates I've ran out of things to say. It takes me a bit of effort to try to think of topics to talk to a woman about.
>>
>>33860961
>I already asked her out it's more of meetup as friends thing.
Wasting your time doing things you don't want to do
>Hurr why am I in the friend zone when I did nothing but act like a friend??!!?!!
>I never really flirted.
Failure. Why not?
> There is no way I can take it further right now without making it weird.
Because you dug yourself too deep into a hole.
>If she touches my shoulder or some shit and gives me a hint I'll try it.
She won't.
1. You're already firmly a friend.
2. Women don't approach. They sort of put themselves in your way to get YOU to approach. If she gave you any "hints" as it were, you've already missed them.

Take it as a learning experience. Move on. Cold approach in public. Learn how to speak to women and indicate sexual interest. You can date women at work. But you basically need to do the exact opposite of everything you did in this situation.
>>
>>33860962
>What do you talk to women about?
The same things you talk to your bros about because women are humans. You talk to them like one. Or just ask them a few questions and let them keep going on and on, interjecting and adding to it. If you're the one having to constantly keep adding fuel to the conversation to keep it going, she's not really into you.
>>
>>33860988
I am extremely ugly so this doesn't really work. The only way I have got it to work is let them figure out I'm super smart and funny and then they become attracted. Only exception is I slept with a pretty Latina girl who came up to me and forced herself into a conversation with me and then asked me to leave with her. I don't understand how that was possible. Still dumbfounds me
>>
>>33861014
>I am extremely ugly so this doesn't really work.
False. You've slept with women, therefore you are attractive. You just need to focus on the right women. Stop putting yourself down when you have evidence to the contrary.
>The only way I have got it to work is let them figure out I'm super smart and funny and then they become attracted.
Or..you could proactively express your intelligence and comedy by learning how to speak with women and speed things along.
>I don't understand how that was possible. Still dumbfounds me
Because women aren't this nebulous / homogeneous blob. Different women like different things just like not all men care about ass and others are obsessed with the soles of feet. Your job is to find which women like you and capitalize instead of wasting time with
>I'm ugly even though I can sleep with women
You're wasting though processes on bullshit when you could be executing and winning.

Do better.
>>
>>33861038
So should I text this bitch or no? Just leave her alone until we meetup in 2 weeks. 2 weeks is a long time.
>>
>>33861063
That's up to you. You're the one who said you can't do shit without making it weird. I can't decide for you. All I've done is explain male/female dynamics a bit and critique your execution so far. it's on your to decide what's next. Peace.
>>
>>33861074
just gonna send her a picture of my cock
>>
>>33860859
The one or two times you barely managed to smash some ugly ass girl you're bragging about don't impress me, I've had plenty of ptp in the past it all just came to me. I'm like a decade older than you, zoom zoom, what you have yet to try I've already forgotten
>>
>>33860919
>>33860961
If you're afraid of getting a bad reputation at work for flirting with coworkers, then stop considering coworkers as romantic prospects
Maybe consider keeping your dick in your pants and not being like most brain-dead men who fuck anything they can and wonder why they have no money, have been fired twice and divorced three times
>>
>>33861201
I don't care about my reputation at work I care about my reputation with the women at work. I already got rejected by one girl. Just going to keep going down the line. So far this is the only girl at work that actually seems interested to talk to me outside of work
>>
>>33861193
>I'm like a decade older than you
And still a massive loser.
>I've had plenty of ptp in the past it all just came to me.
lmao so your "experience" is hookers lol
>>
>>33861231
they think youre a creepy whore and this reputation will only get worse the more you flirt and the further you go down the line. They 100% talk about you when youre not around and exchange stories of you being odd/warn each other to stay away. that girl showing 'interest' outside of work is probably just more timid and doesnt want to be mean to you out of fear of how itd effect her reputation. nothing will come out of this.
>>
>>33861231
Just don't be a creep and you'll be fine
>>33861321
You're a woman hating faggot. You probably haven't even spoken to a girl irl in the past 5 years. And no, your mom doesn't count.
>>
>>33861321
There is nothing I have done worth talking about. The first girl came up to me first and invited me to her MMA gym when she found we both did it. I asked for her number which she gave and she ended up ghosting me after i tried making light conversation about something other than the gym. Nothing to even tell people. This second girl has been nothing but excited and happy to talk to me. Laughs at all my jokes and continues to come up to talk me.
>>
>>33861386
Why haven't you just asked this girl on a date instead of wasting time talking about bullshit? Idle text gets you nowhere. That's the shit she does with her friends. Take action like a man. *That's* how you get a girlfriend.
>>
>>33861414
I asked her to meetup on text and she accepted and said she was really busy but she can in 2 weeks because she works full time + goes to school. I have no idea if the meetup is friendly or romantic I'll tell when it happens but the last text was about the meetup. So I have 2 weeks until I see her I feel like it's bad idea to leave the conversation dead for 2 weeks but I have no idea what the fuck to say out of the blue now on text that we already decided to meetup and that we haven't talked much on text
>>
>>33861427
>I have no idea if the meetup is friendly or romantic I'll tell when it happens but the last text was about the meetup.
Take this as a learning point but you should *always* EXPLICITLY ask for a date. For all you know she could want a date but isn't prioritizing this because she thinks you're just being friendly. Or you could just be wasting your time. Either way, there's nothing but positive and gain from being explicit. You either get what you want faster or save time from pursuing a dead end.
> I feel like it's bad idea to leave the conversation dead for 2 weeks
Don't. Idle talk over text just exhausts things to talk about on the date. Texting optimally shouldn't happen unless you have a specific goal like getting a date, meeting at her place, or getting her to do something. Otherwise you're basically doing the same thing she does with her girlfriends. Think about it this way: if you have a life and shit to do, would you be texting her constantly? No. Women want men that have shit to do. They know that if you revolve around them, you don't have shit else. That's not attractive.
>>
Anyone have success sliding into instagram dms? I see all these women with a 1k followers that I think I would have a chance with. How do you get the convo started? I have no pictures on my ig currently, but gonna make a photo dump soon.
>>
>>33861611
If you can't talk to a girl IRL, you can't slide into DMs. Build your muscle by grinding and leveling up with cold approaches irl.
>>
my rules for things to avoid on a first date
>protracted conversation about an ex gf
>protracted conversation about your mom
>impressions
>crypto investing
>esoteric theology
>protracted conversation about mental illness diagnoses

