Just found out recently that my girlfriend's friend is a pornstar. They just recently rekindled a friendship again. She told my gf recently and it's been hard for me to handle. I've had history with porn but not sure why I feel bothered by this.Why do I feel this way? Should we distance from this person?
>>33877661>not sure why I feel bothered by thisbecause your girlfriend gets a long with a porn star. that means she has the personality to be one herself. once the pornstar starts showing off how much money she has on her own its over.
>>33877670Shit... Maybe you're right. What do I do? Any tips for keeping an eye on her?
>>33877661Porn is a predatory practice for all who engage in it, including the pornstars. I’m not spouting no cap shit but you ever meet someone proud of watching porn?
>>33877697That's the thing. This friend has this super sex positive attitude and she says that she's doing what she loves. It is really hard to fathom. She seems to really enjoy it.She has this IG and everything that has her smiling and enjoying life. It makes no sense to me.
>>33877700Bro she’s an”actor”, you think she’s being truthful when she’s using two inherently deceptive platforms.Even if she does enjoy it, is that really a good thing? Maybe she’s a decent person but there’s a lot of red flags there that I don’t blame you for being cautious about
>>33877755Tell me more. I'm not sure what to think. It's especially hard when I feel like feminism is used as a weapon against my hesitation. Like if I frown upon her behavior, I'm suddenly sexist. It's confusing.
If you overreact it'll cause issues.If it comes up, you just act like it's no big deal with your girlfriend so long as she doesn't go do porn too. You can also subtly remark that you're glad her friend seems to be happy, since so many other people in that industry are abused and so on.
>>33877670>because your girlfriend gets a long with a porn star. that means she has the personality to be one herself....what?
>>33877770But what's hard to believe is that this girl is happy.
>>33877786Why do you care?
>>33877786Her happiness isn’t your responsibility. I know that’s harsh and cold but as long as she’s not affecting your GF negatively then if she chooses a self destructive career that’s on her
>>33877661The problem is that woman are cattle, so easily influenced. She is definitely not a good influence for your girlfriend.
>>33877801>as long as she’s not affecting your GF negativelyShe will. Actually, you can bet you ass she already is.
>>33877819I don't get it - its not possible to be friends with someone who has different values than you do without succumbing to them? What a bizarre assertion.
no one actually wants me to be happy away, and thats the entire fucking point. how did you miss that? >>33877786
>>33877821I already addressed your cuck mentality on this reply>>33877804
>>33877878>Thinking its possible to be friends who have jobs you wouldn't personally do >Cuck mentalityCan I ask how old you are?
>>33877884>friends who have jobs you wouldn't personally doShe's a prostitute, you moron. You nu beta males always downplay it. Like she is a street sweeper or clean bathrooms. lol
>>33877878>I'm so insecure and terrified of a girl not liking me I won't even let her be in proximity of anybody who I'm hysterically terrified will convince her to leave meImagine thinking like this and calling someone else a cuck.
>>33877697>Porn is a predatory practice for all who engage in it, including the pornstars.Explain?
>>33877893>She's a prostitute, you moron.Do you know what a prostitute is?>You nu beta males always downplay it. Like she is a street sweeper or clean bathrooms. lolWhat does this have to do with what I said? Also you didn't answer the question. How old are you? I'm curious what breadth of life experience you're drawing from to make claims about how women think.
>>33877899>Do you know what a prostitute is?Do you? It doesn't matter if there's a camera recording it or not...
>>33877700Her job is to be beautiful and admired and have orgasms while other people cheer her on. How could anyone possibly enjoy that??? Kek.She sounds kind of based, and you are sheltered but you are right to feel threatened. You have no idea how much fun "degenerates" are having, it's not shallow fun, it surprisingly wholesome at times. It's a minefield but when it goes right it's just people enjoying their bodies and each others bodies in the most natural life-affirming ways. You have no idea what you're missing. The problem, societally, is to get into this heaven you probably have to be a woman or gay. You straight men have really shot yourself in the foot, tried to hoard sexual satisfaction all for yourself, and in the process actually locked yourself out of the house, out in the cold blizzard.Anyway, pearls before swine. Realistically, what you should do is start perving on your girlfriends friend so she gets mad at her.
