Currently 5 months pregnant and in a relationship with a narc. My narc has been physically violent in the past (not hitting- pushing/shoving, hair pulling, grabbing, throwing objects at me ect. *yes I know its just as bad) Anyway, my narc hasn't been violent in over a year (since we moved in with his mom) and I feel like hes extra cautious since I'm pregnant now, but I can't help but worry that he could snap one day. I've seen a lot of narcs become or are more physically violent when their partner is pregnant or after they give birth. Leaving isn't an option for me at the moment, so I'm wondering if there's something specific that triggers this behavior in them. He is still verbally and emotionally abusive and neglectful though and when we're intimate I feel like hes kind of rough sometimes (sorry tmi - but specifically when he thrusts not choking or anything like that, and says degrading things to me such as "that's my b*tch") I've also read that a top reason they get violent is because they get jealous of the attention the baby is getting, but if anything he tries to make me feel bad and say that I don't talk about the baby enough and tries to make it seem like I'm neglecting the baby- couldn't be further from the truth, but I do believe he cares about the baby, he gets emotional while talking about him and is excited for him to be here. *Please don't comment if you're only going to condescend of judge me.*
>>33865445>Please don't comment if you're only going to condescend of judge mewhy else would anyone reply to some dumb whore
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please be careful, sounds similar to my situation. My boyfriend didn't get physically violent until after I had the baby. He saw it as I was trapped with him now, he knew I was much less likely to leave since we had a family now and so the verbal abuse turned physical. The verbal abuse stopped phasing me so he took it up a notch to regain control over me.
>>33865445Literally anything you do or don't do is going to be the wrong thing. You can bend to his will and suck his dick 24/7 and he will still find a reason to belittle you and complain. It sucks but that is the truth. If you are cold and distant long enough and do not give in/validate/reciprocate/accept his love-bombing and sex rewards he will eventually despise you and stop trying. Can you put up with the abuse you would receive during that time frame is a question only you can answer. I am sorry you are dealing with this OP.
>>33865479She's just looking for support you piece of shit. Get out of here you narcissistic incel.
>>33865445Unfortunately, you're in deep trouble since you're carrying the baby he's the father to. That is a lifetime curse because he gets a say in things until the child is 18 itself. I sure hope you can find a support network that supports you (both sets of parents).Otherwise you're going to find it very difficult to find people to listen to you and help you. You'll feel cornered and it will begin to ware you down. It is abuse. I think you really need to decide if you want to go through this experience for years to come with him in the picture. Domestic disputes require police presence and possibly court and lawyers. I am not sure what supports are in your area for real professional guidance. But if you're ever touched again, simply call the police. You're fighting for two people now. Your life and your unborn child's.I wish you the best. I don't know what else to say except perhaps read books on narcissism or watch videos off YouTube. I'd also start to look at government level supports like a women's half-way house type thing where abuse victims can go if shit hits the fan and you need a safe place to escape to. I'd also tell your parents and make them aware that you're concerned at times for your welfare and are scared.
>>33865490Key is to not show any emotion whatsoever. Do not react to him being nice. Do not react to him being angry. Acknowledge him with as few words as humanly possible and with a neutral tone of voice always 100% of the time.
>>33865445>Please don't comment if you're only going to condescend of judge me.noyou deserve very harsh judgement for your poor choicesthat child is going to live with pain, suffering and hopelessness that they don't deservet. severly effected by my dumbfuck mother who did the same you're doing
I'd also put a voice recorder app on your phone. Video is better but it's better if it's a spy level app where it's not obvious if your phone is recording things. Also change the password lock your phone. Change the timeout period too to something super short. It's annoying but if he catches on you're recording his abuse, then he'll probably get violent or abusive. But you need tangible proof that he's abusing you, even just verbally. Cops often can't do anything at all without proof. They can't take your word for it. They need to see or hear proof...like pics of bruises or cuts/scrapes, etc. I'd also start a detailed journal that you keep under password protection on your phone or computer or somewhere...maybe even online that's secured like via dropbox type thing. Set up a fake email account that you can email this stuff to for backup in case your phone goes missing or is destroyed.
>>33865567Fuck off you obvious abusive narcissistic asshole, in fact just rope yourself if you can't offer anything of value to help this person out. People like you are pieces of shit. No wonder no one likes you. It's also really fucking creepy you're stalking this particular thread. There is something really wrong with you, you crazy piece of shit.
>>33865497Then she can go find it other than from simps on the internet.
>>33865445are you both white?
>>33865567Sounds like you're directing your anger at the wrong person, you should be directing it at your dead beat narc father but I'm sorry that your mother decided to keep you and not get an abortion. Get over yourself you whiney little bitch.
>>33865608The only whiny bitch is you faggot. Slice your wrists. No one will care. Not even your parents. They'll be glad to get rid of you and so will society.
>>33865614No, we're both Hispanic
>>33865590yeah, thats the kind of person this situation createsi'd kill myself but i need to spit on my mother's grave before i goand unlike the people who were good parents to me, she refuses to die
>>33865619Wtf are you at 12 year old boy going through puberty LOL, so emotional.
