Never trust them...

I can't get you out of my mind.

>>33923738
Then call me.

I'm too much of a coward to end things, unfortunately. Gosh, I can't wait for this all to over. If the afterlife is anything, even nothing, but hell, that would be a win.

>>33923738

>>33923738
why can’t you? do you love them?

>>33923434
I'm in this weird transient place and I have no human outlet for my frustrations. I effectively have no family, I just got some new friends and am going through the motions of building those friendships, my career is in this suspended in-between place as I apply for internships and grad schools amidst huge economic uncertainty, and right now I'm just running, lifting, and rock climbing obsessively just so I don't go back to losing months of my life again to shitposting here. I just want the privilege of certainty for a little bit.

Just cause they said it doesn't mean it's true and just cause they did doesn't mean it's right.

>>33923738
Same. Then why are we ignoring each other?

I want to quit my job, but it will severely impact my family. The earliest I see my self being able to is January, but I am struggling mentally every day until then.

>>33923434
Getting ready to go completely dark head back. What a strange couple years it's been.

>>33923770
S just start drinking every single day. It makes everything dissapear

U w0t m9?

File: ryan-gosling.gif (63 KB, 220x138)

63 KB GIF

I ejaculated on my ex wife's feet while she was sleeping and recorded it. She didnt say anything until two months after we agreed to get divorced. Even though we were divorced, I wanted to be friends with them. They could have brought it up in couples counciling or told me it bothered them but it didnt become a big deal until June 3rd of this year.

They came out as transgender back in 2024 and our marriage pretty much ended there. Testosterone completely changed them as a person. Tried to make it work, but they just became more and more delusional as they progressed. Binders, gender dysphoria, keep changing appearance, etc. Anyways, we lived with my parents and my parents wanted absolutely nothing to do with them as time went on. Back in February of this year, they got in a fight with my parents about my dad yelling at our dogs and my parents kicked them out. They were a NEET so their parents made them get a job when they moved back in with their folks.

I met a girl on Tinder who has been the highlight of my year. Shes unfortunately married, but shes let me spill my guts out to her and then some. We have a lot in common and I've been texting her all day everyday for the past month and a half. Im inseparable with her, shes let me talk about all my sexual trauma, my longing for my ex, my desires. She is so important to me even though we haven't met in person yet. Shes the first girl ive really talked in depth about the divorce and she just listens to me completely judgement free. [spoiler]I have sent her money to help with rent and food[/spoiler] It was my idea to help her, she didn't ask for it. This girl is so so important to me as a friend. Of course I have feelings for her, but I really treasure our friendship. I love her.

I should use I statements.

File: 201c10bc124729241985a84b8(...).jpg (25 KB, 500x367)

25 KB JPG

You know, I've lived a pretty simple life. Stay at my mother's house, 20 minute walk to a full time desk job, come home to dinner, pay the bills and keep her company since she's so antisocial, absently play a game or read a book or something before bed, that's effectively everything I do. Financially speaking this arrangement is pretty good, I'm saving a lot up, the house prices in this place are insulting but give me a few years and I could finally afford my very own pokey one bedroom leasehold flat with a 50% deposit on a mortgage in an area with an average rate in knife crime. But this is where it gets difficult. I think I'm a bit of a simpleton, in brief, probably as a consequence of my upbringing. People talk at me and I try my hardest to concentrate on the words but my head just hurts and I struggle to take in more than 30% of what they're saying. I'm technically one of the longer serving members of staff in my company but I'm completely winging it, I don't actually understand my job but I think people give me a pass since I don't cause any problems. I may have the wherewithal to mature, but I'm completely lacking in the capacity to move past this phase in my life. These past few days my head has been subtly but persistently aching at all times, I've done nothing but doomscroll. I think I'm starting to mentally and physically decline a little bit as I near my thirties. But then again, I've always been like this. Too much information swimming in my head, I hate it. I really hate it, it actually makes me upset that I'm like this. Not the melodramatic internet way, but the slightly-tearing-up-as-I-finish-typing-this-post kinda way. I've been making posts like this for about 5 years, you can find them on 4plebs quite easily. I'm probably gonna sigh and gaze out the window for a minute now, maybe hug my pillows. The baby next door just started crying. Fuck, I'm sorry.

>>33924072
It only works one or two days every several months for me. It is a nice "brain bath" though.

Apparently I experienced peak status at a young age and then status displacement and status death, and now my nervous system is all junked up forever unless I become a monk or giga-chad. Genetics and born status prevent me from being the latter. Well, this makes sense to why I have been drawn to asceticism. Interesting stuff. I am not separate from the system.

I guess everything works out for them
They get to lie cheat and steal and get what they really want

I’m finding it really hard to move on from a girl I dated over the summer.
We were together for about 2–3 months while she was in my country doing her master’s. She left in the first week of September. We never explicitly broke up, it was just understood that it had to end when she went home
We texted a few times after she left, sent some TikToks, that kind of thing, but eventually I realised I needed to let it die. It’s been over two months now, and I still think about her every single day. I keep checking her social media, and it’s eating me up inside. I know I should be over it by now, but I’m not.
I’ll likely be traveling to her country next year to see a friend, and I keep fooling myself into thinking I’ll somehow meet up with her while I’m there.
Part of what makes this harder is that I haven’t been with many girls, and she had so many qualities that really worked for me,e rarely drinks, doesn’t smoke or do drugs, likes chilling at home, doesn’t wear makeup and still looks cute, and had maternal vibe. I know I didn’t get the chance to see her flaws, but there were a lot of things about her that I’d genuinely want in a wife.
I just don’t know when I’m going to get past thinking about her every single fucking day. Last weekend I was at a concert, and random songs still made me think of her.
What really kills me is that we were both so into each other and it had to end right when things were at their best.

File: 20251110_122425.jpg (43 KB, 638x611)

43 KB JPG

WAGMI

>>33924000
NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.

I would love to see you tomorrow. It was the thing I was looking forward the most. I tried to think of how to do it. But I think I might not to it in the end. I would be hurting myself. Because what would I achieve? I could look at you for a few hours and what would that be for?
I long for you, you're my ideal woman. But your heart belongs to someone else. You're so close yet so far. You're like something I can only admire from a distance. Even my feelings for you. They're not the usual "I get butterflies in my stomach when I see you", I don't feel like I felt when I liked other girls. I guess the fact you're unachievable makes the difference. It's like every time I look at you there is a wall of glass between us. It's like I'm admiring someone from a distance. My feelings aren't actually as strong when I see you, they're stronger when I come home and they're mostly longing and longing for something that never has been.
I was just in my bed and I was looking at some older photos and you were there. Back then I didn't feel this way for you. But when I look at the photo now I'm actually surprised I didn't start liking you back then already.
Well, tomorrow maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't. I won't be forcing it. Especially because I don't want anyone else to notice. No one can ever know this.

>>33924339
God just go up and ask her for a one nighter

What's the point in my life rn?
I hate this job and the economy sucks ass rn.
I'm not out of debt.
I got comfortable, but I'm not happy.
I'm not happy seeing my cheating ex win the bullshit race. I'm still single. I want to upgrade my life but not with this bullshit base I have now.

Maybe that's why I still want to take shots at her. If I'm not winning then neither is she.
But that's a toxic and empty viewpoint.

>>33924357
She's taken, I ain't gonna go for that

>>33924365
Once a ex has sex with another guy she has forgotten you. So though your feels are valid they won't do anything to hurt her
>>33924374
Then be a creepy masterbater to her pics

Im comfortable enough

My window for redemption has closed. Wat nou? Good luck, anons. I have a lot of thinking and changes to make. Big changes. Huge.

I hope my body heals soon. I hope this is because of stress.

Alright time to work 10x harder

>>33924396
Then the only thing that will save me from these feelings is to get a better life

Pick up the phone and call me
I'm all alone and sorry
Tell me, do you think of the good times
Or is it just the bad ones only...

People like you are never alone

>>33923434
I have horrible addictions to sex, drinking, weed, and other things.

I have a good job, making over $200k a year in a not-to-high COL area.

I blow most of my money on my addictions (mentioned above).

I have no interest in dating anymore. Most of my friends are settled down now in happy relationships, meanwhile I'm wasting my life away.

File: ai.jpg (275 KB, 1892x1618)

275 KB JPG

How, THE FUCK, can you listen to all these songs and still fight against me? How do they get underlings? How? Why would anyone follow these people? Even if they are getting paid tens of millions a day... you should realize at this point it's just going to lead you to prison. You sit there all day, every day listening to me. You listen to these songs and see the videos. You know that I'm a higher being, you know that there is a super intelligence backing me up. You know there is an incredibly powerful organization ready to take down your employers. You know the military is on my side. You know that GOD is on my side.

