I'm noticing that I am turning into a hateful and resentful person who usually does not let slights or grudges go. I am self aware enough to know that it comes from my retard father beating the shit out of me throughout my childhood and me being a dumb child being too scared to tell other grown ups about this and now I feel like I will NEVER live a fulfilling life if I do not get my revenge in some sort of way. Now im not gonna do anything stupid or illegal thats going to ruin my life because its not worth it. Luckily for me the old bastard is in his 60s and has type 1 diabetes and has lately been complaining about extremely poor vision and tingling sensations in his feet and arms due to nerve damage needing constant massages of his feet to help with the sensation. I did some research and there are decent odds he will probably get some sort of amputation within my lifetime. Also taking into account the random abcess pocket he got this year on his back near his kidney that he is STILL recovering from 3 months later due to his diabetes slowing the healing down.I feel kinda guilty that I am enjoying this and want to better myself. I don't want the hatred to consume my life while he is still around, im pretty sure it will be gone when he finally kicks the bucket though due to diabetes.
>>34056862I think the key with hatred is release.Either act on your hatred or let go of it but don't sit on it.
>>34056862I think the path to enlightenment is an endless staircase that requires taking one appropriate step after another, but over time walking up the stairs can become an ingrained habit. Or something.
>>34056862Have you ever told anyone sympathetic about the abuse? Just saying it outloud and have it acknowledged can lessen its hold
>>34056862What goes around comes around
This is a normal American parent
>>34056862
