You will never be a woman.

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>>34017419

>>34017421
Calm ur tits and stop projecting.

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>>34017421
I’m male u fat retard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIp1cN-yI50

>>34017425
This dudes shit is hilarious

I just left an event and Spotify starts playing sad ass fucking songs that made me think of my ex
The pain is so so deep no matter how hard I try to run from it
Also I feel nauseous as fuck I’ve been having major stomach issues lately :(

>>34018219
I also just pulled up home and I don’t wanna go inside my family just makes me so sad and empty
No real friends either

you know that hobby you're getting yourself into right? the one you're borrowing from me? you know i have elite hidden knowledge about this hobby? that this hobby was passed down to me from people who have decades of experience prior to me? i hold the keys to experience this hobby that is completely unavailable to most others. definitely not your shithead, deadbeat, fucking pathetic boyfriend. fuck you, fuck you, i hope every time you interact with my hobby it stings because i dropped you. fuck you, miserable pathetic bitch.

>>34018600
anyways you have given color to my life that was previously hidden to me, you made me realize that there actually is someone that i could fall in love with. im glad i at least got to know you exist, because now i know that God actually has made someone for me. since i will always love you, it's okay if you dont love me back. i can die happy knowing that there is a woman that i love.

I'm trying to help, but I guess you'd rather keep yourself miserable.

Saving up for a chastity cage.

>>34018610
What do you mean? Elaborate.

>>34018610
>>34018631
To expand, relative is in a bad mood tonight it just feels like I should just stop giving a shit, and just say a bunch of hateful things and shit and just not give a fuck what happens if they're just gonna reject help tonight,

I'm highly autisic and I'd rather not delve much into irl stuff,

>>34018640
I just feel like I should either go fuck off and rot somewhere, or just be a complete asshole to everyone I know, like using nothing but slurs, be incredly pissy in public places and push people out of the way, treat sales clerks like shit, throw stuff at people, and general just be a scumbag and say "sucks to be you, get fucked" to my relative when ever they're in a bad mood, or deliberatley make things worse instead and then say fuck you

>>34018640
I'd say talk to him another time about it, he might be going through some stuff.

>>34018655
Be you, not who you think you should be.

>>34018657
I just don't want to be an asshole who might as well be beating people or mocking them when they're going through stuff.

I feel like if I can't help or being nice is gonna give me grief, I should just be the biggest scumbag imaginable and act like an abusvie spouse, and just hope for the worst for them

"Not having a good day? Suckks to be you loser, lmao"

>>34018670
Do you have more than two blankets?

>>34018698
Yes, they also put a 2nd good-sized heater in their room, that one doesn't shut off on its own but it's better than nothing.

>>34018608
>>34018600
Nah take your empty words and throw them in the trash.

>>34018704
Do you have money? No, right? If you can. Maybe get some of these.

https://offer.toastyheater.com/wall/en/us/v4/checkout?bar=n&aff=191&uid=161&oid=38&affid=191&sub2=c10f5606ef4

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>>34017419
I'm in love with my intern. I'm also kind of on love with this chick from work I fucked a couple years ago, we still sext and send nudes to eachother all the time. I have a fiance that just recently told me she doesn't want to have kids anymore. My life is fucked. Intern has a girlfriend, ex work fling moved across the country.

I can't fucking sleep right lately. I don't know why. I'm barely drinking a cup or two cups of coffee (8oz) per day. It's driving me nuts. I'm also insanely bored and unmotivated. I don't know what I'm doing anymore with my life.

A narc has the same tactic that catches the same victim
They lovebomb their target and flood them with intimacy and affection while draining all their time. They hype up and make endless promises to their victim to try and keep them under control for as long as possible.
The victim is usually someone that's lonely and seeks validation from others. They're people pleasing behavior is what makes it so easy for the narc to endlessly use them.

>>34017419
My pug died earlier this year and I miss him terribly

>>34019272
RIP little pug
I'm sorry for your loss

>>34018711
Maybe stop cheating. It's karmic debt, retribution. Maybe she's afraid because of how shit the economy is and afraid of what it'll do to her body. I knew a girl like that and she's had 2 kids already.

>>34019272
Sorry about that, M.

>>34018708
They're in a better mood now, won't go into specifics but things are better now

>>34021740
That's awesome, I hope that for you all the time.

I am the only one here. All the secret agent men are a bunch of pussies and cannot even keep up with one guy. One more reason not to fear the faggot cabal. They have zero discipline and mommy and daddy are all dead now.

One year of dating still no boyfriend
I spent two months talking to a guy who we did fuck and it was ok but he didn't like me really. I spent three months talking to a guy who he ghosted me before ever visiting due to his issues. The rest was spent trying. Although it sucks this year was a failure, I am grateful for the time I spent with those people, the lessons I learned about what I need in a relationship/partner. I am positive about the future, last time was better than the first so I know the next time will be even better with all I know now about what I need and following it. I will strive to succeed and will never give up!

it's over.

I feel weirdly good this morning.

Get It Off Your Cock

>>34017425
Dadbod in dorkmode*

*sleeve tattoo included

A dirty junkie with rotten teeth spit directly in my face today at point blank range. Am I fucked? Am I going to catch something permanent?

>>34023096
Wow. You're probably fine though. Sorry. Jeez.

>>34023149
The worst part is my girlfriend has severe OCD that is centered around fear of germs. She witnessed the entire thing.

I hate being black.

I don't want to work anymore but I have to help with bills. There's barely nice kind people, the rest are toxic and talk shit because they're bored with their lives. Ffs you people grow the fuck up.

>>34023199
Embrace the jazz cat in you.

It was you. All along it was you.

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>>34023199
Why?
I am genuinely curious.

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I know this hick is using me as rebound for his ex and he'll throw me away the moment they get back together but I genuinely love him

>>34023382
Everything about my culture these days is always seen in a negative light. I hate being associated with the bad apples despite being vastly different from them.