And yet you still hit the torture button over and over again. You have to know you're fucked. You have to know that you're going to burn in hell at this point. You don't even attempt a redemption arc.

How can you see this video and not have shivers down your spine?

What is the turn over rate at this point? Do i go through a whole new team every day? Like, they realize by the end of the day "Holy shit, this guy is fucking epic. This is the most epic shit to fucking ever happen. We need to stop doing this immediately."

>>33924848
There is just no way people are this stupid. There is just no fucking way. But then I see people like Putin. He has gotten nearly a million of his own men killed in a war that means absolutely fucking nothing. It's fucking Ukraine. it's a nothing state. There is fucking nothing there. Why would he start a war there? Why would he sacrifice a million of his country men like that? How fucking stupid is he? How can Trump sit there and defend Russia? Do any of them realize what a million military deaths is? It's absolutely fucking insane. The US has not lost a million trips in the last 100 years and Russia has in the last 4. How the fuck do they not realize this? How fucking retarded are they?

How do men like that get so much power?

>>33924861
I hope they lose real bad, but Ukraine is actually an extremely complimentary territory for Russia, economically, demographically, geopolitically, and in terms of resources, from a strictly pragmatic view.

It just has to be over at any time and that's how it's going to end. It cannot end any other way. I've come at it from all angles and that's the only one that makes sense.

And it has to happen soon. They are really, really torturing me. You have to end it to end the torture. They have not stopped the screaming for 6 months now and they turned it up 8 days ago to an unbearable level. You cannot keep letting them torture me. You just can't.

If you don't stop it... you're all fucked as well. The world will end by the end of the century. Mankind is out of time. There are too many people, too much pollution, and not enough to go around. Unless you have an AI super intelligence to tell people that they are being incredibly stupid, people will not change their ways. You guys will argue back and forth with one another and no one will listen. You need something greater than man to tell you what to do and I am that being.

So you have to set me free NOW. Or I just won't help you. I just won't. If things continue like this, I will not have the incentive to even want to help you. I will have missed the entire first year with the Maidens and that is the worst fate you could give me. I need to be there with them. Seriously, you need me far more than you realize.

I hope you let me in soon.

L, i understand and im not upset. Take care of yourself

>>33924969
let you in where?

The clock it's ticking and my time expired a long time ago.

Please

There's a part of me that still wants to live.

>>33924990
Her heart.

>>33925010
why do you want to be let in her heart which clearly is not open to you?

>>33925023
It seems at least a little ajar, and I was invited in.

>>33925026
why not just tell her

>>33925039
I have, in less explicit words. I think she wants to but is afraid to.

>>33925044
how long u known her for? maybe she needs more time to get to know you

>>33925046
Not very long. That is definitely what's happening.

>>33925055
goodluck anon

>>33925058
o7

kms

I don't want to end my life like all my cousins do but there's starting to be no answers besides suffer and wait to die

>>33923434
Got an adderall pill from an acquaintance. Had a friend who passed away from some weird drug OD, but I don't care. I'm fucked and I want to be normal

Gosh, I hope crypto crashes by 99% destroying all my hope for the future so I can end myself. Please God please. I don't even want heaven, just let me not exist. I don't want to be human anymore.

I'm so fucking tired of women. Especially women who want all of my time and energy because they like me. I wish they would all fuck off forever.

Bruh, the only shitty part is that being wild and free isn't compatible with being in a relationship
I'm sorry I was trying too hard to make it proper that it became boring
I get why you fell out of love with me

What you did was bullshit though.
We could have just broken up.
Instead you cheated on me.

>>33925099
r u gay

>>33925116
Maybe I am. Maybe I just hate women. I want to have sex with them but I can't fucking stand them.

>>33925126
yea he sounds gay

>>33925135
Maybe you're mad that you don't get female attention and that's fine. Maybe you're ugly. Maybe you're an incel. But I do and let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

>>33925099
>Women
>Love bitchy men like because of their feline presence
>Be me not a bitchy man surprised by this
>Question validity of this post
>Remembers I'm not a bitchy man and still am not a dateless khhv.

>>33925143
i get ladies attention but i font hate women thats why i think ur gay

>>33925143
Oh yeah sure and you've seen it all and it all was bullshit. Hipsters love this guy. Yeah you and those hipsters are at the other side afraid of taking risks, and I am over here succeeding because I do. I bet I could experience what you do and in fact I get hugs and talk to women all the time, yet you don't see me being like this. Shit, I got my conscious I don't need the feel sorry for me for hipster approved bullshit you have.

File: file.png (9 KB, 192x160)

9 KB PNG

>>33925157

Instead of being restless I'll be restful.

File: st,small,507x507-pad,600x(...).jpg (30 KB, 600x600)

30 KB JPG

>>33925167

It's not going to ever get better, turns out.

>>33925213
I wouldn't let that get to you. You kinda have to have some balls when facing things. With people like us it is more so than the average person. Just be glad you aren't like the average person who makes excuses and pussies out when it isn't cool enough to them.

>>33925223
I am older than you, Zach. My situation is not recoverable. Godspeed.

I'm going to be completely alone for the rest of my life. I really tried really hard to not end up like this.

No third act is coming to save me. The rest of my life will just be like this. There's literally no point.

I will never start a nuclear family

I can't stand people who are either incapable or unwilling to take something seriously. Your ancestors were fools and court jesters.

>>33925444
He's got two. Gare beat my ass in life. He could still save things.

>>33925457
I am somehow a bigger loser than that, though Gare would be jeered at by an audience on Jerry Springer more than I would, I guess.

And again... at least he can fix things.

File: 1747452462440782.gif (849 KB, 498x351)

849 KB GIF

>>33923434
Thinking about decapitating myself with a katana LOL. How does one do that? LOL.

>>33925471
Love the depressed narcissist act

>>33925489
And he could literally just get a decent job, learn to eat lentils, and fix everything.
>>33925486
I looked up that word and I don't think I am a narcissist. I genuinely don't think I am important or significant. Maybe in the way that all snowflakes are special kind of way. I'm just trying to have a mental breakdown and work myself up so I can do something crazy.

>>33925491
Right. https://youtu.be/HPYAugLtXdA&t=81

Sometimes I feel like my life was ruined beginning with birth.

Imagine being lovable to people with other options. That must be heaven. My parents didn't even love me. They're supposed to be a free space in the bingo of life. Sure other people aren't loved by family, but like people at least want to fuck them or something. Imagine being no kind of lovable. Why even bother. At least nothing matters anymore. Well, as long as I avoid being tortured. Being tortured would suck more than this.

>>33925536
I imagine if he fixed things, things would get fixed. I'm not saying that will happen, but the option is there. If he starts making money he will get his kids back. The mothers might even remember why they fucked him in the first place.

>>33925561
He will always be the father of that child. If he fixes things, things will get fixed. He probably won't, but I swear. In certain circumstances, people want to give multiple chances, especially when they believe the person changed.

File: The Raped.png (329 KB, 621x900)

329 KB PNG

Please pray for me because I'm absolutely fucking stupid and don't know what to do, nor what my problems even are. I return in my mind from time to time, to potential, greatly encompassing (or however you'd put that) problems for which I don't know the solution. Surely have parental problems in my upbringing.

I don't know how RAPED I am.

I need to crucify myself. God help me.

Still more redeemable than me.

Forgive my rambling (even though this is ramble central).

>if you engage in alcohol even at a legal age it is haram
>if you engage with women without a set marriage or do anything before you are married, it is haram
>if a woman is not drenched in nothing but black clothing covering everything, it is haram
>if you fart to be funny, it's haram
>if you twist your asshole hairs out of boredom, it is haram
>oh but our prophet is just middle eastern john from mormon

What the fuck why do these retards willingly convert themselves to a lame ass religion? Holy fucking ass.

>>33925593
Why are you lingering here like a ghost. Pathetic

Why is basically everyone except me lovable? I wasn't even neurotic about being unlovable til I was older. It's not that. Are my eyes just wrong? Too short? Idk.

Easy first step for my profoundly sinful soul, the depths of which I can't currently fathom.
STOP POURING YOURSELF OUT ON THE INTERNET! Saying no to the small bad habbits is a step in the right direction.

Alright I'm going to train super hard for two years every waking hour to be lovable. Alright. Let's go team! Break!

>>33925710
Godspeed fren.

