>>34021074
That sounds like a rough situation. Sorry to hear. Unfortunately if he just doesn't have it in him to stand up for himself the only hope is that one day he has enough and just snaps on the bullies. Not sure if the same happened for you.

>>34021074
Talk to a lawyer. If there's a possibility of the school finding itself on the business end of a lawsuit, it will do something.

>>34021074
You managed to find love and become a father and start a family. Have faith that your son will figure things out. In the meantime try getting him into martial arts like boxing and judo (forget BJJ, that shit is mostly useless in a real fight, and MMA has too many superfluous concepts). I suspect the reason he doesn't fight back is because he doesn't have the confidence that he could win and thinks he'll just get hurt more.

>I tried to tell him that when bullies attack him fight back I don't care if he gets in trouble for standing up for himself but he just doesn't have it in him and lets them beat him up.
well you need to SHOW and TEACH/ORDER him, that he has to strike first, if a fight is inevitable and you must SHOW AND TEACH him how to strike first and how to evade a strike.
also that first strike better KO that bully.
if hes weak, you show him how to break the bullies nose with his forehead.
if he can throw a punch, show him where to.

it is important to fully KO the bully so hes making an example out of him. so others will see and no longer try to bully him.
this probably only works in a white school/europe.
if hes dealing with niggers, theres no solution except evading or general evasion. and taking private classes/homeschooling.

>>34021074
You have to beat up those kids yourself

hey man the same happened to me growing up, difference is I never had the chance to have a wife and family. so you're doing something right.

however you are realizing something. your kid is a copy of you, and the bullies are apparently copies of their own parents. that's because they are LEARNING behavior from their parents, implicitly. it isn't set in stone. if you change your behavior, and demonstrate to your son how to behave, then he may well copy you. it doesn't work to just say, "Hey son, you can punch that kid in the face." If he's never seen you raise your fist in violence, he's never going to do it himself. Get a punching bag or something which you practice together which, he needs to know how it feels to fight.

As far as the teachers are concerned, save a record of every email and phone discussion you have with them. take photos of the bruises. some districts pretend bullying doesn't exist by having a very narrow definition of it. But if you go to the district office and can show records of repeated attacks on your son by a particular classmate then something may happen.

>>34021074
this: >>34021175
>If he's never seen you raise your fist in violence, he's never going to do it himself.
>practice together
Especially this.

>>34021135
>like boxing and judo (forget BJJ, that shit is mostly useless in a real fight, and MMA has too many superfluous concepts)
Strongly disagree with this. Boxing is good for learning to punch, dodge a punch, and take a punch, that's about it. Street fights quickly get into grappling and go to the ground, especially if there's multiple bullies, so BJJ and MMA actually are useful for that, and boxing not at all. The Judo was a unique experience for me learning to use clothing in a fight, to grapple and throw a guy to the ground. I got into wrestling while in school, and training and competing in that changed my whole attitude, made me stronger and confident.

>>34021074
Put him in martial arts and beat his ass when he needs it. My kid is a bully just like me.

>>34021074

You're an absolute fucking coward. You didn't learn anything from your experiences, did you? And ow your own flesh and blood, your son has to carry the conscequences of your incompetence?

You're a disgrace to your family as a man that cannot teach or protect his own child neither physically or legally. You fucking deserve every bit of shame and misery that comes upon your family. If i saw you in real life i would spit in your face, spineless bitch.

>>34021217
>Boxing is good for learning to punch, dodge a punch, and take a punch

Yeah and what do you think most fights are? Using your arms. Most street fights end within seconds after one good hit. Only thing that MMA adds on is kicks which, if your opponent isn't completely braindead, is a one-way street to ending up flat on your ass because you need both feet to retain balance.

>Street fights quickly get into grappling and go to the ground, especially if there's multiple bullies

If you're facing multiple bullies and they get you on the ground, you're fucking toast. Even the biggest BJJ shills will admit that ground techniques are only useful for 1 v. 1 fights and basic wrestling will teach you most chokeholds anyway.

>The Judo was a unique experience for me learning to use clothing in a fight

Judo is useful because it gives you all the best parts of wrestling and BJJ without the extra shit that's useless in a real fight.

>I got into wrestling while in school, and training and competing in that changed my whole attitude, made me stronger and confident.

Good for you but I can tell that you've never been in actual street fight in your entire life because you talk like an armchair analyst. In a real fight, your goal should be to take out your opposition as fast as possible and intimidate the hell out of the rest. Which means avoid hitting the ground by any means possible, especially with multiple guys ganging up on you.

