Me and my bf have been together for almost 7years now, and about a year ago he told me he wanted to try a cuckquean scenario in which he got fucked by a man, ans I watched/participated to some degree. I told him I sometimes fapped to some bi cuck/cuckquean porn but ever since we talked about it, I can't get it out of my head, and I feel as though it will be the biggest mistake of my life. He told me that he believes he might have an existential crisis if he doesn't try it, so there is no point in me trying to achieve any kind of compromise or ultimatum, since he can just cheat behind my back. Furthermore, he has said he would strongly prefer to do it with me present. I don't know what to do however. The more I think about it, the less I like it, and I keep thinking about how in a poly/cuck scenario, one of the partners is much more for it than the other, and the other just sort of goes along. I'm not even sure what's the point of us trying it together if I have all these second thoughts already before even trying it. I feel like I'm fucked either way-we try it and I don't like it and I dont trust him because he can just keep doing it without me, or we don't try it and I dont trust him anyway because he can try it behind my back.But the sunk cost fallacy is really hitting here. 7 years of my life and the only man I have ever loved and had sex with, I even told him that my greatest fear is my man leaving me after having kids because he cheats/is gay, the worst being he cheats because he is gay. And then he tells me he wants to get fucked by a guy and that he might be bisexual. We are finally planning to move in together in half a year, and I don't know if the fact we have been together for so long and haven't moved in yet, isn't some kind of universal sign that it isn't meant to be. I don't want to live with him just to eventually try his fantasy and realise I can't be with him/trust him anymore and then move out back to my mom. I'd rather fucking die.
Saying he needs to be with someone else or he will have a existential crisis is enough that the relationship is over imo.
>>34069254Just leave, it's over. Even if you might have a small fantasy that's past briefly about having a three-way, you should learn from other people's experience that it never goes well. Someone ends up completely fucking miserable. If he's willing to say this to you openly that he wants to do it, that means he's already doing it behind your back and he just wants your permission. Worse, he's trying to guilt trip you by saying that if you don't let him do this, he might become dangerous. He might hurt himself or maybe even someone else. You have to sit in the cog chair and watch him get fucked up the ass. You have to or else. Yeah, right? Leave him. If it makes you feel better, leave at a time when he's at work or somewhere else for an extended period of time and make sure he comes home to an empty house. Change your phone number that very day. Change everything. Disappear from his life.
>>34069254Well you're both men so it shouldn't be any surprise to you that your boyfriend is gay
>>34069280He says he *might* have one, that he can't be sure, and that he doesn't want to be 70 and full of regrets over what he hadn't triedBut he doesn't seem to mind how conflicted I am about it, or that I generally trust him less.He expects me to watch him get fucked by another man, and yet he refused to go to the cinema with me to watch a movie made by a director he can't stand. Makes perfect sense.
>>34069289He does this because he’s a trash human being and you let him. No sane person puts up with shit like this, his dick can’t be that good.>You have to let me get fucked in the ass in front of you or I might have an existential crisisWhat the actual fuck is this even? If a girl told me this I’d never talk to her again. Even if we’d been married 25 years, I’d literally walk out of the room and run away to another country.
>>34069297Im afraid to leave him. He is the only man who ever noticed me and saw past my flaws (and I have some obvious physical ones, I can't even wear makeup). And I spent 7 years of my life with him. I can't move from home alone and I fucked my education, I didn't finish uni. I might as well an hero.
>>34069305You gotta figure out some independence. I’m sure it’s not that bad, if you’ve been with this dude for 7 years you don’t know what it’s like to be a single woman in 2025. It’s a lot better than you probably think.You cannot rely on this dude though, he’s going to suck your soul out and dump you somewhere. He has zero respect for you.
>>34069285This is good advice, OP. Your marriage seems to be over, sadly.