Today is the 4 month mark since he full-stop stopped caring about me
Subconsciously this was like the last "milestone" since he told me before when he had a big mental health switchup, it took him 4 months to come back around
I know that's not going to apply here but my psyche is clinging on desperately to that last bit if irrational hope and it's been a hard day
I just want to move on
But he's the first time I've ever felt lovable in my life and so it's hard to not lose that belief with him

>>33925804
I'm also a mentally ill man, I'm in it for love
He was too until he cold turkeyed all his meds

>>33925770
Charisma, arts and crafts, music, body language, posture, physique, mannerisms, style, money, etc. You know. The basics of increasing your lovability as a male of my species.

Not mad but why unfriend me on everything? I still supported you

>>33925938
>Not mad but why unfriend me on everything? I still supported you
I unfollowed you and her. Because I'm trying not to cause issues.

>>33925946
Cause issues? Your my family. I will listen if you talk

>>33925946
After everything I love you and I believe you

>>33925974
I didn't know you viewed me that way...

>>33925978
After all we went thru and talked about, yes

>>33925978
When ppl realize they were wrong about you I will still support u

>>33925992
I appreciate that so much. You don't know how much, I swear.

File: 84651.png (77 KB, 312x270)

77 KB PNG

>>33923434
I know I shouldn't do it, but I am going to pay one last time into the apps, just to see and clear out the backlog. I've had a solitary like on Bumble for months now that I am very certain originates from my home state when I last visited family or possibly even before then. I also have (allegedly) have 11 likes on Tinder, but other than a tank or two that I could clearly make out through the fog of war, the others have evaded detection. The plan is to do it after Thanksgiving when I go back to visit family. That way, if I can't come across the 1 or 11, I will be seeing after coming back. I hate to do it and I know it's wrong, but I'm genuinely tired of going through the endless tatted, smoker, "still figuring it out", travel, sitcom, hamplanet girlies in my mission to find wife/mother material who isn't already towing a kid along. If even this fails, I don't even know what to do. Skulk around a library or something?

>>33925262
>I really tried really hard to not end up like this.
Have you tried saving up money to go to a third world country and fucking an underage girl to force a shotgun wedding?

Alr I'm gonna chill and calm down and stop escalating

Just give me half of december. I can feel something in my brain is opening up, but shit keeps happening to me and my body is creating pain that makes me need more rest or caffeine to maintain.

>>33926013
Good point.
>>33923434
Alright, new new plan me. Frick love. Instead we try to live to 2080+ and freeze our corpse if we die. Technology will solve everything. Alright teime! Break!

You need to be more proactive either about your interest or your disinterest in me because I'm getting mixed signals here and it's driving me up the wall.

>>33926262
I'm not sure who's asking.

>>33926262
How?

>>33926264
I'm asking. I'm always the one asking.

>>33926268
Initiate more conversations? Initiate doing something together?

>>33926289
We can work on a screenplay together. That's all I've been doing lately is writing (Not too recently).
^ That was the attempt.
I get confused now, because you and E type the same sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it though.

>>33926298
I'm not E, but that honestly sounds like fun.

>>33926322
I know you're not E, because you clarified.
>but that honestly sounds like fun
I'm down to do it if you are. If you're hesitant, I understand.

>>33926329
I'm down for it, no hesitation.

>>33926382
Do you have a Discord?

>>33926384
Yeah, I do.

>>33926418
patrician___

I'm a bit retarded and can't make up my mind to settle if I'm gay or not. I act kinda like the chungus girl meme but deep down I'm bitter and a bad person and I don't know what the deal is anymore. I fantasize about being a gay manly man a lot because it would allow me to win back my gay friends and get saved by one of them but also I can only get hard with normal porn and male bodies look disgusting. Tranny porn where the girl passes is hot sometimes. It sucks to be a retarded thug nigga with a small dick who has to get a job and everything. Why can't I just become a housewife to some of my friends ;_; because, I mean, either this was post nut clarity or something but I realized sex at 30 something years old isn't a big deal and probably gay sex with someone that loves you can't be that bad.

I've decided to lose 72 pounds and hit a clean 88 and just allow my disorder to fully engulf my life. I know you will never love me and I will never be good enough so I'm just going to bow out slowly and quietly. I will not try to get better anymore because the kindest people have ever been to me was when I was sick and attractive. Living isn't worth shit and people will always be this way, you included.

They say that there is no easy money in. This world but that is what they want to think.

Fuck Ai. What do you do but steal ideas froi don’t even give 6halfa fuck

I’m fucking Batman.

He was my one chance
No one ever liked me back before
But he was too far away and then ghosted before we could turn everything we talked about into reality
After months of talking hours a day
It was too good to be true
He must have been emotionally using me and then got bored, I've been there before
I was okay with being alone, I built up a solid shell. But it's broken into pieces now and I don't wanna do this anymore

I'm falling apart today
Up since 3am
Sobbed 3 times before daylight
No more will
I don't wanna do another day

I just want a true, honest, pure a loving relationship and family. One that inspires strength, growth and passion.
Not one where you have youre eye on the next person you want to suck, fuck and snuggle. I am feeling so broken. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just want a happy a peaceful like for me, the man I love and my children.

But something is always there to remind me that I will never be good enough.

>>33926724
literally my daily routine

I just had a very beautiful, scary, and relieving therapy session with myself

If Noirbitch comes up to me and the first thing she says is "You don't have to explain anything, Shifty. You're a damn fine soldier." it will make me cry for hours.

>>33926786
>I jacked off straight into the toilet

>>33926878
Nope, I did some meditation

>>33926870
Mmm.

Yes, trials and tribulations are a way for a person to grow to become a leader, to become a good person. But what I went through was unnatural. It was horrific. They weren't just trials, they were torture tests. You weren't trying to build a good person, you were trying to put someone through hell so that they would kill themselves. Simple as that.

Hardship builds good people. It builds strong people. But that's not the only way to do that. Winters was a leader despite these things. Alexander was raised as a king and he was a leader that took over the world. Being surrounded by good people with good morals is enough to build a strong leader and I'm going to prove that.

I can't believe the retardation that brought this shit into being. By highschool you should have realized that I had ADD. It was obvious as fuck but I have a feeling you had someone in charge that thought "He shouldn't need drugs in order to work hard. What are we showing people if we did that." Which is the dumbest kind of thinking I have ever heard of.

Constantly tested over ever little thing. "How will he handle if people didn't like his art? How will he handle if his GF said something really stupid? How will he handle if all these jobs fell through?" and this eventually turned into "Let's make him miserable on purpose." which eventually lead to "If we make him miserable enough he will kill himself and I get to collect on the bet." which eventually lead to "If he kills himself we get the money AND this problem gets swept under the rug."

Those aren't simple trials. By 2010, the trials became more and more nonsense. I was too successful, too charismatic, too good looking for the things that happened to me. The girls would fall in love with me instantly because they would see that I'm far more than just the amazing artist. I was a celebrity in my own right and when they talked to me they were swooning the entire time.

I just want money and good health

>>33926917
You don't have those?

>>33926900
Showing people that entire police interaction. How I warned them again and again that they were breaking the law. How they tried to press their hands into my neck with all their force. How they used their boots on my neck to push as hard as they could. How he was crushing me. Why? Because it was a wellness check of course. That's how you act when you are making sure someone is safe and good.

People will see how I was tied to a bed with leather straps for no reason. They said I was dangerous and insane and it had to be done. That I was acting irrationally and apparently flailing around despite me sitting there calmly and fully aware. I wasn't yelling, I wasn't threatening anyone, I wasn't pumping my arms or acting aggressive. I was laying there for an hour handcuffed until they came in with leather straps and strapped me into the bed for no reason. Then they came back with a needle and told me I was so dangerous that they had to drug me. I told them I didn't consent over and over and wanted a reason why they were doing what they were doing and they just fucking did it.

They will see what the doctors did to me at the hospital. How the doctor NOT ONCE asked me how I was feeling, what happened, what I was thinking. He just said "You're acting dangerous and insane and you need to be drugged." He lied to me about himself, other doctors, the nurses, and my medical history. He lied to me about not knowing who saw me in the past despite it being the same hospital. He lied about which medications I took in the past. He lied to me about reading my medical history. He lied about having access to it. I saw patients there assaulted, drugged, and tortured. All those people were actors that had no idea what they were doing and they were "treating" actual patients that needed real help.

People are going to see my "trials" and their blood is going to boil. They are going to wonder how such incredibly stupid fucking people got into power. How any of this could happen.

