-vacation with family/visited other part of family abroad and helped them building a new shed or xyz
-traveling with family
-traveling/living abroad/social year, where you help out in diverse social programs (but that would require at least some sort of document, for example anon helped at the railway missionm, signed)
-u are rather uncomfortable abt telling this, but your dad is a doctor and you helped him out on his Doctors Without Borders- thing in ukraine, but please keep it to yourself (high gamble, they can reach out to ur dad and they will think highly of you, that you at least can lay a catheter, apply a bandage, ect basic stuff and a word or so russian/ukrainian)

>you had health issues and it took time to resolve them, but now you are all heald up and good again.
this is tactically the best one, because they are not allowed to ask you what you have because medical info, thats private. they can however ask you if the disability or unjury you "had" impedes your work there.
wild because where i am from, they dont give a shite what youve done b4. they only care if you got your documents and numerus clausus/not a danger to society and thats about it.

>telling people I do IT stuff online
do you have an alibi to back that up? if not, your priority is to fabricate a plausible alibi right now.

>>34059188
Figure out a small buisness/project thign you could arguably say you did and say you did that

>>34059476
>telling people I do IT stuff online
>do you have an alibi to back that up?
well, for employers I do have my university enrollment. I took some computer science classes. What I tell people personally is that I do some contracting bullshit online that I started as a student job but kept after I left university. Since it's "contracting" the best I could do is put down some "clients" (random obscure international corpos I came across) and hope they don't get called up. If it's a bar gig I like to think they wouldn't. I'm also going to freeze my WorkNumber account

>health issues
I guess that would work for employment but honestly I'm not sure. I'm a white guy in a small-ish town in the the southern US I'm supposed to always be doing something for labor and not be a pussy. If I show up to a bar asking about a job and give vague answers about "health issues" but also insist I'm totally healthy and competent to do the job I think I'm just gonna get raised eyebrows.

For my university you're supposed to humiliate yourself on these short essay questions on the form on your "personal circumstances" so nothing is really off limits. In one of them I actually talked about my dad abusing me making me fuck up at university, that's not even a lie, but I didn't go into specifics because I felt humiliated enough.

>>34059476
>-u are rather uncomfortable abt telling this, but your dad is a doctor and you helped him out on his Doctors Without Borders- thing in ukraine, but please keep it to yourself (high gamble, they can reach out to ur dad and they will think highly of you, that you at least can lay a catheter, apply a bandage, ect basic stuff and a word or so russian/ukrainian)
funny thing about this, I actually seriously considered going there in 2022 since i was out of university at that time too and had no prospects. The war there really hit me due to some family connections. But I managed to get back into university in 2023 and the first party I went to when I was back (I never went to a lot) a girl became convinced I actually went there because of my mysterious demeanor even though I denied it. She dragged me back to her place and made out and she even told me to fuck her but I didn't because I was a virgin and didn't know how to

anyway yeah no chance of that

>vacation with family/visited other part of family abroad and helped them building a new shed or xyz
I actually do have family abroad and an uncle who passed recently. Maybe I could say I was helping him live. I feel kinda bad about using the death of an uncle I didn't know well at all to help me with something but whatever.

>>34059485
>Figure out a small buisness/project thign you could arguably say you did and say you did that
"I coded for an open source video game for 2 years but I wasn't paid." best I can do.

>>34059524
lie you stupid nigger

>>34059502
>university enrollment. I took some computer science classes
well, time to fabricate some programs, scripts, code in general then, or, what cs class ppl do. maybe, have a program/script code/PRODUCT that you could show off, for optics at least. ai might help you create some believable optics.
>hope they don't get called up
>(phone gets taken up somewhere) eelllloo saar this is john from michaelsoft binbows, how can i help you? anon from USofA? yeees, he sure worked for us. evidence? pleas gib credit card code to proceed, saar.
keeeeek
well, thats a gamble again.
>eyebrows
they can raise their brows to the stars if they want, for all you care.
your objective is to be as plausible and believable/confident in what u say as possible and, IF they ask for evidence or proof, you already prepared believable alibi(s) b4hand
but i see what you mean....
>supposed to humiliate yourself
wild stuff. i would not humiliate myself, not for money even.
i always tell them "thats confidential" "iam not authorized to make statements about xyz" "i prefer to not answer this question" "this makes me uncomfortable ect"

