>>34008645
Paternity tests before birth come with a small risk of miscarriage. Better to wait for the cheek swab anon.

>>34008645
>How do I prepare?
buy diapers and noise cancelling headphones

>>34008849
And a machine for steaming bottles, you may need to supplement teh boobies.

Also a sturdy pram.

Get rid of any pets.

>>34008645
yeah, do the paternity test when it's born, but otherwise that's how it should be, nobody is prepared that young.
hers and yours parents should help big time, that's a privilege of having kids on time.

>>34008645
No one is ever ready to be a father and it's everyone's first time doing so.

Just know this, you are no longer the most important person in your own life. From this moment forward, all of your actions need to be in the best the interest of your child / baby mama.

Welcome to being a father / adult. This is the greatest thing to ever happen to you. You'll be glad that you did when your child starts growing, maturing, and excelling. Everyone who is blood related to you is happy that you did this. They might call you a moron, they might say that you were too young / unprepared, but you just gave them grandchildren / extended the family tree which is by far the most impactful act that someone can do with their life.

The best advice that I can give you is to stick it out with this girl as long as you possibly can. Build a life with her. Protect her and your child the best that you can. You're going to have arguments / disagreements. No one marries their "best friend". Whatever you do, don't walk away from her. She's not perfect, but neither are you. And dating as a single dad who walked away from the mother of his child is a monster red flag for most.

Kids are fun but just remember one thing.

1. Purple time. Babies cry and won't stop. If its too much. Put the baby down and walk out of the room for a while.

There is an instant flight or fight response that can be triggered with babies crying.

They won't stop sometimes. They are fed, dry and fine but keep crying.

Father of 3. Just make sure they are comfy and take a minute to avoid shaking them.

Silly advice but you will be there.

Once they are 1-2 its gangbusters.

Once they are reading at 2.5 its on

Once they memorize periodic table at 5 you know public school is a joke.

Like live with these guys. Its half of your body so give them half your time. When I know I need to finish and its a big deal I always involve the kids and let them fuck it up or explore whatever.

>>34008645
>I'm too much of a moralfag to do so

Well, first of all, who matters is the baby, not the woman. You don't have to live with her, you don't have to be her exclusive boyfriend and you certainly do not have to marry her.
As long as you are there for your kid and share the burden within reason with the mother everythign is good. You don't have to consign yourself to living with a so-so woman just because she bore your child.

Source: My dad did that, and my childhood was very cool.

>>34009264
>There is an instant flight or fight response that can be triggered with babies crying.

Whatever you do, DO NOT DO THIS.
Babies don't really think like older kids do, they just feel. And what your kid will feel in that situation is that its dad just dropped it in the woods to get eaten by the wolves, because the baby does not yet have a concept of lying in a safe home yet.
That "Flight or fight" response is actually the baby switching into pure survival mode. And yes, this will leave deep seated trauma as the extremely malleable baby brain will get wired up to fend on its own and not rely on its parents.
Tis was actualyl a fashionable way of "toughening up" babies in the 1940/50s, and its part of why the Boomers are so screwed in the head.
Nowadays, its well researched and connected with all kinds of anxiety disorders, low self esteem and so on. Basically you are wrecking your babies basic trust from the start and wire it to expect only hostility and danger from the world going forward even among loved ones.

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Pump.
The benefits of not feeding your kid onions milk is huge.

>>34008645
you're a father now.
step up
still get a dna test tho...

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>>34008645
>CTRL+F "Marriage" ZERO results
There are enough BASTARDS in the world as it is. You said you didn't want to turn her into a single mom. Well, I have bad news for ya...You ALREADY DID.
But you do have the power to change that.
You don't have much time now, however, since she's about to be speedballing insane hormones which may or may not cause her to lose her fucking mind and rip the relationship apart.
I've seen it happen a few times.
Talk it over with her NOW, before another week passes. Go ask her Father for his blessing. I know, I know, seems trite and old fashioned, but you truly WON'T regret making the effort even if it tanks on you, like you WILL regret it if you don't.