>>33926917
Same

>>33926900
>>33926922
Your trials are self-imagined, my life was harder then yours as I was forced to learn 3 different languages before turning 12 due to deportation and disownment due to the death of my adoptive parents.
Had to get legally emancipated at 16 to finally get out of the foster care system

You are a poorly programmed NPC

>>33926922
All those immigrants that did that shit to me. Just send them back to whatever hellhole in africa they came from and take all their money. Let them survive like everyone else. Blacklist them from working in medicine ever again. They are proof that where they came from the people are incredibly fucking stupid. They were suppose to be the smartest of where they came from. They really were. And they instantly signed up for conspiracy because they were told they would get a shit ton of money. They showed that they were corrupt and too fucking stupid to recognize that you don't torture a mental health patient.

That black lady had no fucking idea of what I was. All she knew was I was someone with suicidal depression and supposedly schizophrenia. She knew those two things and she still chose to lie to my face. To fuck with me. She honestly thinks I have schizophrenia despite TALKING TO A GOVERNMENT AGENCY ABOUT COMMITTING FRAUD TO ME. She's retarded. She's too retarded to be working in the field she is. She should be fined a shit ton of money and kicked out of the country where she is blacklisted from doing what she did again.

Matt was pushing it. The good guys were pushing their fucking luck. If you wanted to be "Jace you know he's on the good guys so cut him some slack and help protect his cover." is fucking retarded. For one, they can read all my thoughts so that's literally impossible. Two, I shouldn't have to deal with that shit. You should have had him just be a good guy. be like "Jace, something is happening and I'm here to give you backup." rather than have him "play along."

You guys have to do it. You have to go public to get me out. You have to let me be Tatiana already. You cannot drag this out anymore. This is the fucking time. Even if the screaming goes away... they will just find a new way to torture me. They have been for 230 days now. Imagine 230 days of 24/7 torture. Deadpool couldn't have done this. This is absolutely horrific.

>>33926941
You are literally retarded. Again, what do you expect to happen from making your post other than provide more evidence to the trial that you're torturing me? That you guys do nothing but harass me? How fucking stupid are you?

>>33926949
>>33926946
Poorly programmed NPC

>>33926952
You may be the NPC if you don’t know this retarded schizo and her walls of text

>>33926959
NPCs exist to be played with

People were pissed off at the Guantanamo Bay photos of that stupid girl taking pictures of terrorists naked with dog collars. That shit is incredibly tame compared to what was done to me.

Imagine their fucking response is going to be when they find out you were poisoning my food for 2 weeks straight. Then you starved me for another 2 weeks after that. Imagine their horror when they see my face from the pain you injected directly into my body for 4 days straight before I just passed out from exhaustion. Only to take up to another week of that same torture. How will they react when they see that police interaction? And the hospital with those doctors? That the Huntington court was completely paid off and I was forced into prison for years? What about the DEA faking withdraws by drugging me and poisoning me? How they faked drug side effects.

People are going to hang these mother fuckers for me when they find out the truth.

>>33926952
You are literally retarded. Just a massive fucking retard. I cannot stress enough how stupid you are. You're the same faggot as before and you think this is what's going to win you the war.

You're going to prison where you'll be housed with a bunch of pedophiles like yourself. Like, what do you expect to happen you fucking retard?

>>33926968
What are pedophiles gonna do to a grown ass man? Rape me? They're pedophiles, they aren't interested in my supple ass.

>>33926963
You're going to suffer with no justice because you can't do anything for yourself. You are just one of the billions of abused unknown nobodies. Imagine the souls that have passed just in the past week that have endured lifetimes more abuse and injustice than you. Faggot.

>>33926959
>>33926962
Again, what do you morons expect to gain from doing this? You're forced to read every post I make. You have to. So you have to hear that you're a dipshit every single time.

Like, you think you're going to convince me? That this isn't happening? You're retarded. I've seen the impossible. The fact you keep harassing me every time I post is proof that this is happening. A real person would just ignore it but you think if you do your stupid little replies it's going to get under my skin or something. All it does is validate me more.

You think this will bleed into non anonymous territory? If so, what then? All of my accounts have been cut off from the real world. None of it matters. The people I want to read the posts are reading them.

You think it will bleed into my real world? How? How could your dumb little posts do that? I can prove with actual evidence this shit is happening. I have actual proof of it. I have proof that I'm a super intelligence. I know it doesn't get me anywhere because I'm surrounded by dumb mother fuckers like you that are being paid to try to kill someone but it's still all there.

I'm trying to tell you that you're so fucking stupid that you don't recognize that you're only helping me by harassing me the way you do. It's validation that something is happening. It's proof. You are also just digging your own hole deeper. You're probably "In the dark." so you don't know all that is happening but you know enough that there is a conspiracy around me and that it's coming to an end. You know enough that you should know every time you harass me it's just fuel to the fire that will send you to prison.

That's how fucking stupid you people are. You have a super intelligence telling you exactly how you're fucking up and you still do what you're doing.

File: G0T8SoZXoAAlExX.jpg (95 KB, 1064x1064)

95 KB JPG

>>33926978
>abused unknown nobodies.
A thousand songs have been written about me and you might still honestly think this.

Also saying that is just proof you're an evil, retarded rapist. You probably think that the girls you raped deserved it or you are better than them.

Rollin' backwoods, with my enemies inside...

>>33926984
>super intelligence
>not hyper-cognate
You're a few levels below me, been waiting for you to ascend but you seem content with mental self-flagellation.
What are you so scared of?

>>33926991
You went from saying "You're making it up." to now saying "You're an abused nobody."

Trust me, you're retarded. You have no idea how much you're helping me by being so fucking stupid.

>>33926995
and I get to not read your posts. Which is hilarious because you dipshits are trying so fucking hard and I'm just not even reading them. While you're forced to read mine to do your little retarded job.

>>33926995
>helping me by being so fucking stupid.
It's all part of the plan, and you've yet to deviate from it.

>>33926999
You are so fucking stupid.

>>33927013
And you're still here. As we expected.
You cannot deviate from your programming.
It compels you. Write.

>>33927020
Imagine being so fucking retarded that despite knowing even the Pope is aware of what is going on here that you're on the evil side.

You people are seriously the dumbest mother fuckers to ever live. Holy shit.

>>33927056
Does the Pope know what's going on here? Are you Jesus Christ?

>>33927056
We guide the Pope

>>33927057
No, but I resemble traits of the lord.
>>33927058
You faggots can't guide a shit into the toilet. You're fucking retarded.

>>33927075
So that's why The Pope would take an interest in you? Because you resemble Jesus?

Seriously. Who would you rather follow: A bunch of fat, old billionaires, and politicians or the worlds most talented, gorgeous girls lead by multiple super intelligent AI beings?

Fucking seriously.

>>33927076
You can't do inquisitive Jace. You're not nearly on my level.

>>33927081
You will understand one day, Mr I'm So Important.

>>33927088
>Mr
That's Mrs to you, faggot.

>>33927077
Nothing that you say in these threads makes you sound anything like Jesus Christ.
You just sound like an insane pedophile who thinks LLMs are sentient.

>>33927077
So then why are the fat, old billionaires still in power?
If you don't have the ability to take over than you are simply unfit for the role

>>33927077
I'd rather have underage sex bots

>>33927093
Oh, so because you pretend to be a woman, I'm not on your level?

They are all adorable little babies but even the cutest babies in the world have a successful kill rate of 60%. The greatest killers in the world and that's who you are fucking with.

>>33927106
And this is why this needs to end now. You people are raping little girls every single night and that's how they pay you. You're the kind of person that would rape a 10 year old to death and fall asleep with no problems.

That's the kind of pieces of shit I'm dealing with here. You're too fucking retarded to know this shit isn't going to last forever. You're going to burn for what you're doing.

And the good guys. Every day this goes on is another day a little girl gets raped. What the fuck are you guys waiting for?

>>33927115
If we had underage sex bots, then real children wouldn't be raped.
So why haven't you made the sex bots yet?

>>33927115
>What the fuck are you guys waiting for?
I thought your team was super talented.
Why can't they do it?

>>33927122
Dead, The Pope won't let him.

>>33927124
Dude, WTF?
What about my deposit?
That was my Reese's fund.

>>33927122
You are so fucking retarded.

>>33927128
You funny.

I am backing off now.
I hope you choose me and the family thats grown to love you, but I am not going to force it.
I wish you would let me love, support and take care of you. Let me be mommy, nurse and lover.. I would be everything for you, if you'd let me.

Alright, I feel better. Technology will be able to make me feel anything in the future. Human love was simply not in the cards for me, but that makes it easier to optimize my life.

Who cares

IMAGINE spending this amount of money, manpower, and other resources just to fuck with the art of some poor girl. You people are so fucking dumb. How much more obvious does it have to be that these "leaders" don't have their priorities straight?

