I love my wife immensely but I never intended for our relationship to get this far. She was my first. My first GF and also took my virginity. I couldn't stand to break her heart even though I always knew she wasn't the one.I love her dearly as a friend but the longer I am with her the more I realize that she has none of the qualities that I want from a wife. And every time I have tried to encourage her to be more like the way I wish she was she has brushed it off. It's apparent to me now that she will never be what I want but I feel like I'm too deep in now to do anything. She says she loves me so much. She says I am her dream man. I am attractive, have a prestigious career. I hate to say it but I feel like I am out of her league. But I did not realize that until much later and now I feel resentment when I lay next to her in bed at night because she doesn't even make an attempt to be the woman I want her to be even though I have sacrificed so much to be the perfect husband for her.Anyone else been here?
You should have listened to that Ferris Bueller fellow
Your entire post is so milquetoast and bland. No specifics. BORING. Is that your personality IRL?
>>33886186Here are some options,1. See a therapist2. Divorce your wife3. If you have kids, tough shit. Your responsibility is to keep an intact home for them.
>>33886186Sounds exactly like the situation with my ex, but it was an unmarried relationship of three years. First gf, mid-20s. We lived together for one year. During that last year we fought more. Really, it was me bringing up things about her that I wanted to see changed in her behavior and personality, and she never made active attempts to make me happy. She had very little emotional intelligence and could not communicate well. Very childish behavior. It stewed and grew worse until we just stopped talking. She initiated the breakup, because I was too weak to do it myself. I was content with staying a while longer because she cooked dinner, had a very attractive body, and was slightly racist (I am extremely racist), but that was basically all I liked about her. Very obvious class difference. This was three months ago. Im less stressed now, but am admittedly lonely.We'll all find the wives for us some day, anon. Sometimes sad things need to happen, that's just life. Do not settle and suffer and grow contemptuous. Rip the bandaid off now.Wishing you the best.
>>33886186If she is loyal that's good. Mess with the girl who wants you, not the one you want. Trust me. You will regret it
>>33886186Your job isn't to be her perfect husband but the perfect father to your kids.
>>33886485Thanks for the reply I really appreciate it. There are several things I like about my wife and several that I don't which makes it even harder.I like that she is supportive of me and my dreams. I like that she keeps the house clean and cooks food even though she is not very good at it. I like that her vagina is always available. I don't like that she is a 4/10 who doesn't even try to put more efforts into her look. I dislike how she is a normie with normie white girl political beliefs that she doesn't even fully understand. I dislike how she is comfortable casually roasting me when I feel like I deserve the utmost respect.>>33886524She is loyal at least.>>33886427>>33886542We actually have a kid on the way and it's making me feel even more trapped. I'm feeling just like my father who left me before I was even born. Never even met him. I always hated his guts for that.
>>33886558>We actually have a kid on the way and it's making me feel even more trapped. I'm feeling just like my father who left me before I was even born. Never even met him. I always hated his guts for that.I don't know about the situation with your wife but love that kid and you'll feel less trapped. The wife is secondary and her behavior, unless it physically or financially messes with you or you kid doesn't matter in-terms of marriage.
>>33886186What qualities you would like she doesn’t have?
>>33886643It's really only two. If she could do these two things it would alleviate a lot of the regret that I have.1. Make a concerted effort to be attractive and appeal to my sense of beauty2. Share my values or at the very least hold a neutral position not against my values
>>33886666it's not her job to change her looks or values for you, you should've figured that out before marriage, unless she's drastically changed
>>33886186>I hate to say it but I feel like I am out of her leaguelol, dude. You are going to get raped in the dating market. Good luck you arrogant retard.
>>33886666>i will be as vague as possible
>>33887012It literally is her job to align her values with those of her husband.
>>33886186Just cheat on her and dont get caught she sounds dumb enough to not realize you're cheating
I was sort of in the same situation, except we never got to the marriage part. First gf, first kiss, first hug, etc. As the relationship went on, I eventually proposed. It felt wrong. I felt pressured and rushed. I didn't like her enough to get married. When marriage was approaching, I told her I got cold feet, and she broke up with me. That was the best thing she could've done for both of us. I was too scared to break up with her. I never got to be where you're at, so I can't really give you any advice, but I sort of understand how you feel; if that helps at all.
>>33886666Let go of this needing her to align politically or whatever. Trying to see eye to eye with women on politics is a fools errand. Just say yeah whatever, you’re right, now let’s fuck.In terms of the beauty thing, she probably isn’t making an effort because she feels like she has you locked down. You need to make her feel like you aren’t locked down, and that you could easily get other women, because you can. You have looks and status. Married men are more attractive to women anyways. Even going as far as flirting with other women in front of your wife will make you more attractive to her, and make her want to be more attractive for you and fuck you harder because she wants to keep you locked down. If she doesn’t, then you can have affairs.The insults from her, those are shit tests. If you react by defending yourself or showing that you’re offended at all, you failed the shit test. Only way to win those is to be genuinely unbothered by them, because your opinion means more than hers. You can playfully respond, ignore her, there’s many options. Just don’t get offended. You’re the man in the relationship, she needs to know that you are strong in yourself and could give a fuck less about some insult. And DEFINITELY don’t change yourself because of her insults.I know some of this sounds counterintuitive, but this is genuine marriage advice that will make both you and her happier. And at the end of the day it’s just advice man-to-man. If she’s not good enough at the end of the day, we move on brother. You can get lots of girls, you need to have this mindset, even in marriage, because it’s true and necessary
>>33886186Take a page out of the boomer book and spend the rest of your life making I hate my wife jokes. You will be the coolest guy at the bar
>>33886666>All I care about it looks and I married a woman I think is uglyYou deserve everything you get you absolute retard.
>>33886186See if you even can get another chick, the grass is almost never greener at the other side.
>>33886186You sound like an accountant or a tax guy.All that matters are the answers to the following questions 1) do you have children?2) how old are you and her?
>>33886186That's how women are. She expects her man to cater to her whims, but she refuses to change who she is for her man.
>>33886186Tried to post this yesterday, but I was banned for talking about food stamps in a food stamp thread. Fuck mods.I was with a girl for 3 years that was absolutely obsessed with me and would talk to me all day every day and would do anything I wanted and was basically my best friend. We had opposite political opinions, but that's really not that big of a deal you just say whatever and fuck it out like the other anon said. She couldn't cook for shit and was kind of a slob. I always felt kinda embarrassed by her though because she was immature and not especially ambitious, and didn't really take care of her body even though it wasn't anything crazy she was still sexy thick.I left her for an older woman who was more "conventionally" attractive, who seemed more classy and put together, self motivated, higher expectations for life and living standards, amazing cook, not to mention had an insanely high sex drive.This was the worst decision I have ever made in my life. I miss that cute dorky bubbly girl who would always put me first no matter what with every ounce of my soul. I have never resented anyone more than the 2nd girl who turned out to be shallow, self centered, and a completely fake loser because all she cared about was appearances, as I continually bent over backwards for her sacrificing myself and my dignity for whatever scraps of attention she would send my way whenever it was convenient for her.OP, I suggest you stop being such an entitled faggot and focus on what you do have and not some ideal version of whatever your (probably unwarranted) ego thinks you deserve. Plenty of guys make good money and go to the gym. You think that makes you some kind of alpha or something? You're delusional. Any woman who likes you for those qualities will drop you just as fast the moment you give her the chance.
>>33886186Women get to simppy be. Men must become.Women will never sacrifice for you, and will never stop demanding sacrifices from you. This is just the nature of things and you need to deal with it. Other women would be the same.
