I had a brief conversation with a woman one time. We laughed, we joked, etc, etc. Then she started telling people that I’m a creep. So now I don’t talk to women.

I am dating a functionally asexual man who somehow wants children, and will likely marry him regardless.
I have no self respect and no will to leave.

I have twice chosen the absolute wrong person to go on vacations with causing me to end two friendships and to almost get abandoned in the woods of Colorado and causing me to abandon someone in new orleans.

I give people too much credit for being decent.

>be me
>junior year in high school
>decided to date this girl (I'll call her Sarah)
>i decided to trying dating a woman because I was curious (am a woman)
>we watch Barbie movies in class
>we share our interests
>going great
>2nd semester 2nd month in
>sarah tells me she's moving to florida
>we both don't want long distance
>we break up
>sad
>genuinely liked her
>2nd semester 2 weeks later
>check phone during class free time
>im in a GC with sarah and someone idk (I'll call him James)
>"whats this about?"
>james is Sarah's boyfriend

So what happened is that Sarah started school in Florida and james comforted her while she was crying about our breakup and she decided to date him.

>i was mad but I didn't wanna start shit
>james DMs me asking for Sarah's interests
>i wanted Sarah to be happy so I tell him
>they tell me about their fuck sessions
>at a party with a gun, on the couch in the auditorium, in the bathrooms at school, at home etc etc
>feeling like a fuck
>i find out James doesn't care about her and just wants a living sex doll
>inform Sarah
>not taken seriously
>luckily Sarah and I had a friend (calling him Norman)
>tell Norman everything
>he tells me he'll deal with it
>norman talks to Sarah
>norman suddenly wants to be netrual about all this
>norman and Sarah come to the conclusion I'm being a toxic ex and norman is taking Sarah's side but he doesn't want to make me an enemy because we've been friends since middle school
>im completely done with ts and it's clear I cannot do anything
>months later
>i wanted to drop norman as a friend but I have homeroom with him and I'm not about to deal with all that
>decide to delete the app I communicated to them on
>check Norman's account one last time
>hes making a post about how James is a bad person.
>I FUCKING TOLD YOU AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN
>decide to not date anymore
>waited until graduation to cut contact with norman
Now I have a really hard time trusting people.

An outright angel confessed her love to me and tried her best and all that, but i didnt love her back at all, she smelled funny. So i just ran away and ghosted/ignored her completely instead.
I didnt tell or say anything to upset her, i just ran away, literally, and never looked back at her and kept my distance at all costs.
Part of me really dislikes how i handled the situation, it was not the right thing to do by me, i shouldve been truthful to her and told her that i dont resonate with her. And another part of me is glad that i just skidaddled, so she doesnt waste any more of her time with me and also that i could be selfish and keep my solitude and peace.
And another part of me thinks it was my only chance at true, unadulterated love in this iteration of incarnation. Contemplating what couldve been and all.
oh well

>>34035949
what was the smell like ?

I exasperated my mental illness with LSD, molly, high potency THC and alcohol.


I tried to use Jesus as my weapon to manipulate people.

Police took me to a mental health facility several times because my parents noticed I was making loud noises and destroying my own property. This happened when I had roommates too.

I tore up my own Bible because it had my name on it and I didn’t like the idea that it was “mine”, Jesus is for everybody.

I had sex with 3 women in 24 hours raw and got chlamydia. Gave a stripper cunnilingus I met on tinder in 2017.

I quit my job and spent all my savings on weed and thrift fashion purchases, and then donated it back to Good Will.

Despite all the dumb shit, God is still good and things have gotten much better and managed.

Severe bipolar is kinda fun when you’re in mania but the consequences are terrible.

My advice is getting healthy levels of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. Eat fermented low sugar foods, light to moderate exercise, social interaction, get a hug, morning sunlight, sleep enough.

If you take recovery and healing seriously, you’ll recover and heal. Get professional help, “paid friends”

I’m in my 30s now and no crazy shit has happened in years.

One of my classmates tried to start a fight with me, I don't know why. I called him the n word just to piss him off more, then pulled a knife on him when he hit me. Got expelled, sent to juvie. Parents didn't want me home after so I went to an orphanage. Biggest wake up call of my life. I was a horrible kid.

>>34035722
I'm a 3 time dropout - I've dropped out of high school, university, and community college.

I've lost all my money gambling crypto multiple times. Gained and lost well north of $100k despite never holding a "real" job. I have chronically fucked around and wasted years because I believed I was too stupid to live a serious life. For example, I thought engineering was way too much for a retard like me to ever aspire to, so I fucked around through high school, then college, then dropped out, then went back to do another bullshit major for retards, dropped out again, and now at 26 I'm finally giving it a real shot: I just finished Calc 2 with a pretty easy 95%. 8 years down the drain because I was being a pussy.
I have gotten basically endless support from my parents to be a fuckup which I feel pretty gross about. On one hand it was ultimately pragmatically correct of them to do that since I will probably end up making way more than they've ever given me and will repay them by giving them whatever help they need in their old age (assuming I don't fuck up massively), but it probably would've been morally correct to kick me out or just shoot me desu.