anything else?
>>
Do they ever come back if things were good?
>inb4 don’t bother just move on bro
Answer the fucking question instead or don’t
>>
>>33861685
I can talk to a girl irl, but I'm trying to get their attention online.

>>33862024
Idk
>>
>>33862158
Being able to hold a conversation with a girl IRL is different from approaching, getting numbers and setting dates. If you could do all those things IRL you wouldn't be asking how to do it on social media.
>>
I feel like I’m losing my mind and having mini panic attacks. I’m 28 and never had a girlfriend and all of a sudden I really want to find a partner and I feel so lonely. I feel like I’m just awkward and autistic and hard to get to know and I’ve gone to so many meetups and stuff and nothings worked out and I just feel panicked knowing it’s only a matter of time before I get old and gross or I start balding which could happen whenever. Everything takes so much effort and often I barely feel like I have energy to do more than just go to work and to the gym. Sometimes I just wonder if I was meant to die alone and that’s why it’s so hard for me to make friends especially female friends
. Fuck
>>
>be me
>mentally ill
>depressed and anxious all the time
>meet girl who is similarly fucked up
>instantly click and we start going out
>first time i felt loved in my entire life
>have a breakdown six months in
>nothing had happened, im just ill
>she blocks me, gets aggressive, never wants to see me again
>i get put in a psych ward for 2 weeks, overkill and the worst experience ive ever had
>after a month or so we talk again
>we rebuild the relationship slowly, i dont blame her
>we avoid making the same mistakes, we learn from each other
>9 months in, doing good, ocassionally fight but never to a breaking point
>we have a bad day together, mostly my fault, acted like a baby which made her mad
>we have a bad fight, however end the day on a good note before i leave
>things had been rocky the last week and a half, i had a couple of minor fuck ups which even if not major justifiably made her mad
>a couple of days later i have an attack like i used to, hadnt happened in forever
>get pushy through messages, i dont really have anyone else to talk about this, shes my support
>ask her for help, she gets aggresive and thinks i just want attention because shes mad
>we fight, same sequence again, tells me she will block me everywhere except dms for a week and then we will talk and see if we keep going
>tells me i manipulate her and dont care about her, even if im always trying to make her life easier since i know she struggles like me
>tells her family all I want is sex even though we barely ever have it, and i always ask if she actually wants to because she doesnt really have much of a libido, me neither
>now her family thinks im basically a psychotic rapist and wont let me back in her house
>she had promised she wouldnt leave again after i said i was scared of it
wtf do i do and whats gonna happen now?
>>
I get no replys on tinder sometimes matches with scammers and desperate trans. The fuck am i doing wrong when I do get a match with a girl they will just not reply to opening hello..