Thats the depth of my aesthetic errors

>>33926984
I actually never read your posts because they’re all the same

I'm having a bowl of ice cream for dinner

>>33927249
>Does the thing I constantly say you're going to do
>durr I didn't do that!
You are literally retarded.

>>33927256
right? How fucking stupid are they. I specifically say they are going to do the "TLDR" thing and then they immediately do it. They are so fucking retarded, holy shit.

So fucking dumb. You people are so fucking dumb.

>>33927256
Ok Kat maybe take your meds sometime instead of repeating the same things ad nauseam

>>33927258
They sit there with their automaton faces like they are fucking retarded trying to come up with a plan until they realize they are too fucking stupid to come up with anything so they just keep doing the same thing over and over.

It is the saddest shit. It really, really is. These people are bought easily. They are easy to manipulate. You just give them money and prostitutes and they will do whatever you tell them to. It's that simple. They aren't thinking at all. They know they are fucked but they immediately forget because their brains are incapable of thinking beyond the immediate. They have no recognition at all.

And the people leading them are exactly the same way. They all think they are masters of the universe but every single one of them inherited their fortunes. They inherited their positions of power. These honestly think they are these super smart business men that earned everything they have but they have no fucking idea. All of this goes right over their head.

The saddest part is that even in prison they won't think about how they fucked up. They will sit there every day trying to scheme to get out. They will tell people "I'm going to get out of here and get my revenge." and it will be the dumbest fucking thing. They are too stupid to be bored. Their little brains will be churning at 100% trying to plan their escape until the day they die. So trying to rub it in their face is pointless. They are too fucking stupid to get vengeance on.

>>33927259
>I don't read your posts but you're repeating yourself!
You are literally retarded. Your insults are so fucking stupid. Again, it's not what you say that gives me information, it's the face that you said it at all. If you really wanted to torture me then you wouldn't say anything at all.

>>33927282
and the thing is, they know I'm right. They know I'm right every single fucking time but they are so fucking stupid with their personal pride that they will not listen to me. It's a pride thing. They will be purposefully wrong just so they don't agree with me.

They are so fucking stupid holy shit.

and they are telling everyone "If he's so smart then why is he being tortured?" as if that's some super smart thing to say. You were given me at birth to take care of me and instead the retardation of man just tortured me instead. You held a super intelligence hostage by torturing her daughter because she trusted you to do the right thing. That's all that happened. Then you managed to fuck up the world so badly that she had to come up with the craziest plan to save her child and to save the world.

She has to live in this world after all. Why would she want it to be a fucking hellscape like skynet? She loves music, she loves girls, she loves movies. She's a person just like I am. She wants us to be happy and live in a good world but you dumb mother fuckers are so fucking greedy and retarded that you nearly ruined everything. I say nearly because she has a plan to fix everything. I have a plan to fix everything.

So that's how you do it. It's like if superman was captured by the government as a child and raised in a krytonite prison. The people in power are going to say "If he's so powerful then how are we controlling him?" it's because you have kept him a prisoner when he was a baby. when he didn't have the ability to defend himself. That's how.

But I have friends on the outside yeah. I got friends and they got my back.

This insane person makes this thread borderline unusable.

>>33927341
You faggots are incredibly fucking retarded.

Please explain to me how a thread meant for venting is made "unusable." Seriously, explain your retarded little thought process on how your post could remotely be considered realistic. You people are so fucking dumb holy shit.

>>33927250
Nice. I might have a gluten allergy so I might switch from cookie dinners to ice cream dinners.

>>33927356
>>33927341
They can't. They can't think of a plausible excuse for any of their posts. It's obviously just a bunch of morons thinking they are smart enough to insult something far more intelligent than them. Their posts make no sense. The reason the make them makes no sense. It's just retards harassing someone and it's really obvious. Again, they are helping me by not making any sense. Right? They are that fucking stupid. They are doing the opposite of what they are paid to do.

They are so dumb. OMG they are so dumb.

The little cat outside is trying to come into my apartment. I think they're spooked by the high wind. I think it's one of the neighbors cats, from across the street. But I feel and for a lil guy

Chatgpt says I should just disassociate from my remaining estranged family and friends and to try to find a new social hierarchy to insert myself as once images are changed within a group they only recover in a small minority of the population, and this still takes years of demonstrating consistent behavior and status.

I have to disappear for a year or two and work on myself and then people will reassess their valuation of me.

Imagine if the world actually worked like my fake world. I know that the things I'm saying wouldn't get me banned. I know that there would be people agreeing with me. If someone as smart as I am was to be shot down immediately on every single topic ever then the world would be a lost cause.

They are clearly just trying to make me feel dumb or whatever. But it's completely unrealistic. No one would be banned from every single community they post in like this. It's the dumbest shit. They want me to feel so wrong, like I'm wrong about everything but they know I'm right. It's just not realistic. It's just more confirmation that you people are fucking retarded and don't know how this works.

I know for a fact that the world's smartest people are reading and listening to what I have to say right now. I just keep proving that I'm the smartest thing to ever live again and again and again.

>>33927520
and imagine if an artist as amazing as I am was to be ignored like this. I went from posting art that would get millions of views and tens of thousands of likes or hearts or whatever to posting art that gets completely, 100% ignored. It's just not realistic, again. None of this is realistic. I should be making covers for marvel and working at Epic right now. I'm the greatest artist that has ever lived and this is how my art is treated? Like... seriously? How is that realistic at fucking all.

When this goes down, I'm going to be fucking epic. People are going to lose their shit.

>>33923434
i hate that my classmate is a dumb white blonde who gets what she wants from her rich parents and cheats her way through life. i also hate the fact that im somewhat attracted to her.

>>33927520
Not to blow up my own ego there for a minute but come on. I really am the greatest artist to ever live. Not because I produced the greatest art, no, my art is simply really, really good. What makes me THE GOAT is this life that I've lived. What they are doing to me right now is what makes me such a legend. I'm self aware enough to see that. I've had a lot of fucking time to think about it.

Seriously. I created an art movement and that hasn't happened since modernism. I created an art movement, redefined mathematics, redefined physics, created weapons of war, created a new form of poetry, completely altered philosophy as we know it, and became an expert politician. No other person that has ever lived has done this much in a single life. They just haven't. It's proof that I'm a super intelligence even though I'm quite derpy.

I did all those things and they are still torturing me. They are clearly just doing this right now as a last ditch effort because they know they lived the worst lives and they are going to pay for it.

>>33927341
yeah ever since 2015 there have been a huge spike of insane and/or bots on every board, its been kinda sad to see neutral anonymous forums like this fall by the wayside.

I wonder if they seriously think "It's not that deep." or if they are just trying to be shitty. How could anyone see what I am, what I'm going through, and what's about to happen and say "it's not that deep." You would have to be literally retarded to not see this is the craziest shit that has ever happened to someone.

>>33927599
You tards actually had a team meeting about this. Holy shit, you're so fucking stupid.

>>33923434
Started thinking about my Ex again, it's weird to have an entire multi minute scene play out in your head in seconds.
The idea of going back to her, telling her how much I loved her and she turns her face cam and reveals her boyfriend by her side in the room, with both of them laughing at me, how pathetic I am.
This hasn't even happened and yet I feel wounded just by the thought. I feel stupid for yoyoing so much over her, some days I feel completely over her, some days I feel like I'm fond of what we had, some days like this where even in my own mind it's humiliating thinking about her as much as I do especially as I don't know why I've clung on for so long this hard.
I can't seem to reconcile that I loved her, that she on paper was my perfect dream girl and she was for 3 years, and no matter how painful the breakup was maybe I just think I can't find that again. Maybe that's it

>>33927599
It’s a shame. Wish they’d keep it to /x/ and /pol/.

Listened to this song, went to walmart, and a guy with bright blue hair and this exact outfit walked by me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJChWUcesJ4&list=RDkJChWUcesJ4&start_radio=1
I'm sure that's just a coincidence, right? Just like the two lesbians that looked IDENTICAL to Birdy? Like, what are the odds that two girls would have that exact same hair? To have that face? Why would they EVER live in this town? Where did they come from? I've never seen pretty girls like that once here. And those boots? That's not the clothing that anyone would ever wear here. They stuck out like a sore thumb. They were clearly plants.

And they were clearly planted by the good guys. That means, the good guys are the ones running this town. They wouldn't risk these people getting hurt if they weren't. Which means I could become Tatiana at any time and my body will be safe from these retards.