>>34009027
Has the BEST advice ITT, but I'd add, the way to NOT have a baby that cries all the time?
*NO VAXX
*MIDWIFE
* DO NOT CUT UMBILICAL CORD UNTIL IT IS BONE WHITE
*DO NOT CIRCUMCISE
*Breastfeed--NO formula
This wipes out 99% of long bouts of crying.
If your kid is crying for longer than 15 minutes and you've checked everything including their temperature, Something is wrong.
Either that or there's a chance the kid is a Kinesophile and driving the kid around in a car seat with the window slightly open. (You can find this out on the way to the doctor)

I'd LOVE to be able to tell you "Just go listen to other Dads you run into IRL" but that's no kind of advice since there are an overwhelming amount of shitty parents out there.

TL;DR:(I know you did,): Talk about marriage with GF; Then with her Father; Then get a good pediatrician you can TRUST and a good Midwife,(this is something you'll need to do WITH your GF) and see about putting off college for several years and getting a job in the field you'll be studying in anyway,(a lot of places will even PAY for your tuition if you work there long enough.)

Don't sweat the smol stuff, work as as Unit with your soon to be wife, and you'll be just fine.

>>34008645
Why would you risk getting a woman 4 years older than you pregnant?
Why would you date a woman 4 years older than you in the first place?
She's nearing 30. Of course she wants a kid when she's about to "hit the wall".
She could have even planned this and hooked you in.

>>34009592
oh, she absolutely planned this and hooked him in, that's why half the thread is suggesting parental test, if he's trapped, at least he's trapped with his own kid

>>34009566
>step up

His job is to take care of the child, not play welfare office to some woman forever. Gtfo with this cuck shit.

>>34009592
>She could have even planned this and hooked you in.
Thats unfortunately a realistic scenario.
That makes it even more important to not get roped in.Always remember, its about the kid, not the woman. OP owes her nothing, only to the child.

>>34009595
She cannot "trap" him except for child support payments.
It would be a cunt move to abandon the kid, but not the mother. Other than the child, she is a grown up who made a conscious decision.

>>34008645
you just figure it out. get some help from family or friends, you can save money buying used stuff for the baby or getting them from family members who maybe have kids already and can give stuff they dont need anymore. i know people who had kids while getting degress in law/med and they figured it out

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>>34009592
While this is a possibility, accidents do happen.
The only one who really knows is her.
>>34009595
you don't know that, AWALT is bullshit
from the circumstances OP listed, she's either UberTarded to "Trap" a first year cllege student, or it was an accident.
I'd agree that possibly MOST women,(>50%, possibly up to 80%,) are like that, but not all.
Spare me the MGTOW (((Op))) to get Whites to stop reproducing. You don't HAVE to play by that ruleset.
>>34009604
Anon...I...
That IS the trap, if it indeed was intentional.

Also, OP, I forgot to include this:
https://www.aninconvenientstudy.com/
for you to watch with her.
I'd look for some good videos about circumcision and midwifes to watch with her too.

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>>34008645
>How do I prepare
The time for preparation has passed you by. There is only coping now.

>>34008645
Better go get a second job as an overnight stock boy at Walmart. You're gonna be paying for 3 now. Good luck man, you have to pay money until at least 18 and probably beyond. You're fucked...go join the Army or something, then you don't have to raise it. Maybe you'll get killed off too and then it's her problem. Maybe you'll get paid better than what you're doing now. Maybe not. Either way you're gonna get PTSD now from her and/or the kid for a few years. May as well get it for real and get some entitlement payments out of it...that ironically go towards her and the kid. Should have worn a condom bro. Fleshlight was your other option...

FUCK AROUND, FIND OUT! LOLZ!

