its obscene how much of our permanent shape is defined by the places we weren't held tightly enough when we were young and soft. we are all infant achilles, and every spot missed is an eternal wound. nobody has ever been there for me, i've never been able to count on anyone even just to listen. i can feel myself like an infant just reaching out for anything or anyone but there is truly nothing and nobody, and i don't even have much to say. i just want to be cared for, and nobody will. people like me well enough, but nobody would hold me. what is the point of anything. i am always so so scared and nobody ever soothes it. i have nobody to say this to other than you, either.
