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how do i speak in tongues?

the bible says ask and you shall receive. everyone around me speaks in tongues and gets whatever they want, completely unintelligible, while i speak clearly and am ostracized and blackballed. whats the magical combination of "words" to get whatever i want???

how do i speak in tongues?
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>>34066616
cannot be taught
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>>34066619
you take me for fool?
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>>34066621
ok, here are the three simple steps to speaking in tongues:

1. Reach self actualization / Enlightenment
2. Become one with the universe
3. Open your mouth
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>>34066616
Read "The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind", which covers this topic pretty thoroughly.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0618057072/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Origin_of_Consciousness_in_the_Breakdown_of_the_Bicameral_Mind
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>>34066616
>how do I speak in tongues?
Like this:

HeEeerrhBurghlubluchakaakataaahAAuuuHHHLooo Erghbrrllrlguh Sheeemaashumek Sheeemashimek HUAARRAHHhhhloooo


Speaking in tongues is 99% heretical since 99% of people who “speak” it are performing and LARPing. It’s a real thing that happened in the bible to just a select few disciples, but no one knows how it sounded or what was said. Theologically it is possible for humans to speak it, but its extremely rare and no prominent legitimate cases of it have turned up.

Except the weird pentecostal/protestant Americans who somehow speak it as easy as ordering a Big mac. Prob the same people who claimed to have seen a UFO. Ignore them, theyre lunatics. God gives gifts that have actual usefulness, like strength, like courage, like wisdom, virtue, and long-suffering. Pray for those.
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>>34066689
>who somehow speak it as easy as ordering a Big mac
They do it this >>34066672 way.
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>>34066616
No such thing. Speaking in tongues means someone speaking a real language they do not know/someone magically understanding what a foreign language means.
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>>34068737
>>34066689
>>34066627
>>34066619
bots or purposefully misunderstanding the point, bad actors.
>>34066672
useful, thank you, this is what i was looking for.
>>
>>34066616
Practice makes perfect. Look up documentaries and tips online. Try to learn more sounds from more languages. Avoid repetitious patterns.
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>>34066616
>everyone around me speaks in tongues and gets whatever they want
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>>34068782
>bots or purposefully misunderstanding the point, bad actors.
I think the message they're trying to get across is that speaking in tongues is performative religious nonsense. There is no secret holy language. Its just a bunch of people in a church playing make believe.
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>>34066616
you'd have to take mind-altering drugs that no longer exist.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MPHyR92MQic
>>
Stop being autistic
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>>34066672
Garbage book that reduces humans to mere animal creatures. Written almost entirely using speculation.
>>34068782
You're too retarded to know what you're looking for
>>34066689
>>34068812
Basically this. The goo goo ga ga gobbledygook that those evangelical and born again ministers and the like do is just LARPing
Personally, I never thought "speaking in tongues" meant glossolalia, I always interpreted it as being able to speak in languages, real languages, you never learned by the gift of the Holy Ghost, in order to convert foreigners in other lands to the Church, i.e. you're speaking the "tongues" of new converts. Many prominent scholars of the Church including St. Thomas Aquinas agree with my interpretation.
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>>34069270
This doesn't even need to be interpreted and idk how the hell evangelical """""christians""""" understand it to mean retard drooling noises
>And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language.
READ nigga READ
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>>34066616
>how do i speak in tongues?
Become a fucking liar. Cause tongues are not gibberish. Anyone that speaks gibberish is a liar.
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>>34066616
>how do i speak in tongues?
As others have said, there is no such thing. The phrase originates in the Bible, where it refers to the apostles understood in dozens of languages simultaneously. That obviously never happens; it's impossible.

The phrase is now normally used to describe when a person suddenly starts spouting non-verbal gibberish. Most people who do this are faking it: they're just deliberately making word-like noises that have no meaning. You can do that too if you want to, but why bother?

In a case where someone is unusually suggestible, they may *feel* as if what is happening is involuntary; and this can happen in a group of people as a form of mass hysteria; but it is still meaningless gibberish. It's not something to aspire to.
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>>34070129
>That obviously never happens; it's impossible.
This statement is unscientific. You can't say something cannot happen just because you haven't personally seen it. The brain is capable of some crazy shit sometimes.
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>>34070319
I'm saying it can't happen because NO ONE has ever seen it. Occam's Razor means it makes no sense to believe that such a thing is possible. For it to be possible almost everything we know about language and the human brain would have to be wrong. If you are going to make unfalsifiable claims that fly in the face of all scientific knowledge, the burden of proof is on you, not on the sceptic. (See also, Russell's Teapot).



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