>>34021217
>Street fights quickly get into grappling and go to the ground, especially if there's multiple bullies
Do they? Sounds like exactly the situation where you don't want to grapple, because you can't very well do an arm bar on multiple people.
Or what are you suggesting this would look/play out like?

>>34021315
I was agreeing with you till you got to this part
>If i saw you in real life i would spit in your face, spineless bitch.
I don't know how literally you meant it but anyone who spits on another's face is completely worthless. It's basically the lowest you can go on someone. I wouldn't even spit on the face of my worst enemy in the whole world

>>34021074
Put him on MMA classes, forget about Kung Fu, Karate and all these GARBAGE, these things are a joke. Also, don't ask for his opinion, (YOU) are the father here, and as the father, you are the one that should take important decisions till he comes of age, it doesn't matter if he doesn't like it, it doesn't matter if he starts hating you, as a father, you are not owned love, but you DO OWN raising your kid to be a winner, or at least the best version of himself.

>>34021315
Act your race.

>>34021074
Judo, especially considering bullies are usually big and clumsy.

>>34021335

If you love your son, you will fight for him. Otherwise relieve him of the torment of being a child of an incompetent and find a better authority figure for him. Better yet put him up for adoption, since your that pathetic.

And yes, not only would i spit in your face but i would smack you around like a rat that's pushed into a corner until you wised up.

>>34021315
Not op but fuck off nigger

>>34021363

The man of the household is clearly deriving pleasure from being shamed, so why stop? Let life give him pleasure via rebound experiences.

>>34021359

I mean even my mother had the balls to stand up for me when i was in first grade, until i learned to stand up for myself. Yet seeing that you're a "man" the whole deal of you coming to a mongolian knitting forum to beg for advice without having any courage to listen to your own heart is mind boggling to me. Is this what western men are now?

Summon the spirit of vengeance

>>34021113
This would make his family a pariah in the community if they are involved , if they keep to themselves it matters less

>>34021074
Get this kid in martial arts ASAP and don't stop until you find a dojo that is kind and friendly, now don't tell me you're too poor for that also

Get this kid in some of the sports on the outer edges / niches as well - something to build his confidence and can find friends in

Don't tell me you actually thought you could change entire behavioural patterns and energy without putting in any work did you?

>>34021448
its deadass kinda fucking sad you didn't reach this conclusion on your own too - i realized it in 10 seconds after reading your post and you're asking internet strangers for advice and gone through two schools cause you passive AF and all these school administrators clock it in 5 seconds that you ain't really gonna do shit so they walk all over you

Document everything , build the case , when you grow a spine - reach out to a lawyer to discuss options when its clear the school is being negligent

I'm normally not someone to put people down and life is hard , but you really are acting like a sorry excuse for a father. The kinda guy that stands there and just hopes everything works out.

Like many other anons are saying I agree that you're a real shitty fucking father. Not the worst ever, no way, not even close. Not as long as child molester fathers exist. But still really fucking shitty.

>>34021332
If a street fight goes to ground with multiple opponents then you've already lost. This guy is talking out of his ass.

>>34021594
How is any of this OP's fault?

File: jerrodmhise.png (575 KB, 547x773)

575 KB PNG

Tell your son to shoot up the school lol

>>34021074
If a teacher told me "boys will be boys" and my kid had ACTUAL BRUISES ON HIM, I'd start telling the teacher how bad they are at their job and personally attack them. I'd tell them they are the reason nobody respects teachers, and verbally abuse them every chance I could get. The teacher clearly doesn't give a fuck about their job, so why should you care. I'm not sure why you're being so kind to a fellow adult who's just brushing off your son's abuse.

Anyway, as for your son, pull him out of school and tell the entire community your school failed to do anything about it. Homeschool him, if needed. In a few years time, he'll forget about it.

> I tried to tell him that when bullies attack him fight back I don't care if he gets in trouble
You're supposed to fight. Not him, you

>>34021604
That's what I'm thinking. You take one to the ground, someone else just stomps your lights out.

>>34021074
The other anons have given amazing advice so far but even if you don't follow their advice you should at the very least start taking your son to child therapy. All that bullying can really fuck up a young developing mind. Perhaps the bullying he already suffered so far has already begun to fuck up his mind, you never know. Better safe than sorry. The therapist will most likely teach him stuff like he can't internalize what the bullies do to him and has to be aware that his life is worth living and that the bullies are just simply terrible people who are not to be taken seriously.

>>34021074
I'm just sorry to hear that. Difficult situation, expect little to no help from others.

Sign up your song to martial arts, whatever branch will work. Force him to go even if he doesn't want to. Keep trying different courses of martial arts if he refuses to go to one.