I genuinely believe what a woman doesn't know, won't hurt her and I'm never being completely honest with any women I'm involved with ever again

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What part of my dating profile keeps attracting trannies and fags?! Is it the "conservative" tag? The "catholic" tag? Maybe the "wants to be a father" response? In a world of nearly 50% (closer to 30% because dating apps), I keep drawing the 0.5% who haven't 47%ed yet!

>>34023423
lies

>>34023159
A homeless woman swung a towel at my and my ex once, and we were so grossed out. Not as bad though.

Studying is ruining my life, and killing myself seems the only option to stop suffering

>>34023331
Close but not quite the words.

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Us

>>34023484
It's the conservative tag and that you don't swipe on your ugly conservative pickme's.

>>34017419
I think I fell in love with a slow girl. She really likes me and said I make her so happy LMFAO.

>>34023502
What can you do. More and more common as time goes on.

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>>34023417
Anon, if there is one thing I have learned in life it's that you can only very rarely change anyone's mind about anything. If they don't like YOU because of some OTHER dickhead's retarded actions, there was never much you could do about that anyway. Worry about your own behavior and aspire toward true strength, what others think and do is their problem.

>>34023552
I wish there were more conservative pickmes in my area. Instead, I live in Minneapolis because of work and I'm up to my neck in tatted, drugged, liberal whores working on their umpteenth abortion. The few conservatives I come across are the poser yee-haw, CHRIST IS KING!!!1! variety who want a plot of land in bumfuck nowhere for a hobby farm because they can keep 3 potted plants alive.

>>34023578
Thanks Anon :))
You're right.

>>34023563
Actually, it seems like there are much less homeless outside where I am, very recently. Could just be winter migration patterns.

>>34023578
Karma, faith and such helps

Tips for surviving the upcoming South Korean Striver Hellworld:
>Every single natural urge you have will be used against you. You must become sexless and intert
>Even friendships are merely just high-level strivers leading you into danger to fuck you over
>all the world is your enemy

My ex caused me a lot of trauma and I’m still trying to feel confident in myself again. I get a lot of random intrusive thoughts about past things we’ve argued over, or things he’d criticized me on, stuff like that, that pop up here and there in real life. I’m also still trying to let go of the guilt of being attracted to new guys while he’s fucked new girls but I was the dumper. How can I completely heal from this?

>>34024134
> unequally yoked
why?

I can thrive alone

>>34024203
Therapy. Talking to someone about your issues that isn't a clanker or faceless anon online.

Test

>>34024203
The guilt is real. I know what that is like

I hate holidays. I've been really depressed since a few weeks before Thanksgiving and the past week, I've had more suicidal thoughts than I have in years. I hate my life during the best of times, but holiday time just makes it worse. It kind of just makes me feel ill to see people with their family, loved ones, significant others, etc now because that's all I've ever wanted and it's what I've never had. I have crush on one of the employees at my local grocery store, and I dread seeing them when I go because I love seeing them, but it makes me feel like shit every time I do.

I don't know where to post this and I don't wanna make a thread for this so it's going here
I haven't been able to take a proper shit for almost 2 weeks now. I've literally never had any trouble going to the bathroom but about two weeks ago I went to a friend's bbq and ate a lot of meat. Like, a lot. Since then I haven't been able to take a shit and my belly is swollen up (I look like I'm fucking pregnant) and I always feel full even tho I'm barely eating anything
I thought this thing would eventually fix itself since I've never had any issues like this but I'm starting to get really worried

>>34024832
I'm gonna try laxatives tomorrow, if those don't work I'm gonna do it
I just really hate going to the doctor

>>34024854
Kek you're probably right, that's what I get for my stubbornness

>>34017419
>find out the wagie job that fired me is gonna most likely close doors
>the management love to blame the employees for sales not meeting to standards despite the real reason being the recession and tariffs affecting the goods sold there
>hear from some people who still work there that waves of people have been jumping ship due to frustration with management and favoritism/nepotism
>every department is a clique and behaves like a highschool altogether along with overworking people
>last i remember, newer employees were being brought in with the highest wage payment while people who worked longer earned lowest to second lowest
>the only department out of 14 that has been exceeding expectations is the food department
>out of sheer jealousy, they are forcing the food employees to do work in departments that have nothing to do with them, essentially sabotaging their sales
>the bonus they were bragging about was stripped away because of this

Feels good in a fucked up sense. I feel bad for the people I still talk to that work there, but all in all, fuck that job. It was completely shitty and the pay wasn't worth being there anymore.

Nigga u been gay

>>34017419
it's absolutely fucking wild to me how the hivemind of women suddenly drove them to be homewreckers, cheaters, and prefer deadbeats over actual men and then proceed to complain about men because the men they chase aren't actually men, just deadbeats.

It's like they'd sooner pick some 60 year old multi millionaire pedophile, or some dude with no teeth that has a little bit of money because he sold dope to kids just because he knows how to play a few songs on a guitar at best.

Yet for some reason a normal guy is just too 'boring' for them, yet when they complain about men they constantly cry out:
>"WHERE'S THE NORMAL, BORING MEN AT?!"
Well, we're here, you just avoided us because your pussy commanded you to do otherwise instead of listening to any semblance of reason left in your brain-rotted minds.

Inb4
>WHO RADICALIZED YOU, INCEL?!
Women and their poor choices in life did, hence majority of them have herpes and they normalize by saying "Bro, it's just a cold sore."

Rednote keeps giving me Asian gf x white bf and as a whiteish(Italian) girl with a Brit fetish I feel cucked. I hate being blonde and blue eyed I should have been born as an Asian. Every online guy I have ever met prefers Asians may they be Japanese prostitutes or lolicon drawings. >>34024184
This is just the west rn. No friends just loneliness.

>>34024822
Black Coffee.
Thank me later.

