I'm starting to realize my childhood was not normal. People tell me they were not suicidal as children. Are they just lying to me?How do I cope?
I am havibg a terrible time but I stopped wanting friends or sex.
>>34027411I thought my childhood was pretty normal, especially because I have friends who whom it very obviously wasn't: Abusive parents, alcoholic parents, manipulative parents, dead parents.Until I started going to therapy and realized that despite that I definitely had some really bad things happen to me aswell.You always assume the way you are brought up is some version of normal, because you have nothing to compare it to
part of healing is grieving what you lost, in this case a normal childhood. yes some people have happy normal childhoods with good parents who actually take care of them and prepare them for the world, these are the well adjusted types who seem to have everything together early on.
>>34027411>Did ya'll have normal/good childhoods or no?I count my blessings that my childhood and my family are extremely good overall, especially compared to my peers irl and online. I would not trade those for anything. I think it only adds to my own depression that I turned out to be such a disappointment to myself.
>>34027431In my experience, dwelling on what's lost doesn't help at all,quite the opposite.You have to put the past behind you. You can choose to remember it for the sake of acknowledging it but beyond this you're served by moving on.
People with good childhoods literally turn into those khaki pants wearing conformists who buy houses in the suburbs and never have fun again. I pity them and I appreciate the strong sense of independence and distrust of others that being horrifically abused gave me. Is this a massive cope? Yes.
>>34027411>Did y'all have a normal/good childhood?No. Thought I did for a long time, realised that my mind normalised it only to preserve my sanity. Had a mental breakdown once I realised how fucked I was and how fucked my upbringing was, then got better. Turns out nah it's not normal to watch your house get smashed to pieces in drunken fits of rage from parents or watch your brother take a form to the eye from dad or to wake up smelling gas in an attempt from dad trying to blow the whole house up lol. Too many fucked memories to count. And every time I talk about them I always talk about it like describing the weather. Scared people off.>How do I cope?That's the best part, you don't. Coping implies pushing through something hard until you reach a breakthrough. Coping implies carrying something long enough until it transforms into something complete.Childhood trauma is in the past, the past cannot be undone. And the damages you get mentally are most likely gonna have imprinted in your personality permanently.So you can't do shit. And accepting that is the thing that gives relief. As for the personality abnormalities that are permanent, like hypervigilance or low impulse control or anger issues or whatever the hell you picked up, you gotta keep those traits. But what you do is repurpose them to be something beneficial and generative. Put them to use, make a passion or career or skill out of them to serve yourself and others.
>>34027411i had a not very good childhood. there were some good times, but more bad times overall. starting to wonder if my dad molested me as a kid. there's large portions of my past that are completely blacked out. can't remember anything. not sure if i want to.
>>34027411Mine wasn't normal, but overall good/alright. Definitely thought suicidal thoughts were more rational then, but it could've been my outlook on religion at the time more than the family itself>>34027415same
My adulthood hurts more than my childhood (mostly my own stupid fault), and my childhood wasn't perfect either. Also, the girl in your pic reminds me of someone who left a beautiful memory in me, and now I miss her dearly. She found someone, and I ruined my opportunity with her even though she liked me, I was fixated on all the wrong people, people who didn't care about me, and because I wanted to try one person at a time, and she was from another state, among other foolish reasons, I lost my chance. Moral of the story, if someone loves you and you don't have to try and convice them to love you, don't go trying to convince someone else to love you, that is who you're supposed to be with, the person that makes love simple, not the one that makes love hard or impossible. You need someone that is a friend, someone that doesn't judge you, but listens to you, and appreciates your presence near them. It just works.
People are unusually convinced I'm some mass murdering rapist all the time, but despite that I lived a pretty decent childhood. Had loving parents and grandparents looking after me.
aside from nearly having sex with my mother when I was 17, I can't complain
>>34028690yeah, you can't post some shit like that and not give us a full story.
>>34027411my mother was schizoprenic and imported me out of the states lmao. i realize how much better i am having been away from her for years now.