Also who joins tinder make friends?
>>
>>33855356
You’re a pedophile by her’s and society’s definition. You should leave her alone. An, yes, I’m talking from experience. Don’t pursue her if you know what’s good for you.
>>
>>33862423
fake story, but fix your mental issues before getting into a relationship and stop using other people as crutches to limp along. You don't deserve a relationship knowing you're fucked up and doing fuck all to solve it and be self sufficient.
>>
>>33862503
I've fucked around with 18 year olds before and didn't run into any problems since 18 is the age of consent, so I don't know what you're freaking out about. As far as society goes, I don't really care what they think. What I am curious about is your experience though, please share.
>>
>>33862426
You should be cold approaching IRL. Its a grind at first but that's mostly because you're building up experience and learning how to speak to them properly. But once you learn which women respond to you and how to approach well, your hit rate massively increases. Much better than using apps which are literally designed to make money
>>
>>33861842
Political anything
My go-to is to just offer milquetoast deflections about hot button issues, like
>Eh yeah I don't really care about Trump, sounds messed up though
If they really like you, you'll have them saying "nigger" inside of six months anyway
>>
>>33862523
Its not fake at all really, but thanks for the honest answer.
I know im really fucked up. I just wanted to know if I'm completely at fault.
>>
>>33862503
b8. It'd be one thing if she was like, 14 and he was 28. But 18 is fine, prime child-bearing age statistically.
>>33862525
NTA but IMO your bigger problem is she's fucked in the head. Either see if she'll smarten the fuck up and make an acceptable wife/long-term squeeze or cut ties for both of your sakes
>>
>>33862532
>Are you completely at fault
No, because it's not like you hid that you're mentally ill. But is it mostly your fault? Yes, because you're aware enough to know better. If you can't be self sufficient with your mental illness, you're purposefully putting the weight of your issues onto someone who doesn't truly know what the fuck they're getting into. Your mental state is YOUR responsibility. If you can't handle it, it's not fair to ask someone else to do it for you. They have no idea how heavy that burden is.
>>
>>33862529
GOOD AFTERNOON SAAAAAAAR HOW IS LUNCH IN MUMBAI YOU GET THE POO PLATE?
>>
>>33862540
I understand.
Ive been treating my shit for years now but i havent progressed much.
It was a mistake to think that because shes also fucked up that she would understand how to help.
Ill just hope its not the end.
>>
How do flirt politely?
need to find out if this chick at my work in single and interested without forcing it
>>
>>33862549
>It was a mistake to think that because shes also fucked up that she would understand how to help.
No. That just means you've got two fucked up people who don't know what they're doing, lol. You'd have been better off with a properly adjusted chick if that was your plan.
>Ill just hope its not the end.
It isn't. You just need to take control of your life. Look into alternative remedies because clearly the pharmaceutical system isn't doing shit for you. Be proactive in your quest to resolve your issues. If you truly do that you'll be fine and you can have a great relationship. Otherwise you'll stay exactly where you are. What will you choose, anon?
>>
>>33862562
Ill try to get better. I dont want this to be my life forever.
I mean im sort of better, im not suicidal at all, i used to be.
I just dont want this relationship to be over, it means a lot to me, I'm a pretty lonely person. Im extroverted and look normal but i find it really hard to get close to people.
>>
>>33862560
Do you know her already or just seen her around?

>>33862571
Don't try. That implies possible failure. Just do it. No excuses. You need to know: there absolutely *is* a solution to your issues. The only thing that determines your success is your dedication to getting there.
>I'm a pretty lonely person.
Yet another issue. A lonely person will use their partner as a crutch to not feel lonely. Just like mental illness: if you can't be comfortable and self sufficient in that, you need to solve underlying issues before getting in a relationship.
> Im extroverted and look normal but i find it really hard to get close to people.
That...sounds like some shit you need to work on before getting into a relationship, doesn't it? Kinda related to the loneliness, no? The fuck do you need a relationship for if it's hard to get close to people? You're putting the cart before the horse as if you can get anywhere efficiently that way.
>>
>>33862591
Ok, I get it.
People always react adversely to my issues because I look really normal.
I act normal even, until I have a breakdown.
Id almost prefer to be a weirdo so I wouldnt dissappoint people.
Now, should I expect this relationship to continue?
Am I dooming for the sake of it?
>>
>>33860860
>No. Act like a dude who wants to fuck and date from the beginning.

