I've felt like I could be trans masc for a really long time, and it became a sort of daydream obsession where I'd zone out imagining how life would be different if I was a guy.My therapist thinks I'm just using the fantasy for escapism and that I'm not really trans so he won't give me any prescriptions.He recommended I try to vent anonymously online about my feelings, and see how people respond with all my internal thoughts out in the open. I've tried Tumblr and Reddit already with anon asks and throwaway accounts. Tumblr said I'm valid, Reddit said I might be trans. I get the feeling he maybe wanted me to build some more confidence before prescribing me anything and this is part of it.I've told my bf I'd love to swap to being the bf and let him be the gf. He thought it was funny at first. When I kept saying it he liked it less, and started telling me how men aren't living anime hero lives and how people aren't as nice to guys they meet.I've been thinking about that, and I know that would take some getting used to, but I think I could eventually handle it. I'm working out to build muscle, which is just toning the muscles for now but I'm expecting to bulk up whenever I get to start testosterone.He said no one would take me seriously since I'm short, and I figure that already factors into how people treat me so I'm already used to being treated a certain way for being small. Plus there are plenty of men in history who were short but ended up being majorly influential, so being short doesn't mean I'm condemned to irrelevance.I'm in my ultimate Frisbee class this morning but I wanted to know, do I sound valid at all? How hard will it be to adjust to being a guy, what difficulties should I prepare for?
just be a masculine woman/tomboy. it's that simple. Womanhood and manhood are not confined to stereotypes, behaviours, or attractiveness. You're an individual like everyone else and trooning will absolutely affect your outward social status (wow a gullible and self obsessed woman fell for a crude false promise and is now fucking ugly lol) and personal relationships (wow my friend/family member is so broken and I feel terrible, it'll be so mentally draining to tiptoe around and pretend to see her as a man. oh my god is she in pain ? will she off herself ?)Don't pathologise your insecurities and make it everyone else's problem too. You'll always be a woman but if you troon you'll have definite health complications and regret, and for what ?taking testosterone is a much more aggressive and irreversable process than estrogen. you'll essentially go through perpetual menopause and that is agonising.anyways what aspects do you specifically fantasise about ?
My initial worry, as with most people who believe they're trans, is whether you "want" to be a man, or "are" a man. There's a very big difference. Wanting something might be founded on an idealized notion of what being a man is like, and I assure you that popular media gives a very distorted view of that. It can be intensely lonely, with little support given because you're expected to power through any number of obstacles. Whatever physique you might envision for yourself might not materialize in the way you dream because genetics are a bitch, and transmen have a hard time gaining even on test a lot of the time. As for your height: A short woman might be looked at as cute, dainty, even desirable because of that, where a short man is almost exclusively derided because of it. Going back to tthe support thing: men are very often ignored, belittled, and otherwise have a really hard time when they attempt to open up to anyone. Expect that people, particularly left leaning ones, will pay lip service to "wanting to be there for you" but when you attempt to open up (even slightly, I'm talking you had a rough day and just want to vent a little, nothing too dramatic) will quickly change the subject.I don't mean to be a downer, but the fact is that daydreaming and "wanting" something is very different from feeling, on a visceral level, that you're in the wrong body. Hormones can really fuck a person up in ways you cannot even imagine. I'd recommend experimenting with clothing/presentation before anything else. Biological women can get away with dressing more masculine a lot of the time, and that might scratch your particular itch. A lot of therpists also would want you to fully live as a man for a while before perscribing anything, and the fact you've seemingly made no steps towards that by your own desire is kinda telling.
>>33951297There’s a documentary about a woman that disguised as and lived as a man for several months as a feminist experiment to show men have easier lives than women. Instead she found that like women, men have their own problems that for her were very mentally taxing, like how limited their opportunities at socialization were. The documentary (originally a paper) was by Norah Vincent in 2006, called The Self-Made Man. https://youtu.be/Ip7kP_dd6LUI bring this up because physical things can be changed relatively easily nowadays provided you have money, but the mental strain isn’t worth the swap. You’ll always live with only one and the same mind. Don’t risk screwing it up, because any scars are near permanent.
>>33951341cont.so essentially it's easier to just Be YourselfTM, strive for physical and emotional health, be a productive and contributing member of ur circle.Literally nobody cares or notices how you present yourself, or if in your private life you 'wear the pants' or do pegging or whatever
>>33951348alsoyou've already had female socialisation and brain development. You'll never achieve the wholly masculine being you want to embody
>>33951341>just be a masculine woman/tomboy.I'm already kind of a tomboy. It just doesn't scratch the itch. When I was growing up, it always felt like my dad was actively positioning himself protectively in my vicinity. I get the same feeling with my bf, and...I do appreciate the care and the love guiding that behavior, but I don't want to make people feel like they have to protect me. I want to be seen as strong and capable in my own right. I don't feel like I can hang out with my friends anymore because there's this sense of everyone looks out for everyone else, and again that is a beautiful expression of care, but I don't want to feel like I'm someone else's responsibility.In my fantasies, I imagine myself as a big enough guy that my bf is twinkish comparatively. I imagine rough housing with my bf and guys for fun, and just sitting in the park at night with a beer to look at the stars without somebody trying to tell me "don't drink yourself sick" or otherwise monitoring me.>>33951346I didn't indicate in my first post, but I dress in t shirts and jeans most days. That's kinda unisex I know, but I wear mostly guy-style tees and I got a short haircut a few months ago. It's hard to try to put myself out there to live as a guy when I don't feel like I've got the juice for it yet, but I've been taking baby steps.>>33951347I know guys have their own problems, I just feel like if I could choose between the stuff that bothers me now or the stuff that would bothers me if I were a guy, I could handle that stuff more ably.>>33951353Maybe, maybe not. I grew up online playing MMOs with my brother. I feel like I got a healthy amount of male socialization from the people on there.
