So after almost a decade of relying on dating apps I have deleted them all and decided to let go of trying to control the outcomes.I have also accepted that I do not have the constitution nor personality type for cold approaching to be a viable option.I am not hopeless. I have friends and I am attending social events more and more and while I am terrified of dying alone part of me is excited to see how I will handle it.The issue is that I lack faith. I have never understood how people can believe that "thongs will work themselves out in the end" which is a notion with no proof or guarantee. I want to believe. I want to stop being afraid of the idea that I might never find love ever again. I want to walk blindly but I do not know how to quiet the accumulative doubts.Please help me. I want to be a human again.
>>33889514I am one of these people and it's just a lie you tell yourself because the alternative is some form of endless anxiety and generally bad vibes (as you know). You need to stop thinking about it. You need to sit there and practice not thinking about it. The more you practice the better you are at lying to yourself. Eventually you'll just internalize that everything will end up fine and really believe it. It's not like you'll wake up one day and a switch will be flipped and you'll never have doubts again but you can substantially curtail your negative thoughts.
>>33889514What do you need help with? You describe two separate things. Firstly, *everyone* faces death alone, despite sappy movie scenes of the old person in a hospital bed surrounded by her loving family. At the end it will be you alone who faces death, or you and God.; I reserve judgement on the latter possibility. It is self-evident that there is a Mind of some kind behind creation, but whether it cares about a mere atom like you or me is a question that I don't know the answer to.So, like (from an old Readers Digest) George Washington Carver asking what is the purpose of a peanut, disregard the meaning of existence for now and consider only the problem that you can actually address, which is finding companionship and maybe love.I agree that cold approaches are awful, but I realized that the tiniest excuse for acquaintance gets your foot in the door, transforming a cold approach into a reason to suggest going for coffee or lunch. Making that transition as seamless as possible (while not wasting time) is the art. The best advice I can offer is to closely observe and imitate men who do this successfully. And ignore the blackpillers whining about "chad."
>>33889816See I don't think that I want to stop the negative thoughts and anxiety but rather become okay with them/think of them as a part of the natural environment. I want to thoroughly think about the consequences and then do it anyway.>>33889825>I agree that cold approaches are awful, but I realized that the tiniest excuse for acquaintance gets your foot in the door, transforming a cold approach into a reason to suggest going for coffee or lunch. >Making that transition as seamless as possible (while not wasting time) is the art. >The best advice I can offer is to closely observe and imitate men who do this successfully. I am willing to learn. It is just that so far such approaches have felt disingenuous which would be plain to see for the person that I am approaching and most likely read as a generalised sense of "ulterior motives". I can't be singing in someone elses voice, you know?
bump