Kinda true, but it really depends on the context. Like, when I try to make a move at work, I usually do it way too late, but I also don’t want to start flirting right away and step on a landmine in my first week. It’s way easier at clubs or raves, but that’s mostly because people are already expecting it there.

Still, my appearance plays a role too. It’s not just in my head when I get random pretty privilege from women on the street or at the counter. Sometimes I even get told I look too good and they “don’t want to corrupt me". It’s so stupid. If you threw 1,000 men into a room and ranked them by dirtiness and corruption, I’d easily be top 10.
>>
>>33862538
She's only involved with the church because her mom was an alcoholic who would neglect her, her father left them when she was a kid, and like every druggie and alcoholic she got involved with a religion, and that religion just happened to be the Jehovah's witness. She's pretty much only there to appease her parents for the time being. She hasn't tried converting me or anything but I'm mostly into her because we have things in common, video games, music, movies, etc. not to mention she's also cute and has a nice body..
>>
I went to a party last night that had a bunch of mutual friends and a few girls that I knew of but didn't know personally
We all hung out and got to know each other and it was a really fun night
One girl that was there, kept talking to me, even sat on my lap at one point (we were all sitting around a campfire close to each other)
Here's the kicker though
Her "date" was there too and when she sat on my lap, he was staring me down from across the campfire.
I've known of this girl for awhile, she's not a "whore" by any means. I think she's only had 1 boyfriend who isn't this guy.

Later on in the night, I had to use the bathroom and she + 2 other friends tagged along.
On the way there, she grabbed my hand and led the way for a few seconds until she let go.

I desperately wanted to kiss her but seeing as her date was there, I decided not to.

What do bros? Am I reading too much into this?
Should I have flirted anyway?
>>
>>33862591
I “know” her to the point where we know each others names and have a friendly little chat if we bump into each other on the elevator but not well enough that I would just go to her desk and chat her up. I’m basically just hoping to bump into her and have a chat and rather than just doing the usual kinda “how was your weekend etc.” stuff be a little more out there and try and gauge her interest
>>
>>33862684
If she does it with you, she'll do it to you
>>
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>>33862684
>she’s not a whore
>>
>>33862690
Her being a whore or not isn't really the problem, I only threw that in there because she's not known as a whore.
I don't plan to marry this girl, I just wanted to finally hook up with someone.
I just need to know if I should've bit the bullet or not.
>>
>>33862684
>What do bros?
I’m into flirting with and hooking up with married women as a kink. It’s especially hot doing it in her house, in the bed she usually sleeps in with her husband.
>>
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>>33862684
>she's not a whore
>sits on your lap despite showing up with her date
>>
>>33862698
Then yeah, you should have just done it if you were looking for an easy lay. Better luck next time
>>
>>33862684
>>33862698
I want you to know you are a fucking idiot. Just know that a girl wont ever give any clearer signs than this, she literally walking around with a sign that says take me. If this wasn't enough to make you take action you're cooked mate.
>>
>>33859720
>>33859785
Dude, I say this with love, you need to spend A LOT less time on the internet. Absolutely shocking if your claim in later posts that you are in your 30s is true. I assumed you were 18 at most with knowing who all these e-'celebs' are.
>>
>>33860860
>Maybe instead of X style of clothing, you try Y. Over time you build a profile of the type of woman who's attracted to you,
Atm it seems like not many based on results

>Women naturally prefer older men
I do see this as true, being older than them is an advantage, but me being short and youthful looking probably is holding me back a bit

>What type of analytics are you doing though?
now for the important part:
I generally just approach girls I find attractive
Focusing on volume so I can get used to it at the moment.
I finally can say I'm not afraid to approach a girl I find attractive anywhere. And my tone of voice is now good.
Perhaps the first 1000 approaches will level me up. And my results are just from lack of experience

ATM 50% just outright ignore me and walk away
for the other half, the trend is there's three types of girls
Neutral gives one word replies (most common), trying to get away from the situation
Laughs and is happy but gives excuses like boyfriend, busy etc. (25%)
And then the type of girl who actually engages me (out of 300 probably around 10-15)
then out of those 15 girls I've gone on instant dates with 4, had a date later on with 2

