When I was about 11 years old, I noticed, on a subconscious level as I couldn't admit it to myself at the time, that I had real difficulty connecting with others. None of the jokes I made ever really hit, and my interests hardly aligned with any other boys (if, in fact, I had any real interests). I was a fair bit ahead of my peers academically, however, after this realisation I gradually gave up on everything. I tried to make friends, but ended pissing them all off, and tried to get with a couple of girls but ended up creeping them out. This happened around age 14 and years later I am still overcome by shame to the point where I don't even want to leave the house. I haven't put effort in to a single thing since then. Not an exam in school, neither a platonic nor romantic relationship, not even keeping a job. My apathy only worsened as I became more acutely aware of this. I ended up dropping out of HS and going abroad to join the military, and I did well during basic. Despite the congratulations from my superiors and peers and the fact that a good few people considered me their friend by that point, all I could think to myself was, "When the fuck can I get out of here?". After the final ceremony I terminated my contract, went back home and blocked everyone from my time there. That period of my life helped me realise that not even achievement could make me happy. As of now, I have zero desire to maintain any friendships, I have no hobbies, zero drive to pursue women. >tldr: I'm probably autistic and have no passion for anything. Do I just kill myself or what?
have you tried all 31 Basken Robbins Ice Cream flavors...if NO...then don't kill yourselfkeep playing the game anon, you'll figure it out