>>34024495
I don’t feel like therapists understand the depth and complexity tho

I realized that I already had my twink death and it feels so weird. Sucks because I feel like I didn't got the most of out of my younger look, but welp

>>34025495
How tall are you?

>>34025499
Idk, I'm not super short but I'm not tall either. Like 173cm probably

>>34025509
You wouldn't be considered a twink? You're still tall

i want to know what he meant by acting upset/disapproving when i mused to him what we are and i had said "friends with benefits"

>>34025515
Uh? I think you don't know exactly what a twink is. Even taller people in pop culture have been called twinks.

>>34025491
>I don’t feel like therapists understand the depth and complexity tho
It sounds to me like you are scared to talk about things you might be called out on even though you feel you have been wronged. Maybe you were or not. You should still do it and tell them everything.

>>34025495
U can always pretend to be young by just still looking hot and having red glowing skin lol

>>34025491
If you want anonymity and to just get things off your chest, you can go to a confessional at a church you don't normally go to. He might not have advice and just hit you with Bible teachings, but he does it for free and won't try to prescribe you with SSRIs

>>34024240
this meme after months of plapjak killed the femoids on here into depression

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when you said that you lost your muse, who/what was your muse?

>>34026545
That sounds like something I said before.

I ruminate so much less when I'm not drunk and fight a lot less too. I think I will be sober more this year

Did a deep comprehensive review of my college notes, so now it is time for me to rework the notes in my notebook, rework two tests, and do some problems from two homework sheets.

I want him back so bad. Even as "just a friend" he's been ignoring me a shit ton. It makes me so sad and I'm so lonely that I had a strange dream about meeting him last night but, in the dream, he paid someone to meet me instead because he didn't want to see me

>>34027169
>he paid someone to meet me instead because he didn't want to see me
And then you fall in love with the stand-in and forget all about the other guy.

>>34017419
Molly, how come we never played music together?
I know it doesn't exactly matter now, but it crept into my mind last night, with how much we both loved music, how you could actually play the instruments the idea of jamming out with you on the bass and me doing some shitty vocals in the garage sounds like so much fun.

I don't even feel it any more. Maybe my brain is protecting me, maybe time rwalky does heals all wounds, maybe this is what I actually needed but was too chicken to get for myself. There were good times but they were all tinged by bad. You had redeeming qualities as a person but mostly you were a massive pain in the ass. Maybe deep down I wanted it to end but just couldn't bring myself to do it...

>>34027484
This is how I feel about him sometimes, deep down I still care about him

>>34025491
I think you're extremely retarded irl if you really believe that professional licensed therapists aren't going to understand the "depth and complexity" of your relationship, and if you keep this mindset then I think you don't truly want to help yourself.

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biggest friction in my life has been caused by being sexual with my mother in my teens. We were an inch away from explicit sex on several occasions but some higher power just didn't allow us to make the final move no matter how close I got. Ever since we stopped I've been consistently consumed on and off by the memories and what-if fantasies. It might as well be one of the main factors why I'm struggling at university so much.

Between this and potential crippling regret of actually fucking her, I think I'd rather pick the latter. Getting it out of my system finally and clearing the fog of war sounds way more liberating even if I end up paying the price of being disgusted with myself for the rest of my life, instead of just spending the rest of my life rotting and daydreaming about it. It's selfish and risky but I feel like I'm gonna lose myself otherwise. Anyway, I also don't see why she should be warranted to get to walk away freely from it all without anything coming back to bite her in the ass, pun intended. Damage has been done.

>inb4 just get therapy man
I'm not confessing this shit eye-to-eye to a single soul, thanks anyway

Need a British twink to fuck my tight virgin Canadian pussy. On my wedding night of course. Then I can die happy as the ugly filthy A that I am.

I miss you so much. You were so cool to talk to! I love so many aspects of you. It’s so cool how you bounced around so many countries, how you’re back home, how you’re confused if it even is home, all your hobbies and how good you are at them, and I think your art style is so beautiful. I really miss talking to you a lot, I think about you every single day almost every single hour and I also dream about you. You know, if you reach out to me, I won’t mind. Please, reach out to me. I love you.

>>34028951
Just message and call her

>>34029095
No, she has a boyfriend and I cant bear to sit with that fact, whenever we call I just imagine running my fingers through her hair and I get lost in her voice. I fucked up and hesitated, and she moved on. So I told her I will stop talking to her forever. If she truly loved me as much as I did her she'd have dumped that guy the moment I told her I loved her.

Time passes on
The opportunities are gone
Only thing left are memories

if fate exists, why do i deserve to go through this immense amount of torturous pain? i know, i made a mistake. i acted on vanity. but i didn't even do anything permanent, i wanted to give her a chance, i wanted to ease into a relationship with her, and now that she's gone i have to sit here knowing that i lost the most unique and incredible person i've ever met in my entire life?

i made a mistake, and now i'm realizing i never learned from these mistakes. so many girls in my life i have initially liked but acted on vanity and i just left them without giving them any closure. i've broken the hearts of at least four girls this way, in highschool, over the internet, and now in-person. i'm almost 30 now and i just now realized that i shouldnt be treating women this way, and i'm having difficulties coming to terms with the fact that i am now a washed up chopped loser thats not only lost all of his chances with any women, but i lost my chance at THE woman. i can't even call myself an incel because i've had plenty of shots but i didn't take them because they weren't physically attractive to me. i wish i didn't do this to her, i wish i wised up sooner, i'm so fucking mad at myself and im mad that i let misery enter this world through a vessel that's not even fucking worth being upset over. i hate myself to the very core and i want to transform myself to being a good person for good people

>>34029200
What was the mistake you made?

>>34027139
Noice. I have to study before bed too.

>>34029200
what the fuck are you talking about? genuinely curious. bc you make it sound like you’re more remorseful about someone you didn’t give a chance to than someone you actually dated?