>>33951427sounds like you need to grow up and become a chunky butch. you won't gain any height, so grow wider.Do more physical labour and skill building. Get into woodworking and chop your own wood.You'll never become the strong dependable person you're seeking without the actual work and experiences that create such a person.Focus on that first and in all likelihood you'll become so preoccupied with your new hobbies and community that you won't care about it anymore.
>>33951427Okay so it seems to me this is stemming from you being perceived that you're delicate/need protecting/etc and you believeing that wouldn't happen if you're perceived as a man. I don't think that necessarily speaks to gender dysphoria desu, and neither do the daydreams of roughhousing. Do you have issues with fundamental body characteristics in the genital/breast department? Does being perceived as female bother you in the case that the rest of that stuff (the being looked at as delicate/weak) magically be resolved? It seems this might be stemming from somewhere otther than gender, but that's me being an armchair shrink.
>>33951427I feel like you have a very idealized version of what its like to be a large dude. I am 24 and bigger than most people, the benefits are very few and far between. I dont have a partner who looks out for me because I have no confidence in myself. I drink alone to cope with how lonely I am but now I've been cutting back, and absolutely nobody in my life notices or cares. I lift weights and play music everyday to cope in a healthy way but really nobody other than myself cares or notices any progress I make. I know my parents and family loves me but most of the time it feels like I am absolutely replaceable and a failure of a man. I feel like there are things you go through as a man that are incomprehensible for a woman and vice versa. But imo the biggest difference is how uncaring and little attention you receive as a man. Like fuck I've been yearning for a hug for 5+ years and now I've been tricking myself into thinking that is asking too much.
>>33951443I don't want to make myself fat. I like being athletic and moving around. I'm hoping to transition into the vicinity of looking like David Corenswet.>>33951451I guess that it's more how society and people regard me that bothers me, for the most part. I'd like to look like a hunky guy, but I'd be ok with it if the way people treated me changed without my body changing.>>33951500I'm sorry stuff is so rough. I know life isn't automatically easy for guys, I just felt like the particular problems I face aren't the kind a guy would, and that I would be more ok with handling guy problems.I should probably think about it more.
>>33951297Just get a short hair cut and peg your sissy cuck boyfriend. Trans man=disgusting surgery disaster and laughable body hair and little pooner voice. Nobody should want to be a manlet.
>>33951746If Corenswet is your goal, you very likely won't make it. No offense, but that man is a genetic marvel of a human being, and probably on a good number of PEDs.
>>33951746If it's how society treats you, then that also doesn't sound like gender dysphoria. Maybe take up a martial art, something where skill matters, and get good enough you can negate height/weight advantages, like BJJ.
>>33951746chunky with muscle not fat, dummy>transpo is literally supermanLOL ok lost cause, I'm out.
>>33951793Will that really help me? I've heard I can gain some height if I start HRT before 25 bc I'm not done growing, but with just martial arts training and being at 5'3" I don't feel like it will be enough for people to take me seriously.>>33951799I know I probably can't match David Corenswet but I was hoping to end up in the same category.
>>33952042>5'3please let this be a bait thread. actual pooner physique and mentality. get over yourself. focus on your personality before your gender.
>>33952144I don't feel like that's fair to say. I have a good personality. Why do you say it like I have a personality problem because I don't like the way people treat me? I'm not even shitty to them about it, I hide my annoyance as much as I can.
>>33951297You're the same as my sister. She wanted to be a guy too, but eventually she just got on prescription marijuana and chilled tf out about gender stuff and she didn't care about trying to become a man anymore.
>>33952042I'm gonna level with you: very little of your responses indicate to me that you're transgender. I'd have an honest conversation with your therapist about why they don't think you are, and really listen to what they say. Good luck.
>>33952662You're obviously self conscious and insecure about your physique (because that's what influences how people treat you primarily, secondarily they sense your resulting insecurity)you ignored everything about this >>33951443except the 'big' part. you're being niggardly. selective reading. a fool. and misandrist, since you think you could 'handle guy's problems better' you can barely handle being yourself regardless of gender.
>>33951297You will never be a man.
Pooner
>>33951297>He said no one would take me seriously since I'm short, and I figure that already factors into how people treat me so I'm already used to being treated a certain way for being small. Plus there are plenty of men in history who were short but ended up being majorly influential, so being short doesn't mean I'm condemned to irrelevance.Don't get me wrong, women have it bad, the worst of the 2 genders, but you're severely underestimating how bad short guys are treated By the way you're therapist is right, you are using this as escapism for the fact that you hate the state of how women are treated in society You hate being a woman and think being a man will actually help you, but in reality you'll just continue to be miserable with different problemsYou're not curing your issue, you're just switching it to something else
