I don't know if it's adhd or ocd or trauma or some unholy mashup of them and more, but whatever it is, it's ruind my life.A few years ago I finished the first draft of my second novel. It was poorly planned and ended up taking three years because the plot and cast changed multiple times as I was writing it. I told myself I would fix everything in the second draft, but when I got to the end I realized I'd need another three years to fix everything and my brain just brokenow I can't write, I can't draw, I can't do game design, or any of the other hobbies I have. I've become compulsively perfectionistic, to the point that 90% of the time I spend on my hobbies is spent agonizing over the easiest and most elegant way to do something, and being overwhelmed by how much work I have to do to make things turn out how I want. I can't get anything done like thisI have no control over my brain and neither therapists or medications have helped. Jesus is right out, if that cunt exists then he's responsible for all this, and I'd rather put him back on the fucking cross than turn to him for help. I've tried exercising, fixing my diet, eating right, taking breaks. None of it has workedI don't know why I'm even posting this. I know any advice I get is just going to be you telling me to kill myself or copying and pasting from chatgpt. I just know that I'm desperate for a cure, and right now the only one I can think of is a bullet.
Just change one page per day. I know sometimes projects seem insurmountable but if you see the crap they put on TV and in bookstores, even half-assing your novel will be like gold next time.I've been working on a pilot for years and had to rethink and rework the script multiple times. As shitty as it is to see the mountain of work ahead, I know that denying my impulse to create makes me feel aimless and depressed. You can do it! It's just words. You think Twilight is some masterpiece of fiction? You can beat that.
>>34002522>I spend on my hobbies is spent agonizing over the easiest and most elegant way to do somethingThis is mostly not a negative trait to have and you're actually one of the few gifted.It means you CARE, which differs a lot of from the dead-brained fuckers on this shithole of a planet we were bunched up in.I think you should just try to Hulk it up, harness it and don't let it run you. Cliche, but some kind of meditation maybe or a paradigm shift could help.All the best, anon.
>>34002522yeah, this is a good tip>>34003208do one page or function a day.i like gamedesign too, even tough i never finished a game. i used to get allot done on a game in a week, then i never wanted to look at the code again. i fixed that by just doing a function a day, you dont seem to have the same problem as me toughmaybe cooperating with someone will help? lessen the workload on a project. im fiddling with a game, do you code c++?
>>34003318>im fiddling with a game, do you code c++?it's a ttrpg, so I'm not actually coding anything unless you count markdown++ and scss.Unfortunately, the game I'm working on is just a classless generic fantasy with no intended setting, so it's probably going to going to blend in with everything in drivethrurpg, assuming I even put it up. I have other less generic ideas, but one is held back by the aforementioned OCD and the other is a clusterfuck because it's actually chess modded into a rpg and I don't play chess
>>34003392>it's actually chess modded into a rpg and I don't play chesskek
>>34002522Your self talk is negative. Can’t do this and can’t do that. Lying is wrong, especially to yourself.
>>34002522Nah I feel you. I'm permastuck on being moderately experienced in a million different things because I can never focus on something for longer than two months. The worst part is watching people you should absolutely be lapping on paper just do better than you because they could be more consistent. It's such a fucking curse.