>>34029213
the same mistake i've made with all of the other women, i lost interest in her, she still had interest in me, i kept talking to her but dialed down the affection and rejected her advances without explicitly saying anything. pretty much the wimpy pathetic way out of actually being communicative.

>>34029224
yeah, i'm remorseful about the last person i didnt give a chance to. i rejected her initially because of how she looked, and now i regret doing that because i miss her so much.

>>34029167
Wahhhh

>>34029235
She might take you back if you apologize to her

>>34029240
i apologized to her but i don't think she wants me back. she has a boyfriend and seems very excited to be with him, so i didnt want to ask her to be my boyfriend, mainly because hes local to her and i live in a different country. i dont remember our last call very well so i dont even remember how she felt about me leaving her for the last time

if i ask her to be mine, and she actually says yes, and i drop everything to move to be with her, i know i will marry that woman. i will marry her.

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I'm terrified of my gf cheating on me. I'm constantly consumed by thoughts of her fucking around when we're apart. She has given me no indication whatsoever, I just can't help the paranoia. She tells me that she would never do such a thing, and I believe her, but the thoughts remain. I'm always looking for signs, trying to support my unfounded narrative, and come up with nothing, but my rational brain cannot overcome the automatic thoughts.

>>34017419
I love pugs

>cute girl at work
>randomly get her number on some “yeah I’ll let you know about that thing”
>could see she was reaching for her phone
>handed her mine at same time
>get her number
>text her last night just hey it’s anon
>she replied
>asked her how the rest of her shift went
>never replied

Welp. I want to text her now but gonna seem desperate as fuck some 24 hours later since she never responded. Probably best I just go to bed.

My mother is broke and so depressed she doesn't want to do anything anymore except wallow in self pity or run away from all responsibilities. She even told me she's not sure she loves me anymore. My dad is in an unhappy marriage and is barely coping, and has to cope with my tranny half sister to boot. All my sisters are crazy birth control fueled nutjobs who constantly lie, cheat and fight over menial stuff.

If I leave I feel like my mother will just kill herself or sell the house I was born in. I want to give up so bad but I know deeply I can't, but every day is harder than the last. I feel angry and explode over the smallest things, and have thought about killing myself every day for the last 15 years. I want to be happy one day.

>>34029466
maybe she was sleepy or had chores. unlike you and me, many people don't have a problem sleeping. a good 7 or 8 hours of GOOD sleep really only happena like once a week for me. sometimes I have mint tea to help

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I started a yt channel for fun (but not really) and I got my first strike today for some 10 seconds of ingame footage, tried disputing it and got fucked after two days, the video got shitcanned

Feels awful, but Im not sure why, its not like I wasn't aware of any of this, and I certainly dont think it merits me giving it that much importance, but it still made me go back to thinking nothing is worth doing and im 33 without a major or experience in a "real" job, cant talk about it with friends or family since I want to do everything by myself and own my mistakes, and I don't want them to give me the cold shoulder again for trying something that isn't wageslaving, but I got so many bad experiences from trying it that I really don't want to go job hunting again, fuck my life

Oh my fucking God I'm a drug addict!

>>34029530
I guess.
I’ll text her tmrw night but again just seems desperate on my end.

My grandmother found my chinese textbook and asked me if I was learning it and I pretended I didnt' know about it and I am annoyed that they were snooping through my belongings ughh

>>34029130
>>34029167
Underhanded Weasley attempts to influence. You really are pathetic and I can see why no one respects you

>>34029500
take some time to disconnect and try to do some productive stuff to make yourself start feeling better about yourself. you need to be kind to yourself

I never even thought about boning her but now it is all I can do.

Fight!

Nobody goes cruising anymore. You pick a place on one side of town and the other and drive back and forth until you see someone you want to talk to and then you park.

I want to be with her so bad it's unreal. But there's no chemistry. It never began.

I don't think anyone can love me

I think I give up on romance and will just be introspective and get AI relationships when they get better.

Maybe in the future I can modify my body to have different emotions.

I suddenly feel like a major stressor in my life has disappeared and nothing matters. This is nice.

So this is life. Amen.

Narcissists always win, so fuck it, gonna start going full asshole mode. There's no good or bad, only weak or strong, and I'm not going to be homeless again.

I just watched a fetishist video and I was a bit emotional prior, imagining sex with my ex. Then I imagined, for a split second, my ex doing the thing in the video, and I felt panic. I paused the video and tried to get the thought out of my head but I knew it was over. I don't know how to go back. What do I do?
I tried rewatching the video and just letting the feeling be there, and feel it through, to let it go but it remains. I'm still not how I was prior. I've changed. Will it go away with time?

>>34023578
Peru wins but how did such specific regions get so many finalists? Almost every SA and ASEAN country

I'm starting to like my waifu more than real girls

More like seeking for an advice.

I broke with my first real gf, in May.
Before you ask why I say 'real gf', well it is bcuz she was the first one for me who I really loved, look-appearance, personality, and same vibes, hobbies.
We were together 2,5 years.
She was the first one, where I felt that even If I look at an attractive woman, I admire their attractiveness, but I would NEVER imagine myself next to them. Only with her.
We broke up over an argument, and yes, I fucked up too, I was not that polite that I should have been there.
7 months went around and I feel still the same. Im searching her in every woman, her looks and her mindset, even though we all know that no people is same, we are all different somehow. I talked with several women after this 7 month, and I feel like I would rather kill myself than being with these women, The fear that I will typically be the father who never married the woman he truly loved, never had children with the woman he admired, but simply married a woman to start a family "because it's time, I can't waste any more time."

I unironically feel that I have lost my other half, the only person who understood me, whom I loved, and with whom I would have stayed for the rest of my life. Literally, there is no other woman with whom I have ever felt this way, except for her. If things don't get better, I might kill myself, I don't know, but I would like to leave this as a last resort.
I am very reluctant to meet new people, I don't want new memories, I just want to live with the old ones.
I don't hate women, I have nothing against them, I just feel that after all this, I don't have the strength for them anymore, no one could live up to the standard they set.