>>33865629"Good parents" you obviously didn't have that because you're acting like a child. If you loathe your mother so much, why do you have any contact with her at all. You make 0 sense.
>>33865635Stop attention seeking faggot. You were told to fuck off. Know your place. You're dogshit boy. Always were, always will be. People like you get beaten to death. I look forward to hearing about it.
>>33865687The only person attention seeking in here is YOU. The little boy with daddy issues who blames his mom. I'm sorry that you'll never have a girlfriend/wife or children of your own because you'll forever have the mental capacity of a 12 year old.
>>33865616my biological father died when i was 2the father of my younger siblings was the abusive piece of shitand the covert abuse was all my mother>>33865649no shiti didnt learn much from those good influences because she taught me to be very distrustful - the pain of knowing you hated the wrong person for years is unrealblocking her number would just hurt her morei tap out of the monthly phonecall after 45 minutes when my emotional state is fucked
>>33865722Sorry to hear about your bio dad, but other than that boo hoo. Get over it already, if you're an adult now why are you still acting like a child. EVERYONE has been through trauma, the next person will always have it worse than you. Are you going to keep projecting hate onto all women because of your mom. ALSO you're acting like OP is the same as your mother, you have no idea what her plans are. She said leaving isn't at option at the moment, how do you know shes not making a plan to leave, you're assuming so much off of so little information. Its sounds like OP and your mom are 2 totally different people so why are you acting like they're the same....
>>33865763i'm going to continue hating on fools who make poor choicesespecially when it involves children>leaving isn't an optionexactly what my mother said up until he flipped out and broke her eye socket (6 months after he'd broken my little brother's femur)leave now, it will get worse
>>33865810You idiot, leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship. Do you really think she can just get up and go at any time without any kind of repercussions? She needs a plan in place first and I'm sure that she's working on one. She will need a way of transportation, or money to get an uber to get her where she needs to go, she will need a place to go (if not with family, then she would need to look into a shelter), she will need time while hes away to gather her/babies belongings (passports, IDs, ect.), she will need to likely get a restraining order, she may need some time to save up some money, she may be in the process of collecting evidence in order to get a restraining order against him. You sound REAL ignorant to state "leave now" without thinking about anything I mentioned above. ALSO for someone who has witnessed a physically violent man, you sure have 0 compassion for victims when you're a "so called" victim yourself. People who have actually endured abuse or have witnessed their loved ones enduring abuse have empathy for others in this kind of situation so I doubt you're even telling the truth, otherwise, you'd know everything I just said and wouldn't be making ignorant remarks.
>>33865575this! get one of them little pen camera thingys
>>33865864>You sound REAL ignorant to state "leave now" without thinking about anything I mentioned aboveWhat do you expect from a scandinavian hackey sack full of teenage virgins who have zero relationship experience?
>>33865864mindreader are you?nothing in the OP indicates a plan to leavei never said it was easy to up-end your lifebut its going to be much harder AFTER the child is born
>>33865915"Leaving isn't an option AT THE MOMENT" sounds to me like if they were able to leave, they would - interpret the context smart one. ALSO, you straight up said to "leave now" and doing so could get her killed. Again if you were an actual victim and were raised in this environment, you would know this and not make such ignorant statements.
>>33865984>sounds to me like if they were able to leave, they wouldsounds like battered-housewife clichei was raised in a single-mother-with-ptsd environment, i'd do ANYTHING to go back and change that
Just leave. You are capable and can do it easily. Stop making excuses.
Watch Sam vaknin on youtube, trust me. Goldmine of information. The words will help.
>>33865445>I'm wondering if there's something specific that triggers this behavior in themWhen they're stupid, slow, weak, unpopular, or insufficient in some way.No, you cannot prevent it. They simply fail to handle their own awareness of reality.>*Please don't comment if you're only going to condescend of judge me.*You aren't special. I shall condescend to you as I do everyone.
>>33866068Yeah, NO one believes you kid. Your lack of empathy and compassion make it clear that you're not a victim. Stop playing the victim. "Single-mother-with-PTSD environment", wtf is that... your "self diagnosis". Also it would be considered Cptsd NOT ptsd. You can't go back only forward so stop wallowing in self pity. I really hope you're an actual kid posting this, because if you're an adult thats VERY embarrassing.
>>33866192I'm going to copy and paste what I had replied to someone else earlier that said something similar to you about telling OP to "just leave" You idiot, leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship. Do you really think she can just get up and go at any time without any kind of repercussions? She needs a plan in place first and I'm sure that she's working on one. She will need a way of transportation, or money to get an uber to get her where she needs to go, she will need a place to go (if not with family, then she would need to look into a shelter), she will need time while hes away to gather her/babies belongings (passports, IDs, ect.), she will need to likely get a restraining order, she may need some time to save up some money, she may be in the process of collecting evidence in order to get a restraining order against him.