In an hour or so I can probably get around 10 approaches in

So in conclusion, if I'm out and about trying to approach girls, the type fo girl who will actually talk to me is not very common. I have an idea of the type of girl that responds well to me (wears dresses, is shorter than me, logner hair)
but because that type of girl is so rare i can't just lock in on one type of girl, I go for anyone I find attractive
>>
>>33850946
If you ever start a date with a handshake, this is awfully cringe. It's better to just slap her on the ass and lick her face
>>
>>33862529
In real life I'm fine, it's just majority of women in my bracket are off putting
>>
How do I cope with the fact I'm too low value to get a beautiful woman. I hate feeling shallow but I'm in love with a beautiful woman and I feel like I can't fall in love with an ugly or plain woman that's in my league
>>
>Oneitis starts posting motivational quotes on Instagram

My time is coming, Anons.
>>
How am I suppose to get out do stuff without a car or a bus pass?
>>
>>33863118
You probably aren't going to be able to. How about you work on getting either of those things?
>>
>>33863120
Too broke for a car, so a bus pass will do for now.
>>
Do you think I could get a gf in the psych ward? I don’t feel crazy crazy but I’m not well, I often feel very detached from reality and when I’m not I have crazy mood swings where I go from feeling incredible to feeling like I’m worthless and want to die. I don’t really have any aspirations in life either so chilling in a mental hospital and drawing or writing or playing guitar or something all day seems comforting and if I could meet a schizo girl to be friends with it would be nice
>>
>>33862628
>Should I expect this relationship to continue?
If you've been seriously taking my advice so far to heart, you already know the answer to that question.
>>33862633
>Still, my appearance plays a role too
Yeah, but what are you doing to manage that?
>Sometimes I even get told I look too good and they “don’t want to corrupt me".
A nice response would be
>What makes you think I'm not already corrupted?
or
>What makes you think I wouldn't corrupt you instead?
Its so easy to turn that around.
>If you threw 1,000 men into a room and ranked them by dirtiness and corruption, I’d easily be top 10.
Then act like it instead of rolling over like a teddy bear. Your problems are 100% in your head. Not because they aren't happening. But because your head is preventing you from responding appropriately.
>>33862686
Stop with this bump into her bullshit. Take action. Have a little small talk then ask her out:
>By the way, [name] you seem pretty cool. I'd like to take you to on a date to [specific place that isn't food - lighter like tea / coffee] but no pressure. I can always just take someone else.
This way you're being direct and not wasting time getting the answer you really want. Also she's not afraid to say no or weirded out because you've provided an off ramp.

>>33863011
>Atm it seems like not many based on results
Ok so how are you updating your approach?
>, but me being short and youthful looking probably is holding me back a bit
Excuses are for pussies. Short men get women too. This is in your head.
>ATM 50% just outright ignore me and walk away
Wait, how are you approaching where half straight up don't even acknowledge you?

Brother, I need details. Because you should really be updating and fine tuning your approach as time goes on. Also, what are you doing to *be* attractive? I admire and respect the dedication. More dudes should be like you

>>33863030
>A majority of women in my bracket are off putting
So what are you doing to improve?
>>
>>33863306
>I can always just take someone else.
that just seems like douchebag PUA stuff but you’re right I need to be less of a pussy
>>
>>33863372
>Douchebag PUA stuff
Maybe, but I have no idea how socially proficient/inept anons are, so my wording has to assume the worst. A creep saying that shit wouldn't come across as harassing, for example. You seem aware enough to edit it accordingly though.
>>
Going through a divorce in my early 30s. I'm starting to feel a bit better and I'm eating again so I decided to hit dating apps, specifically Bumble. Not trying to doomer but are they normally this miserable? I'm looking for 28 to 35 and it's all single moms or air force officers, I've gotten 2 matches since starting and both disappeared after so it's probably my shitty profile, but I'm swiping left pretty often.
>>
>>33863574
Apps are for making money and hookups, not anything substantive. You'd be better off cold approaching than wasting time on apps.
>>
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This actually works?
>>
Got my Hinge account randomly deleted. Didn't even do anything, just boring chats and once in a blue moon got a date that went nowhere.
Is it even possible to recover the account or it's over?
>>
>>33864501
Why would this not work? Also you forgot step 1 which is be attractive.
>>
>>33864579
>step 1 which is be attractive
ah yes, the easy part
>>
>>33854961
We planned on doing a lunch this week. I'm still worried she just sees me a close co-worker though.



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