I had a conversation with one of my friends about a topic that I didn't even tried to think about, my "fear" for men, it was strange for me to see him referring to it in such way since I just feel like im a complicated person for relationships. he pointed out that there are things that are keeping me away from fulfill some holes inside of my life.I never had a problem with guys, although im constantly awkward in front of them and I have mostly girls friends around my whole life, just 2 years ago I started to interact with more male friends and never got a problem with them, although I prefer not to have physical contact it just makes me feel uncomfortable, I've had bad experiences with the guys that I dated or tried to date me, I can't find irl boyfriends that can actually made me stay with them because it somehow gives me the ick, in my last "relationship" he kept touching me in a way that I didn't liked at all, even if I tell him multiple times to stop, even if he said to me that it was fine that no one cared I couldn't help but feel gross at myself for not standing at loud.We just graduate a couple weeks ago and somehow I just feel like me being complicated had fucked so many things, it just feels like I can't stand being in a relationship, the guys that I've meet either rush a lot and makes me feel like im being used, or they are incredibly boring, most of my friend already had their first time and have cool relationships but I just realized that im the only one that is starting college as a Virgin and single person, it just makes me feel like this whole thing is affecting me somehow and I never even considered that I was even scared of men, they just make me feel uneasy and is weird because I've had crushed before, I feel sexually attracted to them and just like any other I wish to be successful in my career, find a good men, get married and start a family before turning 30, now I just feel like everyone is going to get that except me.
>>34069094Maybe you just date the wrong men?
>>34069094Disregard males. Become fujoshi.Don't lower your standards.
>>34069233I agree with you, most of the guys that I've dated were gross, but this pattern repeats and makes me wonder if im th problem instead of them
>>34069094>male friends and never got a problem with them, although I prefer not to have physical contact it just makes me feel uncomfortableIf you are attractive, then your intuition is telling you that by hugging a guy friend, you are giving him romantic/sexual "service" eg. he will enjoy it in a romantic way (which is taboo but true except if the girl is unattractive). Why are other girls fine with it then? Either they just accept it (why can't you?) or are unaware of it (you are hyperaware of it?)Or, you visibly are giving off a sexual vibe or sexual discomfort signals which makes things weird for the guy as well. >I've had bad experiences with the guys that I dated or tried to date meYou are filtering in/out the wrong guys somehow. Only the abusive jerks are brave enough to approach you, while the good guys are too afraid to hurt you = boring. Maybe you need to choose a guy and take initiative yourself, or encourage a guy of the boring type to be more forward.>makes me feel like im being used, or they are incredibly boringUnless it's the filter, every guy on the planet fall in either of these categories seems unrealistic, meaning you are having some kind of complex. What if you like being used and that's why guys who don't do it are boring?I'm gonna say it straight, most animal species and with humans in there's tons of predator/prey "using" and it's hard-wired to us, and turns many women on. The fact that we think it's bad now is unprecedented. Did you get indoctrinated into the common ideology where men are users and bad?There are shades of grey to it, like a courting ritual, a game, which both of you can influence, for example a guy might not respond to a soft no but would stop to a loud, violent hard no. If you find yourself only giving soft no's, maybe it's because you subconsciously like it? But the complex is ruining the experience.Just a potential explanation that comes to mind. In the end you decide what you want.
