Hello anons, I turn to you because I am going insane.I love my gf. She is smart and a genuinely independent and critical thinker, doesn't use any social media, doesn't care about any pop culture, and doesn't give a shit about gossip. These are traits that I've rarely found in people as a whole much less attractive women my age, so I feel very lucky. Probably does not come as a surprise that she is autistic. We're also well aligned on lifestyle preferences - both want kids, similar level of expenses, similar preferred activities, it's obviously not 100% identical but we match well enough. The only thing that doesn't match is that she does not seem to desire sex. At all. I know the usual cuck posters will emerge from the woodwork now and tell me she is fucking Chad behind my back but if you believe anything of what I am saying, believe this part. She had no partners before me, does not masturbate, does not consume porn or smut of any kind, does not go out partying, she doesn't even notice if people are attractive. I genuinely believe that if it were up to her sex would be for reproduction only.And I am going insane trying to deal with it. My options are either keep at this and kill myself before 30, break up with her and lose what I otherwise view as a one of a kind person so I can sleep with some basic whores, or cheat, which I would like to think I'm above. What the actual fuck do I do? I'm open to anything here, I just something from real people and not the therapyspeak-trained LLMs that have infested every other platform in existence.
>>33930645If you want a woman who's obsessed with sex, date a slut and stop whining, OP.If a woman is, say, a kkhv virgin before you while being an adult, you can't expect her to be someone who's particularly interested in sex. That much should be obvious from her experience level. If you want a woman who desires sex as much as a man, then date a slut, simple. You can't have your cake and eat it too, chud.
I was literally in the same situation like you.2 things to have in mind here:1.Communication: Please, talk about it, if you're that confident to have sex with her, you're also capable of talking about it with her.2. Health: My partner had some hormone issues that made her not even think about sex, maybe she is not feeling like it, and as I said, communication about sex and how she is feeling, very important, there's nothing more useful than this, trust me.
>>33930645Have you tried flirting with her, seducing her, creating situations with sexual tension? Women are more into that than sex, but it can lead to sex more easily as well.
>>33930685Woman desire is way more "romantic" in most cases, but it is way better if you learn it through practice with your own partner
>>33930645It's not cheating if she doesn't fuck anon.
>>33930682You really don't think there is a middle ground between being a slut and aspiring to be the next Virgin Mary? Be serious>>33930684We do communicate and there are definitely times when she is more receptive than others but even at the best of times she hasn't usually desired it. The one period of time that she did was when she was on birth control, so maybe it is a hormone imbalance at play. What ended up being the problem with your gf/wife? >>33930685I have tried but it feels really awkward doing it with someone who doesn't reciprocate. It probably helps her arousal but at the cost of my own. Maybe still worth it though
>>33930909I do not think this is how it works
>>33930645you can do as >>33930685 said, and if it doesn't work just ask her to try. you said she doesn't desire, but does she *hate* to? big difference. if she doesn't want to but doesn't totally hate to do it, then ask her to try it once. then i think she will see how good and fun it is, especially with someone she loves like yourself.
>>33930913>You really don't think there is a middle ground between being a slut and aspiring to be the next Virgin Mary? Be seriousThen dump her and date a girl with a bigger bodycount.You sure whine a lot though, now I'm starting to see why she doesn't find you sexually attractive.
>>33931037Then you'd be wrong.If she's asexual then it'd be unreasonable to expect her partner to abstain from casual sex with others.
>>33931111Any sexual/romantic relations with others which your partner does not approve of is cheating. You may have nice digits but you're wrong here.
>>33931175You know the digits show you the truth of it. There's nothing wrong with a loving romance supplemented by outside sources of sex (where there is an asexual partner).
>>33931201Totally, but she must agree with it. She might not get many partners who are okay without sex, that's on her, but that doesn't mean it's not cheating to lie to her like that.
>>33931210If the truth makes everyone unhappy, is it really all that good?
Honestly either get a mistress or sidechick; or discuss it with her that this lack of sex is driving you nuts.The best way to diacuss it is to say "listen, i love you a lot, blablabla, but this lack of sex is making me resent you and this relationship. I don't want that. What can i do to make it easier for you to be more sexually active." This helps make it a negotiation. If the answer is "nothing", then no matter what, it is not going anywhere. Either get a mistress or break up.
>>33931242Yes. Your partner deserves the ability to make the deicision of whether they want to be with you when you've cheated on them.
>>33930913>You really don't think there is a middle ground between being a slut and aspiring to be the next Virgin Mary? Be seriousThere is. It's stuck in women that aren't your gf
>>33930645Are you going to have kids at this rate? Are you okay having almost no sex?Either you open a conversation about downgrading this relationshio to a friendship, about you getting to have a FWB / concubine, or it's 99.999999% over.