Changing your personality or your son's it's very difficult. Martial arts can help your son with that. Sons grow up to be like their parents. Your son isn't going grow to be a bad person, as you aren't one. He needs to grow to be more confident than you'll ever be. That's what I'll consider your biggest victory as a parent would be. And you yourself said it: "i expected my son not to suffer what i did". Which translates to "i don't want my son to have my deffects". And it's never to late for changes, it's better to be like that the first day, but it doesn't usually happen. I joined karate at 27 years old. And it wasn't late at all.

>>34021630
You should try thinking for yourself, haha.

File: 1759524531547293.jpg (106 KB, 675x900)

106 KB JPG

>>34021074
OP, don't listen to the assholes shitting on you. They know nothing of your life and are acting out because they're emotionally triggered. Just focus on helping your son. The advice that I do urge you to take is to sign your son up for some martial arts lessons (do your research on a good place and the best style that will help him actually fight back and instill confidence in his abilities). What is stopping him from fighting back is psychological. Just telling him won't work. He needs to learn by doing and in an environment that is supportive to him. Some other hobbies or activities that can help him develop a skill or hobby he can feel confident and proud of are good ideas, too.

I also suggest documenting everything and being relentless in your search for legal options that will force the school to do something, just in case. Use all options at your disposal. Fuck what the other anon said about this making your family a 'pariah.' You do what you need to do to keep your kid safe. If people have a problem with it, they can go fuck themselves.

Either way, don't give up on your son, but have faith that he will find his way no matter what happens. What is equally as important as dealing with this situation, is him seeing that YOU are fighting for HIM. A child needs that so they know they're not alone, are loved and can model the behavior so they can learn to fight for themselves. DON'T GIVE UP. I know you can do it. You clearly love him dearly. Regardless of how this plays out, make sure he knows that and that it will never change. And moving forward, always try your best to be a safe, supportive person that checks in on how he's feeling so that he doesn't fall into the trap of becoming reclusive and distant from people.

Best of luck to you and your son, op, I know you both can come out of this stronger.

Your first mistake was raising a son and expecting him to not end up like you, kind of a no brainer, if the dads a depressed loser then it stands to reason his son will most likely end up the same way. Your second mistake was talking to bureaucrats (school staff) as if they're human, they're soulless NPCs, raise your voice at them, threaten them with a lawsuit, get angry and ask them why they aren't doing their jobs, have a backbone for christs sake.

>>34021074
>he's slightly smarter and doesn't make as many stupid mistakes
That's a good sign at least...I think. You did say "slightly." It depends on how intelligent you were at his age. If you were borderline mentally retarded at his age then him being only slightly smarter than you isn't going to do much good if at all for him.

You gotta build his confidence. Put him in boxing classes as well.

>>34021074

Like this poster said: >>34021135
He sounds like a smart kid, so he has the intellectual side down (try to make sure that he keeps this as he ages), explain to him the importance of developing his masculine/savage/physical side in the world, and start putting him into classes, mainly boxing, judo, bjj, wrestling, Muay Thai/kickboxing etc. Not karate.

>>34021217
>If he's never seen you raise your fist in violence, he's never going to do it himself.

File: emoji2458688519.jpg (262 KB, 1920x1920)

262 KB JPG

>>34021074
>I was hoping my son would be the opposite of me. I was hoping he'd be the one DOING the bullying if anything.

>>34023738
dead ass if he's nerdy - get him into anime , when he sees all his fav protagonists going down and realizing 'they had to get stronger to fight their bullies - it might create THE spark if dad is offering IRL fight lessons

Teach him endurance if anything. Endurance is what will help him get through those fights and not get in trouble. Endurance is the best block in fight compared to blocks as you'll still be standing and your opponent worn out. I'll tell you how you build on this, when school is done, you and him start jogging together. If he goes, "this hurts" that is where you need to motivate him, because past those "this hurts" moments is where you build endurance.

Take your son to a real combat sport (wrestling, boxing, kickboxing), let him train and build confidence for a few months. Encourage him to defend himself and resort to violence when being bullied and back him when he gets into trouble as a result. Whoever is bullying him will learn a hard lesson, and the embarrassment of getting their ass kicked will stop them from pursing any further bullying of your kid in the future.

Trust me if you train your son to be like a tower or a boulder in a fight rather than an attacker all parties will be satisfied. You can't move a damn boulder or tower if it is grounded enough by strength.

