>"can you explain this 3 year gap in your resume?">"no."is this a valid strategy? Or do I just lie/ put a random dead end job position on there?Alternatively, since I'm enrolled in Uni, I can always just say that I focused on my studies and lived off savings.
Extend the bordering jobs into it.
>>33868499Say you went on a world trip or some bullshit like that
>>33868511I only ever worked one job and quit as a result of a schizo episode, but I managed not to get hospitalized so there's no proof. Not that I'd want to mention it to them anyway.>>33868516How do I make it sound believable though?
>>33868534>How do I make it sound believable though?Idk, have you gone on a trip at all during those 3 years?
>>33868577not really. I've never been on vacation more than 2 weeks.
>>33868499"my dad is wealthy so I just work when i feel like it, and now I REALLY FEEL LIKE IT. I might even ask a couple of friends to come over while I'm working here"it has worked for me so far.
>>33868499You can really just tell the truth without needing to divulge your life history.>i took some time off between jobs
>>33868631Do I have to lay it on thick? Because that sounds like it might work>>33868639how do I deliver that?
>>33868654High pitched and with a smile. Holy shit, retard. I know I'm autistic but do you really need the exact intonation to use too?
>>33868499you can just say and i did travel and work, maybe even make up that you learned a new language while doing that (that you already knew).this works pretty well and is considered normal by society these days.
>>33868654>how do I deliver that?As part of a segue into talking about the next job. >i took some time off before working at the warehouse, blah blah blahJust keep the conversation flowing.
>>33868628>vacation more than 2 weeksCould you pretend it was 3 years insread?
>>33868672>>33868715Good idea actually. I've never left Europe though. So do I say that I lived in the states for 3 years?>>33868670Idk, since I'm going to lie I don't want to make it sound more insincere than necessary, but not sheepish enough for anyone to notice that I'm lying.>>33868684so not treat it as if it's anything that would warrant questioning?
>>33868499HR only cares that it looks like you might be trying to hide that you got fired for taking a shit on the CEO's desk after working there three years. Or got fired for using company resources to download cheeze pizza or similar.Simply bring in three years of checking account statements or your income tax statements to prove you were not fired for cause because you were not working anywhere. That will satisfy the HR roastie.
>>33868499
>>33868499>Sorry, I can't because during that time frame I signed an NDA
>>33868904>So do I say that I lived in the states for 3 years?Yes. Au-pair or some shit like that
>>33868631LoleDidn't they ever wonder why those friends never came over?
>>33868499I wouldn't even call you if you had an unexplained 3 year gap. Say you were taking care of a sick family member or some shit and put it on your resume. I would assume you were in prison.t. HR
>>33869927what if I can provide proof of a clean criminal record?
>>33868499People who just snuck into this country with no verifiable history get jobs what's your problem? Options:1. Lie2. Bribe them to hire you3. Sabotage the competition, like call ICE on their immigrant staff or otherwise get people at that business fired so there are more openings.
>>33868499It's not ideal, but lying can be the difference between poverty and survival. So in that case it may be forgiven, and if it isn't then so be it.
>>33870149>call ICE on their immigrant staffKek, this would take down so many millionaire's businesses though>>33872364Wtf r u talking about?
>>33869927>t. HRAre you a girl?>>33870088Just lie about it
>>33872571Either abolsih feminism or give huge incentives to married couples and even more to those who have children. Also make women take like a year or two off work after they popped a baby
>>33868499>No.That's obviously not true. Unless you want to say you have no fucking idea what you did for three years and just blanked out.Just say due to special circumstances you had to manage your families fortunes for three years. Inheritance, real estate etc.
>>33876279>"can you explain this 3 year gap in your resume?">I smoked weed, played video games and rode my bike in the sun
>>33870088You have to get the call first and with a huge unexplained gap you'd go straight to the trash.>>33872554>Are you a girl?No, I'm the diversity hire (white male)
>>33876293That's why you lie about it by implying your family is rich...
>>33876976>I'm the diversity hire (white male)jejWhat's it like to work in HR as a white male?
>worked for my dad’s companyOr>I had cancer…I got better, my job prospects did not
>>33877229>>I had cancer…I got better, my job prospects did notHoly shit. Any HR roastie would fall for that
>>33877227I'm still new in my career and I've only worked for two companies but so far almost everyone I've worked with, like 95% have all been white women. The conversations we have are pretty wild. It's our job to give people a hard time when they do inappropriate shit but behind closed doors were pretty damn inappropriate ourselves. We also don't spend our time looking for problems despite popular opinion. As long as nobody complains I don't give a fuck about people making off colour jokes. I honestly really like it.
>>33877236Not if you're American lmao. They'd see you as nothing more than a walking bag of potential insurance payouts. Don't tell them you had cancer, OP, tell them you were self employed selling precious metals on FB marketplace
>>33877325Based idea, actually.
>>33877317>colour jokesWhat? You mean racist jokes, right? Those HR roasties are getting to you...
>>33877317>The conversations we have are pretty wild.Like what?
>>33877370You've never heard the phrase off colour joke? That's not a new thing.>>33877378A lot of sex talk. We also make up stupid nicknames for everyone, the kind that would definitely get you in trouble. Lots of gossip too about employees.
>>33877604>You've never heard the phrase off colour joke? I've checked the meaning now. Thanks.>A lot of sex talkI would feel so uncomfortable around women when they talk about sex openly. Like, they're whores, plus I don't even fuck them myself. It's just so offputting
>>33877613>They're whores, plus I don't even fuck them myself. It's just so offputtingThey're actually all in committed relationships and so am I. I guess it would be weird if I wasn't getting laid but I am so I get to talk about fucking my wife.
> We spend our entire lives running on this treadmill, convinced we're chasing meaning, love, and purpose> when we're really just sophisticated rats pressing buttons to get our next chemical pellet
>>33877618Oh, that's nice then. So you all just brag about your own sex lives? For what purpose?
>>33877619>You're hired
>>33877623>For what purpose?It's exciting I guess? Were all degenerates? Not sure really, the conversation just often goes that way.
>>33877630Sounds odd. Do all the chics jump in to this or just the roasties?
>>33877638There's definitely two that lead such conversations and it's a bit much sometimes but overall everyone participates. Talking about sex really isn't that weird if you actually have it.
>>33877643What if I do have it and it's still weird to me openly share my intimate moments with loved ones to my coworkers?
>>33877649Then don't. I feel like you're old enough to understand how having a conversation works.
>>33877655Yes, and I'm old enough to know that having such conversations is quite offputting
>>33877660Good for you old man
>>33877666>those tripsI'm not old, satan
>>33868499man I'd be so fucked if i lived in americaim sure where im from people are far more forgiving and kindt. 5 year gap (well i had a job for a few months last year...)