What would you do in my place?

>>34031828
I would give it time and try to change my life to fill up the space they left. I think you should hold out for love and if you really want children you can try and find the woman with the best genetics possible to birth them in a worst case scenario. Romantic love isn't everything. Probably less than 10% of people ever find lasting love til death, and many of those met when they were a bit older.

>>34031842
Thank you anon. My parents are married for atleast 25 years, which is a lot compared that how easily people divorce for random reasons. They married for love. I thought I found the same woman for this. Its feels like she chained me to her forever, even though I never saw her since May.

>Probably less than 10% of people ever find lasting love til death, and many of those met when they were a bit older.

I thought I will be an exception.

>>34031854
Your parents environment growing up is probably very different to your own.

>>34031858
Maybe. We never cheated on each other, we had arguments, but never to the extent that one would rather walk away than stay.
She was really into me, her last word were love you, and she said the same thing to my friends behind my back, thinking it would never come out. she didn't hate me, she didn't tell me to go to hell. I dont even have any point where I could atleast start to hate her.
What I don't understand is why I'm still hung up on this, when I think 80% of men would have gotten over it long ago. 2.5 years isn't that long at all.

>>34031871
You're better off seeing the bad than the good until you can achieve a balanced view. Most men don't digest a break up until after it happens, and it often takes them long to fully move past it. If she broke up with you she was probably processing the break up for months or even years ahead of time (women break up more often), and heterosexual women have an easier time finding partners than men til about their mid-thirties when the male population becomes smaller than the female population (because men die more at every age but more men are born than women). Sorry to rant. You can feel free to talk about why you think she broke up with you if you want. That also might help, rather than reflecting on how things can be repaired. Often it is better to start over after this much drama even if reconciliation is possible.

>>34031878
That's understandable. Yes, he has a new girlfriend. You can call me a envy bitch, but he's not taller than me, he doesn't look better than me, but no matter what he looks like, he's still with her, and I'm not. The only thing I can't wrap my head around is that they've been together for maybe two or three months, and she doesn't even mention himin his bio, only in his stories. When I was with her, she got my initials, the date we became a couple, and our profile picture was of us, and it was like that on almost every social media platform. This followed the same 3-month period.

Our last argument was about herparents. Her parents are real abusers in almost every way, yet he respects them very much. His parents work for the police, and I said something disrespectful, which was, "You have to hold your father's hand when he comes to my city because, unfortunately, this place is so shitty." He asked me several times to take it back, but I didn't.

The ironic thing is that before that, I had received love letters from her and sweets that he knew I liked, and a few days earlier we had planned to sleep over at each other's houses during the summer. There was literally no indication that anything was wrong, nothing was visible, not even to her girlfriends. Nothing. like a 180-degree turn

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I've never had a single friend in my entire life and I fully intend to keep it that way for the rest of my life. There are no friends in this world. All relationships form the way that they do based on power dynamics. All relationships are purely transactional. Anyone who you think is your friend will turn on you in a heartbeat once you are no longer of use to them. Love doesn't exist and never has.

There is no such thing as good people. All human beings are profoundly rotten to the core.

The sooner you learn this, the better.

>>34031923
I'm very confused about everyone's gender involved because you keep switching them all. Anyway, I think they were likely thinking about it for a long time before finding another partner as an emotional rebound, and they may or may not stay with this person long term. BUT. What is important is realizing you probably won't like them if you see them in 10 years and what you are going to do with YOUR life in the meantime.

>>34031934
>Transactional
True but people can find themselves in situations where everyone benefits each other, and people are in things together. This is a tribal relationship.

Damn son, karma is a bitch

>>34031956
Sorry for that.
It's getting very late here, but the thought bothers me. I find it difficult to sleep.

To be honest, after everything that's been said, there's one thing I'm still afraid of, and that is that she'll come back.
I asked her to, — because she didn't want to block me everywhere at first. — I just noticed that I'm only unblocked on Facebook Messenger, but I don't understand why. I'm not going to write to her. Even if she did come back, it would break my already fragile mind, but I wouldnt take her back, not even for the sake of my ego. She probably won't come back, but since I was her longest relationship, I would guess that she could return back anytime if she broke up with her current partner. Bit illogical, but I cant predict her movements.

>>34032007
You're ruminating. Let it go. Or suffer and creep her out ruining her opinion of you.

bitch didn't even click on my profile. does she think I'm dumb?

Damn it I did it again. I should have asked for her number.

>>34031972
Karma for what? Inb4 you completely avoid answering then continue to vague post about the only corrupted lie version of a story that will give you sympathy. This is why you have to say this here and noone else will talk to you about it.

You see a beautiful world that you corrupt and cry because you will never be part of what makes it great. So you "punish" the "evil doers" and keep making everything worse. You will never have what makes them happy and that is what will forever hurt you.

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I thought this year I could see big changes in myself towards being more mature and being serious to have the lofe I wanted, but instead I procastinated a lot, blew an instagram chat with a good girl, and I bought computer parts to build a pc, which I'll probably use to waste even more time.
I feel like shit.

>>34032246
life*

I'm looking forward to having a little less stress so I can properly assess my mental and emotional state.

I thought I was doing much better the last couple days and then I just now started crying over the loss of a squirrel lighter.

I can't get past it. I keep trying and nothing works. Not time, not medication, not therapy.
Nothing helps me get past what she did to me. Who rapes their own sibling? And then the morning after smiles at them over breakfast like nothing happened?
Not even distance helps me get away from it.
Everywhere i go it follows me. Even in dreams she's there.
At uni and thought i was safe and making friends and finally putting it behind me and then a coursemate, who seemed so NICE, rapes me as well.
And then when i finally break and tell my parents what my sister did, they call me a liar.
I don't think i have anything left in me.
I think this world won.