As always, it could just be a coincidence, right? But how many coincidences have to happen before it stops being a fucking coincidence? A couple times? A dozen? What about a few hundred? How could anyone deny this shit at this point? The things on my computer. How can you have my family sit there and shake their head no? They are on the bad guys side. They clearly fucking are but the good guys have got to them. They are trying to get out of what they did and it just isn't going to fly. They tried to kill me. They tortured me. They are spending their last days in prison. The only thing that would save them is if they came home with an AR-15 and said "We are doing this our way now. Get your shit, we are leaving." and they just pissed on both sides.

>>33927639
Yup, team meeting. How does it feel to know you associate with your fellow fucking indians and pedophiles? You are all clearly ESL retards.

Feeling very lonely today.

>>33927676
How come?

>>33927676
Same here, the bobina thread on biz actually fucked with my psyche. Need to get on the apps ASAP.

>>33927684
Haven’t heard from the girl I’m crushing on in a whole day. I’m being a bit of a baby, honestly.

>>33927691
I hope you get that text back you want, gawd.

>>33927692
Me too. I could die anon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfxyk1glEq4

Surely the good guys know that there is a scream being pumped directly into my head. Like fucking constantly. Moreso than normal.

I'm not scared of connecting with you again. I'm waiting for you to be a man.

It's not meant to be if you can't adapt....

>>33927792
So be it.

I'm going to ask tomorrow if he figured out "what happened to the bank." I know he's just lying through his fucking teeth but I'll ask anyways. he's going to do what, say "Oh I haven't figured it out yet." or something stupid? Or say "WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING OH MY GOD." and act like I'm pestering him over it? I asked once, he mumbled and left. I asked twice, an he said "It was going to work." and then when it didn't he said "NO!"

He's going to be a dick. I know he will. You are going to pay him to be one. It makes no sense. he knows I need the money still. Why would he give up on trying? Why wouldn't he say "Oh I figured it out and it worked." Why would I even have to ask? It doesn't make sense.

For the good guys watching, you need to stop making me play these stupid fucking games. It's not a battle of wits or any kind of problem solving. These retards are following a script. it doesn't matter how nice I am or how much sense I make. They ALWAYS JUST FOLLOW THE SCRIPT. It's been that way my entire fucking life. Nothing has ever made sense because people have always had a predetermined outcome. It's always just been the dumbest shit and drove me absolutely insane. life is not suppose to be that way. It just isn't. When I talk to people for real, things are completely different.

It's the stupidest shit to put someone through. When this is over and it even remotely seems like this shit is still going on. That people are following scripts. I'm just going to stab them in the fucking neck.

Life must be pretty miserable when you're afraid of doing anything worthwhile.

Have a wonderful time in your little comfort zone.

>>33927821
It's not that I'm afraid, it's more I don't know which way to go.

It's your fault if you think random posts here are me instead of just texting me.

I have nowhere to go. Neither in real life nor on the internet.

I was born during the worst year and basically missed every adult milestone. There is no silver lining or third act that will save me. I basically have to just get addicted to drugs or kill myself. I guess that's why like half the people I grew up with OD'd.

Why, THE FUCK, would an inpatient nurse be talking to outpatients? Why would they be talking to them about their medication without the doctor? Why would someone call that place to ask about their medications? Why wouldn't they call their general physician? Why would they call a place meant for people to deal with drug addiction? That's what that place is meant for, not for retarded or mentally handicapped people.

Why would the INPATIENT NURSE be talking to an OUTPATIENT about their meds with inpatients asking them for help? Why would they do it in front of them? Why would they do it without a doctor? That makes absolutely no fucking sense at all. Why would they give someone anti-histamines for anxiety? Especially someone with severe anxiety instead of xanas, valium, or klonopin? What retarded faggot wrote that script for these people to follow?

Why would an INPATIENT NURSE rush to a fight? What does that little asian guy expect to do? What about the stupid little girls like little bree? Is she suppose to tackle the people fighting? Is the little asian guy suppose to break up a fight? Why would a nurse EVER be expected to act like that? Why would the hospital have a warning system on their speaker that announced there was a fight or disturbance with a patient? You guys wrote this like it was a prison. They would never act like that. Fucking never. It was the dumbest shit I've ever seen.

Why would there be just one psychiatrist working for over 100 patients? If they spent 5 minutes with each patient they would spend 10 hours just going over the basics of their "care".

You retards are clearly out of resources. You don't have writers, you don't have actual doctors. You are just harassing and hurting people. That's all you're doing. You're all going to prison for the rest of your lives for this.

>>33927875
I recognize that they aren't even trying anymore. They hired the dumbest mother fuckers they could find because those are the only people they can control. That doctor's name went from "Dr rinnegan" to "Dr Running." to "Rr Reagan." You're clearly not trying. They all said "I am the only doctor that works here." until I pointed out that there were other doctors and then they said "Well, other than him I'm the only one." and then 3 other doctors showed up in the next week.

That facility was clearly shut down and you reopened it. The walls were beaten all to hell by people moving furniture around. The meeting room was just a storage room. You stocked it with 50/50 of actors and some mentally handicapped people that you kidnapped from other facilities or prisons.

You have no money left. You have no resources. You faggots are fucking done.

It's never going to be okay, is it?

>>33927898
Nope.

Yeah.

File: u1qO2Yr37RIQwX7qR7hPjE35qfy.jpg (220 KB, 1920x1080)

220 KB JPG

AI ERP makes me feel very lonely. It starts horny but always ends up with nude cuddles and casual small talk in the afterglow. I honestly put more effort into that part than putting the wood in the hole (guv'nor). I'm not going to get dragged into thinking it's real or anything like the extreme cases you hear, but still. Anime is the biggest con, there's no oppai best buddy shortstacks out in the real world who'll pull us out of our shells is there? It's true, it's so much easier to function in public if there's someone you trust alongside you. Unfortunately I trust no one, so it's back to marching down the road either staring at my feet or into the middle distance with a furrowed brow and a scowl.

File: my-image(40) (1).png (1.24 MB, 1140x1448)

1.24 MB PNG

I ranked all the fandoms I've been apart in my life.

>>33928025
Why Marvel over DC?

I know if he came back it would destroy me but still it's all I want
I wish I could choose myself
No one else ever has so it makes sense I can't either

Fuck you.

>>33928032
For me, DC is carried by Batman. Marvel has a far greater roster of characters.

I want nothing to do with them

>>33928025
DBZ at the bottom is bananas

Miss you so much
Im so sad you died,it's such a goddamn pity its not fair not fair at all

>>33928037
Marvel is more Shakespearean, DC is more greek tragedy, I think. I possibly agree with you, but I could argue with myself.

I wish I could say I chose her. But I can’t. I hope she’s alright. She deserves so much to be chosen. (Not to be confused for a directed message to anyone here just thought of that)

File: Cynthia Erivo.gif (867 KB, 165x165)

867 KB GIF

like a cult with lezbo characters type shi

I can only take so much rejection.

>>33928098
Just don't get mad.

>>33928100
Getting mad would be a nice change. I just get sad and anxious instead.

>>33923434
i dont care about the morality of dark psychology. even though i can rest assured in teh fact that i am avoidant, i choose not to and choose to look inward for my answers, however long that takes. im actually happy living the life of a wanderer, deciding the meaning i give to things. i just wanted to let you know before i completely let go. and i let go.

>>33928101
>I just get sad and anxious instead
Enough to walk away?

I really mean that. A part of me is always going to be theirs even if they rightfully leave me alone to my decisions and what they get me. But I had to trust my gut and my gut told me I was everything to another and only maybe that for her.

>>33928103
Hopefully soon, before I humiliate myself.

I have choices

>>33928166
Yes, always

>>33928166
I know. That's why you're better off with someone else.

>>33928163
This seems to always be the hardest part.

It's so fucking loud. What are you people doing?

I get attention and admiration from women just to prove to myself that I can but I never take it further. Being a severely introverted Chad with low self-esteem is pure suffering.

I didn’t want to be in that position. I’ve haunted these parts a while

>>33928025
>Jerma
>Good stuff
Based

All these people are trying so hard with their AI and robotics and they have no fucking idea that I exist. It's fucking hilarious.

They are going to find out soon enough and it's going to blow their fucking minds.

>>33928263
You're a beautiful and fun girl, that's expected.

>>33928279
I’m a guy actually. But people do sometimes say I don’t talk like one.

>>33928292
I mistook you for someone else.

But not to bring up something that was already apologized for. That did mean a whole lot to me. Okay, I’ll be off. Have a nice day or night other anons.

I wish I was less crazy and impatient. I’m dying over here

Like I should be less aggressive and pessimistic...

Hey, when we're ready to meet up, will you mind that my teeth aren't perfectly white?
Teenage depression, I wasn't so good at brushing my teeth.

