Trying to keep this one shortI kinda wasted my teenage years. No memories, no parties, no anything. Never had a teenage rebel phase because of abusive stepfather,No friend group either, probably the main reason why I missed out on all of this. All my friends have better friends who they rather spend time with.Always the weird kid. Probably undiagnosed autism, or maybe I'm just weird.Kinda also fucked over by circumstances. Pretty much always the wrong man, at the wrong place. So what now? I have no memories to look back on. Never got to be a "semi-adult" without worries.I never got to be a teenager and it kinda kills me. People always say the 20s will be it but I have no time for it. I want to leave my stepfathers household and in order to this I've got to work, sustain myself. No time for socializing. I just woke up one day and realized I'm a total loser.So what's in for the future? Coping? Getting over it?Only thing I see is working for 70 years and then die.
>>34039147This is the asking for advice boardNot the 18 year old midlife crisis and reddit spacing board
>>34039147It's time to start using drugs
>>34039147Teenagers are fucking retards, every single last one of them. And I'm saying this as a guy who had friends who had teenage sex who went to parties. It was all over hyped shit. All my teen friends have fucked off, all the teen romance broke off and they're exes now, complete strangers to me. The parties I can't even remember, alcohol and drugs dulls the senses and you can't tell which day of the week it is. You missed out on nothing, it didn't take away from my life, but it didn't add to it either. Because thanks to that I was too dumb and lazy to actually invest in my own future. No savings no education and no career. >People always say the 20s will be itSpoiler, it's not. In fact the twenties is arguably the worst decade you will ever experience in your entire life. It's right at the part where your brain hits 25 and it stops growing, stops maturing. All your cards in your deck are revealed to you and then you need to figure out who you are, what you want, and where do the pieces fit. You'll be hitting existential dread and it's always the decade of mental illness. You never noticed every single miserable loser who whines about depression and anxiety and mental illness is always someone in their 20s? It's cuz 20s fucking sucks. Your thirties are where the real game changers start happening. All of this shit you are experiencing is normal. If you are 18 - 21 you have only just begun adulthood. Do not expect to have your shit together only a year or three into it. Wealth, reputation, career, relationships marriage, family, skills, passions, whatever, all of it takes TIME to build. It takes a lot of time, decades of it. At 18 - 21 you will have close to nothing to your name. That's normal and how it's supposed to be and it's exactly why the 20s suck because you'll be aching over starting that shit. 30s is when you start beginning something real.
>>34039165i live in europe, have no connections
>>34039182Listen to this anon op.
>>34039182>Teenagers are fucking retards, every single last one of them. And I'm saying this as a guy who had friends who had teenage sex who went to parties. It was all over hyped shit. All my teen friends have fucked off, all the teen romance broke off and they're exes now, complete strangers to me. The parties I can't even remember, alcohol and drugs dulls the senses and you can't tell which day of the week it is. You missed out on nothing, it didn't take away from my life, but it didn't add to it either. Because thanks to that I was too dumb and lazy to actually invest in my own future. No savings no education and no career.>>People always say the 20s will be it>Spoiler, it's not. In fact the twenties is arguably the worst decade you will ever experience in your entire life. It's right at the part where your brain hits 25 and it stops growing, stops maturing. All your cards in your deck are revealed to you and then you need to figure out who you are, what you want, and where do the pieces fit. You'll be hitting existential dread and it's always the decade of mental illness. You never noticed every single miserable loser who whines about depression and anxiety and mental illness is always someone in their 20s? It's cuz 20s fucking sucks.>Your thirties are where the real game changers start happening.But aren't the teens to have fun. Exactly for this kind of scenario? in my 0s I'm a googoo gaga baby, in my pre-teens I'm, well a stupid kid, in my teens I have fun, my 20s will suck (according to you) and in my 30s, well what will I do then?Hang out with other 30 year olds? Discussing top 5 Huzz? Going to Chads party on friday to hook up with one of the hotties? I highly doubt you do that at 30 anymore (or older ages) and the adults I know are the most boring people I know. My stepfather for example. Sure they had their fun in their teens and now they fully grew up and well, settled down? That's what's bothering me. I never had a wild phase.
>>34039182>alcohol and drugsI sometimes get wasted with one or two of my friends (never at parties, I'm not worth it, I know) and it does suck, because you do have a headache on the next day, but that's not the point.I want to go to parties to meet new people. other people, maybe even some girls you know? And just talk, have fun, ya know?