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OP here, I calmed down throught the day, and I'm feeling less panicky now. One blood test and ultrasound later, it's official: her womb is in pristine condition, and she has a 3-4 week pregnancy in progress (you can more or less see something in there). But that being said, there is a 3 month period of time in which a misscarriage can happen for whatever the hell reason. I'd be easy to say ''oh I hope it happens'' if not for the fact that I know her uterus would never be the same if it did. I've read through the thread, and I've come to face the inevitable: I'll be a father, no matter what. My hoe phase, is oficially over. Thank you, everybody, for participating.
>>34008664
>>34008957
Paternity after its born, got it. Like I said, I'm 100% sure it will be MY CHILD, but we'll do should the baby inherit something I woulnd't want it to inherit
>>34009264
>Put the baby down and walk out of the room for a while
I understand this with 5 year olds, but...babies dude? I grew up in a shitty loud environment, so I'm used to it (its also why I don't like yelling much, but oh well, its a small thing of mine that needs fixing). I'm gonna follow >>34008849 's advice on the noise cancelling headphones if its too much noise
>>34009469
>who matters is the baby, not the woman. You don't have to live with her, you don't have to be her exclusive boyfriend and you certainly do not have to marry her
Hey, if it works out with her it'll work out. If not, oh well, bummer, but I'll still try my best to be present for the kid whenever it needs me. She's really nice, so I hope we can stay together!
>Whatever you do, DO NOT DO THIS.
I figured. Like I said: older kids, okay sure, but babies...?
[1/2]

>>34008645
>I don't know how to prepare
Baby in the first years is easy. You just need to feed it and clothe it and change diapers. They don't take up inordinate amounts of space. At least, not until they start walking. You can absolutely study while holding a baby in a stomach pouch.

Nobody is really prepared for a baby, especially a surprise baby.

The big thing you and SO need to discuss money - is she going back to work? are you going to finish college? Can any of the grand parents pitch in?

Next big thing to discuss are your values - how much are you going to be sticklers about education, food, clothing, vaccination, plastic, media consomption, smart phones, etc.

And one thing no one told me is to learn the words to nursery songs before the child is born. You can't read lyrics in the dark.

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>>34010072
[2]
>>34009576
Get married, ask her father, got it. He and I get along pretty good, it's my god-forsaken family I'll have trouble with (my mom particularly, think Francis and Louis from Malcolm in the middle)
Thanks for the heads up Anon, although I'm from another country so all this squizo stuff about the vaxx is irrelevant if we can't afford them in the first place
>>34009592
Because she cooks she cleans she works she's not insecure and she's deeply into the shit I like. For the record, neither of us planned for this! If it works out (which I hope it does) we'll have a nice family eventually. If not, bye, I'm taking full custody, and she belongs to the streets.

>>34008645
Serious question, do you or her have any parents or uncles or sisters or brothers who are older with children around you? If they're around use them to the fullest. Otherwise idk figure it out bucko congrats I suppose

>>34010193
>>34010350

>The big thing you and SO need to discuss money - is she going back to work? are you going to finish college? Can any of the grand parents pitch in?
This is what I'm mostly worried about. I understand that the traditional role is for the man to provide (and I take pride in being a providing man because my dad didn't give me SHIT as a kid). That being said, I can't expect her to return to work a shitty-ass minimum wage if she expects to raise a family. I already told her: if you don't get a better job, then I'll have to prepare to take full custody of the kid, and then she would be the one paying child support. This is a worst case scenario that I'm hopeful won't happen.

We spoke to her mom earlier, and her family says they will fully support us through hell and heaven. So long as they can help us with money for the kid and rent, THEN I can stop worrying about money for a little bit and THEN I could potentially not drop out of college as intended. As for my side, my family will make it their best interest to stay the hell away from me and call me a dissapointment or whatever the hell (I can call myself whatever I want, but my mom has a special way to turn words into surgical blades, and I'd rather not deal with it again). As for my dad? I mean, he's broke most of the time, and he's a bum so there's not much he can provide.

>>34010384
>We spoke to her mom earlier, and her family says they will fully support us through hell and heaven. So long as they can help us with money for the kid and rent, THEN I can stop worrying about money for a little bit and THEN I could potentially not drop out of college as intended. As for my side, my family will make it their best interest to stay the hell away from me and call me a dissapointment or whatever the hell (I can call myself whatever I want, but my mom has a special way to turn words into surgical blades, and I'd rather not deal with it again). As for my dad? I mean, he's broke most of the time, and he's a bum so there's not much he can provide.
That's good that you have her family around, but if she is tight with her family (it appears you are not...) besides just money you should ask them for help in raising your kids. I mean they raised your wife after all...that's the easiest way to learn all these questions straight from the source instead of asking single incels on the internet. Also you can ask them to babysit sometimes and whatnot.