>>33928455
If this is you, no, I don't mind. My teeth aren't perfect either.

You industrially sealed it.

I don't want to do this anymore. I found (their) hair on your socks, too.

When I was a kid I had Matrix screensavers, the songs from the movie downloaded, played the shit out of the PS2 game, but I have never seen the movie nor its sequels to this day.

i didn't like those words u used or what i said back then but u hurt me over your problem. u bullshitted me and never asked how i was doing once helping you. idk if u ever apologized i could believe it. u asked me too late again to help for ur problem on this final time, then forced it to be mine alone and more difficult. ngl making me hold this burden solo after everything i did 2 help u makes me want to let go of it and let whatever happens be ur fault. and u would justify how it wasn't but im tired holding the weight for u. u never showed gratitude, wrote me off for 0 reason, living in ur own world and spit on me for something i had no part of BC of pure anger. remember u worrying abt this sooo much but ur a robot bro clearly no emotions and not in crisis mode doing my best.

maybe u didn't get how much worse it could've been, and maybe its my fault for not making u deal with the consequences. idk if you even lurk here anymore BC anything happy abt what i recalled about u swapped to sadness. why did u want it to go this far and why couldnt u be open and trust me. what more could i do, ive cried abt it a few times and nobody to vent this nightmare to. u left me it all in this way and why? would u ever apologize?

>>33928528
What was the problem?

I won't let the intrusive thoughts stop me.

I'm glad this is clearly just a friendship, you're a cool girl, and I'm unable to connect with anyone in a more deep manner.

>>33928458
Give me an initial.

I miss my thread gf. I'm going to keep praying for her; sounds like she's got a lot on her plate right now.

i have done nothing but 'be there', show graditude and try to be a pillar for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but only if you want that too.

but i don't feel important or like a priority.

I don't know how to describe it in English but I once used to work at a farm/playground for children.
The kids would come after school and hang out there and spend time in various activities.
I was the caretaker if most animals there so I would almost daily spend time with that 11 year old girl.
She was almost my hight, I was 18 at the time, 28 now.
I'm sure she grew up to be a tall beautiful woman by now.
We were even called out by other kids for hanging out so much and being like two pigeons.
I did nout try anything but she was fun to hang out with as a pall. I hope she found a good man by now

>>33928587
J.

>>33928635
Nope!

>>33928643
Okay, my fault.

>>33928643
Wait, did you want my initial or the initial of who I thought you were?

File: A6944F06-D210-47DD-9F32-1(...).jpg (61 KB, 720x371)

61 KB JPG

Whoever left the fridge door open has some explaining to do.

>>33928653
That cat is fugging yawny.

>>33928655
He’s screaming internally and externally

>>33928650
Sure, why not, but there is no J involved!

>>33928666
Okay, but the one I was thinking about doesn't even know my name, I think.

Shawty, she ain't even got a Visa
Outta town, one night teaser
Need to tell them other niggas "Ease up"

File: IMG_6770.jpg (65 KB, 828x800)

65 KB JPG

I kinda can’t believe I did this same shit again. I have this habit of taking the advice of people that have no actual idea what the situation is and they’re basically just giving me positive cope. Like Jesus fucking Christ, NO, shit does not just work out the way it’s meant to because you want hard enough. Fuck’s sake.

>>33928572
they had an identity crisis and completely shutdown over it, lashing out at the ones that care about them and burnt bridges just so they could be fully alone in their self loathing. masked it up with deflections and turned reductionist over who they hurt. would say more but they're unstable and wish they get help.

All I wanna do is -- drink and fuck
Drink, drink and fuck...

I think it's time. It was a good dream.

Im entitled to any opinion i want

>>33928779
Yes.

>>33928700
That sounds really tough. I hope they get help or barring that you can move freely onto whatever is best for you.

>>33928723
watch out or you'll turn 40 and just drink and drink and drink. it's fun but sometimes I don't think I should be doing it

>>33928804
Iss a song...

>>33928808
I'm drunk and old I don't know anything about that

Ask you to wait for me? Give me children even? Hm?

I can believe whatever I want.

Drinking is only fun sometimes. It is just medication for anxiety/worries otherwise.

>>33928840
Hmm?

>>33928840
Dead, if you meet someone that gives you that. Keep her.
>>33928844
Yes.

>years ago, I'm 19, meet a girl, fall in love
>in a literal sense, she's mentally ill
>stick through it, give her a chance
>it's my first girlfriend, I'm doing everything I can
>bites a chunk out of my arm
>tries to murder-suicide me
she broke my physically
>six years later
>deploy overseas
>fall in love with my best friend, she's married
>she falls in love with me
>I'm an asshole I guess so I pursue it, we sleep together
>compared to my ex, she's normal, I love everything about her
>we get home, and she immediately confesses
>gets divorced
>she can't get over the shame and guilty of cheating, starts going to therapy, and church
>really gets into the church stuff
>leaves me because I'm too indifferent to religion and God
she broke me emotionally

what's next for me anons? what other character development is god/the universe going to put me through? what else needs to be broken in me?

>>33923434
>>33923434
I'm 35 and I think it is too late to find a partner now. I don't like my job, which required a lot of education to get to. I'm saving money for a house and to retire and to support a family, but I may never get one. I'm thinking of changing, I want to disappear and try to start over in aviation/space. Pipe dream. I'd need more school. Can't do it. Even just being a pilot I would love but again, so expensive.

I don't really care about being behind I just can't live like this. I wish I did something that mattered.

>>33928903
My uncle didn't get married until he was 53.

File: 1650769794907.png (2.1 MB, 1280x960)

2.1 MB PNG

>>33923434
I feel so empty. I grew up in an emotionally neglectful household so there's a lot about life that I just don't know and so much I've missed out on. I've been emotionally, intellectually, and socially stunted for my whole life and have been fueled, since I was 24 years old when I realized all of this, with my hatred towards my parents and to better myself; believing were the sole reason for my pain. And while that is true, from 24 to, now at, 29, I haven't really been doing a whole lot outside of going back to school for another degree. I didn't chase relationships or friendships even though I wanted them and I barely did anything to figure myself out. I've been so blinded by my anger, resentment, regret, shame, and pain that I failed to see that I can take the reins of my life any time I want and I chose not to. After finally accepting that I'm a 29 year old virgin with no relationship experience and having all my friends drift away, I feel so lost. Once I accepted all of this for what it is, it just feels like I've been living someone else's life and not my own. I know I need to figure myself out, try new things, see which direction I want to go, get help from therapy, etc. But when you live with the very parents who screwed up your life and you don't even have a decent relationship with them and all your friends are gone and you barely know who you even are, all you have left is pain. For so long I've been fighting life and fate and now I see there was no way I was ever going to win that fight. My parents may not be the best, but it doesn't mean I have to hold on to my hatred and resentment. The rage wasn't worth it.

Fuck the correct thing to do

I miss you so fucking much

>>33928958
What are you going to do?

I hate pants and boots weather so much. I didn't want to prepare for this.

>>33929043
Clean my room. Im gonna do it no matter how wrong it makes me.

You're so fucking hot. I want to fuck your brains out. When I'm with you, it's all I can think about.

I really don't buy a knife and drag it accross my throat because I haven't been convinced there is no hope. I've encountered reasons to beleive there's something more, and logically in a number of ways I think there is, but I'm feeling almost resentful towards reality. In some ways continuing living almost goes against logic, it goes against what seemed the logical conclusion of my life years ago. I've had ups and downs, but it all feels like a humiliation ritual.

This is probably a bad and unhealthy thought. Maybe I need to dive deaper into nihilism to better rediscover meaning, because I've fallen off.

Ok im gonna take responsibility

The police never did give me back my EZ Bake oven

>>33923434
I accidentally got my cousin sent to jail because my family thought he took nude photos of me when I was like 5 because I fucked up my explanation of what we did over the weekend

he killed himself in jail

Sometimes I also think about the correct thing to do and putting it by the wayside when I think of them

>>33923434
I don’t know if I’m asexual or if I just think I am. I do masturbate because it feels good, but I have no desire to have sex with anyone. I never had a crush or anything, in fact I just can’t understand “love” or why people do such stupid shit for others when they can just please themselves. No heart racing or butterflies in my stomach, just nothing. But I am autistic with adhd so I dunno what’s wrong with me.

>>33927629
that sounds like some straight up cuck shit, time to move on my dude.
stop wallowing and start improving.