>>34039206>But aren't the teens to have fun.Fun has no time restrictions. All that changes is the type of fun. As a teen I thought drinking and getting high was fun. Now when I see teens do it I genuinely think they're fucking losers.>and in my 30s, well what will I do then?I'm not a fortune teller so I don't know. What I do know is you'll actually give a shit about it whatever that is. You'll start developing passion. And passion so what happens when you find meaning or purpose in suffering, when you choose to work hard towards something hard because you want to because it means something. >Hang out with other 30 year olds? Discussing top 5 Huzz? Going to Chads party on friday to hook up with one of the hotties? I highly doubt you do that at 30 anymore I don't. And if you ever catch a 30-year-old doing that, you have found a 30 year old with the mind of a teen. Basically an emotionally stunted retard, avoid them.>Sure they had their fun in their teens and now they fully grew up and well, settled down?I actually feel like I'm having real fun for the first time in my thirties because the things I do now has actual impact, consequences and responsibility. What I do now actually changes my life and stuff around me. Drinking alcohol at a party just turns to smelly piss and goes down a toilet. No one will remember or care about party shit 10 years later.>That's what's bothering me. I never have a wild phase.Because you grew up too fast. And that happened because you had to, to survive your abusive step father. That's why you posted a picture of an old bearded wise man, because that's how you feel, right? You feel like life dragged on and you felt older and missed milestones that should have been yours? I'm giving you good news: You missed out on nothing important.
>>34039206>All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door.Do something now or all you'll have to show for it later is nothing and more regret. Anything else is a cope.
>>34039206>I didn't have as much fun as I thought I should have as a teenager therefore I should never do anything at all from now on
You’ve actually done what you are supposed to and used your teenage years to figure out that you need to do something with your life. Now you need to spend your twenties figuring out what you should do. Try to figure that out as early as possible but 28 by the latest. That’s not always realistic. I didn’t know what I should do with my life until I was 30, but 28 should be the goal. You’ve got to have experiences, see if you have talent, see if you like them, read, research, meet people, all that.
>>34039206>>34039219Oh and lemme tell you one more thing: Your life, hard and shit as it may feel with all the trauma and abuse and fear and pain and despair and everything, you gotta at least admit: At least it’s fucking interesting. At least your life tells a compelling story. Compare the two types of life:>Age 30 man, a late bloomer, held back by former grief and pain, was not raised through upbringing, was instead dragged mercilessly. Lost time and purpose, crawled inside his own head to survive, grew up too quick, went to his own personal hell and lost himself. Later resurrected from the fucking dead, sprung to life with hunger, started later but finally put his own pain to use, turned his suffering into a weapon to cleave a future for himself. Accrued wisdom and has now started to create his own paradise brick by brick from the debris of the cradle of hell he was born from.Vs.>30 year old man, got wasted and plastered and high bro lol remember the time he fell asleep in his own vomit at Brad’s 18th birthday party lol man what a hangover. And the other meaningless party wow what a hangover. And the other one? Hangover. And the other one? Hangover. Once upon a time, I got wasted, fell asleep on someones couch, woke up with a monster headache the end. Ask yourself which man sounds more interesting, more soulful, more interesting? Its man #1, easily, any day of the fucking week.
>>34039271Great movie, and thanks for writing it down for me, since I had no clue getting what they were saying watching it.>>34039285But they will come to this realisation sooner or later too? They will probably live the same boring life as I do, but with a fun intro.>>34039294Thanks anon, but sadly life isn't a novel. Hardly anyone will care about my past if I got nothing to show for in the present. If I want to laugh I'm going to watch a comedy movie. But this tragedy thing, it doesn't pay off.I'm also worried about my future with women too. The "one and only" isn't waiting for me to get thirty, and do the things you describe. I'll be her 7th and she'll be setting down with me.But still, thank you.
>>34039368>if I got nothing to show for in the present.That's where you come in and carve a present and future you deserve>I'll be her 7th and she'll be setting down with me.That's presumptuous, how bout you go out there and really take a look at the people around you instead of assuming they'll all be one archetype. Sure that archetype is of higher likelihood but that shouldn't stop you from searching and scanning and giving yourself a better chance to achieve a better more vindicated ending to your tragicomedy
>>34039368>But they will come to this realisation sooner or later too? They will probably live the same boring life as I do, but with a fun intro.So your logic is you'd rather not start at all because you had a late start compared to someone else?