>>34021074
This is why I won't have children , I wouldn't want them to be like me at all

>>34025982
I mean I kind can of understand his point. Obviously being a bully is a very bad thing but I'd rather be the one doing the bullying rather than the one being bullied. Bullies are often stereotyped as being secretly insecure and while some are like that most bullies are just arrogant egomaniacs who are constantly spoiled by their parents. Meanwhile you have no idea what kind of issues the kid being bullied may develop from all the bullying they suffer. Also, bullies are the dominant role while those being bullied are the submissive role. Basically meaning that bullies are above socially. And bullies tend to be big and strong while those being bullied are small and weak.

>>34021074
Now that you are bigger than those second graders you can help your son kick their asses.

>>34021074
I kind of get the feeling that you haven't changed much if at all since your childhood years. Bullying exactly as it happens in school is really rare in the adult world but I get the feeling you're the type who can't say no to people and who is a people pleaser. Otherwise you probably wouldn't need advice on this sort of thing. Just a hunch.

File: 13.png (186 KB, 528x450)

186 KB PNG

>>34026418 and to all of you who suggesting he should train or fight his way out of this:
By the time he's grown stronger than the bully they're most likely out of school already and even if he does surpass him physically it won't be enough to handle the bully AND his friends ganging up on him. If he does fight back and win there's a possibility the bullies stop, there's also a possibility they'll fuck him up even worse than before and give him permanent serious injuries. That's clearly not worth the risk. The only reasonable thing to do is to keep them separated. Most bullies won't change. Chances are even if the parents were to be strict and punish to discourage further bullying it doesn't guarantee anything because they will encounter eachother like usual without some security guard intervening if someone says something or does something cruel. Demand the school to expel/relocate the bully. If that fails the victim should change school, maybe homeschool if that's possible. I'm not saying training to become stronger and self-defense isn't worth working on in the grand scheme of things, but it's not necessarily a realistic solution to this problem. It's not morally defensible to continually force a child into an environment where they get consistently preyed on.
>>34021621
OP is shitty in the sense that he didn't think ahead, didn't prepare. He experienced the cold, unforgiving world first-hand, but didn't learn from it. He acted as if his son would live in a different reality.
>>34026492
It's obviously bad, but he wouldn't mind his son victimizing highly impressionable adolescents despite knowing how bad it is, having experienced the receiving end of abuse himself. OP is spiritually equal to these bullies. That's why I reacted with that raised eye emoji. I could be misinterpreting, but what the fuck? This may be karmic justice.

>>34027185
>and to all of you who suggesting he should train or fight his way out of this
>>34021135
>>34021175
>>34021217
>>34021234
YOU

>>34027185 (You)
>and to all of you who suggesting he should train or fight his way out of this
>>34021343
>>34021356
>>34021448
>>34022573
>>34022659
and YOU

>>34027185
>and to all of you who suggesting he should train or fight his way out of this
>>34022810
>>34023441
>>34023738
>>34026178
>>34026267
>>34026339
YOU TOO

>>34021074
Take him out of school. Sending him somewhere hes demonstrably unsafe every day for years is terrible abuse.

>>34021217
Fuck all that.

Teach him to bite, gouge, and break fingers. All the stuff normally considered against the rules. There's no penalty at his age and bullies with horrific bite wounds, broken fingers, and a missing eye don't come back for more.

File: G2OfTe4WUAA-MhO.jpg (38 KB, 568x513)

38 KB JPG

Give a knife to your son and tell the teachers that since they dont do shit about the bullying your son will bring a knife and use it if he gets bullied that way they will be forced to do something about it

File: cat yapper.gif (1.93 MB, 350x350)

1.93 MB GIF

>>34026426
u stoopid anon? children turn out almost always the exact opposite than their parents. it is like some sort of cosmic or divine law.
or maybe just reverse psychology kek-
please dont be discouraged by such small things.
it is always the people who should make children the most that are discouraged to make em.
out of spite, you should make now at least two children

>>34021234
my dad beat the shit out of me when i was younger to "try and toughen me up" doesn't work. i'm now a bitter man with anger issues and me and my dad don't talk.

>>34021315
be quiet, poopskin. actual humans are talking.

>>34021074
Fuck that sucks.
Enrolling your son in self defense will help him. Not fucking karate but boxing, wrestling, or bjj.

>>34021074
I believe this is your own fault for trying to vicariously live your childhood assertive experiences through your son. You're angry at yourself for never standing up for yourself as a child and you're hoping your son can do what you failed to do and wish you did looking back. Never a good mindset to have. Especially when raising a child. This is karma for you.

>>34021074
>When I first had my son I was hoping he'd be the opposite of me in every way
have you ever heard of genetics? Maybe if you stopped being a depressed faggot you could be a proper father to your son and teach him to be strong

>>34029142
At least you realise the anger issues. I bet you are plenty tough. Any good father wants his son to be a better man than him and is okay with the kid hating him for it.

