In order to live the life that you ultimately desire, and not merely be in the state of “not incontent” is it better to focus on banning certain habits / distractions or focus on pursuing certain habits / activities?As far as I can tell from my own experiences it is 99% about removing distractions from your life and 1% about having the willpower to actual act afterwardsBut I am not sure of this ratioFor example, I banned myself (more like 90-95% less usage) from using social media recently while on my pc, and fapping at my pc, and saw my total time spent on hobbies drastically increase. Some are casual like gaming and others are more focused and creative like writing or drawing, reading to study a language. But now I’m back to just scrolling and fapping and getting tiny things doneIt feels like a chicken and the egg scenario. Am I more productive because I removed distractions or did I remove them because my mind was in a “productivity mode” that it eventually lost steam and cycled out of back to a more mellow state
do you have a job? you should stop fapping, for one
My phone died before I could continue this rant…There are times when I realize how much time there truly is in a day if spent efficiently. And how much that could accumulate to growth / just enjoyment, not like life is one big investment, week to week, month to month I wonder if, even if I passively did something, just how much I could get done using something as a filler of time. Farming it in the moments I would be using a distraction as a crutch otherwise.But, being in this sort of mode where you can always be doing something feels a bit forced in a way, not merely an absence of distractions but a dedication towards striving for more more moreWhat’s the balance here?It would be nice to just, by nature, always be doing something and then cycle through things I enjoy, without risk of getting distracted much or feeling any sort of quota necessary.
>>34004827It is best to have a plan.
>>34005089yeah i got a job
>>34004827Choosing to do something as an act of will, rather than because the chemicals told you it was good, has been a struggle for countless great men for ages.Its been said that mastering yourself is an act of true greatness, perhaps even the first of many.
>>34004827I would say it’s the other way around. It’s 99% if not 100% about finding motivation.That’s why you keep going back to your bad habits. You created a void but don’t have anything to fill it up with. You need to find something in life that is more important to you than social media and porn. When you do that, you will just naturally ignore the distractions.
>>34006099Interesting, I guess you have a point, but on the other hand motivation is temporary
I guess the point I also want to make is that I just want my life to naturally fall into place, the things I enjoy would simply be who I am, not something I remind myself to be / doWhich is why I was focusing on the removal of things vs striving to do thingsTo not have months of inactivity then going "Oh I do enjoy this let me do it regularly again" but to just have that be a point of origin
>>34004827The only reason I'm replying to you right now is because that everything you just said is DIRECTLY opposed to my findings based on EXTENSIVE, REAL LIFE EXPERIMENTS. I thought I was addicted to my computer, I took it away, now there's a 12 hour gap in my day. I thought it would make me productive - it didn't. You DON'T take away the thing that you currently do that keeps you placated. You instead introduce something into your life. 12 hours of PC turns into 11 hours of PC and 1 hour of a walk outside, or singing group/hobby group. Or 1 hour of doing groceries and 11 hours of PC. Slowly you introduce more and more. You don't stop cold turkey, that does work but it's like pulling the plug on your dopamine - you'll legit have ZERO motivation to do ANYTHING!!!Just knowing that you can still play that game and fap and watch videos and be a total degenerate after your 1 productive hour and getting to experience it, keeps you going way better than having 12 hours of nothing and a very confusing, disorienting crash out.
i fap but not to porn because the women are abused or are only doing the porn because theyre in a bad life situation.you could make a job out of social media if you wanted. it's only a "distraction" if it's not something you want to pursue that will make you money. usually we procrastinate and get "distracted" when we're not clear and determined about our goal or career path. so get clear on why that is, why is it difficult for you to go full steam ahead on your career or hobby, and why do you turn on the social media or porn instead, and neglect doing the other things?
>>34007284for me its because i feel very trapped by my parents, and angry at all the abuse, and i know that when they sense i am moving on with my life, they will try to undermine me again. but i have to just keep pushing forward as much as i can, every day, even if i dont necessarily know where im going or whether it will work out. i just cant stay here anymore, thats all i know.
>>34007053Feels a bit of a weird comparison but maybe it’s similar to how one should properly dietNot just cold turkey change everything you eat overnight, but instead substitute for healthier options, eat less bad stuff, introduce healthier things you’ve avoided Substitute things you do in your free time with more productive hobbies, curb doomscrolling a bit, and try new things you’ve avoided
>>34007946It's not weird at all, what do you think I was doing on my PC? Watching videos, fapping, social media, gaming. As you call them - distractions. And yeah exactly, introduce - don't take away. Taking away leaves a massive dopamine gap that TANKS your motivation and happiness. Like it or not - you're on life support buddy. That fapping and gaming and eating bad and social media and all those crap videos you watch are what keeps you going in life. Your body and mind don't know any other source for happiness.
.