I'm 50 and pretty sure I had awesome teenage years. But can't remember them, so none of this matters.
*taps the sign*
>>34039147The past does not determine the future,I had more of a life - social, romantic, intellectual, professional, sexual, etc - in my 20s than in my teens, and my 30s are shaping up to be even more life-filled and successful
>>34039409But will I catch up to them? And if I'm going to catch up, I'll have to do some shortcuts, wasting away years again to get something that is natural to other people.>>34040727But I'm never going to be a teen again. I missed out on everything that is natural to the average teenager. >It will come aroundThat's all I here. And even if it will, I don't get why I have to wait 15-20 years in purgatory for it come around. It's just not fair
>>34039182"It's right at the part where your brain hits 25 and it stops growing, stops maturing."And it's that part of the reply I stop reading.No seriously it's decent advice but "brains stop growing at 25" is some serious TikTok pop psychology. It doesn't mean you can act like a child or basedak at 26, but doesn't mean the development stops either. You can still learn new things and mold it.
>>34041180>I missed out on everything that is natural to the average teenager.Did you? Until XXth century, average teenager worked from morning to night and fucked some barely consenting women behind the barn. The "average teenager" is half-myth stemming from pop culture aimed at destroying your self-worth.Nothing is over. Get and start your life.
>>34041180>But will I catch up to them?You're making yourself schizophrenic and miserable thinking this way. One, comparison is the thief of joy, there is ALWAYS going to be someone better off than you for one reason or another and if you spend time obsessing over that fact instead of focusing on YOUR timeline instead of other peoples your life will pass you by. There are millions of people you're never going to catch up to because they had every advantage in life and there are billions of people you're ahead of by miles because they had shit and you have so much more than them. And two, there’s no universal schedule for life, everyone grows and matures and learns at different rates and that's okay. Life is not a video game speedrun where you're supposed to be finding the shortest line between two points constantly.
>>34039147>Always the weird kid.Always the wyrd kid is much better
>>34039147>Never had a teenage rebel phase because of abusive stepfatherI thought that was the prerequisite?>So what's in for the future? Coping?Probably all coping
>>34039147>>I just woke up one day and realized I'm a >>total loser.A sober awareness and assessment of your current condition is important. This is the first step towards correcting the situation. There is a window of opportunity in front of you. It depends on you which choice to make, which way to go. In addition, not all girls are successful, there are girls who lack a husband as a man support.
If you're asking >is it over.It's over. All the meme text you posted or the meme advice you'll get does not matter. The seeds of self-doubt have already poisoned your mind. People can overcome injury, abuse, and many other struggles, but only when they genuinely believe in themselves and their goals.
>>34039147>I've got to work, sustain myself. No time for socializing.Brother you're not working 80 hours a week and even if you were you can still socialize with co-workers.People are always posting the "I can't socialize because I have studies and/or work" cope.
>>34039182>In fact the twenties is arguably the worst decade you will ever experience in your entire life. It's right at the part where your brain hits 25 and it stops growing, stops maturing. All your cards in your deck are revealed to youA 25 year old wrote this.He probably writes in other threads about how he would never date 22 year olds because they're immature children in different life stages.
>>34041549>I thought that was the prerequisite?If I want to avoid daily fights with my stepfather, I rather keep a low profile.
>>34039147>No time for socializing.Socialise with co-workers, always take up opportunities when people invite you out, work the rest of the time, only go home to sleep.
>>34043918>always take up opportunities when people invite you outNobody ever invites me out.
>>34039147Unless you're a chad, 20s are the lamest period of life after middle school. You'll be an undersocialized loser for the most part of your 20s, that's just how it is. Your 30s will be better. If they won't be, then you can end it at 40.
>>34044541thanks anon, so another 10 years of purgatory
>>34039147>abusive stepfatherfirst problem>Probably undiagnosed autismprobably not>I've got to work, sustain myself. No time for socializing. Work 8 hours, sleep 8 hours, 8 hours for socializing.
>>34046794Nah, I've got pretty autistic interests too (trains) and being the weird kid has been a constant in my life.
