>>34030382
Don't bring up how good he is, or that you love him like "family" which is basically friendzoning. Something you do before you even go together. In this situation there is no way to not hurt him, but at least be clear why.

Explain exactly why you want to break-up, while saying "sorry" ever so often
Also make sad face but don't cry (otherwise it would imply you are uncertain)

That's it more or less

>>34030396
Can I ask why not to bring up that I think he’s a good person?

>>34030414
as a man I would rather you say you hate me while breaking up than say that you love me

>>34030382
You're not going to be able to break up with him without hurting him. Nobody enjoys break-ups, especially the person who is being broken up with. It's common sense femanon. Do you really think he would feel:
>"Oh thank GOD. I am so happy! Thank you for breaking up with me, I am feeling so soothed and not hurt, I am glad I am losing someone I thought loved me as much as I loved them, I am super excited to lose the sense of familiarity with someone I made an emotional home with. I can't WAIT to become emotionally homeless and alone overnight, this is making me feel good!"

No of course no one feels or acts like this during a break up. Because they fucking suck. The only way you can break up with someone without then caring is they have to stop caring about you long before.

So you need to have dated a cold hearted lifeless piece of shit to get what you want. And if you are leaving someone who you consider to be loving and very good to you, good luck to you.

Because the dumper always feels relief and freedom and happiness after they dump their partner. The dumpee feels like shit. Fast forward a year or two, the dumpee feels relief and happy, and the dumper feels regret and pain once they realize what they threw away. Story as old as time.

>>34030453
Read the damn post next time. Nowhere did I say I thought I could break up without hurting him at all. Read.

>>34030469
I read the post. I don't care you said "without hurting him too much". That's just naive speak for "how do I mitigate guilt and make sure I can control how he feels". You don't get to control how he feels that's out of your control. You are going to hurt him now matter what. The big girl thing to do is to it clean and quick and as honest as possible.

>>34030414
because it's just confusing. It doesn't help, or make anyone feel better. In that scenario it also seems just not honest as you could think like
>but if I'm good, I'm still not good enough for you?
I mean it fine to say stuff like
>you didn't do anything wrong
or similar.

>>34030414
1) because that's not the reason you're leaving him, at best it's a red herring and at worst
2) you're telling him his best is either
a) still not good enough, or
b) outright icky
neither of which are true (based on your initial post)

>>34030516
>>34030518
These.

If she wanted to be honest she could say:
>I lost faith in the relationship. I no longer feel secure in this relationship. I found someone else who offered me a greater sense of security and I wish to leave to go pursue that."

Or

"I am scared that you are feeling like family. My family was dysfunctional. I have trust and commitment issues and the first minute things got comfortable was the minute I started to panic that suffering was on its way soon, I am scared and wish to run away."

But y'know how women are, they're passive. They are too scared to be direct because idk they're afraid of consequences or repricussions or something.

>>34030382
bf is the only thing i care about not to kms anymore
part of me wishes he would dump me because frankly i'm a crippled and worthless burden; he deserves better and i would like the permission to be free to off myself
problem is i'm pretty sure he's aware i'd nuke myself and won't dump me because of that

>>34030382
find him a new girlfriend

>>34030894
I plan on being honest that I have an issue with the fundamental way we interact with each other and it doesn’t fulfill me.

I’m just asking for other tips to make it better for him. If brutal honesty is the best thing for him then of course I’ll do that.

>>34030382
Male version of size requirements would probably be about having giant natural tits/ass while being skinny, not just about being skinny alone

>>34031016
are you OP or some random anon who is trauma dumping?

>>34031873
OP here. That is not OP.

>>34031796
Just tell him the truth, OP. Don't make the process more complicated than it has to be.

>>34030414
most boys do not understand that being a good person has nothing to do with female attraction (and often repels women). honestly if you are a bitch about it would help him get over it

>>34031166
This is the ideal thing to do if you don't want to utterly break someone, would be the equivalent of getting someone off an addiction with a harmless alternative unless they're really attached
Not that I expect anyone to genuinely be that caring of someone which they're about to drop

>>34032262
I don’t have any friends I could set him up with. We’re long distance anyway so meeting people in his town isn’t an option. He might be insulted if I tried to get him another gf anyway.

>>34032798
>We’re long distance anyway so meeting people in his town isn’t an option.
why the fuck are you wasting our time on pretend bullshit?
LDR aren't real. this is the wide consensus on this board. Just fucking block his number. Your "relationship" was never real, and that's why you're done with him. You got whatever you thought you'd get out of your interactions, and are now done with him.
But don't delude yourself that you still had a relationship with this poor idiot when you weren't seeing him regularly.

>>34032847
That’s retarded

>>34030382
Reason 163836# why women should be lined up against the wall as soon as we get artificial incubators

>>34032908
this thread is retarded. I just spit facts.

>>34030382
It's gonna hurt him. We gotta do things that suck sometimes. Dont look for magic wands to get out of difficult situations. It doesnt work like that. Be an adult.

>>34030469
But it's clear from your actions that you WANT to get out of hurting him because you feel guilty about it, otherwise you wouldn't pose the question at all.

>>34033011
>hurting him too much
>too much
NTA

>>34032969
Okay buddy I was just looking for tips. So hostile.

>>34033124
Go cruise the adv board. The amount of threads Daily. "How do I make a thing thats hard to do not hard?"
Its exhausting. You shouldn't need to crowd source people to understand being broken up with hurts. Its going to crush him. You cant soften it.

>>34033124
That IS the tip. Hum and haw about how to make it easier and youll drag it out. Accept now it sucks. I wasnt trying to be hostile. Thats the advice. Go for it. Rip the bandaid off.

>>34033082
Anon, if you can't tell that she's doing this because she's trying to hide behind a veneer of being caring, I don't know what to tell you.

>>34033124
>getting told to be an adult is hostility
Why ask for advice if you're going to get touchy about what you receive?

>>34032798
>>34030382
Then just be honest with him, stop wasting his time. Tell him you're not over your hoe phase and want someone exciting like a convict who'll rape and beat you every other day and not someone boring and nice. Direct him to Dr K and hoemath on YouTube while you're at it, so the poor guy can get a better grasp on female brains and how to properly get over a bitch leaving you before it turns into a decade long downward spiral

>>34033229
And I'll add; the sooner this happens the sooner he can heal and the sooner he can learn about female brains the sooner he can start playing the "game" properly

Just goes to show you, you can do everything right and women still find shit to complain about.

>>34033229
Mystery method is still the best. tried and true.

>>34033328
I’m a gay man

>>34030382
It's very important to understand that you *will* hurt him, and that pretty much anything you try to do to minimise that will make things worse. There's no such thing as "letting someone down gently".

It's worth making sure that you don't give him any false hope that you might get back together, so he can start the process of moving on as soon as possible. And (assuming it's true) you can reassure him that he hasn't done anything wrong and that there wasn't anything he could have done differently. (If you don't do that he may cling on to the hope that he can talk you round by saying "I can change").

Anything else you try will make things worse. In particular, do not try and stretch out the process of leaving over days or weeks. A clean break is a sudden, horrible shock, but a prolonged sense that things are going wrong and you can't seem to stop it is far worse. Just leave and get it over with.

>>34030382
>The reason being a lack of general satisfaction with our interactions and conversations.
Have you told him about that?

>>34033971
Even worse because you act like a bitch when you're not one.

>>34030414
>youre a great guy just not good enough for me teehee

>>34032798
>We’re long distance anyway
Lmao this whole thread is a waste of time

>LD"R"