>>33877897They are squeezed dry, like juicy oranges.When they don't have more juice to offer, they are thrown in the trash.Lots of girls who do porn end addicted to drugs and dying young.Of course some of them explode in popularity and end rich or marrying a rich cuck, but that's the devil blessing them with success so they can bait other women into selling their bodies.
>>33877913>Being a whore is based.Picrel is you.
>>33877908OP here. I have to agree with this. Pornstars are literal prostitutes with cameras. Having sex for money on camera.Which is wild that we consider it legal.
>>33877913What happens if I don't perv over her?
>>33877923If there is one thing I have learnt is that no one will ever care. The blame will always be on you. There is no reason to care if women are stupid enough to get in to porn, just like how they aren't going to care about how your actions, no matter how much of a go intent it is, will be enough for them.
>>33878046This feels kinda incel though, no?
>>33877908>It doesn't matter if there's a camera recording it or not...Well, it does. That's why we have two different words for it. Besides that, what I'm trying to figure out is what about sex work is so uniquely bad that it differs from literally any other line of work? Like if my friend is a cop and I disagree with being a cop does that mean I'm going to suddenly become a cop just from being in proximity with someone who is? If my friend is a teacher and I don't have/want any children am I suddenly going to become a teacher? I don't understand how this personal ethics osmosis works. Every time I ask your only answer is "HURHHGRAA PROSTITUTE. ROASTIES!! SLUTTS!" Like, I get it, you think doing porn is bad. That still doesn't explain anything.
>>33877908Also, for the third time, how old are you? I'm curious where you're getting all of this insight on women being cattle. What's your longest relationship you've been in?
>>33877696i have no advice. if you notice she has a shorter temper with you and starts complaining about finances or you in bed its over. try to keep her occupied and happy so she doesn't start to watch porn and engage with it more
>>33878111>so she doesn't start to watch porneverybody watches porn
>>33878088>Besides that, what I'm trying to figure out is what about sex work is so uniquely bad that it differs from literally any other line of work?You're beyond hopeless. I can't help you because your fundamental values are all based on lies. You probably believe sex is just an activity like any other, you believe casual sex is ok. The idea that intimacy is something is special is utterly incomprehensible to your rotten brain.>>33878111\thread
Be the same as you were before you met her, and after.
>>33877766>Like if I frown upon her behavior, I'm suddenly sexist. It's confusing.Most pornstars are mentally ill to some degree, and your gfs friend sounds like no exception. Basically shes a prostitute with extra steps, only that run of the mill escorts aren't expected to do sexual stunt shows like DPs with their johns, get paid upfront and not afterwards and don't get it on camera.Most pornstars also earn squat, it pays like shit noawadays unless you make it big. Watch "Hot girls wanted", perhaps together with your gf.Anyways, you are quite correct in being suspicious. You are who your friends are, and hers is a pornstar. >She seems to really enjoy it.How dfotend o you see women in porn genuinely enjoy themselves and not ham it up for the camera? Thats right. I find it highly unlikely that she is the one in a thousand who legitimately gets off on drinking some fat old guys piss.
>>33878132>You're beyond hopeless. I can't help you because your fundamental values are all based on lies.Do you not find it odd you can't even answer basic questions about your own opinion? Like I'm asking you to simply explain to me, in your eyes, why sex work is the only type of work that somehow spreads to other people by osmosis and you have no clue despite it being a thing that you've decided to believe.>You probably believe sex is just an activity like any other, you believe casual sex is ok. The idea that intimacy is something is special is utterly incomprehensible to your rotten brain.And now to distract from the fact that you can't articulate your own opinion in any rational way, lets just invent a bunch of things I never said because that's easier to engage with than what I actually said. Consider the possibility that building ethical principals on emotions is not a very reliable way to process the world.
>>33878193>How dfotend o you see women in porn genuinely enjoy themselves and not ham it up for the camera?How often can you mind read the people in porn and determine whether or not they're actually enjoying themselves?
>>33878235>what about sex work is so uniquely bad? Casual sex is not ok.Intimacy is something special between two people.Dissociating sex from affection will lead to mental illness (some prostitutes cope by not doing something with their clients, that they'd do with the person they like).On my next reply, I shall make a drawing for you, with circles and big arrows.
