Sorry for the pathetic post, I'm chronically lonely and have zero people to talk to.How can people actually do things? Everything feels like a massive hassle. I could literally rot in my bed all day if it weren't for the pressure from my family. I have literally zero purpose, zero urge to do anything. Nothing to look forward to. The few highschool friends I had have moved on and don't give a shit about me. They are going out partying while I'm here playing videogames and jerking off like a freak.The one thing I thought I had going was that I'm mildly intelligent. Or maybe something along the lines of "not as stupid as people around me". Doesn't matter though, no discipline and motivation. Currently majoring in economics, always had an obsession with learning random shit as a kid. Loved history, math, geography. Tried to immerse myself into communities where people like to learn those and quickly realised everyone is smarter than me. Always someone better, always a reason to be anxious. Never good enough. The alternative would be to consume brainrot and escape from reality. Oh wait, that makes me feel pathetic too. Maybe I'm in just the spot where I'm too dumb for smart people but too smart for stupid people, so I get to feel like a loser regardless.I miss being a kid and not having to be stressed all of the time. I miss being called smart by my teacher because I knew the flags of all countries or some random shit. I miss learning for fun, without responsibility attached. Have to grow up to be another wageslave nobody cares about though. No love either, I'm gonna die alone and without a single real friend because I don't fucking know how to speak to people.I wish I could actually sit down and have discipline to study. I wish I could be a productive member of society and that people respected me. Wish I could contribute and get something back. Instead I'll go back to stroking my cock to my deranged fantasies. Will probably end up as a NEET once my family dies
>>33866058have you never had any friends at all?
>>33866058i'm literally you, i barely do the minimum to pass as a normie to my family and friends but everything feels draining if i don't want to do it.
>>33866451In high-school I suppose. Nobody really gives a shit about me anymore though. I've got nothing in common with them. Don't want to go out to the stupid parties to drink and hook up with random girls that will forget me the next day, so I'm a weirdo I guess.
>>33866058>How can people actually do things?1. Identify greatest gap between desire and result2. If that gap is my own attitude, change it3. If that gap is my capacity, git gud4. If that gap is something I lack, go get it5. Do I suck too much shit to do the above? I accept that suffering is justified.> I have literally zero purpose, zero urge to do anything.In that case I, also, don't do anything.>They are going out partying while I'm here playing videogames and jerking off like a freak.That line tells me you're a liar.That line tells me that you mistakenly value partying, and that you refuse to value the video games and masturbation.You're doing this to give yourself excuses for feeling sad and lacking accomplishment.If that's your goal, own it. Say you're trying to be miserable.If I were in your situation I'd simply enjoy the games and masturbation more than the partying, and conclude that I was, in fact, getting exactly what I was trying to get and satisfying exactly the urges I was trying to satisfy. And that in that moment I was as content as I could make myself.>I miss being called smart by my teacher because I knew the flags of all countries or some random shit.That nails it. You have external praise as a goal. You don't lack motivation. You refuse to act on the motivation you already have, and you pretend you don't have that motivation as a way of (failing to) cope with your lack of success.If you really want to have no motivation?Do it properly. Stop desiring and valuing external praise. If you make excuses for desiring and valuing external praise, then stop LARPing like you have no motivation. Use your motivation and become a person worthy of praise.It's either/or. And if you refuse both, then the only person responsible for your misery is you and your own denial.>I wish I could be a productive member of society and that people respected me.Fail until you succeed then repeat until you're consistent.
>>33866584>Don't want to go out to the stupid parties to drink and hook up with random girls that will forget me the next day, so I'm a weirdo I guess.Congrats, you're succeeding. Be proud of yourself you little shit.
>>33866608>That nails it. You have external praise as a goal. You don't lack motivation. You refuse to act on the motivation you already have, and you pretend you don't have that motivation as a way of (failing to) cope with your lack of success.There might be some truth to this. I wonder how folks are able to act upon their motivation though. Maybe I am just being an attention seeking bitch on the internet? I wonder...
>>33866629>I wonder how folks are able to act upon their motivation though.If I were to give a subjective answer:They accept that getting humiliated, eating shit, being resented or disgusting others, and suffering the pain of having their ego collapse is a necessary step towards gitting gud.And the reason why you're not pursuing said action is because you prefer the misery of being who you are now to the misery of having to get your shit pushed in by being the person who deserves others make fun of them. Which is who you would in fact have to be before you can learn to get your shit in order.Me? I don't understand the idea of ego collapse and if other people are made at me for being shit, then ok I'm shit, but my best choice is still to yolo it and so I will in fact yolo it.I strongly suspect that my way of thinking is as alien to you as your way of thinking is to me. In that case, I have no idea. But if I were in your shoes, I'd simply accept that I'd have to feel like the villain to live long enough to become the normalfag.
