It would be really great if I wasn't neglected growing up and I could actually handle things in life. Never had ambition for any bogus career or success, never knew how peoples emotions worked. Diet and drugs let me see "past the veil" for a moment but nonetheless I feel perpetually alien to almost every single person. I live in autopilot as a cope for the childhood I was never allowed to have. Attend the institutions, talk to few. Eat the food. Look at the media. Go back to my own devices and tend my curiosities. No love for anything but art- useless, just like me.I wish there were simple answers like that my parents have no idea what its like to be creative. Or that I'm simply a person who prefers solitude.But the sheer amount of love I feel from the lucid moments of belonging with eager, kind people are more powerful than sex or any drug. They compel me to keep living in this painful finite existence. Living in the moment is a pain when you are so mentally confused and confuddled that you're the one spinning around in circles, over and over again, like a dog chasing its tail- me trying to !get up!, and make something out of my life.I want to be a man. Not a ghost. I dont know if I can.
>>33999452Elon Musk got beaten and today he is a vrillionaire. Stop telling yourself that it’s okay to hold back because of your past. It’s not a valid excuse.
>>33999526...am I just retarded if I continue to fail.Its like I am a dog chasing my tail. How can I know what to do when every time I try it alludes me (or I repel it)I feel like shit wasting my precious finite life!And 4chan is the most superfluous thing I use regularly.
>>33999452Stop taking drugs and talk to your peers retard, get out of your head. You'll only be young once. Stop fucking up.
>>33999526>Elon Musk got beaten and today he is a vrillionaireyou have this backwards. the conclusion iseven a loser can make it if he's born rich and connected enough