>>34059524
>because of my mysterious demeanor
hoooo? please elaborate what you meant by this?
>I actually do have family abroad and an uncle who passed recently. Maybe I could say I was helping him live. I feel kinda bad about using the death of an uncle I didn't know well at all to help me with something but whatever.
thats a promising excuse.
>anon goes abroad to his uncle, helping him live. as soon he returns, his uncle dies.
what a great job at helping him live. 10/10 would want you to help taking care of me. NOT. kek.
jkjk yeah. so even if they ask for proof, you can show them the death certificate.
>feel bad
hmm maybe its because you are lieing tru your teeth? im not advocating for lieieng? infact, you always should say the truth. but you wanted advice, so.

>>34059571
trying my best but I'm only so bold and unscrupulous
>>34059573
> have a program/script code/PRODUCT that you could show off
for the jobs I'm trying to get that's a non-issue, not trying to get a career job
for university I wouldn't need that I think because i'm going for the whole "I was busy with other pressing matters" angle. Besides the whole point is to be able to get somewhere in a few weeks, not a timeframe where I can genuinely make some shitty code product
>wild stuff. i would not humiliate myself, not for money even.
That's what the college system is in a lot of ways, at least in the US.
>because of my mysterious demeanor
>hoooo? please elaborate what you meant by this?
basically I'm tall and lean and that night i wore dark angsty clothes (black turtleneck, dress boots) and leaned into an earnest but light-hearted persona, and kept details on my life to a wistful minimum. It was easy and genuine because I was actually in a place I didn't want to be and was coming back to a promising place after a lot of personal struggle. I remember talking a lot about being gone for 3 years and having just come back to school.

If you're trying to get laid all I'll say it was a night that played to my strengths. People I went to high school with look back and tell me I always came across as serious to them, even though I think of myself as a joker. I have dark rings around my eyes and very angular facial features that are somewhat unusual for where I live because of my ethnic background. I play the outsider well because I am one. Don't worry though, my good luck didn't last so long, and I didn't get invited into many more parties, though romantically I did end up involved in a low-commitment romantically-serious relationship with a girl a few years younger than me, as is the fashion of our age, a fate many men hope for, but left me unsatisfied due to my arrested development and lack of affection from the opposite sex during a crucial formative period

>>34060087
this reads like you are my doppelganger almost 1to1, even the small details. eeeeeerie bro
>i too am a vampire
anyway anon, keep your spirits up and be confident in yourself and what you do
gl

>>34059188
"I needed time off for health & personal reasons, but it's all resolved now"
bam, done. No need to constantly live a lie.

Employers just want to know if you were or weren't in prison, basically.

Any other lie is you digging a hole.
>oh I went to this country to do that thing
>OH WOW I'M FROM THE SAME COUNTRY, DID YOU SEE THE FAMOUS LOCAL THING? HOW ABOUT THE FAMOUS LOCAL MAN? LET'S TALK IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE

or one day someone will be like "hey anon, what was it like when you did that thing in that place" and you'll have completely forgotten that you totally lied about and you'll say "I have no idea what it is you're talking about"

t. former compulsive liar.

>>34060144
>Employers just want to know if you were or weren't in prison, basically.
Thanks that's reassuring

I will say though I can actually talk in said native language and talk about some famous local man if I use my parents' country lol

>>34059188
jobs are gotten by kickbacks, favors, nepotism, and physical attraction not the stupid shit you write on a paper. Also i'm quitting this website if these captchas stay like this

>>34061115
we don't need your pessimistic blackpill cuckoldry anyways

>>34061115
>puerile cynicism
Grow up.

>>34061115
I actually do have a nepostistic connection for once in my life, in the info science department of my university, so if I go back there I'm basically guaranteed an internship. That's part of why I want to go back so bad