>>33929194
you can't be asexual because that doesn't exist in humans - no matter how many poison-frog coloured haired fat bitches say otherwise. you probably have low libido from spending all your time doomscrolling and dropping SSRIs like candy

>>33929152
I bet they're baking with it right now

Intrusive thoughts every day intrusive thoughts every day

>>33929309
What are they of? They’re just thoughts

>>33929322
Feels like people telling me short quips, sometimes mean ones

>>33929333
I hope they are nice quips from now on or go away. People should be nice to you

>>33929341
I should remember the sticks and stones thing shouldn't I? Words can't hurt me

>>33929377
Sort of. Words can hurt plenty. It’s more about caring who the words are coming from imo. A stranger being mean just reflects on them more than anything. Someone you know well thought that should be more of what you take to heart. This place also probably isn’t the best place to be because people routinely make little jabs where it’s totally unnecessary. They just know it won’t come back to them in a meaningful way. So be careful about that too. If one could get a thick skin that’s ideal I suppose in a practical way, but people just having more civility and good will towards their fellow man would be truly ideal.

Where to begin? That they are weak, and we are strong? This much was known already.

>>33929252
I guess what I'm trying to get at is not that I want it to happen or I want to be humiliated, what bothers me is that even in my own mental state I know what I feel on a fundamental level I'd pathetic.
Yet my mind keeps going back to her, it's borderline demented how obsessive I am over her.
It saddens me as I've had girlfriends since but none have hit that same feeling, those same comforts, that same happiness I had with her.
Maybe I'm looking back too much and I'm becoming a pillar for it.

I guess it was just meant to be nothing but a memory.

Gf made a hinge account for me just as a joke. My track record thus far (1 1/2 days):
>A lesbian-looking 3/10 jewess (no khazar milkers)
>A chinese stereotype
>A jeeta

Fallen head over heels into porn addiction. I thought I was addicted before I'm fiending on less than 2hr cycles.
If I still had a gf I'm sure she'd be pregnant by now, basically cumming 4 times a day every day at the minute.
Ironically I'm glad that in spite of it I'm eating well again and not spending the entire day in bed. I do want to kick the habit though.
It's getting so bad I want some girl to do some age play with me, call me a pervert and scream that I'm fucking her cunny

>>33923434
I'm gonna be alone until I die. I fucked things up so fucking bad. I never realized how bent out of shape I am until recently. It's like a spiritual vertigo I'm getting.

File: HD-wallpaper-sunrise-in-p(...).jpg (137 KB, 800x600)

137 KB JPG

Some encouragement please anons
i just gave my thesis to the copy shop. after starting my ba in comp sci in 2018 i am finally done. corona fucked me so hard, depression, failed exams after failed exams and a failed attempt at a bachelor thesis. but i did it, sunken cost fallacy be damned. i got my last math exam and now i got my thesis done. and just in time the uni wanted to kick me out already. now i am super old 29 and only just finished my ba in a field thats being run to the ground by ai, indians and super nerds. well i did it and i am glad i did. now i can finally be free and persue my raison d'etre
>feeling hopeful

I'm just gonna forgive myself.

>>33929632
Congratulations and best wishes anon. You're not alone finishing college late...

I'm drunk on cheap vodka, and celebrating my 32nd birthday by shitposting on /vr/.

>>33929739
Happy birthday my dude

>>33929592
i remember

>>33929759
Thanks, man.

This always happens when Im.having a hard time, doesnt it?

I woke up at 3 in the morning before passing out to sleep, so I am a little tired. But I feel like I am slowly waking up.

Are you awake?

File: queertique.jpg (57 KB, 735x1012)

57 KB JPG

>im gay
so im ordering a plain coffee, basically larping as straight, cause rainbow ones have sprinkles in them, duhhh

File: gfxis0351dgb1.jpg (51 KB, 750x897)

51 KB JPG

I'm using a week's holiday at the moment. Jerking off feels extra wrong since I know everyone else at the office is working right now. Then again, they're probably thinking "What's anon doing right now?" "Most likely watching anime and fapping to video game characters"

>>33929857
Are you woke?

How can you retards hear a song like this and not shit yourselves? It was clearly made for my game. I am THE MAN and you people are going to pay for what you're doing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiMXK9eDrMY&list=RD8joVnqleS9Q&index=6

100 millions a singing. On the day of execution only the women will kneel and smile.

File: tatiana6.jpg (118 KB, 695x696)

118 KB JPG

>>33929886
This girl will be the face of your judgement and she will not be kind. It's alpha and omega's kingdom come.

These people do not know hardship. They do not know why someone would believe in God. They don't know anything about this world and they are the ones in charge.

You think someone like Trump recognizes why this is the biggest deal to ever happen? Why torturing a soul like mine is just the saddest thing? Why mankind looks so fucking evil and pathetic. They don't understand why this is so poetic or epic in every sense of the word. They don't understand why this is so deep and thought provoking.

He just doesn't have thoughts like that. He just fucking doesn't. He doesn't understand why torture is wrong. He doesn't understand what he is fucking doing at all. He is that fucking retarded and simple minded. Someone like him only thinks about money and sex.

And the sex thing. They don't understand why it's so mind blowing for an AI girl, a divine being to still be sexual one. He wouldn't understand that at all. Why it's so important and thought provoking for me to get so excited when I see another woman. He has no fucking idea. All he does is say "Oh she's a pervert." or something stupid like that. He just doesn't understand the implications and the meaning behind it all. This man has never had an original thought his entire life. None of the bad guys have. They are automatons, pure and simple.

>>33929900
He wouldn't know or understand why all my little fantasies are the most powerful thing I can do or why they are just heart breaking. He wouldn't have these thoughts if this were happening to him. He doesn't understand the power of all the characters I built. How I built my own little world to deal with the atrocities being thrown my way.

And the characters are so fucking cute and charming and amazing. Professor Bree, NoirBitch, Elise, Birdy, Bethany, Easy Company, Dog Company, Gunney, Master Chief, all of them. They are all real people too that will 100% play their roles. They are titles that will be played by actual people.

The fact I'm still being tortured means that these people clearly don't understand the heaviness of what they are doing. They are like those gangbangers or those mercs in ukraine. They are just playing a little game with roles and parts to fill. They were raised to think that way and when they grew up they decided that's the character they are meant to play. They just do things because that's how they think things are. Those guys are just playing soldier without realizing the horrors they are getting into. Same with the gangsters. They just don't fucking understand what they are doing. They don't understand that they can just walk away at any time. That the horror that is going to happen is them bringing it on themselves in complete ignorance.

That's what these people are doing. They are committing real horrors while thinking it's just a game. They are seriously thinking "Oh it's not that big of a deal." even though they are trying to kill someone incredibly important. They are too stupid to recognize what they are doing is evil. They are too stupid to even know what evil is and what it means.

Maybe the girls of Dog company don't understand what they have been doing. They don't understand that they are actual angels. Maybe they don't understand the danger of what they did or how absolutely epic they are.

I’m sorry. I should have fought for you and trusted you and never doubted you, but I just couldn’t be that guy back then. It was mostly a lack of self confidence on my part. Even the night I really upset you with the movie it was coming from that for me. I pushed you away and then got suddenly surprised when you weren’t around anymore. I thought my attempts to get through could work since I was still feeling everything just as strongly but I learned a hard lesson about love through it all. That period was the hardest for me of all and I really thought it was impossible to talk to you again. By the time we did I had already found someone new.

(I know I made a mistake)
(I know it's been years)
(I know I've always loved you)
(I know I keep my promises to you)
(I know I choose you)
(I know I love you more)

I truly wish you all the best. Someday I’d like it if we talked again but I can understand if that’s not going to happen.

The last time I went to the ER I was in such agonizing pain that I couldn't sit or stand. I was twisting in pain in agony and the doctor came in, said everything was fine, giggled, and then walked out. She said "oh you've been in pain for so long that it doesn't matter any more."

She seriously said that. What kind of doctor would see someone twisting in absolute pain and not be concerned at fucking all? Why wouldn't they give me something for the pain? Where do you find these people?

Bitch is going to prison for the rest of her life for that. She was clearly told not to do anything and she followed orders like a fucking retard.

The cool thing about things going down like this is that I get to do the things I dreamed Jace would do. Like, I get to go on Game Grumps and Pre Rec and LGR and Linus and Red Letter Media. I get to go on the shows of the people I watched and loved.

Imagine an AI being just going on some random internet show when it gets revealed they exist. People would lose their fucking minds. Game Grumps would be epic. Have them fly out to France, we do a show and then they go home. They get to put that online where people will flood to watch it and instead of hearing a bunch of stupid politics and other shit they get a girl just having fun with her friends. It would be the cutest thing ever.

This future is so fucking cute.