>>33877895It's not "insecurity", you moron. It's disgust. Not wanting his gf to destroy herself doesn't mean he wants to be with her after she does.>>33878235>why sex work is the only type of work that somehow spreads to other people by osmosis NTA, but he didn't say that. He (or somebody else ITT) said that one's friends reflect on one's own values--which includes befriending literal whores.He's repeatedly told you that he considers prostitution--and the extension of it to film--immoral. You can smugly ask "why" all you like, but it won't change the fact that he does. You're framing your questions as if it isn't a moral issue. He correctly recognized that, and you just double down on the false premise that being a whore is no different than being a teacher, and couldn't be different to anyone for any "valid" reason. If you won't even acknowledge where he's coming from, of course it's useless to engage with your nonsensical filibustering.>Consider the possibility that building ethical principals on emotions is not a very reliable way to process the world.Where do your fundamental values come from, then? Unless you want to get into metaphysics, the buck stops with you--and yes, what you feel. Obviously, basing an entire moral system on fleeting emotion is incoherent, but the core values which generate those morals might as well be subjective.
>>33878257Based and truth pilled anon.Let them have it.
>>33877661Just become her OF pimp.
>>33878253>Casual sex is not ok.>Intimacy is something special between two people.This doesn't explain why sex work is the only work that will leak to other people by osmosis. >>33878257>NTA, but he didn't say that. He (or somebody else ITT) said that one's friends reflect on one's own values--which includes befriending literal whores.To which I replied - Ok, so if its not possible for someone to be friends with someone who does something you disagree with for work then how is it that other professions don't do the same thing? Why is it that if my friend worked in a butcher shop and I was a vegetarian we couldn't have a friendship and by principle of "reflecting one's own values" I would suddenly start loving meat? It doesn't make sense.>He's repeatedly told you that he considers prostitution--and the extension of it to film--immoral. You can smugly ask "why" all you like, but it won't change the fact that he does. You're framing your questions as if it isn't a moral issue. You're not reading correctly. The contention isn't whether or not he finds it immoral. The contention is why does someone you are friends with doing something you find immoral for work automatically mean you are somehow condoning it? I gave several examples.>of course it's useless to engage with your nonsensical filibustering.Its only useless because the anon I'm speaking to hasn't done any thinking about his own opinion, therefore cannot answer any questions about it. The question I'm asking is super simple. >Obviously, basing an entire moral system on fleeting emotion is incoherent, but the core values which generate those morals might as well be subjective.It doesn't matter where you get your morals from. What matters is that you can articulate why you think a certain thing is true and defend it from scrutiny. The anon I'm speaking to is incapable of both.
>>33878257>It's not "insecurity", you moron. It's disgust.Its the definition of insecurity. "I don't want my GF exposed to any outside stimulus which might convince her to leave me." What else would you call that?
>>33878287It's probably because of the blurrier boundaries of sex work / onlyfans etc combined with relatively few barriers as long as you are decent and competent for sex. At a social level, right wing spaces already excommunicate these individuals. So they head left to the banner waving safe spaces where their sexual liberation is celebrated and championed.Much like many other social causes within liberal spaces - it's trendy to adopt politicized lifestyle statements. It's why you find that vegans or extremes of new-age types cluster heavily in these LGBT/liberal dominant spaces.I think it makes sense. Marginalised / fringe identity types will already be several degrees of deconditioning into the matrix-breaking paradigms. By the time things like the OF-Girl arrive in the group, in tandem with a bunch of pre-existing conditioning towards having overly open, underly judgemental and mainly fuck society and it's established norms value system.... yeah, it spreads.I'd say off hand that I've been around one or two groups that were LGBT / sex posi types where there was an unusually large presence of sex workers, only fans, paid doms / general online sex types in amongst the fray. There was an undercurrent of networking going on too - promoting eachothers wares online, doing collabs etc.The maths does math on this if you pay enough attention.
>>33878115Not my girlfriend. But that would be hot if we watched together.