>>34029766
do most good fathers desire for their sons to never talk to them again?

>>34027190
>>34027192
>>34027193
what do you think the solution is? If you want your will to be dome the only way to enforce it is to use your power or the power of the state. Maybe he should just be a passive aggressive karen to get what he wants

>>34021074
holy this thread has a lot of shit advice
>learn martial art
>learn boxing
my dad enrolled me in these meme class and it never helped. Thankfully I'm not as retarded as him so i didnt get bullied like him, i was doing the bullying, but not by my physical strength, i just got friend with big guys and told them who to beat up. Anyway, for your problem op, just pay some bullies to beat the shit out of the bullies who bully your kid, it's that simple

>>34029825
>this anon: HURR DURR WHAT'S A METAPHOR?

>>34021074
are you and your wife overbearing? never let him make his own decisions or do things on his own?

>>34021074
Kick those little kid's asses
People will start to care, I guarantee it

>>34021113
Tldr but this seems like the answer, if school doesn't intervene when physical violence is happening to your kid... TF? Surely you can punish them. Verbal shit whatever but physical violence on the kid, come on? Surely there are repercussions on the dogshit school for not doing anything about it

>>34021436
Who gives a shit about being part of the dogshit community

>>34029815
I already explained it in this post>>34027185
Simply put: Keep them apart.

File: MV5BNTBiNzI2NGYtYTgwMC00N(...).jpg (212 KB, 1000x1500)

212 KB JPG

>>34021074
You appear weak, man up. Do masculine things with your son like repairs, fishing, bodyweight exercises. Put your son in a grappling/throwing martial art like judo and force him to participate. School, especially multicultural schools, are like prisons - do not be a victim.

>I tried to tell him that when bullies attack him fight back I don't care if he gets in trouble for standing up for himself but he just doesn't have it in him and lets them beat him up.
Best line in here, practice with your son how to fight. Shoving is his best bet. Avoid striking fist to bone, fist to stomach is better for an amateur.

>>34021113
>>34022573
Pathetic and weak.

>>34021135
>>34021146
>>34021217
>>34021356
>>34026339
Based advice.

>>34021074
US or somewhere else? You kinda already know what to do, but the anxiety is getting in your way.

put him in boxing and or wrestling now

>>34029784
Never hasn’t happened yet. Yeah, I don’t know Anon, maybe your dad is an ass. Mine was too. He must have never wanted to talk again because that’s what happened so far. I have (You). That’s good enough. My boy loves me to death. I could never fully tell him how disappointed I am.

>>34030313
yeah until the next bully comes. Then you made a kid that can't handle anything because mommy is supposed to "keep them apart" but now he's 30 and there is no mommy

>repressed memories have returned
I think the worst karmic injustice of it all is after being relentlessly bullied by kids all throughout high school, I told myself I'd become a better person than them as a form of revenge. However, I'm the loser that lives in my family's basement and they have successful careers, houses and families.

I really don't know what I can add, but I hope you find a way to subtly encourage your son to stand up for himself. He may get in trouble for the day but the bullies will likely stop for more than just one day.

I'm just really concerned because my nephew is very kind and gentle, even in sports he doesn't get aggressive enough, and although he's very well liked by his peers, I am unsure how he will handle getting bullied and hope I can find similar good answers here for if/when that happens.

>>34031666
Like I stated in the earlier post you can switch school or homeschool. IMO switching schools more than once is probably not worth it, but it's worth one try and if that fails do homeschooling.
>but now he's 30 and there is no mommy
If his parents did the right thing he would be proficient in self-defense by then. You know switching schools and learning self-defense aren't mutually exclusive?

>>34021074
>I was hoping he'd be the opposite of me in every way.
That's part of the issue.
With kids you never know.
They could end up being just like you, the exact opposite of you, or somewhere in-between. You never know. You have to prepare for all possibilities.

>>34027185
>there's also a possibility they'll fuck him up even worse than before and give him permanent serious injuries
I can only really that happen in diversity-holes like the US, the UK or France.
In the civilized world, "simply" showing that you won't just let it happen like that, should be enough.
In the diversity-holes, there is probably no way around escalating it to the school administration and facing the social consequences of doing so.

>>34034098
your bet

>>34021074
He is like that because he absorbed his mother's anxiety and neurosis. Exactly like how you absorbed your own mother's.

It was really your fault for not being balanced and keeping your wife in check to protect your son who either rcoddled him too much, or thought it's was cute and nice having a shy boy kid. Essentially you married someone with very similar traits to your mother's.

Nice to see /adv/ being serious for a change.