I’m in my mid-20s, and by no means live a shitty life. But there are times, more often than not, when I’ll feel like I’m doing something wrong. A lot of themes of adulthood are mucking about, but the one that has gotten me the most is that a majority of my friends are married or in long-term relationships.The last and only serious relationship I have been in was almost half a decade ago, back at the end of college. After that ended, I just did my own thing. I was going through some other shit, so I dedicated some years to getting back on my feet personally and professionally. I learned a lot from it, and I'm glad about that.Next thing you know, all these years have passed. While I’ve achieved what I set out to do, I get depressed at times because I feel that I missed the golden opportunity to develop something back in college or even high school. I see all my friends marrying their college girlfriends, even my old ex has been through more serious relationships after me, and sometimes I wonder how things would’ve gone if it were different back then. But then I realize it’s stupid to dwell on the past. I need to build something new and put in effort to put myself out there. Yet, I have a hard time finding something that matches that same spark I had back then. Perhaps it's just the loss of that novelty, or maybe I'm onto something. Rinse and repeat the cycle for the past handful of years. Most of the time, I resort to sticking to my own priorities. The right thing will come around someday. Though I fear that I’ll be one of those stories of the man who never married or settled for someone who is a shitbag, I don’t actually care about, which will lead to a shitty marriage or divorce. Maybe I’m just cooked, I missed my time. I’ve somewhat accepted that, and I think that's okayAny advice on what to do? Even just a story that might help lift me up.
I met my wife in my late 20s. We had known each other in college and had some mutual friends, but we never got too close. Years after college ended, I took on a new job in a new city. She reaches out to me, saying that she's in the area, and we meet up for lunch. Fast forward a couple of years, and now she's my wife. Maintain hope
>>34053126>I missed my timeyou can accomplish many great things in only a few months. It is a mindset thing. I know many acquaintances who are in a similar way of thinking- go live in some other country for a while and come back with a whole ass wife. When they told me for certain that they "missed the boat". No such thing. Its a matter of choosing to be a loser or not. The same concept with losing extra weight.>I resort to sticking to my own priorities. The right thing will come around somedaythere is nothing wrong with this and should be the default for men. You are a faggot if you prioritize your partner over your own goals. This mindset is what makes lethal men and what makes women attracted to them. If you can learn not to give a shit about women, they will inevitable come to you. But you also cannot lounge about- as men cannot wait until they are in their mid-40s to marry either. You ideally would want to be married around age 25.
>>34053560good thing you let her get her reps in with Chad and Tyrone in the meantime
>>34053575True. I think it's less tangible than losing weight, but I get what you mean. I actually remember being in a similar spot back in college, being burnt out with the casual dating and hookups, to the point I just dove into it, hooked up with a friend after a wine night, and that's how I ended up in my first serious relationship. I think the biggest thing now is no longer being in that demographic and having to reassess my game plan. Especially in my area, it's really not a good dating pool. I'm looking forward to moving within the year.I think I'm at this crossroads now, too. I've already put in the work to get myself in a good spot, and I want to set myself up to settle down in the near future (3-5 years). Back at my previous location, I befriended some single 30-year-olds, and it scared me. I don't want to be like that.
everyone has different timelines. some getting married. some in relationships. some single. some never been in a relationship. as long as you think youre doing fine, I think youll be fine
It's joever for you
>>34053575Im past 25 so I don't really care about "ideals", i just want to finish getting my shit together
>>34053126you need to understand that there is an end to it allwatch this movie and it will change your life>>>{ENTER THE VOID}
>>34053126I found myself feeling this way before. The monotony of things and kinda losing your mind thinking there's no hope, not necessarily unhappy with being single, but more or less wondering when the next phase of your life is going to occur, you know. But then you meet someone at a random party, and next thing you know, most of your questions have been answered.
Nobody's stressed like a 20 year old who thinks they're running out of time, this is a common phenomenon. It's quite natural to feel this way, ten years ago society saw you as a child, and ten years from now feels like the end of time based on that time frame. But relax some, you may have several decades on hand and many well remembered people lived twice the time you have before they did anything they were remembered for. Earnest Hemingway was in his 40's with several failed marriages and religious conversions behind him before publishing "For Whom the Bell Tolls".Minor note to be very careful who you accept electroconvulsive therapy from, and should you feel the desire to hunt Nazi uboats from a fishing boat named after a woman you are no longer married to, inform a therapist of this.Consult with the Hellenist concept of Eros, there are many forms of love, obsession and wandering among them. Go out, leave home if you must. See and learn all that you can. Some would say that the point of life is to find what you live and let it kill you, and lacking this is very stressful. Go and find it.
>>34055203OP here. I agree, I keep having to remind myself of that. I'm in between the two worlds of being a young adult and an adult, which is confusing as all hell. I think I'm fixated on this "standard" that others seem to have around me, getting married early and all that. I mean, even my parents met in college, and I kind of went into college thinking the same would happen to me. I've somewhat adopted the Eros mentality, especially right after college. I felt stuck between the lingering relationship/social fallout, professional stagnation, and burnout, and ended up joining the military. Ever since, I've travelled the continent and become obsessed with study and getting better at my trade. It's been a good thing to chase so far, and my quality of life has improved compared to how I felt when I felt aimless. But especially after completing the bulk of my training and getting ready for another life transition, I've been reevaluating how I want the trajectory of my life to go and what I can do to control it.
I definitely get that feeling. Losing that opportunity with that first girl, feeling like you're behind and all that. But. Everyone lives different lifes. You're not behind, just where you need to be
>>34054487what is this movie