Try to keep a good relationship with your in-laws though. It also wouldn't hurt to patch things up with your own parents if its possible even if it means swallowing your pride. You need all the help you can get...

>>34010203
>my mom particularly
I have one of those.
Don't sweat it, and take it from me, Nip that shit in the bud NOW. Moms will often try to destroy their sons if they can't control them. You are a Man now. She no longer has a child, and is no longer a PARENT.
If she's religious, knock the wind out of her attacks biblically, even if you are not. One way or another, you let her know She doesn't have any employees, and just like SHE taught you, under your roof, your rules.
Hopefully she's not as bad as mine, but I didn't find out how bad it really was until I came back to take care of them in their old age.
If your Father isn't a worthless henpcked POS,(mine is,) recruit his help too, but seems like from what you posted Her side of the family is going to be your salvation here.

>I'm from another country so all this squizo stuff about the vaxx is irrelevant
Well, I'm in the US, and to be brutally honest, our Food&Drug/Medical/Insurance racket has fucked over more Americans than even they know.
Glad you don't have to worry so much about genital mutilation there, (What country?) and I wasn't referring to the Covid-Jab, but in the US they start shooting up babies with mystery juice on day 1..They start with Hepatitis B the sexually transmitted one. then a total of 72-78 while they are minors.

This video USED to be comedy...But then, so did "Idiocracy"
https://youtu.be/VQPIdZvoV4g
I think you're going to be fine, DAD.

>>34008645
You might be a bit young to be a father in the current gen but it'll be fine. Your main goal for the next 20 years is to make money. Diapers and other baby products are a legal racket. Focus on your education to make more money in a few years. Yes, that means you'll have at least two full-time jobs.
Lean on your still active parents to help as much as possible. Abuse the baby's cute factor if needed.
Don't ditch your new family just because you're afraid. Don't let your kid grow up with a single parent.
Good luck, Anon.

>>34008645
>older woman
>too dumb/stubborn to use condoms or pull out
>knocked her up
>dead end job for teenagers
>started college at an age when most graduated already and have gotten their cushy office jobs
I'm glad people like you exist to make me feel better OP :) While I'm not completely satisfied with how some aspects are going, I could always be you
Shame it's just retards spawning retards, if you're lucky you could randomly get a genius like my retard parents got when they had me.

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>>34010577
>claims to be a genius
>can't even ragebait properly

>>34010607
Sure :)

>>34008645
>Male 24
>Female 28
I see you like older women OP. Nice job on impregnating one.

>>34008645
>How do I prepare? How did you guys prepare? I need some wisdom.

Sure I'm a father myself. I'll give you my honest-to-goodness wisdom: You can't prepare. Nothing will prepare you. And the sooner you accept this and make peace with that, you will be ready.

You ever heard of that tired old phrase 'expect the unexpected"? This applies here at this moment of your life. You are at the frontier of life itself my man, you will not be able to read the future and you cannot anticipate all of the unknowns. This is the part of a man's life where he has to get in the captain's seat of his own soul and steady on. Steady as she goes, mate. You take it a day at a time.

You will not fuck this up. If you have any doubts about your own ability to be a father or you worry about if you even have what it takes to provide a good life for the kid, forget about it. Put those thoughts out of your head. It's all bullshit. You have what it takes, you will provide a good enough upbringing for the kid. It won't be perfect but you will do good enough.

You know how you can know this? You live. Your parents did a good enough job, you didn't die in their care. Their parents did a good enough job, their parents before them, and their parents before them all the way to your ancestors. You have the ability of being a good enough father running in your blood already.

