Hi anonsI became employed as a clinical assistant for my gap year between graduating with a B.S. biology degree and medical school applications. I first tried getting research technician/laboratory technician jobs (applied to all within 75 miles), and none moved past the interview (I'm hypothetically employable in the field since I was a high GPA student + undergrad thesis and wet lab research [unpublished] + major contributions to a published paper with a professor [second author], but the field's employment is grim for a B.S. and I simply wasn't the best out there I guess). I trained to be a clinical assistant with a company for a month + another month of waiting while they placed me(?), but now I'm headed to day three of my job on monday.I hate it so much. I feel internal panic all day long and my pulse is resting at 120bpm during work hours. I'm socially clumsy with patients, but I put on a passable facade. I've been filled with dread all weekend and I just got done with a messy, uncontrolled breathing fit / some crying in bed. I don't know if I'm actually socially anxious, or if I'm being a child, or if it's something else entirely, but I genuinely fucking hate my life right now. I don't know what to do. If I quit, I'll be blacklisted if I ever want to try it again. And hell, I need patient contact hours to help with my med school applications. But what the FUCK is the point of my life for the past four years anyhow if I'm too fucked up to work a 9-5 with patients? I just want to do pathology so that I won't have to be around many people, but I know I'll have to man up and deal with it during my medical student/interning phase.I'm rambling. I don't fucking know anons, help me out. What the fuck do I do?
>>33890971New jobs are always awful. Stick it out for two weeks and see if you still want to die. You may find that you fall into a routine with patients where you dont have to think about how you're acting as much, something tolerable enough to deal with until you end up in a lab where you want to be.
>>33890971>I'm socially clumsy with patients, but I put on a passable facadeThen why are you looking to go to medical school...?It will be even worse when you have to treat patients, because there is liability associated with treating patients, and the only way for a physician to directly control the liability is by building trust with the patients.I still am socially clumsy with patients (I'm a dentist, by the way), but I learned to make up for it with no bullshit confidence. This took me longer to develop than any clinical skill.Seeing a shrink helped.Even if you're socially clumsy, as long as you show the patients that you're doing everything you can to address their primary concerns while considering their overall circumstances, you can still earn their trust and respect most of the time.Aside from being courteous, you don't have to be social. You do however need to come off as knowing what you are doing and being comfortable at it. The patients will know then that you are confident in your job. They'll have to feel that you are dependable. I'd say that matters far more than the social skills. Nevertheless, it is stil important to develop social skills, because it can help you get you out of trouble (e.g. running late, having to reschedule appts, need to explain something bad, etc).I’m not sure what your clinical assistant role entails, but if you're determined to go to medical school, think of this as your boot camp, a kind of basic training for what's ahead.Even if you plan on doing pathology, you still need at least the no bullshit confidence especially to deal with other physicians. Believe me, they are even worse to deal with (a LOT of self-important fuckwits).So I wouldn't say you are too fucked up to work a 9-5 with patients. You just have a head start on learning the skills that your med school likely won't teach you well, if at all.I bet in 8 years time you will look back and smile about it.Hope this helps.
>>33890971First week on ANY job is hell. Give yourself at least 2 weeks before you decide whether to panic.