>>33866241Teenagers with no life experience think life choices are just easy, binary things people can just do. They think everything is a matter of willpower because they've never actually had to make any consequential choices living with mommy and daddy.
Not telling you to leave now but you will have to start thinking about it. Depending on what country you are in there are many support groups and organizations (you dont need evidence, word of mouth is enough in australia at least) that you can reach out to and they will even assist in living spaces (you will be moving around a lot until they find a group housing that is free) during that time you can establish a restraining order(restraining orders dont really do anything in reality as it is not going to stop them but having it in place is good to push charges on him after he does) and it will be harder for him to find you. One thing of note is that you have to be mindful of using any car that you 2 own as they probably most likely tracked. Evidence collection would be good try to get photos and videos discretely. you have to start thinking about this now, you are bringing a child to here so you have to make it a priority that it can grow up in a somewhat stable environment. (things like this the father will be viewed poorly in court by most judges so he will either get very little or 0 time with the baby)
>>33866217no, the years where she would cry, shake and sleep all the time were ptsdthe cpstd stuff like klepto, telling me about her sexlife, and trying to drink herself to death came later>lack of empathy and compassion>embarrassingyeah, you end up with a twisted sense of these things after a fucked up childhoodno time for shame when mum tells you to get the coins out of a fountainfuck you very much btw
>>33865445As abuser never, ever, ever gets better. They only get worse.
>>33866300Exactly thank you
>>33866424Yeah I just read all of your responses to another user on here and you clearly are talking out of your ass. You don't even know the difference between ptsd and Cptsd, seriously dude just stop talking already. You've already proven your incompetence.
>>33865497Bitch calm your titsHe wasnt being mean just stating some factsAnd support wont help op very muchFind ways to get out op, it gets worse once you start having more kids
>>33867911>theres a clear distinction between ptsd and cptsd>because psychology is an exact scienceyou're the one talking out your assi don't care if you believe meyou're just reinforcing my belief that most women are dumb whores
>>33868029"why else would anyone reply to some dumb whore" - this is "stating facts"? The fuck are you talking about.
>>33868029Giving advice is a form of gaining support, you literally just tried to give OP advice.... you're literally contradicting what you just said. You make 0 sense.
>>33868518You're reinforcing EVERYONES belief that you're an incel lmao. If you hate women SO much then go be with a man you wierdo.
>>33869862>virgin>ur gayooh the classicsdumb whore
>>33869960"The classics" indicate to me that you've heard this several times before. What's the common denominator.... oh yeah YOU. So maybe idk, fix yourself, fix your outlook on life. Get therapy, you obviously need it.
>>33870708>fix your outlook>just accept that dumbasses like OP will go on making terrible choicesi refusetolerance doesn't help them
>>33870934You're pathetic and you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life and blame every woman for your mommy issues, OH YEAH, just like what narcissists do.
>>33871053projection?i call em like i see em, and i've seen this one beforenot every woman, but far too many
>>33871066You're "calling out" OP when you don't even know her plans. You're literally "assuming" what she's going to do based off of your mom idiot.
>>33865502>Do this thing that takes 100000% of your attention for the rest of your lifeGo order tendies, chud
>>33871083what a bad faith argumentasking for tips to deal with your abuser is LITERALLY making plans to stay
>>33871112It's called asking for advice to stay safe until you're capable of leaving hi stupid piece of shit.
>>33871271you're the kind of idiot who blames the lion when someone jumps into the lion enclosure, aren't you?
>>33871280No and that's not even comparable dumbass. You need a plan in place to leave, you can't just get up and go without a place to go, without transportation, without any money, without a restraining order.Since you seem to think its possible for her to do so, please lay out a plan.
>>33871338here in australia, you can just walk into a police station and say: hi i need a restraining order and somewhere safe to stay>putting the onus on me to plan OPs lifeeyeroll
>>33871357Okay and do you think everyone is from Australia lmao....I asked because you seem to think OP can just get up and go without a plan. In most places you'll need to provide proof of why you need a restraining order, also i don't its actually that easy to get a restraining order in Australia.
>>33871390whatever, dumbass~4 months until the beatings start again, tick tock
>>33871394Yeah just dismiss what I said because I'm correct. Also you're just assuming that and OP also mentioned that he hadn't ever hit her, not to say it wouldn't escalate to that but I don't he's going to start straight up beating her once the baby is born. She'll need at least a month to get everything in order so hopefully she's able to do so.I'm sure you're just hoping for her downfall though you wierdo.
>>33871357Um yeah I also just looked into how to attain a restraining order in Australia and you need to fill out an application and provide proof of why you need one against said person you dumb ass. So why are you lieing.
>>33871408>you should know how support systems overseas work>verbal abuse and violent sex aren't beatings>just a little more time and things will get better>you pointed out how shitty what someone is doing, you must WANT them to do ityou're an absolute fucken retard
>>33871410you can fill out the application at the police station"i'm pregnant and he threatened to kill me if i talked to the police"why am i arguing with fucken thirdies?peace out, fuckwits
>>33871428You need to provide proof stupid ass