If you ever worry about repeating possible fuck ups your parents may have did, do not worry. Because you just need to listen to yourself. You said:
>while I'm not ready to be a father, I don't want to abandon children of mine and end up paying child support

You know why you said this? Because you give a shit. You actually care, and that worry is the proof itself that you have what it takes.

Take it all a step at a time. Your first step is easy: accept being a father. The next steps get harder and harder I won't bullshit you. But by the time you get to those, you will have developed inner strength to pull it off.

>>34008645
>>34011124
(Continued)

Step 2 is going to be when second trimester hits. First trimester is easy. Your girl (who you need to marry by the way. Start planning. Do not worry about expensive shit. You can have the expensive shit later). Your girl is going to go through a fuck ton on mental and hormonal changes as the pregnancy develops. Don't panic, women go back to their old self 6 months or so after child birth. Do not fall for the meme of feeding her mind altering drugs to try to get her back to 'normal'. Trust the process

Second trimester you will lose sleep. Your girl will be kicking and tossing and turning in sleep non-stop. Every single night. She will get up to use the bathroom every half hour. Your goal is patience and you will need to step up and do a lot of her tasks for her, starting with house chores.

Third step is third trimester. Her emotions are going to go crazy. Not in a bad way, just in an endearing female way. She will cry for nothing and laugh over nothing, silly moments occur. She will physically be as capable as an elderly person. You will need to help her dress help her dry her hair and help her move from room to room if her girdle and pelvic pain is severe.

You will be the leader of the relationship at this point. She will look to you to make big decisions about her health and the health of the baby. Even doctors will look to you for decision making.
(Example, if she is required to have a C-section for whatever reason. The man (you) will have to sign a waiver where you promise not to sue the hospital if your girl or your baby die during the procedure. You will also be the one to decide which one lives and which one dies in the case both are losing consciousness.)

Don't panic. Chances of this are astronomically slim, I only bring it up to hammer the point home: You are supposed to take the role of leader from this point on. Be a good leader. Good leaders serve their family. Shit ones are tyrants and egotistical

>>34008645
>>34011124
>>34011132
(Lastly)

So be a good leader. That means know your limits know your strengths, know you are flawed but know your potential. Give up on perfection, settle for accepting what you have and what you can control, build from that. Those who are drunk with the fantasy of perfection are those who make no actions, they only make thoughts. And all thoughts are worthless unless acted upon.

My last insight and suggestion is reflect on your own life, specifically your own upbringing. This WILL be the blueprint for your fatherhood. It was the blueprint for who and what you are psychologically speaking. For better or for worse.

So, reflect on it and become very familiar with how you were shaped in your own upbringing. Because this is going to be 50% of what shapes your child's future.

And you get to control that, that's the good news. By examining the shape of your own origin, you will be aware of what worked and what didn't. What was harmful to your growth and what was beneficial. Keep the beneficial experiences, and give them to your kid by repeating them. For the bad experiences, learn from them and find the opposite methods that could make them better and then give to your kid the things you didn't get growing up.

Example: your dad promised he would take you fishing but didn't he promised lots of bonding experiences but he never fulfilled them. Solution is you will be the one to do what your own dad didn't.

Maybe your own dad had more flaws than strengths. Or more strengths than flaws. Who knows. But make use of every single example.

Do that, and you have nothing to worry about. Congratulations on the baby man. Being a father is terrifying but exciting, eventually it will fizzle out and become your new normal and it won't feel as crazy. You will be fine.

>>34008645
>>34011124
>>34011132
>>34011140

(Lastly lastly)

I forgot to mention the simple yet obvious:

The most you can ever spend on your child is time & care. Your girl will provide the nurturing and affections. You provide the guidance and the support. You dispense wisdom and experience to the kids she dispenses love and comfort to the kids.

That's your only job. There are families with little money but extremely rich childhoods, and families from great wealth but abhorrent childhoods. There's poor people with shit upbringings. Rich people with good parents. What it all depends on is whether or not the parents gave time and love and guidance to their kids. That's all you gotta worry about providing.

Good luck

>>34008645
>>I don't want children right now
There WERE things you could have done about that, you know