I accidentally scared the shit out of a woman and she called the police. I didn't do anything illegal, but I had to quit the social group so I wouldn't have to see her again. There were logical reasons for my actions, but it doesn't look good at all and I regret it.

I'm very confident that I fumbled the woman I was supposed to marry by being mentally ill. I get basically no attention from women and I'm a pseudo neet so I've basically taken the stance that I am not made to be in a relationship

>>34035722
>hey, did you hear that? She likes anon!
>She likes anon! She likes anon! She likes anon!
>don't act on it even though she's cute because I'm an autistic idiot.

I talked bad about my friends behind their backs because I didn't like how they were treating another friend of mine. Turns out they were listening and recording. Now I have no friends.

>>34036723
Better no friends than bad ones I always say, I think you dodged a bullet here

My greatest fuck up is that I didn't try

I had sex with an IRL woman once. Total waste of time. I fell for the relationships meme you guys keep posting.

I went to a boarding school where we had to work. I did maintenance on all the buildings and equipment and grounds and all. I was told to change the oil in the truck. Half way through, I forgot to put the drain plug in, so I was filling the engine from a hand crank pump on a fifty five gallon drum. I was cranking and checking the dipstick and cranking and checking again and again. I ran out of oil and the engine still wasn’t full. I climbed out from under the hood to go get more oil, and started slipping all over the place like a cartoon. There was oil everywhere on the floor and it was about sundown. I had stuff to do. It was a scheduled environment, like prison school. I used paint rollers to push all the oil out the door and swept in some soap and brought the hose from outside and just sprayed the crap out of everything. Screw it. Had to go. I thought I was going to get canned but I got a three cent raise with praise that the floor had never shined so splendidly.

>valentines day
>20 y/o
>parents on vacation, entire house to myself
>really cute girl texts me asking if she can come over
>super cute, stylish, unique look, like sexy tomboy, looked sort of like Lights but also extremely fit (former military), super sweet, had no fucking idea she was talking to me as she was way out of my fucking league
>tell her yeah sure okay, ask her what she wants to do
>mentions wanting to watch the first avatar movie (just came out on dvd at this time)
>say ok yeah sure I've seen it already in theaters but ill watch it again
>she said she saw it too but wants to also see it again with me
>confused but tell her to come on over
>we watch the movie in my basement
>home by ourselves on valentines day watching a 3 hour romance movie considered universally mid that we've both seen and I make zero moves and pick up zero clues
>end the movie, walk her outside to her car, give her a hug
>go back inside and go to sleep
Am I retarded?

>>34035949
i swear i couldve written this
its all ive been thinking about
but be realistic. either you wouldve fallen in love and 90% chance fallen out, wasted your time and got colder or it wouldve been a mess
but desu its cope.

>>34037218
i was already cold back then.
now i am just getting colder every year and especially after 2019-
it prolly wdve been a mess, but at least i couldve learned from said mess.
in the end i didnt learn anything and just missed out on chances + the world degenerated to a level where this situation is no longer possible (this was b4 everyone and their dog had a blackmirrorpocketjew)

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1.
>Be 15, at FanExpo with best friend cosplaying as the Turks from FFVII, butt in line at registration and chat up 3 FFVII cosplayer girls as if we know each other, they're immediately dazzled by our bold little stunt
>smoothest, most organic way to sucessfully meet people; this was how teenagers met in the long, long ago of 2003 before smartphones and autism
>they're from the same town as us, so naturally our friend groups start blending together from then on
>we'll call the girl Tifa; 10/10, 2nd generation high-caste Punjabi so exotic features but familiar bubbly Canadian valley girl extrovertedness, tight and slender, caramel skin, intelligent, etc.
>year later get invited to Tifa's 16th b-day, Indian senpaitachi treat this like a royal event

>>34038057
2.
>fast forward to '06, we've all built a good, ecclectic, Breakfast Club-like group of friends

>just got out of shitty toxic relationship w/someone

>house party, first time I actually got drunk, sparks fly, Tifa and I start making out

>"I've been waiting for you to do that for so long, anon"

>weeks later, group hangout at her place (nice big suburb house), it gets late, her parents invite me to crash on the couch
>"anon, you don't understand, my parents would NEVER let anyone stay the night, they like you"

>parents and siblings asleep, we talk for hours sharing a big mickey of Malibu because it's her fave, commence furious snog session before she goes upstairs to bed

>next morning we get breakfast

>>34038059
3.
>another anime con in the spring, everything is amazing, this is really something special, life is a fun party

>we go back to an empty hotel room, more making out and cuddling...I totally dropped the ball and didn't continue and I can't even remember why, because she definitely wanted me to be her first time then+there

>in the summertime, another houseparty, I end up getting loaded; a complete siren decides to start undressing in my room while I'm right there, one-thing-leads‐to-another.jpg

>a couple days later, it turns out girls kiss&tell&gossip, because siren tells another girl who in turn tells Tifa I doinked someone else

>Tifa felt betrayed, I pleaded guilty, she didn't talk to me for a while...she went on to speak poorly of me to others.

