How can i learn to like myself based on what others say about me instead of what i think of myself?The friends i have like me and a few weeks ago i was drunk and talked about my self loathing and was promptly gushed over by like 4 of my friends, and then later un prompted a friend said hed really rather have me as a roommate than his long time friend. And then other miscellaneous times when i could tell they liked me a good deal. But when im alone i often just dwell on my own personal failures that i hold over myself, that probably dont matter as much as i think they do, or ill dwell on a little thing i messed up with, and it often drags me down into this pit of misery that lasts for a long time and can even ruin me socially.
The world gives you feedback. Interpret it properly. Get out of your head more and think of yourself less. Nigger you just said you had 4 friends. How many do you think the average person has? And for them to properly support you instead of dunk on you, or respond sarcastically is something else. Don't wallow to your friends again though. You don't want to become that guy. Just keep behaving in whatever ways has made these people appreciate you. Remember, no one else can hear or tell what's going on in your head. Don't sweat so much about a non issue
>>34058449You have noticed that ‘internal perception of my self le bad’ and ‘external perception of myself le good’ and come to the rather quick conclusion that you should be focussed on what the world thinks of you rather than what you think of yourself which is incredibly backwards because one day the majority of people you know might hate your guts for whatever reason. Allowing external factors to dictate your self worth is like jumping into a calm looking river that later down the line could very well become a tumultuous rapid that bashes you against the rocks. Your own internal self worth is the only defence mechanism against these rocks and jumping into the river without any is a terrible idea. One way or the other, the way forward here is developing self worth without using your friends as a crutch- at least not entirely- because as is the impermanence of life and all of its comings and goings; they might not be there some day.
>>34058620>and come to the rather quick conclusion that you should be focused on what the world thinks of you rather than what you think of yourselfWhich he should because he is clearly trapped in a self-hating vicious cycle otherwise. What goes on inside your head isn't always correct, in fact it's often wrong.>which is incredibly backwards because one day the majority of people you know might hate your guts for whatever reasonPeople don't start hating you for random reasons. There are very clear reasons why and you can fix them. Meanwhile you can start hating yourself for very stupid reasons that have no basis in reality.
>>34058449Ur probably unhealthy. Improve your diet (Ben Greenfield) and you'll start to feel that hope from when you were a child again no joke.
>>34058449>How can i learn to like myself based on what others say about me instead of what i think of myself?I've actually been thinking about the answer myself for quite a while and I think I have a hit. The way is not to get your worth from other, but the way is not too get your worth from yourself either. The true way, the real real way, is to take actions upon yourself, not words or thoughts, but actual actions, to take care of yourself and your environment physically.By treating yourself as if you're important, and spending a lot of time nurturing you - you're tricking your own stupid ape brain into thinking and believing that you're actually important, that you're actually a prize, that you're actually someone that others should give a fuck about and appreciate your presence. Suddenly, many problems are solved, as you find out that you're less affected by others because you know you're worth it, you feel confident in going out alone and throwing yourself into social situations because you know that you're there, and while you're there - nothing can go wrong.It sounds silly, but you discover a best friend, a confidant, and a bodyguard within yourself. You're a companion to yourself. And because you're you - you're always there.This is extremely healthy, and so, this is my answer to you. I haven't read the rest of the thread, just that question, I'm hoping this helps :)
>>34059813This is actually super helpful advice. And i do end up feeling good when i get myself things and do things for myself. Often times im just real lazy and do nothing so i guess thats time for feeling to crawl out. Thanks anon