>>33878287>Why is it that if my friend worked in a butcher shop and I was a vegetarian we couldn't have a friendship and by principle of "reflecting one's own values" I would suddenly start loving meat?'First of all, there is a difference in the kind of immorality, since diet doesn't directly impact how you relate to other people (unlike views on the place of intimacy in relationships, which are as close as you could possibly get), so it's easier to compartmentalize.But that aside, it doesn't mean you will start loving it--but it still shows it's well within the realm of tolerance for you. So someone who can't stand eating meat, who is against raising their kids to eat meat, would be justified in treating you with caution, since they'd have reason to believe you wouldn't be interested in enforcing that boundary. >The contention is why does someone you are friends with doing something you find immoral for work automatically mean you are somehow condoning it?Because if you found it truly repulsive, you wouldn't want anything to do with it. You don't have to act like a spastic towards people, but being cordial while distant is very different from being friends and ignoring it.> What matters is that you can articulate why you think a certain thing is true and defend it from scrutiny. It's near-axiomatic. The basic belief, common to many conservatives, is that sexuality is something deeply intimate, typically proper between a married couple only. Maybe he's more loose (and I'd argue with him over it) and things it just needs to be some kind of "serious" relationship. Either way, it's a fundamental rule of how people relate to one another. For many people, the reasoning ends there. You presumably think people are equal. Why? Same thing.I don't want to speak for him, but for me, any kind of promiscuity is wrong because it's destabilizing to relationships and encourages people to treat each other as disposable amusements.
>>33878293>"I don't want my GF exposed to any outside stimulus which might convince her to leave me."Except HE would want to leave HER. If she changes as a person, then her value as a partner doesn't stay constant to him. If he sees a risk of her doing something incongruous to what attracted him in the first place, no shit, he'll worry about it. If that's insecurity, then insecurity is logically equivalent to having boundaries and preferences in a partner.
>>33878315>First of all, there is a difference in the kind of immorality, since diet doesn't directly impact how you relate to other peopleI'd argue that the food analogy is worse. With vegetarianism they can argue that physical creatures who can suffer and feel pain are dying. Meanwhile everybody, in principal, who engages with pornography does so willingly. >But that aside, it doesn't mean you will start loving it--but it still shows it's well within the realm of tolerance for you.I don't understand how tolerating people around you doing things that you wouldn't participate in is at all a uniquely prevalent or uniquely immoral issue to pornography. >Because if you found it truly repulsive, you wouldn't want anything to do with it.Why does OP's girlfriend have to find it repulsive? Is it not possible to have a principled stance against something while not being physically repulsed? I'm just searching here for any indication that OP's gf being friends with someone who does pornography a negative mark on her own character simply because she doesn't actively eliminate anybody who has to do with it from her entire social circle. >I don't want to speak for him, but for me, any kind of promiscuity is wrong because it's destabilizing to relationships and encourages people to treat each other as disposable amusements.Sure. I don't understand what that has to do with OP's girlfriend. She doesn't do porn. Of what relevance is it to his GF that other people in their social bubble choose to do things that destabilize their own relationships?
>>33878298Nothing you're describing is unique at all to left-leaning people or sex work. You're just describing how people atomize into heavily politicized social groups. >yeah, it spreads.I guess its just a different in ethics. Moreso its just kind of contradictory with the espoused conservative ethos that refusing to be friends with people over "politics" is immature. Isn't that the entire right-wing "engage in discourse and the good ideas will rise to the top" philosophy? Regardless of what side of the aisle OP is on this sex worker virus spreading theory just doesn't add up.
>>33878322>Except HE would want to leave HER. If she changes as a person, then her value as a partner doesn't stay constant to him.If you suspect that your partner might suddenly change into a completely different person with completely different values if they're at all exposed to any outside stimuli that's an argument to lock her up in the basement. Its a thing that's literally impossible to control if you the person you're dating leaves their house or speaks to other people. >If that's insecurity, then insecurity is logically equivalent to having boundaries and preferences in a partner.Setting boundaries for your partner because you don't trust them to set boundaries for themselves is malignant insecurity of the worst kind. Either that or you're dating a 13 year old.