>>34069366We aren't married yet. We have been together for 7 yrs, soon finally moving in (the rents here are too expensive and we wanted a house). We talked children, marriage, etc. I don't want it to be over though. He is my first and only bf, I can't imagine ever loving someone like this again :(
>>34069305He's blackmailing you, because he wants his ass railed by a man. C'mon. This guy is done. He's not the person that you remember, anymore. You have to cut your losses. I'm sorry OP that this happened to you. I've been in a similar spot.
>>34069376Listen honey, just because he's your first doesn't have to make him your only. He's a piece of shit, and eventually he's going to leave you for someone else or continually drag you through the mud. Do you really want to be pregnant with his child while he's getting rammed up the ass by some dude, potentially bringing diseases home to you? Again, if he's doing this to your face, saying that he needs to let other men have sex with him or else he might kill himself or be miserable, he is essentially saying he can never have a happy life with you unless he has literal twink side pieces or big gay bears. You are not enough. You are not good enough. He also specifically wants you to watch. He wants to humiliate you. Get the fuck out of there. Even better, you don't live together. You're free. You can just change your phone number and get a cheap studio apartment somewhere a bit further from your home. Go move in with some of your female friends. That'll help you escape. Way easier. Just disappear if you don't want to see him and that'll be too hard. This is a sunk cost fallacy. Just because you've invested a lot of hopes and dreams and years into this man does not mean that you have to settle for this piece of shit for the rest of your life.
>>34069376>I don't want it to be over though.I relate. I did not want it, either. But if you do not cut your losses and end it, he'll escalate it and cheat. Think of yourself. You do not deserve this pain.>He is my first and only bf, I can't imagine ever loving someone like this againYea, I've been there, too. Sadly, you can only decide between bad and worse. Be honest with yourself, OP.
>>34069254Your boyfriend wants to cheat on you, with another man, while you watch, and have you said that this is okay. Tell him to fuck off in the strongest possible terms. Tell him you will never be okay with him fucking someone else, and if he wants to, he has to break up with you first. Don't let him bully or manipulate you.> We are finally planning to move in together in half a yearGood God, you should have been married at least 4 years ago! This relationship is going nowhere and never will.
>>34069379>>34069383>>34069393 His rationalization is that it's just a fetish, something to try out, that he might even end up mot liking or hating it, but that he wants to try. He says he isn't attracted to men romantically, but since he is at least considering having sex with one, he must be bi (which kind you, I didnt know at the start ofc...)
>>34069518You still are not picking up what's being put down. While in a seven year relationship with you, he's been obsessively thinking about having sex with someone else, with a lot of other people actually, and he's been thinking about making you watch him have sex with somebody else. Not just any one either. He's been thinking about dudes. He's been so obsessed with it that instead of keeping this in some fantasy he jerks off to on nights he doesn't see you, he actually brought it up to you. He's actually put you into an uktimatum where either you agree or he blows up the relationship. He is trying to force you into an adulterous, cuckold relationship. Do you really think since you don't live together that he's been completely loyal to you that he's never actually had sex with other men while in a relationship with you? Do you really think that this just ate him for so long until he had to formally ask you or do you think he's been having sex with men and he really wants to make you watch? That he wants to stop having to hide it and just make it easy on himself?
>>34069525I have to believe he hasn't cheated on me yet, because I believe he wouldn't lie to me. He loves me, why would he lie to me? :(I don't want to be alone anon, fuck, I really don't.
>>34069518>>34069535niggahe's not bihe's fucking GAYyour worst fear you talked about your man cheating because he is gay isn't ABOUT to happen, it's happened already and is happening right nowyou're in the middle of it, you CANNOT change course in any way to stop this
>>34069535>I believe he wouldn't lie to me. He loves me, why would he lie to me? :(He wants to cheat on you, with a man, while you watch, and is threatening to destroy the relationship if you don't agree. Why would he do *that* if he loves you? Of course he doesn't love you. And lying to you is absolutely trivial compared to that.
you gotta dump him. not even joking.
>>34069254Fantasies are one thingActually I evolving some other person is another
