Whats the point?>father was clinically mentally ill but absent (except from lawsuit against me and threatening letters)>mother had ptsd from psycho dad and I grow up with her constantly chimping out>have a cyst that destroys my upper spine when im 13 and im in the hospital for nearly two years>probably a alcoholic>unattractive on account of my height>all friendships feel hollow>have mediocre grades due to alcoholism and skipping school so work 12 hour shifts at a low skill job>only person I ever truly felt loved by (my grandmother) slipped and hit her head and died in after a 2 week coma recently21 now and i just dont get the point, i have nothing happy to look back on, nothing happy to look forward too. I have no family to turn to, I have no friends to turn to. I know i won't get a gf, I might get a carrer if study and improve my old grades which is what im doing but whats even the point of that? To get money?I work out, I read, ive tried god, ive tried therapy but nothing helps the unavoidable fact my life just feels pointless. The only thing I moderately enjoy is reading, but now there is barely time for that.
>>34033235op just stand up walk to the bathroom look in the mirrow, you are the point, no you family no your friends is you life, just liive you life no the enviroment around taked and impose the rules, live you life how you enjoy more
I think the sooner you realise that life really has no meaning, the sooner you can get on with your life. And I don't mean that in a nihilistic way, but just in an objective way - we exist to exist, so may as well, right? If anything, the meaning of life is to enjoy it. I think there's a lot to be said for doing things that you enjoy, or creating goals (studying, etc.). I'm a similar age, and I won't profess to understand your specific circumstances, but having something to work towards is definitely what's kept me going for the past few years. It's been studying for me, even though there's mixed opinions on whether there'll even be any job opportunities by the time I'm done in a year's time. Kinda depends on what you're studying I guess, but that's besides the point. Working 12hr shifts with no end goal would definitely take it out of me, but having the end goal of saving for a holiday, or a house, or an apartment, or even just getting by until you finish your degree, can really help.I think, if you can help/afford it, spend less time at work and more time reading, working out, etc. for the above reasons. If you can't though, oh well, still do as much as you can be arsed doing. Just make sure to make time for yourself, mindless wageslaving is probably one of the more harmful things I've realised you can do to yourself.The upshot for me, is that the more you get caught up in the "why"s of why you should keep going, the harder it gets. if you can just keep going without really considering why, that's probably the best way to go about it. It worked for me, I guess. Maybe it'll work for someone else.