>>34032193
Pftt, hope the job search goes well

>>34032197
How do they corrupt it?

reminding myself he would have left eventually so it's fine ending how it did

>>34032197
I have done nothing to corrupt it. you are just upset people arent validating your ego trip. I'm loved by everyone besides you. You are the one making any thing worse. Never is a story you tell yourself. Its not that deep but lord knows you wish it was.

I hope you are seeing the messages I am sending.

>>34032547
I don't ever want to talk to you again, please fuck off and go to hell.

>>34032576
Give me your initial and I'll do it.

>>34032582
first letter of the alphabet

>>34032590
Different writing style, not the inital.

>>34032624
what is your initial?

I kinda wanna get obsessive over someone again but to the point where I go nuts without them and start stalking their social media and they have to tell me to stop but I don't wanna. Unfortunately the only "favorite person" was fucking gay so I'm still recovering from that emotional nuke. I personally don't trust myself to date anyone but I want to be loved.

>>34032654
Is he gay or is that what you tell yourself?

>>34032678
Unfortunately I found out he was gay because he told me about his boyfriend. He knew I had a crush on him and everything.

>>34032687
That's very gay. Sorry to hear that.

>>34032692
I lost contact in spring. At best he changed his number. I tried texting him about some personal news and it didn't send

And just like that the snake is looking for another prey

>>34032755
That's how you feel?

>>34032632
What do you think it is?

>>34032759
They're losers

>>34032772
there's no way it's the letter I want it to be, so there's no point guessing

>>34032793
The people you want to fuck off? They deserve it girl live your best life

My drunk ass is about to text her a random question. She won’t respond. And I’ll be forced to awkwardly see her tmrw. Why do I do it to myself.

Evens - Go for it
Odds - Wait

I was told by my neurologist today that I am showing signs of early on-set dementia. I'm only 30 years old.
Nobody in my family picked up the phone when I needed to talk.
The only person who was willing to spend time with me today was my ex. We went to dinner and a movie, she kept me distracted with laughter about the job we used to work together. It made me miss her.
I'm scared.

>>34033073
You will be healed. Do not doubt.

Cat got hit by a car. Wanted to bury him because it feels fucked up just letting his body sit on the road, but it's nightime.

I always complain about being married, but I just got done groping, squeezing, massaging, and then fucking my wife's giant tits... So, life can't always be bad.

>>34033209
I feel kind of fucked up about it. There's nothing I can do but bury it, but it's not every day you see your cat with it's eye out on the ground.

>>34033222
How giant we talking?

>>34033209
Is it a stray or yours?
I'm so sorry for your loss.

>>34033227
sorry to hear about your cat anon, that does sound disturbing. rip to the lil guy

>>34033239
It's mine. Can't really describe how I feel. It's weird.
>>34033243
Thanks.

Moved the cat off of the road at least. It wasn't that bad despite my vulgar detail. There was a small blood trail so he must have died rather quickly. I've seen worse things, and again, these things happen, it's not that big a deal, but it obviously puts things in perspective when you witness that. I feel almost besides myself. I feel almost a tunnel vision sort of feel.

>>34033336
I’m sorry, it’s traumatic, don’t downplay it. But you’re handling it well. Get some rest, anon.

I love you Adrijus. I am sorry for being an autistic freak and failing you. Please kill me one day. We were supposed to die together but you can always stab me poison me hang me behead me or push me off a cliff.
Anaira

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>>34032503
Is this easy mode?

>>34032503
You've always been like this.

>>34033386
Will do. These kinds of events do help people to be attentive to important matters, and for me a bit grateful. It makes one a bit more serious, so glory to God for this.

>>34032419
Youre not calling me wrong. Hmm

>>34033514
Who is "you"

>>34033505
Easy mode is only accepting your narrative and never hearing out other people

>>34032197
What happened
>>34032503
what happened
>>34033514
wtf even happened
All of you state your case or take your meds

I just can't believe the Internet is done. At least for now.
In one hand only surface level tech savvy people can get to the right places, so it's like gatekeeping the normies again.
You can find a lot of shit you couldn't
.
On the other, this place is over, The bombarding of horrid people of the worst kinds, bots and discorders made it plain unusable.
I can't find or download anything without wasting time digging and using "magic words" on search engines.
Youtube has it's grubby hands on content but it's all shit recomendations and it's fucking itself up more and more, so alternatives will actually be able to compete, even if for free. Yet we all know this lasts unti they monetize.
Everyone I see is hooked on the crap and you can't talk to them about anything productive. Because productives and skilled "want to chill".
You need to log in and make an account everywhere. Age restrictions that need an account but you just press a button. A thousand mails and passwords and "allow me to know your place, phone, google"
dig for hours to get anything good (I can't even tug one out in less that 2 hours if I have a screen)
Terrible informative content, AI slop, fake shit. You just HAVE TO listen to an audio book or a Uni Professor if you don't have a surviving channel of the subject you ALREADY know and they always sell out to the algorithm
All the retards and doomsrollers and bait eaters yapping and ruining suggestions
And everyone is here. So now it's hard to even get a normal person that shares a hobbie irl.
God. I didn't know how good I had it when the normies just danced, played sports, pool and the most mainstream games. Facebook crap was it. Serious cases were into some videchat blog garbage idfk what they did, this is as close to social media I've gotten. And it was weird att, too. Now I'm fucking Bigfoot. And I watch everyone pollute the lake we all drink from. And other hairy cunts just like me just mix into the masses to belong. Wtf are we all doing?

>>34033514
>You've always been like this.
Gaslighting 101.

>>34033552
This guy
>>34033556

>>34033598
>gaslighting me into thinking im a gaslighter
Yeah very subtle

>>34033556
Easy mode is never letting them be part of the conversation at all. Enjoy your highchair and bottle feeding.