>>34027609why the fuck are you here.
>>34028146I hate people with normal childhoods.
Despite of us being poor back then, my childhood was pretty good for the most part, sure my parents fight over money and still sort of do despite of us basically now being “upper middle class” now, least that what my dad said and think but that just a Mexican things for the most partThought I do wish that I did more in my childhood instead of coming back from school and spending some of my childhood on my iPad and shit, which provably explains the way I’m am.t 21 year old zoomer, miss old internet :^(
>>34029057Back massage one day opened a pandora's box. Went from telling her to lower her pants a little to full on ass massages that summer. Next year after some hiatus i managed to spoon her with nothing but my boxers on. Few months later I felt bold and snuck my middle finger down her bare ass crack when we cuddled and I came hands free. I think that was when the reality dawned on her and she kinda started avoiding any sort of risky situations with me that could lead somewhere.
>>34027411Childhood for most people was the best time of their life. You don't cope, just keep going. Your brain was mostly moulded before 7 years old.
>>34027411Mine wasn't normal but it wasn't abusive like a lot of people's. My parents thought they were doing the best for me, at least my mom did. It's not her fault she was stupid and fell for a cult and sent me to a cult "private "school"" full of bullies
>>34029487holy SHIT thanksgiving dinner must be awkward
>>34027411Are you still suicidal?>How do I cope?You don't really need to. You survived. You are here. You lived one thing, others lived different things. The important part is what do you do from here on out?
>>34029356>miss old internetDude, the old internet was long gone before you were born. Calling web 2.0 the "old internet" is millennial cope.
>>34029575Not at all actually. She really repressed it and we both played stupid due to immense amount of shame but kept going anyway. Just like how we pretended nothing happened back then, we pretend now even easier. I feel like it's as if it never happened. Though i am suffering some consequences from what we did.
>>34029584Don’t care nigga, I miss when everything wasn’t so political and propaganda schizo shit that big tech company trying to shove into your face to make us more radical and against each others
I was physically beaten for most of it, yet also treated (materially) well. This confused me into believing my childhood was normal.>How do you cope?Simple; The measure of a man is the extent of which his circumstances affect his character. I choose my future.>>34027686You’re right.
i was suicidal and quite depressed since i was about 9/10 but i had very good childhood (other than that). i think depression just runs in my family
>>34027411I had that realization recently myself as a 27 year old (the suicidality part, I knew my childhood was fucked all along)I distinctly remember having a breakdown when I was like 12 and planning on how I would kill myself. It suddenly hit me that I was basically depressed my entire life just slightly less since I had friends and school gave me a semblence of a social life.My parents were fighting since I could remember. My dad had problems with alcohol which now with hindsight was most likely because of my narcissist mother. Constant screaming matches then divorce when I was about 10. Dad ended up drinking himself to death soon after but I didnt even know he died until I was 18 and we found out due to some tiny amount of unpaid taxes.Can't tell you how to cope because I have no idea myself.
I was physically hit and insulted from age 6-14 by my parents and bullied at school, wasn't great but I had a roof over my head, never went hungry and had internet. Guess it could have been worse.
>>34027411My parents were just shitty enough to ruin me permanently but not enough for me to leave them without feeling like a selfish scumbag. It's this weird Goldilocks zone and they've always been careful to never swing too hard either way. They are old and poor and I'm the closest thing they have to a retirement plan, so while I know deep down they are not my responsibility (they chose to have me) I somehow always act against my own interests just because I don't want them dying on the streets. As horrible as they are they don't deserve that, which is why I'll never end myself though I've really really wanted to at certain times. I resent them a lot obviously and likely always will for basically bringing me to life as some long-term investment (of course they've never said that outright to my face, but the unwritten expectation remains). Thankfully I've never been ambitious and don't want much, just a friend or two and if I'm lucky a partner to go through life with, assuming there someone out there who wants a self-pitying loser with no prospects and no social skills.
