i have been resurging on 4chan for the last 4 years. i got into desensitizing gore, power through proper hatred.now when i go to community college i : fear that i could sound out the word "rape" with my footsteps - then i hyperfocus on it, taking little losses of composure along the way - then i take falls, at least 3 times recently feeling a drop below baseline. its this weird battle where i know i have a sense of humor in this all and yet i get gobsmacked by these god damn dynamics of "what if i said something weird right now OH GOD WHAT IF I SAID the worst imaginable shit,and frequently I DO unfortunately. its pretty bad out here.
>>34055052If you cannot control your own brain, who can? You sound like you are making excuses for your mind to keep fidgety. Who is the boss, you or your brains?
>>34055052ERP therapy really helps with intrusive thoughts. I used it with my intrusive thoughts and they stopped bugging me.
>>34055052>i could sound out the word "rape" with my footstepsIn Morse code?
>>34055052>>34055254I started practicing ERP and started taking NAC about a week ago and my OCD is like 90% gone. I still get intrusive thoughts but they don't hit as hard so I exhibit far fewer compulsions. It's really crazy how I've suffered for so long because of these thoughts that don't have to have any control over me. I really think the NAC has fundamentally changed how my brain operates on the synaptic level. And this is just after a week. An additional 90% reduction in thoughts and compulsions would render this a complete non issue for me.My compulsions can be very bad. Like blurting out profanity and slurs. Kind of like tourretic coprolalia but not quite the same thing. I haven't said the word nigger out loud in like 3 days. I still have some vocal outbursts under my breathe but they have been far less vulgar.