>Reputation tarnished, ruined, all my fault
>Later in the summer (another con because our late teens and twenties were characterized by being filthy weeaboos) we kiss and make up, she apologizes for trash-talking me (justified) and all is better

>>34038063
4.
>October, she's a month into uni, myself and a couple of friends drive an hour away to visit her on campus

>I prepare in the car to man up and tell her that I'm ready to lock in with her

>Arrive at uni
>"Hi guys! Meet Tom!"
>...fuck.

There are no sadder words than "it should have and could have been". We met in a fun, unique way enjoying our interests during our high school years , got to know each other naturally, and it failed to launch because I had just prior gotten out of my first actual relationship (shitty and toxic, remember) so 18 year old me was thinking dick-wise one evening; but a couple of dumb broads just had to share secrets and capitalize on my mistake just for the sake of gossip.

I tried for a long time after that, but she rarely stayed single for more than a couple of months because she was such a catch (guys wanted her, girls wanted to be her) and I never could time it right. Even then, that guy she dated in uni turned out to be a dud she was dissatisfied with, I should have swooped in and snagged her away.

Either way, we're still friends to this day, which I should be thankful for; but even though we were barely out of high school at the time and now almost twenty years later, it's still a numb pain from time to time, just fantasizing about what was for so short a time, and what could and should have been.

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>>34037265
life over life and the same mistakes are repeated
but i believe in us anon. we can still find 1 non turboslut. it won’t be teenage feral fucking and all that but what can you do. maybe hop on trt.

>>34035766
Wtf why?

was fresh from the barber and really feeling well in my own body for once, walking through the city. a bunch of those bikes you can rent via app where laying on the edge of the street, bus hit them a bit, it made a ugly noise and sparks flew. waited a second for all the cars to pass and started pulling the bikes back on the sidewalk, struggled a bit because some of the bikes where snagged together. a really pretty blonde girl jogged towards me and helped me get the last few bikes of the road.
i said "thanks". she said "no, thank you!" enthusiastically with a bright smile. after a moment of silence i said something like "aight, have a nice day" and fucked off. a couple weeks later while showering i remembered that and just froze for a few seconds.

>>34035722
I shit myself once during a game of rugby.

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I ran a red light once and almost hit a girl riding her bike across the crosswalk
She screamed loud as fuck and I knew what I did as I was flying through the intersection. I just carried on driving home and sat down for a long time

>>34035722
I am Colombian, middle aged. When I was young I studied in Europe and fumbled multiple opportunities with beautiful girls, I remember especially a pretty American nurse at a party who was obviously giving me signals. I let these opportunities pass due to autism and insecurity.

Fumbled generational opportunities wih crypto multiple times as well

>>34039996
Die in hell, shitskin retard

>>34040058
I'm really not a shitskin, but I am retarded.

Entire thread is just “haha whoops lost all my money but somehow got it le back plus I had sooo much sex and now everything’s great!” Why even post? Go make a reddit account

>>34040146
>Columbian
>not a shitskin
Delusional beaner spics. I work withbsome mexicans and Venezuelans who all say the same thing. They're all bout 75 shades of brown darker than I, and I am not close to the lightest white person on the job. You fuckers are out of touchbwith reality.

>>34040160
My reddit account recently got banned because I said "dating a bi guy, stopped reading there"
One of my biggest fuckups was shouting "see you later my kin!" to my classmates as a little kid that didn't know what words were yet

>>34040171
ok bro

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>>34035722
Petty acts of saving face sadden me some -- more than embarrassing memories. Those I kick myself over once, swallow a twinge of anger, turn over in bed and sigh once.

It's the girls I didn't just candidly go up to and chat with.

There are only two steps to doing such a thing:
1) Premeditate matters that are especially interesting and meaningful -- which takes a pittance in plotting; days at most.
2) Go up and chat, and by God, have a laugh, even a dumb-awkward one.

The lesson I learned was don't be 'chill,' or 'cool' -- according to some temporary definition. A mindful-mellow wallflower is *nothing.*
Rather, it is only worth being dear, and devoted to what is good. Friendliness matters.

Skimping on the habit of friendliness as a teen, costed me in the past five Convid-19 years. I had to learn late. I still need to successfully lay down social-foundations and roots -- meaningful ties.

>>34038588
sunk cost fallacy. and I enjoy the day-to-day comforts, distracts me well enough.

>>34035722
last year I basically fumbled my oneitis who was basically begging me to ask her out lol

A friend of mine was being kicked out of his place because the owner was selling it. So I helped him by letting him rent a room at the place I'm renting. Three years later and due to a combination of personal factors and the state of the housing market, I am now stuck with him and I hate it. He's a good co-tenant in the sense that he keeps the place clean, and if anything, he does more housework than I do. But he's a fucking pain to be around. The lesson I have learned is to never help your friends, because it's not worth the punishment.