I made the classic mistake of getting involved with a coworker. We've known each other 10 years, been together for the last 2. In 2022 her brother died under tragic circumstances, and I stepped into her life to console her. She and I also spearheaded a movement to unionize our workplace at that time. I think between those two things, we started to look at each other in a different light, and a romance developed.Fast forward to 2025, and she's completely cut me out of her life without explanation. I'm gutted. I sincerely don't know what happened. I've tried calling and texting, but she won't talk to me.I'm sure there are pieces of this I'm overlooking, so happy to answer questions and fill in the blanks. But broadly - should I say something at work? I don't know if I want her back or if I want closure. I just feel like I'm freefalling and I need to find my footing here. It's been gnawing away at me morning, noon and night.
>>34001327I'd move on and not spend a moment dwelling on it.File this under good while it lasted.
>>34001327I'm a stupid bitch and ragespam in every thread for attention. How about that, Hoss?
>>34001327>should I say something at work?Not unless you want to get reported to HR. She's made it crystal clear she doesn't want you to talk to her; you need to respect her wishes. Not doing so is just creepy.
>>34001327Getting cut off with no closure or explanation is one of the most painful ways these types of things can end, man. It could be any kind of mental illness or attachment/personality disorder that you weren't privy to over the past decade before you were actually romantically involved.Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it without risking your entire career. If you change jobs, then maybe during your last 2 weeks there you could ask her, but don't expect to get a straight (or any) answer from her, women aren't wired for accountability.
>>34001657>>34001591It's just nuts because we work pretty closely and sometimes it's just the two of us. The dynamic feels exactly the same and the vibes are good, we share the same inside jokes we always have, that sense of closeness hasn't gone away. I feel like I'm losing my mind.I mean, shit, we visited her parents for New Year's Eve. I don't understand how we went from that, to never seeing each other outside work ever again.
>>34002330Women use men until they don't need them anymore or find someone better to use. Just be glad she didn't waste decades of your time.
>>34001327She behaved inexcusably, but there's nothing you can do. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.The correct course of action is to do what you can to process this emotionally, but to retain grudge for your own protection. Your well-being clearly doesn't matter to her if she is capable of behaving like this.If instead of doing the right thing you still want to get back together - then I'm sorry to say that your highest chance is if you ignore her. Either way, your course of action is clear.
>>34002367Tbh I'm still reeling and I'm not sure what I want. I don't think it's my choice in any case. I can feel my mental health starting to tank, which is worrisome, especially as we proceed into the winter doldrums. This probably sounds pathetic, but being around her and having to bottle my feelings is brutally painful. I go home and fixate all night. I don't know how to emotionally protect myself here.
>>34002420Sounds like a job for a therapist. Get one. It costs a lot but it makes the feelings go away. And I'm not advocating bottling it up. I'm advocating holding a grudge. Not the same.Get a therapist.
>>34001591Generally speaking, as long as OP wasn't her superior at work it's fine. Some HR departments now require you to report that you're in a relationship to cover your ass, but this would depend on his specific employer's policies
so you guys were actively dating for 2 years (officially bg/gf) and she just drops you like nothing? or was it more of a push/pull "will they won't they" dynamic? and she still cool with you at work but not engaging outside of work? i fee like there's more details on the build up to this point that is missing.i dunno seems very odd to easily compartmentalize a relationship like this on her part. how known was your relationship at work? you could try scoping out see if other coworkers have heard anything regarding her behavior but you have to be subtle about it. me though? if i had 12+ years of knowing each other i would point blank ask her during a lull at work what the deal is just for closure but i'm OCD. again, at work you have to be careful how you word it out.
She found something bad enough about you to cut ties completely. Can you speculate what that could be?
Whats up with this video? She's just ordering. Is it because she's really pretty or is it the combo of that and her mannerisms? Do men actually notice that stuff?
>>34002926> or was it more of a push/pull "will they won't they" dynamic?We were exclusive, celebrated holidays and birthdays together, went out of town together, met each other's families. I suppose there was a push-pull dynamic in the sense that the more I pursued, the more she pulled away. She also never wanted to put a label on things, even though she agreed to all the terms of what I personally consider a relationship. >i fee like there's more details on the build up to this point that is missing.Things seemed to take a turn when a trip we'd planned fell through earlier this year. I was admittedly miffed because it was a ton of PTO down the drain, so I was kinda cold about it. She seemed to feel bad or weird or some type of way after that, because she started withdrawing.Anyway her birthday followed shortly after. Because things had gotten weird, I didn't feel comfortable inviting myself to whatever she might've planned. So that passed, and the bad vibes compounded. Finally I broke the ice and called her one night - "Hey, I don't know what happened, I feel about about the way I handled our trip and your birthday, can we pick up where we left off?" She said she had been so confused, and gave an emphatic YES to putting this all behind us.So then my birthday rolls around, and I joke about still having her gift, and we make plans to get together, exchange gifts, spend the night.Those plans never materialized. Fast forward a month, and here we are.
>>34003038Its mostly her mannerisms, shes cute but not super noteworthy in and of herself.>Do men actually notice that stuff?Yes? I know women tend to think of men as NPCs that only see booba, but we do notice and care about the vibe a woman gives off very much. At least the ones among us that aren't socially gimped and thirsty Beta spergs
>>34001327Bro I hooked up with a girl for 3 months and she did went non-comm too, and even that made me feel like shit. I can't imagine how you're feeling after all that. I'm sorry dude. People who do this are the lowest of the low, total scum and basically sociopaths.
>>34004416Try accidently ending up in a 3 year non committal that makes you want to rope yourself because their lack of honesty and the unbelievable amount of infidelity. Fucking posh.
>>34004486>non committal>infidelity
>>34003038Is tough to get a handle on what's going on. Is she flirting? Hamming it up for the camera? The lack of audio compounds the mystery. There's just something alluring about it.
>>34002330>I don't understand how we went from that, to never seeing each other outside work ever again.You don't need to understand it; you just need to respect it.
>>34004379>>34005403Hmm yes yes. May I request more video evidence of this phenomenon? I need to get cute enough to coast thru life.
>>34001327>I sincerely don't know what happened.*doubt*
>>34006996I dunno if she's coasting thru life based on that clip. She's just being animated while receiving a meal she paid for.
