>dated a girl bout three years ago>within five months she was asking if I was ready to move in together the following year>was hesitant and she broke up with me (was working a shitty low paid job at the time)>still close and dated again>by the end of the year wanted to know if I'd be ready to get married the following year and for us to buy a house together>said I couldn't promise that and we broke up (my bad, sure)>reached out wishing her well a month or so later (I told her when we met that I would be her friend even if things didn't work out)>we stayed on friendly terms, saw each other once in a while, was clear there were still something there but I didn't want to string her along since she kept going on about wanting to get married>she asked for advice about things sometimes, helped her with certain things, gave her rides occasionally since she has no car (she was in a tricky place so don't regret that)>basically ended up on friendly terms with a bit of romantic/sexual tension>two months ago asked me to give her a ride to the airport an hour or so away very early in the morning and pick her up the following day late evening>assumed she was visiting a female friend in that place (she mentioned a girl she knew living there or thereabouts)>this week asked me to do the same (didn't offer to pay gas either time)>on the way there asked about it and she said she was visiting her new boyfriend>told her that it wasn't on and said she should find a new ride back>she said I wasn't being a good friend like I said I would be>didn't apologise or anything and we parted in silenceAm I wrong to think that isn't a fair thing to ask of a friend who is also an ex (and who only isn't still with you because of being hesitant to marry)? I feel like she was rubbing my nose in it.
Atreus, you need to be better men
To be clear:>she met this guy long after we had broken up (no issue with that) during a brief holiday>as far as I can tell logistically he is not offering her anything like marriage or to live with her since her life is rooted in the area we both live inAm I wrong to basically respond to any future message of hers (like her asking me tomorrow about the ride back I promised her) or to even message her and say: "Good look for the future, but please don't contact me again"If she had told me she was dating someone else I'd have no problem, especially if it was clear that the new guy seemed like he would want to get married pretty quickly and had a place to offer her to live, but as far as I can tell it's some holiday fling who she is now meeting up with once a night every couple of months, which is much less than what she had with me in terms of commitment and long-term stuff. I don't want to turn back on my offer of being a friend to her regardless, but I also feel this was a step too far in basically humiliating me.
>>33884421Can I ask for some practical advice? I've tried to be a halfway decent guy, and I'm not saying I was 100% in the right in all of this.
bump please respond
beg for forgiveness and drive her to the bull, like the good cuck you are
>>33884465I realize how it looks and I'm not trying to argue that I'm not the cuck in this situation. Believe me I know this and feel pathetic already.I'm just trying to understand specifically whether I am overreacting thinking her request was basically very cruel, or whether I asked for this by saying I'd be her friend and not cutting her off. She seemed to think it was okay and said I wasn't being a friend by complaining when I found out (during the ride there) that she was meeting a guy.
she's 100% right. she gave you the chance, told you what she expected, and gave you time to accept or move on. you're being a little bitch by not moving on. if you didn't want her to see someone else, you could have married her, you didn't want that, so you shouldn't be dwelling on her. you are literally expecting her to waste her best years while you don't make a solid decision
>>33884482I have no problem with her moving on in the past two years since we dated, it's why I didn't text her more often and offer to go out etc. When we met she was in a very difficult place financially and in terms of living arrangements, so a part of the relationship involved offering support which I think I honored.My specific question is whether it is wrong or acceptable for her to ask me to wake up at 4am on a Saturday to drive her an hour to meet her new boyfriend for the night and pick her up the following evenings, without telling me advance that was what was happening.After we broke up the second time I reached out to wish her well (knowing her situation was still insecure) and initially said not to contact her again. I respected that and didn't until she got back in touch with questions etc. We got kind of close then but she said it wasn't a real relationship and told me not to contact her again, and again I respect it and did not. She then got in touch again to go see her and we went a couple of places together, I gave her a ride a few times (not to hookup with anyone) and stuff like that. But even then she was talking about how she wanted to get married real badly so I didn't cross the line again because I didn't want to lead her on. But now she is basically dating this guy she met on a brief holiday and realistically (afaik) has no potential to live with or get married to and who lives several hours away - which is fine, only she also expects me to have no negative reaction to being asked to drive her to his place and not ask for gas money even.
>>33884482>you're being a little bitch by not moving onSo when she has been in touch several times to ask for advice about certain things (she is a single mom), or to help her look at a vehicle she was going to purchase, or to help her set up stuff in her new place, or give her a ride to visit her parents, should I just have ghosted her and not responded?
>>33884625doormat energy KEK
You aee the most pathetic form of life OP and I live my life in fear of ever becoming like you.
>>33884629To be clear (though I accept your summary - I'm not trying to fight the cuck accusation): she is not from my region and moved here by herself with her kid. She had nobody who could help her with certain things and I tried to be more than just a sexual partner or whatever and helped her in other ways because I felt for her and her kid - I felt that way even after we broke up, and thought she apreciated it. Like at our workplace I talked to management and had her hours changed (something they were very unwilling to do for most, but management trusted me) so she could see her son more. Fine if I was or became a doormat, but I was trying, for better or worse, to both develop a relationship with her while also not neglecting the shit in her life which was very unstable, because I felt protective of her and her kid.
>>33884648kek>>33884655you are a "good friend" until you stop being useful. Also no one is impressed with all this nice guy shit LOL
>>33884398>said I couldn't promise that and we broke up (my bad, sure)Fuck no. You dodged a major bullet, twice. Go out tonight, treat yourself and celebrate that you avoided ruining your life. Any woman pushing foir this much committment at such a rapid speed with the threat of breaking up immediately otherwise is explicitely looking for Beta Bux. Thank your lucky stars for your life being your own and not having to deal with a dirvoce now. And never ever engage with such a woman ever again unless its jsut the most casual of fucking.
>>33884679I'm genuinely not trying to impress anyone, not consciously at least. I'm basically explaining why we were still talking etc despite having broken up, or at least why I didn't just ghost her when we did break up.Anyway thanks for the replies.
