Lately I’ve been stressed as hell ’cause I have literally nothing to do on my phone (internet addict problems, and yeah, I don't have any friends). I used to kill a ton of time scrolling TikTok, talking to random dudes on Discord, and playing Roblox. I uninstalled all three ’cause they’re basically brain-eating amoebas filled with the dumbest people alive (I was one of them, so yeah)But to distract myself I just ended up getting addicted to Genshin and F&H, watching garbage movies, going back to chans, gore forums, and jerking off every day (with way too much porn). Somehow I managed to get worse, but honestly I still prefer this over what I was doing before… even though my stress went upAnd on top of all that, I can’t stop thinking about how the people I used to talk to don’t talk to me anymore ’cause I got pissed at all of them for… wanting me? I’m not kidding, even my childhood best friend wanted to hook up and I snapped at him for basically ruining our friendship. The only person I talk to at school now is this girl who kinda adopted me, and she’s weird too (she romanticizes school shootings)So yeah, right now I’ve got no good people in my life and I’m not doing anything good either. I feel depressed, and it’s not like a vitamin thing (I get blood tests regularly). I think it’s just all this crap I consume ’cause I don’t have friends or a girlfriend. When I did, I stopped doing all this stuffBut if I don’t do any of it… what the hell am I supposed to do? Everything fun involves money or having friends. I literally have no one to hang out with in this dead-end town. And I can’t even find a job ’cause this place is so tiny it’s known as a “college town” where people graduate just to immediately move away because there’s no work hereI tried making online friends but I suck at that tooI seriously need advice
The girl said I looked like a school shooter. At the time I wanted to kill myself, but I got over itI believe that was the reason she approached me. Now I wonder if I should remain friends with her in case she decides to commit a school massacre and let me live