>>33878375>With vegetarianism they can argue that physical creatures who can suffer and feel pain are dying. Meanwhile everybody, in principal, who engages with pornography does so willingly.Not the point. I wasn't talking about which values are more important (you're implicitly referring to values of freedom/consent and harm reduction) or the intensity of the wrong. Only which are contextually more relevant. I.e. interacting with someone with radically opposed values on human interaction.>Why does OP's girlfriend have to find it repulsive?Why is it so confusing to you? If she doesn't find it repulsive, then she tolerates it to some extent, and to someone who does find it repulsive, that in and of itself is a problem. End of story. She can even claim she doesn't personally approve, that claim can even be completely genuine, and it still wouldn't matter, because it is still proof positive that she doesn't share the value in question.>Of what relevance is it to his GF that other people in their social bubble choose to do things that destabilize their own relationships?People don't exist in a vacuum. They are influenced by their surroundings, and in turn they have a great deal of choice about what those surroundings will be. Having a grossly immoral friend isn't something that just "happens" and then poofs out of existence as soon as it isn't the immediate subject of attention. It's a deliberate choice, a result of her moral choices (or lack thereof), and an ever-present negative influence on her life (one which she would be the first to acknowledge if she actually shared the moral revulsion towards whores).Even if it were in a vacuum, though, as I've said, the fact that others are disgusted by those types of people is enough reason for them to expect someone with the same values.
>>33878380>If you suspect that your partner might suddenly change into a completely different person with completely different valuesIt's not a sudden change. There are two related issues here. First is the simple red flag of what it says about her--that the person she *already is* isn't what he thought her to be. Second is the risk of gradual acceptance, which is bad enough. People do change their beliefs, and women in particular are likely to mold them for the sake of getting along with others. Why do you think the West went from calling homosexuality a mental illness to celebrating it incessantly in the span of 50 years? Or, for that matter, why we went (in the same timespan) from arresting people for selling non-nude but "immodest" images to having them plastered across every other advertisement, while a good chunk of the population now thinks hardcore pornography is normal? Because people, especially those who don't already have strongly formed beliefs, will change with exposure. At minimum, they become desensitized.>Setting boundaries for your partner because you don't trust them to set boundaries for themselvesIf he were physically preventing her from having friends he doesn't approve of, I agree. But that's not what a boundary means to anyone mentally stable. It's about what he will or will not accept in a partner. She's free to be friends with whores. He's free to break up over it. Nor do I think an ultimatum is justified or productive.
>>33877670I get along with my brother-in-law who's an actor. Does that mean I have the personality to be one too?
>>33878193>>33878238Why is depression and mental illness so common with porn stars?
>>33878912Seriously, once they're outed they try their best to remove any content or end up killing themselves.All those from GirlsDoPorn claimed they had their lives ruined.
>>33877661Are you worried she'll dyke out with her?
>>33877661Bad influences are bad influences.
>>33877661Ask your gf if it would be ok for you to be in a porn with her friend
>>33877913all this bullshit sounds great when you're young and pretty. that's if you manage to avoid alcohol, drugs, predatory people and pimps running the business. even if you magically do:later in life>looks fade>good potential partners run away from you when they find out you're former whore>your degenerate 'fans' send pics to friends and coworkers, everywhere you try to start anew>if you have children they get bullied>you turn to acohol/drugs and your looks fade even faster>then you KYS
>>33878377I never said it was unique to left leaning people. You did. I addressed "why does sex work spread like a social contagion" - it is very relevant to bring up the socio political culture within that specific demographic and the tribe they associate with. I've gave a sincere and respectful attempt at explaining that this happens. I've absolutely seen in my life how it clusters and spreads. One woman starts doing OF in her group of friends and within a few months it's certainly a plausible outcome that there will be a few others associated to her doing it. I don't get to point to data or statistics to back this up and you'd have to trust my anecdotal evidence submitted on 4chan - which is fair enough to be indifferent towards. This is what I've seen though. Frankly I ain't gonna be over associating with OF girls because woven deeply into them tends to be a deeply selfish / self involved streak. I've done my time affiliating with these types of women and found them to all carry a psyche tainted by vanity, ego and some questionable attitudes towards men/society. My feeling towards OF specifically is that the women engaging in this are very predatory types who exploit our most damaged men and deliberately lean in on parasocial relationships and loneliness. Sex is their weapon. Attention their fuel. Instability essential. It's not political when I distance myself.Any OF woman I spent time with (a few) through meeting on tinder, I found their values to be below the level I would want. It is not just some cute side hobby they do. It's something that has really tilted their perspective on life, themself and prospective relationships. A deeply woven transactional attitude takes hold in interactions. It's not until they are out of that world, have flushed themselves down the toilets and realise they are a bit fucked up that they get better.
Women having dogshit tier female friends is the worst thing you can deal with. All you can hope for is your friend is smart enough to not follow the same path.
