I am 6'6", 130lbs. Everything about me is ghoulish. My arms are shoestrings. My neck is long, white and bent. My shoulderblades jut like chicken bones. My teeth are crooked and yellow. My eyes never smile. I was meant to be an extra in a Poe, or Lovecraft, or Ligotti story. A blemish in a paragraph full of grotesquerie; not the Thing itself, but a symptom of its malign influence.Ever since I was a child, all I've wanted to be is a thing. A creature. A weird, emaciated wastrel who haunts unfrequented corners; who only exists at night; who dresses in tarnished finery; who keeps odd company; whose head is full of dreams and rambling poetry. I am in love with authors who are long dead and out of print and who themselves seemed to romanticize their misery. I don't care about careers, or relationships, or happiness. It pains me that words like Starbucks, or Instagram, or Lululemon occupy any mental real estate whatsoever. I don't want to excise myself from society. I want to be a part of it. But I want to share my vision of myself - and the maudlin, made-up world inside my head - with society, and hopefully invite people to take part in this dream I've been dreaming. This is a broad, weird ask, but can anyone give me advice on how to do that? Or how to find my place in the world?
>>34066097>I am 6'6", 130lbs. Everything about me is ghoulish.>I am in love with authors who are long dead and out of print>But I want to share my vision of myself - and the maudlin, made-up world inside my headBrother with powers like these I'd get a different alt chick every day of the year. Go dress like Marilyn Manson and go pump zoomer nu-scene or goth revival pussy
>>34066122I think you're envisioning me with gaunt cheekbones and vampirish good looks. I look like a starving rat with mange. Having said that, I have enjoyed my time with dramatic girls who have a flair for the macabre - although a lasting relationship isn't in either of our constitutions. I think what I liked best about those times was the sense of sharing my vision with another, and inhabiting it together. I wish I could experience that on a larger scale.I live in white picket fence suburbs. Which, as you can imagine, is stifling for someone like me.