>>33931111 (checked)>>33932026>>33932223 (almost checked)How does one bring this up though? I imagine women are taught from day 1 that if your man is asking you this its time to move on
>>33930645>What the actual fuck do I do?Find someone else, duh. She seems to just naturally have a low drive, it happens but it obviously pointless if you don't match up in this regard.Also never gf up a woman who doesn't match sexually ever again, saves a shitload of trouble to not have to go througha full blown breakup if it turns out you're not compatible.
>>33930645Make her hit up the gymPhysical workout increases the levels of testosterone in the body even in women and high T increases the libido
>>33932029i like u anon, i hope you sort out ur issue with your gfhave a flower :D (if it breaks i'm gonna cry ):) __ __/ \__ / \__/ \ \__/..\__/ / \__/ \ \__/ \__/ \__/ || || || .'/.'\.'...'.'..'..'.'.
>>33935152;—;
>>33930645>which I would like to think I'm above>My options are either keep at this and kill myself before 30lol. if your relationships depend on whether you can stick your dick on your partner or not then you're the problem. quit porn and enjoy your beautiful girlfriend, jackass
>>33935220Wanting your partner to sleep with you is irredeemable? Feel like most people want that out of a relationship
>>33935152>>33935160Remember: the effort is aways appreciated regardless of the outcome
You don't have sex with your gf?That's what a gf is for.
>>33935152>>33935152let me try to fix it ;)```````__````__/ \__````/ \__/ \```\__/..\__/````/ \__/ \```\__/ \__/``````\__/````````|````````||````````||``````.'/.'\.'.````..'.'..'..'.'.
>>33938814ty anon >>33937832I am lucky enough that I find my gf to be for a lot more than just sex. I just also want sex to be a part of it
>>33930645>does not masturbate, does not consume porn or smut of any kindSorry to break it to you, but I find that very unlikely. I had a crush who was like just like you described and she had a boyfriend which was, supposedly, very jealous of her; so she wouldn't like him to know that she used to talk to me and tell me about her the yaoi stuff she consumed. Also you couldn't know what she does all the time, unless you were all the time after her.Anyway, that's just my experience and maybe it isn't happening to you.
>>33930645definitely might be a hormone issue, look into the hormonal balancing effects of the supplements shilijit (prescribed in eastern cultures for any kind of sexual issue) or creatine (used by body builders but endless ladies have testified to how beneficial it was for them, definitely upping sex drive)
>>33932029>>33935152>>33938814>>33940164oh I didn't realize that was meant for me, I fixed my own flower lol. But that should have been sent to OP, I'm not the one having the relationship problems, I only start at >>33931175. Thanks though.
>>33930645You have to learn how to be attractive. It’s an actual skill. It’s a mix of confidence personality and slow erotic performance. When they say foreplay is before the bed it’s true. It’s day to day. Week to week and honestly you won’t see an increased sex drive immediately. You can increase her sex drive but it won’t be to the level of a man’s. Unless she’s a slut. >>33935220Ironically this. If you can’t handle this situation. You can’t handle the futureproblems the relationship will bring. >>33940240You didn’t give any advice at all? You just gave your own anecdote and spewed about how you’re friendzoned.
>>33930645you mentioned she's autistic, maybe she's into some meds that mess with the libido in her body? try talking with her to check it with her psychiatrist or endocrinologist. if she doesn't takes any meds, visiting the gynecologist is a good idea. as a girl, i can tell that even minor menstrual cycle deregulations or bad eating habits can mess with our sexual desire. including onions and flax seeds in my diet and changing my meds worked for me, but seeing a professional will help to find exactly what's the problem and how to fix it. good luck op !!
>You didn’t give any advice at all? You just gave your own anecdote and spewed about how you’re friendzoned.Yes.
>>33940240Obviously she has encountered erotic content before but she is really not seeking it out>>33940947I've heard this a lot but one part of this I've never figured out - what happens when something comes up and kills the mood? Almost every day is going to bring little stresses and annoyances, how do you prevent those from undoing all the work you put in to get her aroused?>>33940906I hadn't heard of shilijit before, definitely going to look into it. Also didn't know of that effect of creatine for women, seems like it's worth a shot. Thanks man>>33941491I think her menstrual cycle plays a big part in her mood and has caused her a lot of problems at times. I don't think she's had any luck at the gynecologist though, they offered an optional but somewhat risky surgery that she didn't feel was worthwhile. Curious about the onions and flax though, what did they change for you?
>>33930645Believe me she is into sex more than you can imagine. Problem with autistic girls is that they are insanely shy and prideful about certain topics. If you stick to her maybe in one or two years she will let loose and show you what an absolute freak she is. But I'd break up if I were you. Not worth dealing with someone who is dysfunctional. No, you are not going to fix her and you're not her savior.
>>33943780What am I trying to fix, exactly? I like her as is, I just also enjoy sex
