Sounds like you have toxic people in your life and you should hang out with more supportive friends. If I misread your ramblings please forgive me.

>>34003186
I think I should clarify the misunderstandings and me going along with things I don’t agree with

What I really meant was that I try to fit the assumptions people make about me and who they think I am, and this leads to me answering for choices that aren’t my own and that I feel almost manipulated into doing and carrying out in retrospect. It also leads to self sabotage and constant downplaying of my abilities while refraining from proving that I can be better out of fear of insulting others or making them look bad to make myself look better. If someone explains something I already know, I pretend to genuinely value what they said as if it’s new information. I know part of this is my fault and I do feed into it by behaving this way but I also think it’s unfair for people to judge me and others this way to preserve their own self image and ego and getting upset when other people shatter this and cause their expectations to be incongruent with reality. It’s never fair to assume the worst from others and then get offended that the person didn’t act exactly how you thought they would by your standards and baseless expectations you selfishly pushed onto them. It’s dishonest at best and malicious at worst.

>>34003255
I did have one roommate for two years who made me think about this sort of manipulative behavior and it really opened my eyes but made me more misanthropic and neurotic and did a number on my self esteem

He would always do the thing I mentioned where he would expect me to fail at everything and then act condescending when I would succeed and explain in great detail how he thought I would fail as if he had spent a great amount of time thinking about it and anticipating it
He would preemptively correct me before I did anything so he could always be right without giving me the chance to act or prove my competence
He would constantly nudge me one way and insist I do things the way he recommended only to immediately invalidate those efforts
He never let me do anything my way and would just keep repeating the same recommendations until I did them
He was also very pedantic in general and would always try to correct everything I said or did just so he could be right about something, even just harmless observations or statements of opinion

And even after all that I still would place my trust in him as his friend even after being let down and even though he never put any faith in me and only instilled doubt. He once tried to microwave a frozen pizza and instead of calling him a moron I applied good faith rationale to his seemingly bizarre decision and let him do it, thinking he knew it was supposed to go in the oven but chose to microwave it out of laziness. He admitted afterwards that he legitimately didn’t realize it wasn’t supposed to be cooked in a microwave, and I’m just sitting there thinking “no shit I coulda told you that.” I feel like the people I interact with never act in such a way with me and always feel they have to be critical of everything I do and always assume I’ll make the worst possible choice in every situation I find myself in while I always think maybe there’s a reason people do things “wrong” and MY perception is wrong

>>34003186
I haven’t even finished reading and I am bumping this. Same kind of problems here.

>>34003186
Who elected you Master Teacher To The World? Try going a whole day without correcting anybody about anything, and discover that the world does not end without your supervision

>>34004357
I don't tell anyone how to do anything differently than how they already do it. It's their life and they probably know more than I do and have a better handling of whatever task than I do (except in situations where I choose not to say anything and it turns out they actually were doing it wrong because of lack of information I could have given them, which unfortunately is pretty common)
It's other people who form these expectations of others in their minds and always without fail give themselves more merit than what they lend to others because we all want to believe we're right about everything and get annoyed when reality contradicts our expectations and we're forced to rethink our preconceived notions. All of a sudden, our knowledge is diminished and replaced with uncertainty, which we hate, and we subconsciously resent the things that cause this.

I believe this is the explanation for what I described in the OP where you can surpass someone's expectations and they will still be resentful or annoyed, even when it's to their benefit and would normally be seen as a good thing to be wrong about. Ironically, I'll find others trying to correct me and I do everything the way they tell me because I can't find a good reason to argue against their way and they watch me do it to make sure it's done how they want because they think I'm retarded. And I always get a sense of joy when it doesn't work and they predictably get mad and take it out on me because they watched me do it their way to a T and know they can't shift the blame onto me and must accept the reality that they're wrong. I left it up to them to see who was right and played along in good faith. Reality corrected them, I didn't do anything.

So is it really my fault? I can't control other people's assumptions about me. I'm resented when I act truthfully and it just happens to be inconsistent with the expectations they unfairly placed on me. I'm not obligated to fulfill their headcanons made up scenarios

bump