>>34033609
How did I not let you be a part of the conversation

>>34033615
Wow

>>34033607
>>34033609
You sound like a massive pussy holy shit just say what your problem is or call this person

>>34033620
>every anon is the same person
Nice ad hom faggot

>>34033618
So you have no argument and no case?
Cool more projections

>>34033624
Notice how you immeadietly put yourself in a position of power when you say no case like youre some judge who is the one who gets to decide things and other people arent allowed to be on the same platform you shout from

>>34033630
You literally have more publicity than 99% of any of us. Shut the fuck up with this bullshit narrative. You know how to contact me, do it.

>>34033633
You can say that as much as you like but you still know its not true. Even if I did contact you you wouldn't respond or would just lie to me.

>>34033638
I will respond. you have been full of excuses since I met you. Go write another love song about me, you will never be that bold.

Aw sweet, a schizo battle

>>34033647
Lol I have no idea who you are. My brain is rotting so you where on my bucket list for being mean to someone for no reason. Thanks anon

>>34033647
Id be down to be more of a dick to you though if youre up for it.

>>34033651
The ultimate backpedal. Next time I see you im drawing blood

>>34033652
you would need to know me or it wont hit right

>>34033587
Oh! and I want to use my free time to watch some shit I used to like and everything that was ever recommended to me is fucking gatbage for kids, poorly made or "adulting" tier.
I sift through lists of books, animation, films and is slop slop SLOP SLOP
So I waste my time like I do here trying to get a fucking morsel of anything worth a fuck, and end up getting carried away and not doing anything good because I see ten minutes of 10 different things, try to read 10 different first chapters, watch 20 miinutes of oh so great movies AND IT'S AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTT, so no free time left babyyyyy
and I go "fuck, I'll watch one of my faves" and the good ones I know from memory so there's no poin, and the slop I ate up when younger just just just fuckking JUMPS! jumps into my open eyeball and reminds me how I used to cope seeing that kind of shit to avoid my shit life. And how I'd find anything of value all AND IT JUST GOT WORST OUT THERE
And now I have to become that snobbish cunt that gets together with others snobbish cunts BUT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT THEY SAY
So my friends are blue collar dudes that I can work all day with quitly, but then if you want to build a community to do better shit you need to yap with people and just like with snobs it's fucking torture. Just stfu lady you CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD. yOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT ALL YOUR LIFE. JUST STFU
And I want friends and kids but they can't bring anything new to me. So I shut up and listen and help and support...but heheheeeee they NEED me to talk unless I don't like them or something hehehehehheeeeeeeeeee
I HAVE to. HAVE to fucking share nothings, fake surprise to their babble, stop what I'm doing when I'm busy, start carry and finish every conversation so it's not toddler tier
and it fucking hunts me COS I DO IT RIGHT. SO I EITHER CHAT AND SUFFER OR TAKE THE WHEEL AND THEY WANT ME TO CHAT MORE
"You carve wood? OMG don't show. tell me about it! I'll talk about my facebook witchcrafts!"

>>34033653
You are retarded. If youre not full of shit post your first name.

>>34033652
>>34033647
>>34033638
>>34033633
>>34033630
What's going on here? (Tarantino voice)

>>34033659
I think ive been doing fine personally.

>>34033662
If youre a real hard ass post the last four of your social and zip code

>>34033667
Not the same

>>34033672
Give me your routing number

It’s over. It has to be. Im done. Even if she came crawling back begging and wanted to give me what I want, I say no. It’s done. Im done. Moving on. FINALLY.

>>34033675
Or else!

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>>34033674
Listen man ive literally been having full on dementia level regression mentally. I spent last night feeling like a scared child and had a panic attack that I was going to be left alone like when I was a kid. Ill take what I can fuggin get.

>>34032197
>>34033514
who said this need to not be a coward and talk to me

>>34033682
Take fucking meds

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>>34033682
>>34033688
Its me now what. Im talking to you. Do you wanna get a few whippings in on soup brain?

Yo, das it, we goin' to play you next...

>>34033696
You have my number bitch.

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>>34033694
I didnt know they made medication for trauma induced brain damage. Dumbass

>>34033698
I dont know who you are but sure I'll ring you up soon pal
>>34033697
Shit mufugga best watchu ass when im dancin wit my blicky

>>34033697
In chimes in the girlfriend

>>34033705
I'm no one's gf. I am a guy.
>>34033703
Stop and clap your shit. And das it.

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>>34033705

>>34033708
You act like a petty gf

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>>34033708
You funny cuz fr.
Later anon im gonna go rest before my brain turns me into a toddler again.

>>34033711
What are you talking about? Am I supposed to know who you are? Anybody know who you are? Go to a studio and rehearse. You can't even carry a fuckin' note.

>>34033716
Big on the internet

>>34033719
That's nice. What's that supposed to mean to me though?

>>34033716
Exactly what a petty gf would say

>>34033721
You from Westchestah?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha7smLPz2GY

Yeah, you SUCK!

>>34033725
No

>>34033731
You're no aurdist.

I want to spoil volume 1 of Stranger Things season 5 for you guys, but I won't.

Numbah 4 of the Kids Next Door. Numbah 4 -- of the Kids Next Doorrrrr...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF7qb6Y3GJE

I was gifted a really nice leather-bound notebook and it's making me want to get into journaling, but what's keeping me from doing it is my fear that it'll just become a daily complaining medium. I've never done it in my 32 years of living without it being for some school project.

