start sniffing or just bleach the whole carpet KEK

>>33883131
Drench the room in buckets of cum so no one can spot a little spill.

>>33883131
Just wake them up and tell them. What are they going to do? Huh?

>>33883131
would anyone even be able to tell its cum after a while?

>>33883131
Is every single person who posts frogs mentally retarded

>>33888039
It's like a shibboleth

>>33888039
yeah probably

>>33884163
I typically swallow my cum to hide it but I nutted to fast and it went through my fingers
>>33888030
lol
>>33888033
My parents are deeply conservative and don't know I watch porn, they think I'm looking for jobs at midnight.
>>33888035
No but wouldn't it dry out after a while? We have a dog too.
>>33888039
rude

>>33888048
>My parents are deeply conservative and don't know I watch porn, they think I'm looking for jobs at midnight
All the more reason to confess and stone for your sins. Quick anon, before it's too late.

>>33883131
get a flashlight nigga

>>33888048
>I typically swallow my cum to hide it but I nutted to fast and it went through my fingers
stop doing that it's gross

>>33888052
>stone
I think it's atone. Also, no. The last time they found out I watched porn they took away everything and I had to promise to not fap for a very long time.
>>33888056
It's long gone now. My cum has become one with the enviorment

>>33888063
Well your next best bet is to tell your parents a burglar broke in and raped you.

>>33888072
how could I convince them that that happened? Nothing is missing in the house. Should I purposelly throw away valuable things so it looks like it's stolen? WHat if they call the cops and they search the place and the police find my cum all over the living room?

>>33888078
Claim it's not yours. Tell them he stole your virginity and left.

>>33888084
but they can do a DNA test, right? i heard that the police can force you to ejaculate infront of them for evidence

>>33888087
yeah this happened to me the other day

>>33888092
what did?

>>33888087
You could jack off some guy outside and plant his ejaculation on your carpet. That way if they test yours, say the burglar made you orgasm

>>33888095
i nutted on police to help with their investigation

>>33888101
but we have motion detetcers, and also that's gat/

>>33888108
*gay

>>33888108
Alright well tell them he finished inside you and made you orgasm all over the carpet. Problem solved.

>>33888113
what the fuck is this gay shit? My parents are religious remember I cant tell them that a guy raped me inside their hosue and thats why my cum is in the living room

>>33888123
I'm giving you perfectly reasonable excuses so your religion parents don't find out to nutted all over their furniture willingly. You're on your own.

>>33888130
no dude i need another way. Could I get a black light? where do you buy one?

>>33888063
>It's long gone now. My cum has become one with the enviorment
then what's the problem?
they won't find it will they?

>>33888139
hardware store might have one
sometimes dollar stores will have shitty ones as a novelty, i think

A black light would make quick work, but be prepared to achieve cursed knowledge

>>33888165
i mean it's still there but i can't see it. Well i guess you're right but i fear the day that comes when they do find it, you never know what could happen. How long does cum last before it loses it's signature DNA that can be linked to you?
>>33888169
anyway to make easy money? I have $0.57 or 57 cents.
>>33888172
>but be prepared to achieve cursed knowledge
?

>>33888177
>Well i guess you're right but i fear the day that comes when they do find it, you never know what could happen. How long does cum last before it loses it's signature DNA that can be linked to you?
i do sometimes worry about that as well
i had an incident while sleeping over at a friend's house, there's a handprint and a stain on the outside of a sheet metal shed, kinda burned into it almost
i thought it would wash away
>anyway to make easy money? I have $0.57 or 57 cents.
hmmm...
if there's a pawn shop nearby you could maybe find something to sell, if you have no other options
idk really

i doubt they'll find it anon

>>33888180
what if i jerk off and it happens again? sometimes i wrap my pillows around my penis and imagine someone is riding me and i cum in them and they've gotten really stale when i rest my head on them. I doubt that they've thought anything of it but if they follow my suspicious behavior they may decide to check my room which is a big nono for me

>>33888183
>i cum in them and they've gotten really stale when i rest my head on them.
don't do that
probably go bald that way
wash your pillowcases regularly, it'll help your scalp and hair and face and ears be healthier/cleaner
just develop a better workflow of some kind if you really need to do this

>>33888189
wait cum on your head makes you bald? What will it do if it's in your mouth regularly? I usually have to go pee a lot when I eat my cum

>>33888192
>I usually have to go pee a lot when I eat my cum
probably your kidneys or liver filtering it or somethihng
>wait cum on your head makes you bald?
no but having a dirty scalp makes you go bald faster/younger, and pillowcases are often too dirty anyway
they should be cleaned twice a week ideally, but shoot for once every 1-2 weeks at the very least, and don't cum on the ones you use for your head anymore

>>33888206
will it look suspicious that I'm always cleaning my dirty pillows?

>>33883131
>and I came so hard that my cum flew
Years of gooning (before it was in) anxiety/depression have unable my capacity to do that.

>>33883131
pffffhahahaha congrats you made me laugh out loud today
turn off the lights close the curtains and use a blacklight it will make it glow when shined upon, same as with blood.

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2.28 MB GIF

>>33883131
yeah your cooked buddy

why are pepeposters so dumb?