Me (30M) and my gf (21F) are in a long distance relationship and we don’t have a lot of time that we can see each other. Mainly due to her job being the way it is. She was supposed to fly down during the week of Thanksgiving but her job decided to have all the workers come in that week and only gave them 2 days off. My family was really looking forward to seeing her again and introducing her to family that she hasn’t met yet. We haven’t seen each other in person since August and we’re both angry over this whole thing. She’s got it in her head that she’s going to pay off her student loans ($2K) and then save up some emergency funds ($5K) before she goes and gets another job. I told her to quit now and come down for a month so she can relax and spend time with me (also to get away from the snow). Not only that but she’s already missing out on a huge vacation that all of our mutual friends are going on in January. I offered to pay off the rest of her student loans on top of giving her money every week to support her while she finds a different job. But she’s getting pissed off at me over it. Her and I agreed that eventually when we’re married that I’d be the one working and she’d be a stay at home mom. I don’t mind that she works until kids come into the picture. That’s up to her. By the way, this is a job that is miserable and she absolutely hates it. She’s been wanting to quit for months. She hasn’t found another one because “the job market is bad”, even though I told her I’d pay for her whatever she needed. I just want her to not miss out on stuff while the stress keeps crushing her every day. But for some reason it’s coming off to her wrong. What do I do? I’m halfway tempted to just give her the money for her loans and tell her to pay it off so she has no excuse.
>>33883900>long distance relationshipso you're pen pals. cool. not a real relationship though, no matter how hard you wish otherwise.
>>33883918Spent plenty of time together in person already and she plans to move down in the next year once she’s paid everything off. Do you have any actual advice or are you just a faggot?
>>33883931>Do you have any actual adviceDated my wife (f) (28 years now) long distance for the first year of our relationship, so I do indeed have a great deal of solid advice for you, but your foul mouth and bad attitude have reminded me about the old adage of not casting pearls before swine, so ... no.
>>33883939So you were in the same spot but then act like a faggot towards someone who is looking for advice on it? Ok
What kind of retard would prioritize "a huuuge super fun vacay!!! chillax away from da snow!" over paying off debt. You should be happy she told you to fuck off.As for why she doesn't want to risk her livelihood for an allowance from you, it's because she either has doubts concerning you as a partner (reasonable, it's only a long distance relationship so you've basically been a random internet pal so far) or concerning giving up her financial independence later on. Either way, she isn't ready to take you up on your offer. You've let her know the option there and all you can do is wait for her to sort her shit out. Pressuring her will push her away.
>>33883959Hey dumbass, I offered to pay off all her debt so she wouldn’t feel pressured to work that job anymore. Furthermore, I’m going to give her as much money as she needs while she looks for another one. I’m more than capable financially of this. This job has her leaving the house at 4 AM and not coming home until 6 PM. She fucking hates it and it’s ruining her life. I’m offering her a way out and she won’t take it.
>>33883966>I’m going to give her as much money as she needs while she looks for another oneWhat if you meet a hotter girl? What if she runs into Chad? What if one of you changes their mind or gets hit by a car? Then she's jobless and homeless.Giving up your employment to hang out with some hot stud is not a risk anyone with a functional brain will take, even if she really really likes that stud and is considering on marrying him.>I offered to pay off all her debt so she wouldn’t feel pressured to workShe agreed to do that once she's become certain of your quality as a partner. To stop working once you marry. She doesn't trust you enough for that yet. If things don't work out her life could be ruined because she tanked her career and income for you, even if the unemployment was meant to be temporary.
>>33883986With her current situation, she wouldn’t be homeless and she’d have enough support until she found a job if, God forbid, something like that were to happen. She knows this too. She told me she’s going to quit this particular job and then come down to see me for a couple months once her debt is paid off anyway. I’m just expediting the process. This isn’t a “career”. She’s a drone in a factory that treats their workers like shit. She knows she has to get the fuck out of there but she won’t because she’s complacent. As far as trusting me, that’s what I’m trying to show her. I can be trusted if she’d let it happen.
>>33883900I looked over this thread and I won't read any further because OP is an obtuse, subhuman moron who reacts inappropriately to anyone who questions his position on anything (and that's probably why the woman is annoyed). Nothing can be done here, anons.
>>33884065Well when you start the response with an attack, that tends to happen. Also, you clearly don’t understand the situation because everyone that knows us personally is in agreement with me on this. She tells me every day how she’s stressed, tired, and angry because she’s missing out on things and doesn’t have any time to relax. She’s only prolonging her problems by doing this.