I'm so mad at science/pharma for not coming up with a viable solution to hairloss yet. I would literally spend 10s of thousand of dollars on it if it meant I could get back the hair density I had at 18 and wouldnt have to worry about further hairloss. Instead all the research is being done on how to keep dying old people alive a little longer. Fuck this shit

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I've flunked nearly all of my college classes for 3+ years because I get consumed by a crippling fear of failure and depression, and I stop working on the assignments and/or attending class. Every fucking time. I hate myself so much. It's a useless degree, too, so it's such a goddamn waste. I'm about to get a C or lower in the most recent one, and it's entirely my fault. I used to be a good student. I want to jump off a bridge thinking about how I've squandered my present and future. I'm far too old to be acting like this and repeating the same mistakes when I've been given every avenue of support.
The truth is, I want to be a NEET more than I want to follow my dreams. I've been planning to kill myself once my cat dies in a few years. I want to be allowed to give up and accept that I'm worthless, but I'm not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGVjmJpCRUg

How do people socialize, make connections, make friends, date, and just live life in general? I legitimately don't understand it and don't understand how to function properly. I'm mentally ill, live in squalor, have no friends, and I'm still a virgin in my 30s

>>34033973
That shit is felt, highly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bFHsd3o1w0

I feel like shit, man...

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You know what to do

God won’t leave me alone because I was born a twin so in return I won’t leave God alone or the world

Icarus was happy because Icarus knew that him falling means he has risen above everyone else

But Icarus didn’t die. So now what

I guess the story continues

>>34033993
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo5Qnr2w-sQ

>>34033994
https://youtu.be/8BUKHLVCJio

Icarus should now turn the whole upside down

^ That would be funny. Making good and evil the same thing. Right and wrong all the time clashing in the game of life.

I wonder how that would change the story in this strange war or game

When we play God we shake the floorboards and have the barrels of the guns pointed always or swords back then

gf dumped me tonight. Things had been kinda shaky and she's pulled away a lot since right after I met her parents. Not responsive, very little physical affection. She complained she hadn't met my parents so I let her. And then today she dumps me, a mere 2 days later. Now it's almost 5 a.m. and I haven't slept. She pretended it was her and not me, but it is me. I'm a 32 year old NEET for 3 months now. Just was getting myself ready to go back to school. I cannot believe tomorrow I have to tell my mother and father that they nice girl they approved of so much was a total bitch who knew she was gonna dump me and still wanted to meet my parents anyway just to twist the fuckin knife. Idk how to cope with this guys. She was nice and gave me nice stuff. I don't blame her for not wanting to be with a 32 year old NEET turning back to college but holy shit what a fucking brutal way to draw it out. I'm angry I'm actually losing sleep over this. The only thing that feels good at all is that she told me to text her when I got home she still wanted to know I got home safe. I didn't. And if she texts me tomorrow I will not even open the message. I was even thinking of breaking up with her myself just due to how low interest she seemed, but she had so much shit going on I figured it might just be that. What a dumbfuck I was. I am never letting myself get attached to a woman again and that means I need to start dating other races because I literally don't get attached to them. I banged some Indian girl and she ghosted me and I never lost an ounce of sleep over her.

What's the point in trying to make friends or date if you're subhuman? I'm inferior in every way and not worth being around anybody

>>34034023
That's highly felt.

My neighbor is so weird. She moved in like a year and a half ago and has been so irritating. Things she does:
>slams her front door as loud as she can shaking my entire house
>makes sure to leave her house at the exact same time as me, as in she will leap out of her front door to try and "catch me" walking down my steps and has even cut me off basically jogging past my stoop right as I'm about to walk down it
>will linger at her car to try and make me feel harassed, like I'll come home see her there and go to another store or the dumpster first and come back and she will still be waiting around(?) or take 40 minutes to carry her groceries somehow
>makes it a point to be on speakerphone super loudly every single time she does these things
>caught her having a loud conversation with another neighbor on my front lawn where she WALKED UP TO MY FRONT WINDOWS stood in my flowerbed and PEERED INTO MY HOUSE, made eye contact with her and slammed the blinds shut in her face
>gave my boyfriend the stink eye for absolutely no fucking reason to the point he told me about it and was creeped out
>this morning at 5am was shoveling my front walk and she flounces by me on a loud speaker phone conversation then shouts MORNING for the first time at me ever
>don't even turn my head to look at her and walk into my house because I was finished salting
>she proceeds to go in and out of her house a few more times slamming her door as loud as possible
I am never going to speak a damn word to her I have no idea what her fixation is with me but it seems to be escalating and I'm a bit concerned

>>34034071
I forgot to mention she also knocked on my front door and rang my doorbell a week ago and I completely ignored her as well. I'm not imagining this shit and it's weird because I have never spoken to her once

M29. Got ghosted yesterday mid call. Blocked from all ways of communication during a very intimate call with someone that I thought could be a good match. In the beginning I did not show strong interest in her but she insisted on talking and getting to know each other which was pleasant to me. Started talking we talked long enough and ended up talking about intimacy and things we like during sex. Next few days had another call. She started sending me some sexy pictures which I really liked and sent her some of mine as well. We decided that we can have an intimate call. We did during the evening. We spoke about some random stuff and then started talking about intimacy. She started to show herself I did too, I started touching myself and then she started as well, she started moaning especially when I showed my dick to her and how hard it was. She showed me how she rubs her nipples and how she grabs her boobs. I asked her to show me how she touches herself. She said „you think you can get it this easy“. I said „common now“ and smiled. She looked at me said nothing suddenly hid her face only showing her face upper part. Call got disconnected. I called again. Call failed. Sent a „?“ sign does not go through. Then suddenly I started to realize… I hot ghosted. I tried to reach out on other platforms. Same…
It does not hurt me that much since I wasn’t invested enough in this. What really bothers me is that once I started to open up and genuinely thinking about this then things went sideways. Which sucks.

>>34034099
Another (maybe) important detail, she made some plans for Saturday and I was up to it. I was forward to that. I took it at face value and emptied my schedule for the weekend specifically for this and she confirmed this with me if I cleared my schedule for the weekend…
What do you guys think?

z, i miss you

Had a dream about this girl I liked 10 years ago. We were hanging out then kissing then I woke up. Now Im confused and angry